High Noon
by rentheadperson
Summary: Breaking Dawn from Edward's POV. The T rating IS NOT FOR SAFETY!
1. Prologue 1

I'm still working on this one, but here it is. Breaking Dawn from Edward's POV. Be kind. I'm not the best at writing bedroom scenes (luckily I didn't have to write much in that department). This is DEFINITELY a work in progress. Still VERY rough. And I'm not completely done with Book 3 yet.

I decided to do it in 3 books like Stephenie did, just because it was easier to write the prologues and find epitaphs that way, since the mood of Breaking Dawn varies so much.

Note: I STILL DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR THE CHARACTERS!

WARNING! THIS STORY CONTAINS A BEDROOM SCENE!

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Book 1

Paradise

_With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.  
_**-Book of Common Prayer**

Prologue

Bella's heart started racing as I slowly carried her back into the house. She didn't look at me as I set her gently on the bed. Her eyes were down, focused on the floor.

Now I was the calmer of the two of us. I had been fine since she'd first placed her hand on mine in the ocean. All of my nerves, my fears, my worries were completely gone. This felt too right to be wrong. I knew this would be safe. She had been right all along. I couldn't hurt her.

But now _she_ was terrified. Not terrified of me, I knew that. Terrified of facing the unknown. Terrified that she would do something wrong, or that she wouldn't be good at this. But she couldn't do anything wrong in my eyes. There was no reason for her nerves. Now it was my turn to comfort her.

"Bella, love, look at me," I whispered.

She didn't. I coaxed her chin up with my finger until she was forced to meet my gaze. A single tear was in the corner of one of her eyes.

"Are you all right?" I asked her as I wiped the tear away.

She didn't answer.

"Nervous?"

Finally, I got a response. She nodded timidly.

"Are you sure you want to do this now, Bella? We don't have to if you don't want to."

"I'm sure," she whispered, barely audible. "Just give me a minute."

And suddenly, I knew what to say. Somehow, I knew exactly what it was that she needed to hear. She needed reassurance that I wasn't going to judge her, that I loved her unconditionally. She needed a reminder that it was me sitting here with her. "It's me, love," I whispered, stroking her cheek. "It's just me." I kissed her softly, trying to reassure her.

It worked. Her heart rate slowed to semi-normal and she locked her arms around my neck, returning the kiss with a passion that might have set the whole island on fire.


	2. 1 Anticipation

1. Anticipation

"I miss you already," Bella whispered against my chin.

"I don't need to leave. I can stay…"

"Mmm," she sighed, and pressed her lips to mine again.

It was the night before our wedding, and we were lying on Bella's bed, intertwined as much as possible, considering the afghan she was swathed in to keep warm. I was trying to avoid the bachelor party that Emmett and Jasper had insisted on throwing for me. I would much rather spend the night here with my fiancée. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was really going to be marrying the woman of my dreams tomorrow. Every time I thought or said the word _fiancée_ as it related to Bella, I felt like I would explode with joy.

She opened her eyes and gazed into mine. I smiled. I could swear I saw all the way to her soul when she looked at me like that. She had the most beautiful soul. So brave, so trusting, so giving. Her own concerns always came last. And by some miracle, she was mine. What good deed had I done to deserve this truest of all loves?

She pulled my face back to hers.

"Definitely staying," I murmured when she let me speak again.

"No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go," she said, but she twisted the fingers of one of her hands in my hair, while her other hand pressed against the small of my back.

I stroked her face as I spoke. "Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point."

"True," she agreed as her warm breath caressed my throat.

She moved her hand from my back and ran it down my bare chest, tracing unseen patterns on my stomach with her fingers. A shudder of pleasure rippled through me and I kissed her again. She touched the tip of her tongue lightly against my lip. I sighed in ecstasy, but then started to pull away. Being this close to her made me nervous. I always shied away from my instincts when I wanted most to keep going.

"Wait," she said, gripping my shoulders and pulling herself closer as she kicked herself free of the afghan. "Practice makes perfect."

I chuckled, trying to keep my mood light. "Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?"

"But this is the dress rehearsal," she insisted. "And we've only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing safe."

Playing safe. What a perfect phrase to describe what I was doing. I was pulling away from this when a much more dangerous situation was just around the corner, looming closer and closer in the distance. I couldn't believe I had actually agreed to this. Bella never asked me for anything (although I wanted to give her the world and everything in it), and the one thing she wanted before she became immortal, the only thing she'd ever asked me for, was to make love with me as a human. The one thing I didn't want to give her, not because I didn't want it just as much as she did, but because I was afraid for her safety. She'd begged and pleaded with me, and it was painful to refuse her. After much persuasion, I'd agreed to try, after she married me. I'd promised her a real honeymoon. I had been blissfully happy that night, because it had gotten me what I wanted. That was the night that she had finally agreed to marry me.

But now, with the moment of truth coming closer and closer, I was nervous. Extremely nervous. It was too hard to concentrate when she was with me, even like this. I was so scared that I would lose my focus and hurt or even kill her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did.

"Bella…" I whispered.

"Don't start this again," she scolded me. "A deal's a deal."

"I don't know. It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this." _And this is while you're fully clothed. _"I—I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt."

"I'll be fine," she insisted for what seemed like the millionth time.

"Bella…"

"Shh," she said, pressing her lips to mine again.

I kissed her back, but I was more controlled this time. I didn't let myself go too far. I knew it was the wrong thing to be doing. I knew I should be encouraging myself to keep going, so that I would be able to control myself more when the time came for the actual act. But I couldn't make myself do it. I just wasn't as into it as before as I thought about the honeymoon.

"How are your feet?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Toasty warm," she replied without hesitation.

"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind."

And part of me wished she would change her mind. I knew she thought she was the luckiest woman on the planet, but I didn't agree. I thought she deserved better, and I still couldn't understand what she saw in me, why she loved me. Not that I wasn't immensely grateful that she did.

"Are you trying to ditch me?" she teased.

I chuckled. "Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."

"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

She could live through it? So she wasn't sure about becoming a vampire? "Can you?" I asked quietly. "I don't mean the wedding—which I am positive you will survive despite your qualms—but afterward…what about Renee, what about Charlie?"

She sighed. "I'll miss them," she said for the umpteenth time. We'd been through this before.

"Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike."

"I'll miss my friends, too." She smiled deviously. "Especially Mike. Oh Mike! How will I go on?"

I growled playfully.

She laughed before continuing. "Edward, we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

Much as I loved hearing those words come out of my angel's mouth, I was still scared. Worrying about everything that was coming. And I still thought I was the most selfish, deplorable creature on the planet for having agreed to all of this. First, I'd told her that I would change her myself if she married me (my idea, not hers—I knew it would buy me a little more time with her as a human, and being married to her was what I wanted most in the world). Then, I'd agreed to give her a real honeymoon, something I knew would be dangerous, even deadly, for her. I should be quarantined.

I was completely, madly, wretchedly in love with my Bella, and that would be true forever, every single second of every single day of forever. I wanted more than anything to be married to her. I didn't know how I would survive the wait, even though it was only a few hours. But the rest…it was so selfish of me to have agreed to it. I wanted it for myself, desperately. I never wanted to have to lose her, and I wanted so much to physically express the passionate love I felt for her. But even though she wanted to become a vampire after the honeymoon, or thought she did, I still couldn't shake the feeling that it was wrong. I was taking so much away from her by agreeing to change her.

"Frozen forever at eighteen," I whispered.

"Every woman's dream come true."

"Never changing…never moving forward."

"What does that mean?"

I hesitated, unsure if she would want to hear what I was thinking of. "Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were…pregnant?"

"And he thought about shooting you," she joked. "Admit it—for one second, he honestly considered it."

I didn't answer. I knew Bella didn't want to hear that I wished I could have children with her. She was only eighteen, after all. Having children wasn't even a blip on her radar right now. She wasn't ready for that. But in the future…if she were a vampire, it would never be possible.

"What, Edward?" she asked after a pause.

I guessed it was better to just spit it out. "I just wish…well, I wish that he'd been right."

"Gah."

I amended my statement, although I _did_ wish it were true. "More that there was some way he _could _have been. That we had that kind of potential. I _hate_ taking that away from you."

She thought about that for a minute. "I know what I'm doing," she finally said.

"How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine."

"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did—we'll adopt."

I sighed. "It's not _right_!" I exclaimed in a fierce voice. "I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human—"

She put her hand over my lips to silence me. "_You_ are my future. Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you _need_ a bachelor party."

"I'm sorry," I said, penitent. I shouldn't be focusing on the negative right now. I was getting married tomorrow, for goodness' sake! How could I be dwelling on the negative when I was getting the thing I wanted most in the world tomorrow? "I am moping, aren't I? Must be the nerves."

"Are _your_ feet cold?" she asked.

"Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can't wait—"

_Get out here right now, or we'll come in there and get you ourselves._ Emmett interrupted my train of thought.

"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!" I exclaimed.

"What's wrong?" my love asked.

I clenched my jaw. "You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."

She pulled herself closer to me for a second, and then let me go. She knew she didn't have a prayer of winning a tug-of-war with my brothers. "Have fun," she told me.

Emmett ran his fingernails against the window, and the sound was worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. Bella shuddered.

"If you don't send Edward out," Emmett hissed, "we're coming in after him!"

"Go," Bella laughed. "_Before_ they break my house."

I rolled my eyes as I got to my feet and put my shirt back on. I leaned down and kissed my angel's forehead. "Get to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow."

"Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down."

"I'll meet you at the altar," I said, and the anticipation made my stomach curl into a knot.

"I'll be the one in white," she said, sounding perfectly at ease. I knew she was mortified at the public exhibition she was going to be the center of tomorrow.

"Very convincing," I said with a chuckle. I crouched down and sprang out her window before Emmett could break it down.

"You'd better not make him late," I heard Bella mutter.

Jasper sprang up the tree and poked his head in her window. "Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time."

"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?"

"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett growled, mock punching me a little harder than necessary on the shoulder. _Don't worry, kid. We'd never subject you to that._

I laughed quietly. Of course, I knew that. If they had even thought of doing anything remotely similar to a normal human bachelor party, I would never have agreed to go along with this.

"Relax," Jasper told Bella. "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."

"Thanks, Jasper."

He was back on the ground with Emmett and me in half a second.

"All right," I sighed in resignation. "Let's do this."

Jasper had been telling Bella the truth. My brothers were going to take me hunting before the wedding. I couldn't argue with the logic there, which was one of the reasons I'd agreed to go. But, even though we weren't doing anything extremely special, my brothers were still ridiculously enthusiastic to have some time with me. And, if I admitted it, I was glad to be able to have one last night to be reckless with them before I got married, too. Carlisle had wanted to come with us, but Emmett and Jasper convinced him to stay home. They wanted some brotherly bonding time with me without our father around.

I hunted, catching a few mountain lions, but I wasn't really into it. I was still worrying about the honeymoon. I was almost ready to back out of the deal, but I wouldn't do that to Bella. She wanted it too much, and I couldn't hurt her like that. When I had refused her in the past, she'd taken it as rejection. She'd thought I didn't want her. On the contrary, I wanted her more than she knew. I'd wanted her from the moment I'd realized I was in love with her, and the desire had only intensified over time. At times, it felt like I would explode from it. The only thing that had stopped me before was Bella's safety, and that was the only reason I was so apprehensive about it now. But if I refused her after we were married, it would be a hundred times worse. I would follow through with my side of our bargain, despite my qualms.

When we'd all drunk our fill, we sat down on some rocks to just enjoy each other's company. My nerves were getting worse by the second, and even Emmett, unaffected as he was by any serious climate, noticed it.

"Hey, kid, cheer up," Emmett told me. "You're getting married tomorrow."

I smiled as I imagined how beautiful Bella would look in her wedding dress. Not that I'd actually seen it. Alice was always very careful not to think of it when she was around me. But I could still imagine it.

"What's up, bro? Talk to us," Jasper encouraged.

"I…I can't," I said apologetically.

"Edward, you should be happy, tonight of all nights. You're marrying Bella tomorrow. We all know how much that means to you, and you're sitting here moping. What's on your mind?"

"It's too embarrassing to talk about," I admitted.

"Emmett, leave," Jasper joked.

We all laughed.

"Not a chance," Emmett said jokingly. "You need to talk to us, Edward," he continued in a more serious tone. "If you don't get it out now, you'll be moping tomorrow and you'll ruin it for Bella."

"Edward, we're your brothers. We're here to help you," Jasper reminded me. "Tell us what's going on. Emmett, if you won't leave, at least behave yourself, please. I've never seen him this nervous."

"I'll be good," Emmett promised. "You look like you're about to explode, kid. Talk."

"Okay, so I'm worried about the honeymoon," I admitted.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked. "You're worried that something will happen to her on the island? I'm sure she'll be fine. You'd be able to save her from anything that could possibly happen."

My brothers had no clue about the bargain I'd made with Bella. Only Carlisle, Esme, and Alice knew. I'd wanted to keep it from Alice, because I'd thought she'd tell Jasper, but of course, it was ridiculous to assume I could keep anything from her. But she'd promised me she would block it out and she wouldn't tell a soul. She'd had faith in me when I'd almost given in before, and that faith hadn't been lost now. I wished I could feel that positive.

I sighed. Maybe it would be good to say it out loud. "You guys know that Bella never asks me for anything. I want to give her the world, but she doesn't want anything from me, except for one thing: me. She asked me…no, begged me, to have sex with her before she was changed."

Emmett howled with laughter. _Kid doesn't think he's got game._

"Emmett, shut up," Jasper scolded him. "Let him talk."

"Sorry. I couldn't help it," Emmett said, grinning.

"Go on, Edward," Jasper encouraged, calming me with his gift.

"This is the only thing Bella's ever asked me for. The one human experience she wants to have before she becomes a vampire. After she begged pitifully for about half an hour, I told her we would try, after we got married. At first, I was happy about it, because that was what finally convinced her to marry me."

Emmett guffawed.

"Emmett," Jasper growled. "Continue, Edward."

"Now I'm terrified," I said.

"What's got you worried?" Jasper asked. "Really, it's a good thing. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Seriously, kid. The only thing better than sex is drinking human blood," Emmett said, slightly more serious. "And since we don't drink human blood…I guess it's the best feeling in the world."

"I don't think you fully appreciate how fragile humans are," I said. "Jasper, tiny as Alice is, you've never had to worry about crushing every bone in her body. And Emmett, Rose is, well, Rose. They've been vampires for as long as you've known them."

Emmett was still confused, but Jasper understood instantly.

"Does Bella realize how dangerous it is for her?" Jasper asked.

I sighed. "I don't think she does. Not really. She's convinced that I can't hurt her. She realizes that I'm physically capable of it, but she knows I don't want to hurt her, and I'm so careful with her all the time that she doesn't think I could."

Emmett finally got it. "So you're worried that you're going to kill Bella because you'll be so focused on getting some?"

Jasper growled menacingly at Emmett.

I sighed again. Tact was definitely not something Emmett had a knack for. "Well, basically, yes," I said. "I don't trust myself to be able to concentrate enough to tell if I'm hurting her."

"So tell her to tell you if you're hurting her," Jasper suggested.

I'd been planning on doing that already. "Thank you, Captain Obvious. But what if I can't stop?" My worry was becoming more pronounced now.

"You love Bella," Jasper said. "You've tasted her blood, the blood that smells sweeter to you than any other human's blood, and you were able to stop drinking it after you got James' venom out. I'm sure you'll be able to stop yourself, or at least reign yourself in, if she tells you that you're hurting her."

"What if she doesn't even realize it?" I asked.

"If you're hurting her badly enough, she will," Jasper said, trying to comfort me.

That had been the wrong thing to say. "Oh, so she'll be able to tell if I break one of her bones? She could be black and blue from head to toe the next day and not have ever known that I was being too rough with her, but that's okay?"

I suddenly felt very calm, and I knew it was Jasper's doing. But instead of being slightly annoyed like I usually was, I was grateful. I needed to calm down.

"It'll work out, kid," Emmett said, all traces of humor gone from his voice. He understood my worries now and he wanted me to forget about them. "Just relax. Think about tomorrow. Don't worry about the honeymoon now. Think about the wedding."

"Believe me, Emmett, I've tried. I've tried not to think about it, but it's looming on the horizon like a thundercloud. I can't ignore it."

"Everything will be fine, bro," Jasper encouraged. "I have faith in you. You'll be able to do this, and you'll enjoy it. I promise."

"I don't trust myself not to hurt her," I said, still not convinced.

"We trust you," Jasper said sincerely. "Have you talked to Carlisle about this?"

"Of course."

"Does he think you can do it?"

"Yes, he does."

"Well, Carlisle knows you even better than we do," Emmett said, still trying to help Jasper calm me. "If he believes you can do this without hurting Bella, you can."

"I'm not sure about that," I said.

"I know Alice has to have seen it. Does she see Bella hurt afterwards?" Jasper asked.

"Well, no, but she promised to block it out. So she might not see if Bella's going to get hurt," I told him.

"Don't be so negative about it," Emmett suggested. "If you think like this about it, of course something will go wrong."

I tensed with worry again, but I was calmed almost instantly.

Jasper hissed. "Emmett, that probably wasn't the best way to say that. But the idea of what he just said is good advice, bro. Think positively about it, and everything will work out well."

I sighed. They were right. I just had to have the same faith in myself that the rest of my family did. Everything would work out fine. Bella trusted me, Carlisle trusted me, Esme trusted me, Alice trusted me, my brothers trusted me. I would be able to do this. I just had to think positively.

"So, is Alice throwing Bella a bachelorette party?" Emmett asked, trying to lighten the mood.

It worked. We all laughed.

"No, she's not," Jasper said. "So at least Edward doesn't have to worry about a bunch of male strippers as competition."

We laughed again. I was glad I'd finally voiced my concerns out loud, and, despite Emmett's jibes, it was good to know that my family had faith in me that I could give Bella what she so desperately wanted without hurting her. For the rest of the evening, I locked my worries about the honeymoon in a little drawer in my head and concentrated instead on enjoying my time with my brothers.


	3. 2 Big Day

2. Big Day

My brothers and I got home after lunchtime the next day. Although I valued my life too much to cross Alice, Esme still made sure I couldn't see Bella. She put Emmett and I to work setting up tables in the backyard and dispatched Jasper to pick up Renee and Phil from their hotel.

When Emmett and I had finished our duties, I headed toward my room to change into my tuxedo. Luckily, Alice's room was on the opposite end of the house from mine, so she wouldn't think I was trying to sneak a peek at the bride before the ceremony. I heard Bella hyperventilating and her heart racing. It took all of my willpower not to go to her and try to comfort her and calm her down. Instead, I raced with inhuman speed to my room, shut the door, and quickly changed into the tuxedo. Then I sat on the edge of my bed, dazed. It seemed surreal. Was I really getting married today? Time seemed to have flown by, even by vampire reckoning.

And then, all alone and with no one to comfort me, I once again started to worry about the honeymoon. It was good to know that everyone in my family trusted me, and that Bella trusted me. But I still didn't trust myself. I knew I needed to let my worries go and be as positive about it as everyone else was, but that was much easier said than done, and every time I thought of it, I couldn't help but think that something bad was going to happen. I was almost tempted to ask Alice if she saw Bella hurt afterwards, but, quite frankly, it was embarrassing just thinking about the fact that she'd seen part of it before she blocked it out. I didn't want her to "unblock" her vision and see the whole thing. So I would have to get over my nerves without the benefit of Alice's visions.

It seemed only a second later, though it had actually been much longer, when Carlisle knocked on my door. "Edward? Can I come in?"

"Sure," I said, my voice breaking with a dozen different emotions. "The door's unlocked."

Carlisle walked in and assessed my expression. _Are you all right, son? You look like you've seen a ghost._

"I'm fine," I lied.

_Oh, yeah, I can tell._ He rolled his eyes._ Talk to me, son. Get it out now._

"I'm worried…about tomorrow night."

Carlisle sighed. _How many times do I have to tell you that everything will be fine? Trust me._

"It's just that…I'm always so gentle with her, when I'm concentrating. It might not work like that this time."

_It will. Everything will be fine. Don't worry about it._

I sighed. I still wasn't completely convinced.

_I mean it. Don't worry about it. Not now. You'll have plenty of time to panic while she's sleeping on the plane._ He grinned.

"Gee, thanks. That helps," I said, rolling my eyes. I knew he was trying to ease my tension, so I tried to let it work. Why was I concentrating on this when I was about to marry Bella?

He laughed. _Forget about the honeymoon for now. You're marrying Bella today. _ He grinned again, this time with joy, not humor.

Joy flooded over me now, replacing the anxiety. "I can't believe it. Is this all really happening?"

He spoke aloud for the first time. "Yes, it is. You're really getting married in less than half an hour."

I shook my head, dazed. "Wow."

He smiled warmly at me. "I can't tell you how happy I am for you, son. Bella's…I can't even describe how perfect she is for you."

I smiled for the first time since he'd come into the room. "I constantly wonder what good deed I did in a past life to deserve her."

He laughed quietly. "After all this time, I still wonder the same thing about Esme."

"Before I met Bella, I didn't even realize I was capable of feeling this way about someone. I'd thought that had died when my heart stopped beating. But…when I'm with her, I can almost feel my heart beating again."

"I know exactly what you mean, son."

I glanced at my clock. I had twenty minutes before the ceremony, and I was on an emotional roller coaster. I needed to calm down before I went down there and said my vows.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked my father. "Can you bring Jasper in here?"

Carlisle smiled. "Of course. I'll go grab your corsage, too."

I smiled. "Thanks."

Once again, I let myself lock away my worries about the honeymoon. Carlisle was right. I would have plenty of time to psyche myself up for it while we were on the plane. I was marrying Bella in less than twenty minutes. I couldn't focus on that now.

I heard Bella's heart racing at a million miles a minute as Rosalie started to play the piano. Fifteen minutes until the ceremony. I suddenly wished I'd thought to write down the lullaby I'd written for Bella when we'd first met so Rosalie could play it before the ceremony. That would calm her down. I sighed. Too late now.

Carlisle returned a couple of minutes later with Jasper, carrying my corsage as well as his. I instantly felt a flood of peace wash over me and was free to let the joy that had wanted so desperately to break free earlier take over my mind.

I smiled at Jasper. "Thanks, bro."

He smiled back. "Anytime. Now focus. You're marrying Bella in ten minutes."

"I can't believe it," I said. "If it weren't for the fact that I haven't been able to dream for almost ninety years, I would swear I was dreaming right now. This is so surreal."

Jasper laughed. "I know what you mean. Can you believe that it's been less than two years since you met Bella?"

"No, I can't. It feels like another lifetime ago."

Carlisle walked up and pinned my corsage on my jacket. "Congratulations, son. I'm almost as happy as you are today."

"I don't think that's possible, Carlisle," I told him, taking his corsage and pinning it on him.

"I'd have to agree," Jasper said. "I don't think I've ever seen _anyone_, _anywhere_ as happy as Edward is right now."

I grinned. "Seriously?"

Jasper laughed. "Yes, seriously. And this surprises you why?"

Carlisle's smile widened as he clapped me on the shoulder. "All right, it's time. Let's go get married!"

We walked down the stairs and went to stand in our places under the canopy of flowers. Alice really had done a fantastic job with the decorations.

Rosalie smiled at me. _Congratulations, Edward. I mean it. I'm so happy for you._

"Thank you, Rose," I muttered through closed lips, so low that anyone who wasn't a vampire wouldn't have a prayer of hearing.

The music changed into Wagner's wedding march and my stomach curled into a knot with the anticipation.

Alice danced gracefully down the stairs and down the aisle, taking her spot near Rosalie. She was Bella's only bridesmaid. _I hope Bella makes it through this without passing out. You have to calm her down somehow, Edward. I think she's about to have a heart attack._

I snorted silently. Alice was still in her planning mode.

And then Bella came down the stairs, escorted by her father. I was so glad that Alice had kept the dress from me until now. It made the impact that much more breathtaking. Bella looked more beautiful now than she ever had, and that was saying something. I remembered back when I'd first met her, how I'd been in pain thinking of Bella walking down the aisle, marrying someone, but now I felt a surge of pride. She was _mine_. _I _was the one she was walking down the aisle towards. I didn't understand how the joy I was feeling could be contained inside me. I smiled, euphoric with happiness.

It seemed like it took forever for Charlie to get her down the short aisle. Alice must have seen how impatient I would be and made allowances. I held out my hand for my angel as she approached me, and Charlie, in a symbol as old as the world, placed his only daughter's hand in mine. I heard her heart rate slow to normal as our hands touched and my grin widened, now with humor at the irony. My touch used to be what made her heart race, and now it was what calmed her down.

_He really is a decent guy. I suppose I'm glad Bella's marrying him_, Charlie thought grudgingly.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" Mr. Weber asked.

"I do," Charlie choked out, and then went to take his seat next to Renee.

Our vows were the traditional vows that had been spoken a million times, with only one small change. We'd traded the line "till death do us part" for the more appropriate "as long as we both shall live."

Suddenly, all of my fears about the future faded away, because nothing else mattered but that I got to keep Bella forever. It seemed silly of me to fear her transformation, or to fear the honeymoon. The fears I'd had before were gone. Not locked away, completely gone. She was mine, she wanted me, and she wanted me forever. That was what mattered. That was what was important.

I didn't realize that it was time to say the binding words until I heard Bella say them first.

"I do," she choked out through her tears.

I listened more closely now, so I wouldn't miss my cue. When the time came for me to speak, the words rang out clear and victorious.

"I do," I vowed solemnly.

My entire family, especially Esme and Carlisle, nearly choked with joy and satisfaction as I said those two simple words.

"By the power vested in me by the state of Washington, I now pronounce you man and wife," Mr. Weber announced.

I took my angel's beautiful face carefully between my hands and stared straight into her eyes as I bent down to kiss her. If I could have cried, I would have. Bella stood up on her toes to reach me and threw her arms, bouquet and all, around my neck.

I kissed her tenderly, adoringly, forgetting the time, the place, and the crowd. It wasn't until I heard the titters and throat-clearing from the guests that I remembered we had an audience to our display of affection. I pulled back, much too soon, to look at…my wife. I fought a smirk of amusement at our public exhibition, but underneath my amusement was a deep, glowing joy. This amazing, beautiful woman was mine forever. I would never have to let her go.

I turned our bodies to face the crowd as they erupted into applause, but I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella. I kept her hand firmly in mine as I passed her through the crowd, from embrace to embrace.

Of all the gestures of kindness made at our wedding, one of them stood above all the others. Seth Clearwater had braved the throng of his mortal enemies to stand in for Jacob Black, the werewolf, Bella's lost best friend.


	4. 3 Confrontation

3. Confrontation

Alice truly was fantastic at planning parties. The ceremony flowed seamlessly into the reception. It was just twilight over the river, which had allowed the sun to set behind the trees. The lights in the trees glimmered, lighting up the entire backyard with an otherworldly glow.

We were greeted once more by the friends we'd just embraced inside, and there was time to talk now.

"Congrats, guys," Seth Clearwater said without a trace of tension or apprehension. He was perfectly at ease among his natural enemies. He leaned toward me with his arms extended.

Keeping one arm around my new wife, I returned the hug. Seth's mother, Sue, shuddered. She was not nearly as at ease among vampires as her son.

"It's good to see things work out for you, man," Seth told me sincerely. "I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Seth," I replied with the same sincerity. "That means a lot to me." It did mean a lot, that a werewolf (well, a shape-shifter, really, but still, a werewolf) was willing to set aside his animosity to be here for his friend. I pulled away from the hug and turned to look at Sue, who was standing a little further away with Billy Black, Jacob's father. "Thank you, as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today."

"You're welcome," Billy said in an optimistic tone. This optimism didn't stem from his happiness about the wedding. He was about as thrilled as his son was about my relationship with Bella. No, his optimism was due to the fact that Jacob had returned home today.

My desires about Jacob warred with each other. Half of me wanted Jacob to stay away, fearing his presence would upset Bella. The other half wanted him to come, thinking it would make Bella happy to be able to see him for a moment.

A bit of a line was forming, so Seth waved goodbye and started to wheel Billy toward the food. And then he gave me the answer I had been waiting for.

_I'm not completely sure, but I think Jacob is going to come for a few minutes a little later. Please let him have a little time with Bella. I know it would mean the world to him, _Seth thought as he walked away.

I smiled as Angela Weber and her boyfriend, Ben Cheney, claimed us next, but not because of them. Because, now that I knew Jacob was coming, I saw how happy it would make Bella to see him, just for a few minutes.

Bella's fears about her friends gossiping behind her back and pointing fingers were all completely unnecessary. Angela was beyond thrilled about how things had turned out with Bella and I, as was Ben. Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton were also happy for us. Well, Jessica more than Mike. It took all of my effort not to throw Mike and his little fantasies off of my property.

Behind Bella's friends was the Denali clan. I tensed a little as Tanya approached me with her arms extended. I hugged her reluctantly. I still hadn't forgotten my last visit to Denali.

"Ah, Edward," Tanya said. "I've missed you." _I see you're still stuck on this human girl._

I chuckled and quickly extricated myself from Tanya's arms, placing one hand on her shoulder. "It's been too long, Tanya. You look well." Actually, it apparently had not been long enough, and she looked…sad. Sad because she now realized that a relationship between us would never be possible.

"So do you." _Well, at least you're happy again. I suppose that's what matters most._

"Let me introduce you to my wife," I told her. It was the first time I'd said the word out loud since it was true, and I nearly exploded with satisfaction saying it now. The Denalis all laughed lightly at my exultation. "Tanya, this is my Bella."

Tanya eyed Bella curiously, and then reached to take her hand. "Welcome to the family, Bella." She smiled ruefully. She still wished it was her. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I _am_ sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?"

"Of course," Bella said, a little breathless. "It's so nice to meet you."

"The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?" She grinned at Kate.

"Keep the dream alive," Kate said, rolling her eyes and taking Bella's hand from Tanya's. "Welcome, Bella."

Carmen put her hand on top of Kate's. "I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar. We're all so very pleased to finally meet you."

"M-me, too," Bella stuttered.

Tanya glanced at the line behind her and then turned back to Bella. "We'll get to know each other later. We'll have _eons _of time for that!" She laughed at her little joke as she and her family moved on. _Congratulations, Edward. It's good to see you happy again. And I really am sorry about what happened on your last visit._

I turned and winked at her to show her she was forgiven.

All of the standard traditions were kept. We were blinded by camera flashes as we held the knife over the wedding cake. We took turns shoving cake in each other's faces, and, in keeping with the human charade, I swallowed my portion while Bella watched in disbelief. It tasted disgusting. Then it was my turn to watch in amazement as Bella threw her bouquet with atypical skill right into Angela's surprised hands. And Emmett and Jasper howled with laughter as I _very_ carefully removed the silk garter Alice had lent Bella with my teeth. With a quick wink at my bride, I shot it straight into Mike Newton's face.

Finally, the music started and I pulled Bella into my arms and led her to the dance floor for the customary first dance. Alice hadn't let either of us know what song we'd be dancing to, but I trusted her to pick something appropriate. She didn't disappoint. The song was "When You Say You Love Me" by Josh Groban.

_Hope you approve,_ Alice thought, and I smiled at her. The song was perfect.

I would have been content just to stand there holding my new wife, but this was a rather momentous dance, so I whirled us around the dance floor, making Bella look like Ginger Rogers.

"Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?" I whispered in her ear. I nearly exploded with satisfaction saying Bella's new name out loud.

Bella laughed. "That will take a while to get used to."

"We have a while," I reminded her, leaning down to kiss her while we danced. Cameras clicked feverishly.

Too soon, the music changed, and Charlie tapped on my shoulder. I unwillingly surrendered Bella to him and went to dance with Esme.

Bella and I danced with most of the crowd, and I endured most of the boys' thoughts about her. That is, until Mike Newton claimed her, envisioning removing her dress. I cut in just half a minute after that dance started.

"Still not that fond of Mike, eh?" Bella commented as I whirled her away from him.

"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts," I told her. "He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse."

"Yeah, right."

Then I realized that Bella might not have actually seen herself. I was sure she wouldn't have wanted to before the ceremony. "Have you had a chance to look at yourself?"

"Um. No, I guess not. Why?"

"Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman. I _am_ disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror."

_Edward, you heard her heart racing,_ Alice thought. She'd heard my comment. _I decided it wasn't the best idea to make her look at herself._

"You are very biased, you know," Bella told me.

I sighed and turned her around to face the house. The glass reflected the party back like a long mirror. I pointed at our reflection. "Biased, am I?"

_Hey, Edward, it's Jacob. Is it too much to ask to be able to see Bella for a minute?_ Jacob's thoughts were agonized, but pleading. _I promise I won't upset her. I'm just here to be her friend tonight._

I stiffened and turned toward the direction of Jacob's thoughts. "Oh!" I said, and grinned. I was thrilled that Jacob had decided to come see Bella. I knew it would make everything perfect for her.

"What is it?" Bella asked.

The grin got wider. "A surprise wedding gift."

"Huh?"

Instead of answering, I just started dancing again, whirling us away from the lights and into the woods. I paused a few feet away from him and looked at him.

"Thank you," I told him sincerely. "This is very…kind of you."

_You know I didn't do it for you. _"Kind is my middle name," he answered. "Can I cut in?"

Bella's hand flew to her throat in surprise. I felt her legs give out and tightened my grip on her so she wouldn't fall.

"Jacob!" she choked out a moment later. "Jacob!"

"Hey there, Bells," he said casually.

Bella stumbled toward the sound of Jacob's voice. Unsure if she was able to stand, I kept my grip on her until Jacob caught her. He made no effort to dance; he just hugged her while she buried her face in his chest. He leaned down to press his cheek to the top of her head.

_Don't worry, bloodsucker. I'm not going to try anything. The game's over. You won. Congratulations._ Jacob's thoughts were still agonized, but I was fairly confident that he wasn't going to try anything funny, so I decided to give Bella a little gift of my own: a moment alone with her best friend.

"Rosalie won't forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor," I murmured, and then left.

Instead of heading straight for Rosalie, I went to find Jasper and Emmett and explained the situation to them. I knew that Jacob was going to try his very best to make his presence here a gift and not a judgment, but I also knew that just the smallest thing Bella said could upset him, and I wanted to have backup, just in case.

_We've got your back, kid,_ Emmett promised me. _We won't let him trash your wedding._

Then, I went to dance with Rosalie, but I was more focused on listening to Bella's conversation with Jacob than on the dance.

"Sorry I'm late, honey," Jacob was saying.

"I'm just so happy you came!"

"That was the idea."

"Does Billy know you're here?" she asked.

"I'm sure Sam's told him. I'll go see him when…when the party's over."

"He'll be so glad you're home."

"I don't know if I get more than just this one dance," Jacob said. "I'd better make the best of it."

It was silent for a moment, and then Jacob spoke again.

"I'm glad I came. I didn't think I would be. But it's good to see you…one more time. Not as sad as I'd thought it would be."

"I don't want you to feel sad," Bella told him.

"I know that. And I didn't come tonight to make you feel guilty."

"No—it makes me very happy that you came. It's the best gift you could have given me."

Jacob laughed. "That's good, because I didn't have time to stop for a real present." He was in agony, but he was being very careful not to let it show, struggling to make his presence here a gift for Bella.

"When did you decide to come back?" Bella asked.

"Consciously or subconsciously?" He took a deep breath. "I don't really know. I guess I've been wandering back this direction for a while, and maybe it's because I was headed here. But it wasn't until this morning that I really started _running_. I didn't know if I could make it." He laughed. "You wouldn't believe how weird this feels—walking around on two legs again. And clothes! And then it's more bizarre _because_ it feels weird. I didn't expect that. I'm out of practice with the whole human thing.

"It would have been a shame to miss seeing you like this, though. That's worth the trip right there. You look unbelievable, Bella. So beautiful."

For once, Jacob's thoughts did not turn vulgar as he thought of how Bella looked tonight. He was in too much pain for that.

"Alice invested a lot of time in me today," she said. "The dark helps, too."

"It's not so dark for me, you know."

"Right. You cut your hair."

"Yeah. Easier, you know. Thought I'd better take advantage of the hands."

"It looks good."

Jacob snorted. "Right. I did it myself, with rusty kitchen shears. Are you happy, Bella?" he asked seriously.

"Yes," she said without a moment's hesitation.

"Okay. That's the main thing, I guess." _I just wish it was me she could be happy with._

"How are you, Jacob? Really?" Bella asked him, concerned.

"I'm fine, Bella, really. You don't need to worry about me anymore. You can stop bugging Seth."

"I'm not just bugging him because of you. I _like_ Seth."

"He's a good kid. Better company than some. I tell you, if I could get rid of the voices in my head, being a wolf would be about perfect."

Bella laughed. "Yeah, I can't get mine to shut up, either."

"In your case, that would mean you're insane. Of course, I already knew that you were insane," Jacob teased.

"Thanks."

"Insanity is probably easier than sharing a pack mind. Crazy people's voices don't send babysitters to watch them."

"Huh?"

"Sam's out there. And some of the others. Just in case, you know."

"In case of what?"

"In case I can't keep it together, something like that. In case I decide to trash the party." That was actually a very appealing idea to him, but he wouldn't do it. "But I'm not here to ruin your wedding, Bella. I'm here to…" Jacob trailed off, unsure of why exactly it was that he was here.

"To make it perfect," Bella finished.

"That's a tall order."

"Good thing you're so tall."

He groaned at Bella's bad joke and then sighed. "I'm just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last time."

"Sam should give you more credit."

"Well, maybe I'm being oversensitive. Maybe they'd be here anyway, to keep an eye on Seth. There are a _lot_ of vampires here. Seth doesn't take that as seriously as he should."

"Seth knows he's not in any danger. He understands the Cullens better than Sam does."

"Sure, sure," Jacob said, peacemaking before it could turn into a fight. He didn't want to fight with Bella tonight.

"Sorry about the voices," Bella told him sympathetically. "Wish I could make it better."

"It's not that bad. I'm just whining a little."

"You're…happy?"

"Close enough," Jacob lied. He was in agony every day. Not a day went by that he didn't think of Bella and wish she'd chosen him. "But enough about me. You're the star today." He chuckled. "I bet you're just _loving _that. Center of attention."

"Yeah. Can't get enough attention," Bella said sarcastically.

Jacob laughed, and I had to laugh with him. I knew Bella was putting on a brave face for me tonight. She hated attention.

"I'll give them this much," he said. "They know how to throw a party."

"Alice is an unstoppable force of nature."

The song that was playing ended. Jacob sighed. "Song's over. Do you think I get another one? Or is that asking too much?" _Please, Edward. Just one more._

"You can have as many dances as you want," she told him.

He laughed. "That would be interesting. I think I'd better stick with two, though. Don't want to start talk." _And I'm not sure if I can hold myself together longer than that._ "You'd think I'd be used to telling you goodbye by now."

I heard Bella start sobbing softly. I wanted to go to her, but I realized that she needed Jacob to comfort her now. She needed to be able to tell him goodbye.

"You're not supposed to be the one crying, Bella," Jacob said in a soft voice.

"Everyone cries at weddings," she said thickly.

"This is what you want, right?"

"Right."

"Then smile." He laughed at Bella's failed attempt to obey. "I'm going to try to remember you like this. Pretend that…"

"That what? That I died?"

That hadn't been the brightest thing for Bella to say. Jacob clenched his teeth at the reminder of what was to come. I rushed over to just a little way away from them, ready to step in at a moment's notice.

"No," Jacob finally answered. "But I'll see you this way in my head. Pink cheeks. Two left feet. All of that."

I saw Bella stomp on his foot as hard as she could and I smiled.

Jacob smiled, too. "That's my girl." He started to ask her if she was going to be changed tonight, but he gritted his teeth and refrained.

"What is it, Jake?" Bella asked. "Just tell me. You can tell me anything."

"I—I…I don't have anything to tell you."

"Oh, please. Spit it out."

"It's true. It's not…it's—it's a question. It's something I want _you_ to tell _me._"

"Ask me."

He struggled with how to word it. He suddenly wished he hadn't brought it up. He didn't want to say goodbye to Bella like this.

But Bella knew Jacob well enough to know what it was that Jacob meant to ask. "It's not tonight, Jacob," she whispered.

"Oh." He tried to hide his relief, but he wasn't successful. "Oh. When?"

"I don't know for sure. A week or two, maybe."

"What's the holdup?" he asked, his voice taking on a mocking edge.

I was very close to rescuing Bella from what I was sure was an uncomfortable situation for her, but Jacob hadn't actually done anything to hurt her yet, so I waited.

"I just didn't want to spend my honeymoon writhing in pain," she told him.

"You'd rather spend it how? Playing checkers? Ha ha."

Oh, for the love of all that was holy! Of course, Jacob _would_ bring up the subject of our honeymoon. I tensed, unsure if I should break this up now or after Bella told him that she was indeed going to have a real honeymoon with me. I was sure she would. I knew Jacob acting like that would set her off.

"Very funny," Bella said dryly.

"Kidding, Bells. But, honestly, I don't see the point. You can't have a real honeymoon with your vampire, so why go through the motions? Call a spade a spade. This isn't the first time you've put this off. That's a _good_ thing, though," he said earnestly. "Don't be embarrassed about it."

"I'm not putting anything off," she snapped. "And _yes I can_ have a real honeymoon! I can do anything I want! Butt out!"

I shook my head. She should have known better. But I wouldn't say anything to her about it. I was sure Jacob's reaction would cause her more than enough pain. And I was right.

Jacob was horrified. He knew exactly how dangerous Bella having a real honeymoon with me would be. He tried not to imagine it, but he couldn't help it. I cringed away from his visions, visions of Bella bleeding and broken, mutilated by me. And once again, I was terrified of tomorrow night.

"What?" Jacob gasped. "What did you say?"

"About what…? Jake? What's wrong?"

What was wrong? Couldn't she tell? What kind of reaction did she _think_ Jacob would have to her dropping that bombshell?

"What do you mean?" he demanded. "Have a real honeymoon? While you're still _human_? Are you kidding? That's a sick joke, Bella!"

I saw Bella glare at her friend. "I said butt out, Jake. This is _so_ not your business. I shouldn't have…we shouldn't even be talking about this. It's private—"

And that did it. Jacob gripped Bella's arms tightly and shook her.

"Ow, Jake! Let go!" she protested.

"Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking!"

He shook her again, and his rage was such that he was about to phase.

"Jake—stop!"

That was it. I was going in.

"Take your hands off her!" I said icily.

Sam snarled at Jacob from the black night. He and the rest of the pack were about as thrilled as Jacob was about Bella's wishes, but they didn't want this to turn into a fight any more than I did. _I'm sorry, Edward. We're all on your side tonight._

Seth came up behind me. _I'm sorry, man. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have even brought it up. It's not Bella's fault._ "Jake, bro, back away," he urged gently. "You're losing it."

Jacob was frozen as he was, his horrified eyes wide, staring at Bella, but seeing nothing.

"You'll hurt her," Seth whispered. "Let her go."

"Now!" I snarled. What, since he thought I was going to kill Bella anyway, he'd decided just to do the job himself?

Jacob suddenly realized what he was doing and dropped his hands. Before he could phase with Bella so close, I picked her up and whisked her half a dozen feet away. I tensed in front of her. Jacob was about to phase and attack me, and I wasn't having Bella anywhere near that.

"C'mon, Jake," Seth murmured, wrapping his arms around Jacob, trying to calm him. "Let's go."

"I'll kill you," Jacob choked out, his voice barely a whisper. "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!" He shuddered convulsively.

Sam growled again. _Don't worry, Edward. I'll stop him from doing anything if he phases. I still have authority over him._

Jacob was getting dangerously close to phasing, and if he phased with Seth so close…the possibilities were horrifying.

"Seth, get out of the way," I hissed.

Instead of moving out of the way, Seth tugged on Jacob, forcing him away from me and Bella. "Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon." _Be careful, Edward. Please_, he thought as he tugged Jacob into the woods.

Sam saw that Seth couldn't succeed in this effort alone, so he walked in front of Jacob, put his head against Jacob's chest, and shoved. The three of them—Seth towing, Jacob shuddering, and Sam pushing—disappeared into the darkness.

Quil was still there, staring after them.

"I'm sorry," Bella whispered to him. She was in agony now.

"It's all right now, Bella," I murmured.

Quil turned to look at me with unfriendly eyes, but his thoughts were apologetic. _Sorry about that. Just…please be careful. She means a lot to all of us, too._

I nodded once.

Quil huffed and ran after his friends.

"All right," I said to myself. It was over. Then I turned to look at Bella. Her pain was still very evident. "Let's get back," I told her.

"But Jake—"

"Sam has him in hand. He's gone."

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I was stupid—"

She _had_ been a little careless, but she was in enough pain already, and this was our wedding. "You did nothing wrong—"

"I have such a big mouth! Why would I…I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?"

"Don't worry," I said, touching her face. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence."

She shook her head, dazed. "Give me two seconds," she pleaded.

She turned to look at me.

"My dress?" she asked.

She still looked as beautiful as she had before, though now her expression was pained. "You look fine. Not a hair out of place."

She took two deep breaths and put a serene mask on. "Okay. Let's go."

I took her in my arms and led her back to the light. When we got back to the party, I spun her gently onto the dance floor.

"Are you—" I began.

"I'm fine," she told me. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with _you_."

"It's over," she said. "Let's not think of it again tonight."

Easy for her to say. She hadn't had to see what Jacob thought would happen to her. I couldn't erase Jacob's vision from my mind. Couldn't help but think that might actually happen. I didn't answer her.

"Edward?" she asked.

I closed my eyes and leaned down to touch my forehead to hers. "Jacob is right," I whispered. "What _am_ I thinking?"

"He is not," she insisted. "Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly."

"I _should _let him kill me for even thinking…" I muttered in a low voice.

"Stop it," Bella growled. She grabbed my face in her hands and waited until I opened my eyes before she spoke again. "You and me. That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?"

She was right. I couldn't, wouldn't let that little episode ruin my happiness tonight. I was a married man now. I had gotten what I wanted most in the world. That was what I would focus on.

"Yes," I sighed.

"Forget Jacob came. For me. Promise that you'll let this go."

I stared into her eyes for a long moment before responding. "I promise."

"Thank you," she said. "Edward, I'm not afraid."

"I am," I whispered.

"Don't be," she said in a soothing tone. She took a deep breath and smiled. "By the way, I love you."

I smiled a little. That was the first time she'd said that all night. "That's why we're here."

"You're monopolizing the bride," Emmett said, coming up behind me. "Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush." He laughed, but his thoughts were serious. _Go inside for a bit, kid. Get a hold of yourself. Everything will be fine._

I followed Emmett's advice and went inside for a few minutes, going up to my bedroom. Carlisle and Jasper followed me. Jasper at first didn't try to calm me. They just let me sit there and panic for a few minutes. And then I felt a wave of peace come over me.

"Calm down, bro," Jasper whispered. "Jacob doesn't know you."

"Jacob is a werewolf, son," Carlisle said."He was brought up to think that vampires are naturally violent creatures. He doesn't fully realize how much you love Bella. I still trust you."

"You didn't see what Jacob thought of when Bella told him," I whispered. "He saw her broken, bleeding, mutilated."

"It doesn't matter what he thought_,_" Carlisle said. "Just take it slowly, gradually, and it will work out fine."

"Don't think negatively about this, bro," Jasper said. "Remember what Emmett said? If you think like this about it, of course something will go wrong. You'll be so worried about not hurting her that you won't enjoy it and you _will _end up hurting her because of your tension."

"Jasper's right," Carlisle said. "I know this is going to sound insane, but just don't think too much about it, and everything will be fine."

I sighed. As usual, my father and brother had given me good advice.

"Thanks," I said.

"Anytime. Now go on back to Bella," Jasper ordered. "Remember? Your wife?" He grinned.

I smiled at my father and brother and got up to go downstairs. I waited until the song was over and then whisked Bella away from Eleazar. She smiled and laid her head against my chest. I tightened my arms around her, trying to make all of my fears disappear.

"I could get used to this," she told me.

"Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?" I teased.

"Dancing isn't so bad—with you. But I was thinking more of this." She pressed herself tighter against me. "Of never having to let you go."

"Never," I promised, and I leaned down to kiss her.

I'd all but forgotten the place, the guests, and, most importantly, the time, when Alice interrupted our moment.

"Bella!" she called. "It's time!"

I ignored my sister, kissing my new wife more urgently than before, trying to remind myself that I _could_ be physically affectionate with her without hurting her.

Alice was right next to us now. "Do you want to miss your plane? I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon, camped out in the airport waiting for another flight."

I turned my face for a moment to mutter, "Go away, Alice," and then pressed my lips to Bella's again.

"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?" she demanded.

Bella didn't answer, and neither did I. At the moment, neither of us cared.

"I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward," she growled. "So help me, I will."

I froze then, and unwillingly pulled away from Bella. I had kept the location of our honeymoon a secret, and I wasn't about to have Alice spoil the surprise now. I glared at my favorite sister. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

"I didn't pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted," she snapped at me, grabbing Bella's hand. "Come with me, Bella."

Bella pulled against Alice and stretched up to kiss me one more time. It lasted all of two seconds before Alice impatiently hauled her away.

I ran to my room to change, and Emmett and Carlisle followed me. Jasper went to pull my Volvo out front.

Emmett hugged me. "Congrats, kid. Have fun on your honeymoon." He wagged his eyebrows like a villain in vaudeville as he pulled back. I had to laugh.

"Thanks, Emmett," I said. "We will."

"And…don't worry about tomorrow night. We all trust you."

Carlisle's arms replaced Emmett's. "I'm so happy for you, son. And Emmett's right. We trust you. If we didn't, you know we wouldn't be encouraging this. None of us would risk Bella's safety."

I sighed. "I know. Thanks. Well, I'll see you guys when we get back."

I walked out of my room, wearing jeans and a button-down shirt, and went to wait for my new bride at the bottom of the stairs. I heard the Volvo's engine stop and knew Jasper was back. I needed to say goodbye to him before we left.

"Jasper?" I called.

Almost instantly, Jasper was beside me. He caught me in a bear hug, and he let a flood of peace and calm wash over me. _It'll be fine, bro. Just take it slowly and everything will work out. _"Have fun, bro. See you when you get back."

"Thanks for everything, Jazz," I murmured.

"Don't mention it. By the way, congrats again."

I pulled out of his hug to grin at him. "Thanks."

"Bella's coming," he told me, and I turned to see her coming down the stairs, looking stunning in the blue dress Alice had picked out for her. Alice was right behind her, followed by Renee and Esme.

_You won't hurt her, Edward. Don't panic, _Alice thought. _And, by the way, congratulations._ She grinned at me.

I grinned back at my favorite sister as Bella rushed down the stairs and took my outstretched hand. She leaned away from me, scanning the crowd.

"Dad?" she asked as she searched.

"Over here," I murmured, pulling my bride through the guests to Charlie, who was leaning awkwardly against the wall behind everyone else. He'd been crying.

"Oh, Dad!" Bella exclaimed as she hugged him around the waist.

Charlie patted his daughter's back. "There, now. You don't want to miss your plane."

"I love you forever, Dad," Bella said in a thick voice. "Don't forget that."

"You too, Bells. Always have, always will." They kissed each other's cheeks at the same time. "Call me," Charlie requested.

"Soon," Bella promised.

"Go on, then," he said gruffly. "Don't want to be late."

The guests made an aisle for us, and I pulled my new wife close to my side as we walked outside.

I stared into her eyes when we were on the doorstep. "Are you ready?" I asked her.

"I am," she said, and she spoke the words with such conviction that I couldn't doubt her.

Everyone applauded when I kissed her on the doorstep, and then I rushed her to the car as the rice storm began. Most of the rice didn't even hit us, but Emmett threw with uncanny precision.

My Volvo was decorated with flowers that trailed in streamers along its length, and long gossamer ribbons that were tied to a dozen brand-new designer shoes dangling behind the bumper. I sighed. Well, at least Emmett and Jasper hadn't decided to toilet paper it or write JUST MARRIED on the back windshield with shaving cream or anything else.

I shielded Bella from the rice as she climbed in the car, and then I got in and we sped away. Bella rolled the window down, waved, and called "I love you," to our friends and family on the porch.

I squeezed her hand, and tried to calm myself. "I love you," I told her for the first time tonight.

She leaned her head against my arm. "That's why we're here," she quoted me.

I smiled and kissed her hair.

As we turned onto the highway and I really hit the accelerator, another noise rose above the sound of the engine. I was sure Bella could hear it, too, but neither of us said anything.

The piercing, heartbroken howling grew fainter and more distant as I accelerated even faster, eager to get away from it.


	5. 4 Experiment

4. Experiment

"Houston?" Bella asked, raising her eyebrows, when we reached the gate in Seattle.

I grinned. "Just a stop along the way."

She had fallen asleep on the plane and was groggy as I dragged her through the airport in Houston. It took her a few minutes to catch up with what was happening.

"Rio de Janeiro?" she finally asked when we were at the international check-in desk.

"Another stop," I told her.

The place we were going for our honeymoon was not on any map, except one drawn up by Carlisle. He'd actually had an island made for Esme off the coast of Rio, and Esme had offered to let us borrow it for the honeymoon.

Bella slept in my arms for the plane ride to Rio, and I watched her sleep, lost in thought yet again. I couldn't shake the images that had popped up in Jacob's head out of mine. But my family still seemed confident in me, and that was comforting. So I concentrated instead on trying to psyche myself up for tonight, determined not to make Jacob's visions come to pass.

I realized that I didn't have a clue how to do this, and that terrified me. In theory, I knew how it worked, but not in practice. And, on top of not knowing how to do this, I would have to be aware, alert, not let my emotions and instincts get the best of me. I was scared out of my wits. Although I didn't want to back out, I did wish that Bella hadn't wanted _this_ experience while she was still human. I wanted this, but it would have been so much easier for both of us if she'd conceded to wait until she was immortal.

When we landed in Rio, my bride was already awake and alert. I led her out of the airport and to a taxi, giving the driver instructions in Portuguese to take us to the docks. Bella looked confused. And I could hear her heart beating unevenly. She was nervous. Well, that made two of us.

We stopped at the docks and I led Bella to the boat my family kept there. I hopped in and set down the trunks Alice had packed for us, then turned around to help Bella into the boat.

We'd been going east for a few hours when the curiosity finally got the best of her. "Are we going much farther?" she asked.

I turned around to grin at my new wife. "About another half hour."

Twenty minutes later, when I was sure Bella would be able to see the island, I pointed straight ahead.

"Bella, look there," I called over the roar of the boat engine.

"Where are we?" she asked, awed.

"That is Isle Esme."

"Isle _Esme_?" She was in shock, not completely comprehending the name.

"A gift from Carlisle—Esme offered to let us borrow it."

She frowned, I assumed at the lavish gift that Carlisle had given Esme.

I pulled the boat up to the dock and tied it off, then set the trunks on the dock. I turned around and smiled as I reached for Bella. I could tell she'd been expecting me to take her hand, but I couldn't wait for the threshold to sweep her up into my arms.

"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" she asked breathlessly as I leapt out of the boat with her.

I grinned. "I'm nothing if not thorough."

I adjusted my hold on Bella so I could carry her in one arm and gripped the handles of the trunks in the other hand, and then started to carry her up the dock and toward the house.

We were both very quiet as I walked, and her heart started to race again as she saw the house. I kept my eyes on Bella's face, but she wouldn't look at me. I could see how nervous she was, but, though I was nervous too, I was no longer convinced we were making a mistake. This felt right, as natural as breathing. I didn't ask her what she was thinking, because I didn't know what to say to her. I was probably more nervous than she was. I wouldn't be much help calming her down.

I paused at the threshold, setting the trunks down and waiting for her to look at me before stepping through it. I carried her through the house, still not speaking, flipping on lights as I went. Her heart was pounding so loudly now that it sounded like a drum beating. I paused before turning on the last light, revealing the huge white bed in the center of the room, hung with billowy clouds of mosquito netting. I set her on her feet.

"I'll…go get the luggage," I told her.

When I returned, she was sweating. I remembered that it was very hot to her here. I'd thought it would be best, so she didn't freeze against my cold body. But I'd forgotten how hot it would be here for her without me there. I wiped the sweat off the back of her neck with my finger.

"It's a little hot here," I said apologetically. "I thought…that would be best."

"Thorough," she murmured under her breath.

I chuckled nervously. "I tried to think of everything that would make this…easier."

She swallowed loudly, still facing away from me, possibly too nervous to look at me.

Suddenly, inspiration came. We didn't have to go straight to bed. Perhaps it would help to ease both of our nerves if we didn't. We could go for a midnight swim first. It would probably help us get a little more comfortable with this.

"I was wondering," I said slowly, "if…first…maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?" I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of."

"Sounds nice," Bella said. Her voice broke.

Maybe she needed a moment to herself. And, to be honest, I needed a moment to myself, too.

"I'm sure you'd like a human minute or two…It was a long journey," I murmured.

She nodded slowly.

I leaned down to brush my lips against her throat, just below her ear. I chuckled when she shivered. "Don't take _too_ long, Mrs. Cullen."

She jumped a little at the sound of her new name.

I brushed my lips down her neck to the tip of her shoulder. "I'll wait for you in the water," I said, and then walked past her to the French doors that opened right onto the beach. I shrugged out of my shirt on the way, letting it fall to the floor.

I walked up to a tree and hesitated for a moment before taking off the rest of my clothes. Did my skin burst into flames? I had to look down to check. No, it didn't appear that way. But a knot the size of a bowling ball had formed in my stomach, with no signs of leaving any time soon. I took a few deep breaths and hung the discarded articles of clothing on the tree, then went into the water.

I had a feeling that Bella would be a while. I'd never seen her this nervous, ever. Not even on the night she'd first asked me for this. My suspicions were confirmed as I heard the shower turn on. So, trying to pass the time and calm myself so I could encourage her to be calm, I swam under the water, coming up for air every so often to check on Bella's progress.

About twenty minutes later, as I came up, I heard her walking through the house, so I quickly swam closer to the shore and stood there waiting for her, with my hands resting on the surface of the water. I had my back turned, thinking that would be best, so she didn't have me watching her as she approached. Her heart was still racing and her breathing was still uneven.

And then, without any warning at all, her heart rate slowed to normal and her breath came more evenly. I heard her approach, but I didn't turn. A few minutes later, her hand rested lightly on mine. And, suddenly, all of my fears and insecurities faded away and the knot in my stomach uncurled in response to her touch. I realized that she didn't know how to do this, either. She had no more idea than I did what tonight would hold.

"Beautiful," she said, looking up at the moon.

"It's all right," I answered, unimpressed. Finally, I turned to look at Bella.

Was my heart beating again? It felt like it. I was glad she'd refused me that day in the meadow. It made this moment, seeing her undressed for the first time, that much sweeter. She was the most beautiful creature in the universe. And she was mine. I had a quantifiable claim on her now. I looked at my wife, taking in every line of her flawless body, marveling in the perfection, and turned my palm up so I could twine our fingers together beneath the water.

"But I wouldn't use the word _beautiful_," I continued. "Not with you standing here in comparison."

She half-smiled as she raised her free hand and placed it over my heart. I wondered if she could almost feel it beating, too. I shuddered the slightest bit at her warm touch. Suddenly, Jacob's vision came back to me. And I was more afraid now than ever of hurting my Bella. I couldn't live with myself if I mutilated this most perfect of all bodies. My breathing became uneven.

"I promised we would _try_," I said in a rough voice. "If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."

She nodded seriously, keeping her eyes on mine, and then took a step closer to me so she could rest her head against my chest. "Don't be afraid," she murmured. "We belong together."

I was overwhelmed by the truth of her words. We _did_ belong together. This moment was so perfect, so right, that there was no way to doubt it. Once again, my fears faded away. I wrapped my arms around Bella and pulled her closer against me. The electric current I felt every time my skin touched hers zinged almost audibly through my whole body. It wasn't nerves; it was pleasure, joy, ecstasy.

"Forever," I agreed, and then pulled us gently into deeper water.

Bella snuggled up against me, laying her head on my chest. "I love you," she murmured sleepily, and turned her head to kiss my chest. She sighed softly.

I smiled and kissed her hair. I wasn't sure if _love_ quite covered the emotion I was feeling right now. It was a mixture of love and joy and pride and ecstasy, all rolled into one. It was a beautiful, intense feeling, almost like I would have imagined being high felt like (not that I would have known for sure), but a million times better.

"I love you, too," I told her, my voice thick with the depth of my emotion. "Go to sleep, Bella, love. I'll still be here in the morning." I trailed my fingers idly across her back as I hummed her lullaby. Soon, her breathing was low and even. She was asleep.

I looked down at my love as she slept. I was so proud of her. She had swallowed all of her fears and insecurities, trusting me completely with them, trusting that I wouldn't judge her, and, more importantly, trusting that I wouldn't hurt her. If I'd had any doubts left about her love for me before, they were gone now. She would never have been able to do this if she didn't love me just as much as I loved her.

I wondered what it was that I'd been so afraid of. It had all been much simpler than I'd expected. We'd fit together like corresponding pieces, made to match up. And, aside from the couple of pillows I'd bitten, I'd had no trouble being gentle with her. I didn't even really have to focus on it. Just breathing her name had been enough reminder for me that I needed to be careful. It had been the best night of my entire existence. I wasn't sure how Emmett could even have compared it to drinking human blood, let alone said that drinking human blood was better. I hadn't wanted tonight to end.

A few hours later, as the sun rose, I was still looking at Bella, trying to comprehend the fact that this perfect creature was mine forever. And, as the sunlight illuminated her body, I saw _exactly_ what it was that I'd been afraid of. Her entire upper body was covered with blotches of purple and blue that matched up with the way I'd touched her. I fought back a scream of horror. It had been as I'd feared. She hadn't even realized I was hurting her. And now, her perfect, beautiful body was purple and blue and it was my doing. I should be quarantined for doing this to her. I was a monster. The kind that hurt people, even people I loved. How could I ever have agreed to this?

Around noon, I could tell that Bella was awake, but she didn't open her eyes. She just tightened her arms around my neck, pulling herself closer to me. I wanted to push her away. I was scared of hurting her again, but if she hadn't realized yet that she was hurt, that wouldn't be wise. I just continued to lightly trace patterns on her back, not speaking.

Her stomach growled and she laughed.

"What's funny?" I asked.

She blushed a deep red, and then her stomach growled again and she laughed again. "You just can't escape being human for very long."

No, she couldn't escape being human for very long. And part of being human was being fragile. Too fragile.

She finally opened her eyes and saw my serious expression. "Edward, what is it?" she asked, her voice breaking. "What's wrong?"

"You have to ask?" My voice was harder than I'd intended it to be.

Her forehead creased with worry and she didn't respond for a long moment.

I smoothed the worried lines on her forehead with my finger. "What are you thinking?"

"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I…?" she didn't finish her thought.

I narrowed my eyes. "How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth—don't try to downplay it."

"Hurt?" she asked, her voice an octave higher than normal.

I raised one eyebrow and pursed my lips.

She stretched experimentally. "Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never been better than I am now."

I closed my eyes. "Stop that."

"Stop _what?_"

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this."

"Edward!" she whispered, upset. "Don't ever say that."

I couldn't open my eyes and look at her. I couldn't bear to see what I'd done to my angel. "Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster."

"Why am I covered in feathers?" she asked after a moment.

I opened my eyes and exhaled impatiently. "I bit a pillow. Or two. That's not what I'm talking about."

"You…bit a pillow? _Why?_"

Why? Because I had somehow had enough wits about me to bite the pillows and not her. "Look, Bella!" I growled. I took her hand gingerly and stretched her arm out. "Look at _that_."

She looked down at her arm, seeing her injuries for the first time. She pulled her hand out of mine to poke at one of the bruises on her other arm.

So lightly that I was barely touching her, I placed my hand against one of the patterns on her arm, one at a time matching my fingers to the marks.

"Oh," she finally said.

"I'm…so sorry, Bella," I whispered while she stared at the bruises. "I knew better than this. I should not have—" The low, revolted sound in my throat would have been a sob, if such a thing were possible for me. "I am more sorry than I can tell you."

I threw my arm over my face, unable to bear looking at what I'd done to her anymore.

After a long moment, she touched my arm. I couldn't respond. She wrapped her fingers around my wrist and tried to pull my arm away from my face, but she could have been yanking on Michelangelo's _David_ for all the good it did her. I couldn't move my arm and look at the result of our little experiment.

"Edward."

I didn't answer.

"Edward?"

I still didn't answer.

"I'm not sorry, Edward. I'm…I can't even tell you. I'm _so_ happy. That doesn't cover it. Don't be angry. Don't. I'm really f—"

Fine? No, if there was one thing she was not, it was fine. "Do not say the word _fine_," I said in a cold voice. "If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine."

"But I _am_," she whispered.

"Bella," I moaned. "Don't."

"No. _You_ don't, Edward."

I moved my arm, watching her face warily. What did she mean? How did she want me to act when I'd just marked up her entire body with bruises?

"Don't ruin this," she said. "I. Am. Happy."

"I've already ruined this," I whispered.

"Cut it out," she snapped.

I gritted my teeth. Why wasn't she furious with me for doing this to her?

"Ugh!" Bella groaned. "Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so _inconvenient_ to be a mental mute!"

I widened my eyes in shock, distracted in spite of myself. "That's a new one. You love that I can't read your mind."

"Not today," she told me sincerely.

I stared at her, not comprehending. "Why?"

She threw her hands up and let them fall back on my chest. "Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now! Or five minutes ago, anyway. I _was_ perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now—well, I'm sort of pissed, actually."

Good. "You _should_ be angry at me."

"Well, I am. Does that make you feel better?"

I sighed. "No. I don't think anything could make me feel better now."

"_That_," she snapped. "That right there is why I'm angry. You are _killing my buzz_, Edward."

There was barely a spot of skin on her body that was its normal color, and she still didn't think I'd made a colossal mistake by agreeing to this? She didn't think I was a monster? I rolled my eyes and shook my head. She was _so_ human. Controlled by her hormones.

She took a deep breath and waited a moment before speaking again. "We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then—well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing," she said, brushing her hand along her arm. "I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice—"

Practice? Did she actually think I was going to try this again?

Now I was more furious at myself, if that was possible. She assumed it was going to be tricky? So she was anticipating injuries? "Assumed? Did you expect this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones—that equals a victory?"

She waited patiently, letting me get it out, and then waited some more while my breathing slowed back to normal. Finally, after a few minutes, she answered me. "I didn't know what to expect—but I definitely did not expect how…how…just wonderful and perfect it was." Her voice dropped, and she lowered her eyes from mine, looking at her hands. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me."

She'd thought I didn't enjoy myself? It had been the best night of my existence. But I couldn't think of it that way, not when I saw the aftermath. I pulled her face back up slowly. "Is that what you're worried about?" I said through clenched teeth. The anger wasn't completely gone. "That I didn't _enjoy_ myself?"

She still didn't look at me. "I know it's not the same. You're not human. I just was trying to explain that, for a human, well, I can't imagine life gets any better than that."

I'd forgotten how self-conscious and insecure she was. Of course, she would think that some of my anger had stemmed from her doing something wrong. She hadn't. She'd done beautifully, despite her nerves. I'd been so proud of her. How could I be mad at her, when she had trusted me so completely? This anger I was feeling was solely directed at myself for hurting her, for violating that trust so heinously. But it didn't mean that last night hadn't seemed too good to be true.

I waited for her to look at me before I spoke. "It seems I have more to apologize for," I said in a soft voice. I frowned. "I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't…well, the best night of my existence. But I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were…"

Bella smiled timidly. "Really? The best ever?"

I took my angel's face between my hands as I spoke. "I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you. He had faith in me, though—faith I didn't deserve."

She opened her mouth to protest, but I put two fingers over her lips to silence her.

"I also asked him what _I _should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me…what with my being a vampire." I attempted to smile. "Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me physical love was something I should not treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I did not need to worry about that part—you had already altered me so completely." This time, my smile was more genuine.

"I spoke to my brothers, too. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood." I furrowed my brow thoughtfully. "But I've tasted your blood, and there could be no blood more potent than _that_…I don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

"It _was_ more," she assured me. "It was everything."

"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way."

"What does _that_ mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?"

"To ease my guilt," I told her. "I can't ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes."

She grabbed my chin and leaned forward so our faces were just inches apart. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. _I've_ never been so happy in all my life—I wasn't this happy when you decided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill me, or the first morning when I woke up and you were there waiting for me…Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio"—I flinched as she spoke of the horrible memory of her close call with James—"or when you said 'I do' and I realized that, somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better than any of it. So just deal with it."

Why was I doing this? I was ruining our honeymoon with my mood. I touched the frown line between her eyebrows. "I'm making you unhappy now. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't _you_ be unhappy. That's the only thing that's wrong here."

I narrowed my eyes at her. I was still furious with myself. But she was right. I shouldn't be ruining our time together. I took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right. The past is past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now." I smiled serenely as she searched my face.

"Whatever makes me happy?" she asked, and her stomach growled as she spoke.

"You're hungry," I said quickly, jumping out of bed and pulling on a pair of khakis.

"So, why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" she asked as she sat up.

"I don't know if I _decided_ to do anything last night," I muttered. "We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you." I'd known this was true, but somehow saying it out loud made it more real, made me realize just how much of a monster I was for agreeing to this. I could so easily have killed her. I shook my head, trying to shake off the dark thought, and used all of my effort to smile her favorite crooked smile.

She slid off the bed, stretching again. As she stood up, I finally saw the lower half of her body, which was significantly worse than the upper half. From her waist down, she looked like she'd been crushed by a giant boulder, which wasn't too far from what had actually happened. I gasped and turned away, unable to look, balling my hands into fists.

"Do I look that hideous?" she asked, trying a little too hard to keep her tone light.

My breath caught. _Hideous_ didn't quite cover it. She looked…monstrous. Yes, that worked. Not that she looked like a monster. No, she looked like she'd just made love with a monster. And she had.

She walked to the bathroom, and I heard her groan.

"Bella?" I asked, rushing with inhuman speed to check on her.

"I'll _never_ get this all out of my hair!" she groaned, pointing to her hair, which was full of down feathers. She started to pick them out.

"You _would_ be worried about your hair," I muttered, going to stand behind her and pulling out the feathers more quickly than she had.

"How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous."

I didn't answer. I didn't want to upset her again. Nothing could be funny to me right now.

"This isn't going to work," she sighed after a minute. "I'm going to have to try to wash it out." She turned around and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Do you want to help me?"

"I'd better find some food for you," I said quietly, unwinding her arms. She sighed as I left.

I couldn't do this again, couldn't touch her recklessly or enthusiastically again, not until she had been changed. I would never hurt my Bella again.

About twenty minutes later, just as I was sliding the omelet I'd made for Bella onto a plate, she came into the kitchen, her stomach snarling.

"Here," I said, handing her the plate with a small smile on my lips.

Now that she was dressed, I had to admit, she didn't look quite so hideous. The dress she was wearing concealed the worst of her injuries. But I couldn't forget what was underneath the fabric.

She started shoveling the food in her mouth like she hadn't eaten in weeks.

I sat down in the chair next to her. "I'm not feeding you often enough."

"I was asleep," she reminded me after she swallowed another bite. "This is really good, by the way. Impressive for someone who doesn't eat."

"Food Network," I told her, flashing her favorite crooked smile.

She smiled too, glad to see me at least trying to be happy. "Where did the eggs come from?"

"I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first, for this place. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers…" I trailed off, trying not to remember what she looked like underneath the dress.

"Thank you," she said when she'd finished her breakfast.

She leaned across the table to kiss me. I kissed her back, a reflex reaction, but as I felt her swollen lips against mine, I stiffened and pulled away. I had done that to those perfect lips.

I heard her teeth grind together. "You aren't going to touch me again while we're here, are you?"

I hesitated, and then half-smiled as I raised my hand to stroke her cheek gently. I let my fingers linger softly on her skin, and she leaned her face into my palm.

"You know that's not what I meant," she said.

I sighed and dropped my hand. "I know. And you're right. I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again."


	6. 5 Assault

5. Assault

I tried to distract Bella while we were on the island. There was plenty for us to do here. We snorkeled (well, she snorkeled—I didn't need the equipment). We explored the small jungle that ringed the rocky peak. We visited the parrots that lived in the canopy on the south end of the island. We watched the sunset from the western cove. We swam with the porpoises (well, she did—when I was in the water, they disappeared as if there was a shark nearby). I completely wore her out during the day, and then I purposely cooked too much food for her, all heavy, filling foods, so she would fall asleep before she could try to convince me to have a re-run of our first night here. Whenever she tried to talk me into taking it easy with a movie during the day, I would lure her outside with phrases like _submerged caves_ and _coral reefs_ and _sea turtles_.

But that didn't completely stop her from trying. She tried reasoning, pleading, grouching, any angle she could think of. Of course, I was unwavering in my resolve. I wanted to give in so badly, but not hurting her was more important than my physical gratification.

She'd taken to wearing some of the lingerie collection that Alice had bought for her to bed. I didn't know how or when, but someday Alice was going to pay for that. Wasn't it hard enough to refuse her without having to see her in sexy undergarments?

About a week after we got to the island, I was waiting for her in a new bedroom, which was decorated with blue, one where the pillows hadn't been completely destroyed. She came out of the bathroom wearing a black, lacy number that should have been illegal. Why was she doing this to me? My eyes widened before I could control my expression.

"What do you think?" she asked, pirouetting.

I hesitated and cleared my throat so I wouldn't chastise her for making this harder for me. "You look beautiful. You always do."

"Thanks," she said sourly, and quickly climbed into the soft bed.

I pulled her into my arms, but this was routine. It was too hot for her to sleep here without me holding her.

"I'll make you a deal," she said sleepily.

I resisted the urge to growl. "I will not make any deals with you."

"You haven't even heard what I'm offering."

"It doesn't matter." Nothing she could possibly offer would be worth risking her life again. She didn't fully appreciate how easily I could have killed her.

She sighed. "Dang it. And I really wanted…Oh well."

I rolled my eyes as she closed her eyes and yawned. But wait…usually deals involved each party giving the other what they wanted. But she had said, "And _I_ really wanted…" Not me. She didn't want to bargain with me. She hadn't even brought me into the picture. She wanted something else. Of course, whatever it was, as long as it wasn't sex, I would give it to her.

"All right," I said, curious. "What is it you want?"

I heard her teeth grind together and I saw she was fighting back a smile. "Well, I was thinking…I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, but honestly, one semester of college probably wouldn't kill me. Charlie would get a thrill out of some Dartmouth stories, I bet. Sure, it might be embarrassing if I can't keep up with all the brainiacs. Still…eighteen, nineteen. It's really not such a big difference. It's not like I'm going to get crow's feet in the next year."

And then I realized what she was trying to tell me. She would wait to become a vampire. She knew that I wanted her to stay human for a while longer. I had wanted her to put off becoming a vampire. If I would try to make love with her again, she would stay human.

I was silent, processing this, for a minute. Finally, I spoke in a low voice. "You would wait. You would stay human."

She didn't answer.

"Why are you _doing_ this to me?" I blurted out angrily. "Isn't it hard enough without all of this?" I grabbed a handful of the lace that was ruffled on her thigh, intending to yank it off. But then I got control of myself. What was I doing? I relaxed my hand. "It doesn't matter. I won't make any deals with you."

"I want to go to college," Bella insisted.

I knew her better than that. "No, you don't. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That's worth hurting you."

"But I _do_ want to go. Well, it's not college as much as it's that I want—I want to be human a little while longer."

I closed my eyes and exhaled through my nose, trying to calm myself so I wouldn't respond in anger again. "You are making me insane, Bella. Haven't we had this argument a million times, you always begging to be a vampire without delay?"

"Yes, but…well, I have a reason to be human that I didn't have before."

Oh, great. "What's that?"

"Guess," she said, dragging herself off the pillows to kiss me.

I kissed her back. After I'd just exploded at her, I guessed she'd earned this much. But I kept my focus, completely controlling myself so I wouldn't go overboard. I was afraid that if I did, I might try to give her what she wanted. And even with this, I still fought with the urge to try a re-run of our first night here. I gently pulled her away after a moment and cradled her against my chest.

"You are _so_ human, Bella," I said, trying to sound amused instead of angry. "Ruled by your hormones." I chuckled, but it took a lot of work.

"That's the whole point, Edward. I _like_ this part of being human. I don't want to give it up yet. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me." She yawned.

I smiled her favorite crooked smile. "You're tired. Sleep, love." I started humming her lullaby.

"I wonder why I'm so tired," she muttered, annoyed. "That couldn't be part of your scheme or anything."

I chuckled once and then went back to humming.

"For as tired as I've been, you'd think I'd sleep better," she said suddenly.

I stopped humming. Actually, her sleep patterns were starting to worry me. She hadn't said a word in her sleep since we'd gotten here. I'd just chalked it up to the strange environment. But now she was telling me she wasn't sleeping well? "You've been sleeping like the dead, Bella," I told her. "You haven't said a word in your sleep since we got here. If it weren't for the snoring, I'd worry you were slipping into a coma."

"I haven't been tossing? That's weird. Usually I'm all over the bed when I'm having nightmares. And shouting."

Oh, how I wanted her to become immortal now, just so she couldn't be tormented by the nightmares anymore. "You've been having nightmares?"

"Vivid ones. They make me so tired." She yawned. "I can't believe I haven't been babbling about them all night."

"What are they about?" I instantly regretted asking that. I didn't want her to think about them any more than she had to.

"Different things—but the same, you know, because of the colors."

"Colors?"

"It's all so bright and real. Usually, when I'm dreaming, I know that I am. With these, I don't know I'm asleep. It makes them scarier."

My poor Bella. "What is frightening you?"

She shuddered. "Mostly…" she trailed off, not finishing.

I wanted to know what was tormenting my angel in her sleep. "Mostly?" I prodded after a moment.

"The Volturi," she whispered.

Of course. What else? I pulled her tighter to my chest. "They aren't going to bother us anymore. You'll be immortal soon, and they'll have no reason." She looked terrified. I wanted to make the dreams go away. I wanted to protect her from the dark places in her mind. "What can I do to help?"

"They're just dreams, Edward," she said, trying to shake it off.

"Do you want me to sing to you?" I asked, knowing how my singing to her calmed her. "I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."

"They're not all bad. Some are nice. So…colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all seems like it's really happening—I don't know that I'm dreaming. Maybe this island is the problem. It's really _bright_ here."

"Do you want to go home?"

"No. No, not yet. Can't we stay awhile longer?"

"We can stay as long as you want, Bella," I assured her.

"When does the semester start? I wasn't paying attention before."

I sighed. She wasn't going to give this up. I started humming her lullaby again, and she nodded off quickly.

In the middle of the night, Bella awoke with a start, gasping aloud.

"Bella?" I whispered, tightening my arms around her and shaking her gently, trying to help her re-orient herself. "Are you all right, sweetheart?"

"Oh," she gasped again, and suddenly she started crying.

"Bella!" I nearly shouted, my voice tense with worry. "What's wrong?" I wiped the tears from her face with my fingers, but others followed.

"It was only a dream," she said, to herself as much as to me.

"It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." I rocked her back and forth, a little too fast. But I couldn't make myself calm down. Bella was upset by whatever was haunting her in unconsciousness. "Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real."

"Not a nightmare," she said, shaking her head and scrubbing the back of her hand against her eyes. "It was a _good_ dream," she said, her voice breaking.

"Then why are you crying?" I asked, confused.

"Because I woke up," she wailed, wrapping her arms around my neck and sobbing into my throat.

I laughed, relieved that she hadn't been haunted by the Volturi in her sleep, but I was concerned. If the dream was this good, then why was she this upset?

"Everything's all right, Bella," I said, trying to make my voice soothing. "Take deep breaths."

"It was so real," she sobbed. "I _wanted_ it to be real."

"Tell me about it," I suggested. "Maybe that will help."

"We were on the beach…" she trailed off as she started to control the sobs.

I didn't want to think about what the probable cause for this grief was, now that I knew I had been in the dream. "And?" I prompted when she didn't continue.

She blinked the tears out of her eyes. "Oh, Edward…" she cried.

"Tell me, Bella," I pleaded.

But instead of speaking, she clasped her arms around my neck again and locked her mouth with mine. I had been right. Was this all an act? A new tactic to try to convince me to make love with her again? No, it couldn't be. She had been sound asleep just a minute ago. If this was an act, she was a much better actress than I thought.

But there was a bigger problem than me worrying about whether she was acting here. This wasn't desire I was feeling coming through in her kiss. It was need, so severe that she was in pain. But I couldn't ease the pain. I couldn't risk hurting her again. I gently struggled with her and pushed her back, holding her at half my arm's length, grasping her shoulders.

"No, Bella," I said, a little more sternly than I should have.

She dropped her arms and started sobbing again. "I'm s-s-s-orry," she mumbled through the tears.

Why was she apologizing to me? I should be apologizing to _her_, for even giving in the first time. If I hadn't given in then, this wouldn't be happening now. This was my fault, all of it. I pulled her back into my arms, crushing her gently to my chest.

"I can't, Bella, I can't!" I moaned, agonized. I hated causing my love this kind of pain. And, if I would admit it, my need was just as great as hers was right now.

"Please?" she sobbed. "Please, Edward?"

And then I couldn't resist any more. I couldn't be the cause for this kind of pain in my angel's voice. I put one finger under her chin and coaxed her face up, making her look at me. And, as I looked at her, I vowed to myself that I would not hurt her this time. I took a deep breath and pulled her mouth back to mine, surrendering with a groan.

I closed my eyes, afraid to look at Bella, when the light started coming in the window. What had I been thinking last night? I should never have given in. This time had been so much more intense than the time before, thanks to her acute need. How badly would she be marked up where I had touched her? I didn't want to know. But I couldn't avoid it forever, I supposed. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to assess the damage.

And…she wasn't hurt. At all. She slept peacefully on my chest, the only bruises on her body a week old. Then I looked at the headboard, which I had used as a…buffer. To channel the excess energy. I chuckled quietly, trying not to wake her. I would have to replace the bed frame. Especially if I tore it up further. And, since I saw that I could make love with Bella without hurting her, I had a feeling that the bed frame would get more chunks taken out of it. I grinned, my joy right now almost as great as the joy I had felt when I saw her walking down the aisle to marry me.

While she was sleeping, I decided to have a little fun at her expense when she woke up. I knew that she would think I would be angry with her for last night. So I would play that up a little bit when she woke up. I knew it was probably wrong, but I also knew that she'd forgive me easily. So I unwrapped my arms from around her. It took every ounce of energy I had.

When she finally woke up, I could tell that she was nervous about facing my wrath. So I wouldn't act quite as agitated as I'd originally planned. But I did keep my arms behind my head, staring up at the ceiling with an expressionless face, using every ounce of strength I had not to grin.

Bella peeked at me through her eyelashes and then pulled herself up on her elbow to be able to get a better look at my face. "How much trouble am I in?" she asked in a small voice.

"Heaps," I said, turning my head and smirking at her.

She sighed. "I _am_ sorry. I didn't mean…Well, I don't know exactly what that _was_ last night," she said, shaking her head.

"You never did tell me what your dream was about," I reminded her, although I'd guessed the answer already.

"I guess I didn't—but I sort of _showed_ you what it was about." She laughed, embarrassed.

"Oh." I widened my eyes, putting on my best shocked expression, and then blinked. "Interesting."

"It was a very good dream," she murmured.

I didn't answer. However good her dream had been, I knew it couldn't possibly compare to the reality that had followed.

"Am I forgiven?" she asked after a few seconds.

"I'm thinking about it," I said in as serious a tone as I could manage. I was having fun with this.

She tried to sit up, but she swayed and fell back against the pillows. "Whoa…head rush."

I wrapped my arms around her then, helping her back up. "You slept for a long time. Twelve hours."

"_Twelve?_"

She gave herself a once-over while she spoke, trying to be inconspicuous as she examined herself and stretched experimentally.

"Is the inventory complete?" I asked after a minute.

She nodded. "The pillows all appear to have survived."

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your, er, nightgown," I said, nodding to the foot of the bed, where the lingerie she had been wearing was strewn across the silk sheets in pieces.

"That's too bad. I liked that one."

"I did, too," I teased.

"Were there any other casualties?" she asked in a small voice.

"I'll have to buy Esme a new bed frame," I confessed, glancing back over my shoulder at the mutilated headboard.

"Hmm." She frowned. "You'd think I would have heard that."

"You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved."

"I was a bit absorbed." She blushed crimson.

I touched her red cheek and sighed. "I'm really going to miss that."

She tried to assess my expression. I made it calm, but otherwise unreadable.

"How are _you_ feeling?" she finally asked when she couldn't take it anymore.

That did it. I laughed. The expression on her face was priceless. It was a mixture of guilt and fear.

"What?" she demanded.

"You look so guilty—like you've committed a crime."

"I _feel _guilty," she muttered sheepishly.

"So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That's not a capital offense," I teased.

The blush on her cheeks intensified. "The word _seduced_ implies a certain amount of premeditation."

"Maybe that was the wrong word."

"You're not angry?" Bella finally asked.

I smiled. "I'm not angry."

"Why not?" she asked in a confused voice.

"Well…" I paused, trying to figure out how much to tell her. "I didn't hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time, to control myself, to channel the excesses." I looked at the damaged headboard again. "Maybe because I had a better idea of what to expect."

She slowly started to smile. "I _told_ you that it was all about practice."

I rolled my eyes, amused. But she was right. I wasn't sure what I had been so afraid of before. If I would have thought logically about it, I would have realized that since I knew what to expect, I would be able to control myself better. But then, when was I _ever_ logical when it came to my love?

Her stomach growled and I laughed. As she'd said on the morning after our first night here, she just couldn't escape being human for very long. "Breakfast time for the human?"

"Please," she said, hopping out of bed. Apparently she got dizzy again, because she nearly stumbled into the dresser. I caught her before she could.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

"If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund," she joked.

We pulled on some clothes and headed to the kitchen. She cooked this morning.

I chuckled as I watched her work, remembering the very first time I'd asked her about breakfast. It was the day after I'd first taken her to our meadow. I'd spent the night with her in her room, and was there, waiting for her when she got up. When I'd heard her stomach growl that morning, I'd simply said, "Breakfast time." She'd put on a very convincing look of wide-eyed terror and clutched her hands around her throat and then laughed when she saw my horrified expression. At the time, when I had still been terrified of scaring her off, I had nearly had a heart attack, metaphorically speaking. But now, I could look back and laugh at it.

She fried up some eggs and impatiently flipped them onto a plate sunny-side up after just a few minutes.

"Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up?" I asked.

"Since now."

"Do you know how many eggs you've gone through in the last week?" I pulled the trash bin out from under the sink, showing her the half dozen empty blue cartons.

"Weird. This place is messing with my appetite. But I like it here. We'll probably have to leave soon, though, won't we, to make it to Dartmouth in time? Wow, I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too."

I sat down next to my…wife. Although it had been a week and the wedding rings on our fingers were proof that we were married, it was still very hard to think of my Bella in such a formal sense. Or maybe I just hadn't really grasped it yet. Or something. Whatever the case, it seemed surreal to apply the word _wife_ to Bella.

"You can give up the college pretense now—you've gotten what you wanted. And we didn't agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached."

She snorted. "It wasn't a pretense, Edward. I don't spend _my_ free time plotting like some people do. _What can we do to wear Bella out today?_" she said in a poor impression of my voice.

I laughed, unashamed.

"I really do want a little more time being human. I have not had enough," she continued, leaning over to run her hand down my bare chest.

I looked at her skeptically. "For _this?_" I asked, catching her hand as it moved down my stomach. "Sex was the key all along?" I rolled my eyes. She was _so_ human. "Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself a lot of arguments."

She laughed. "Yeah, probably."

"You are _so_ human."

"I know."

My lips twitched upwards in a small smile. "We're going to Dartmouth? Really?"

"I'll probably fail out in one semester."

The smile turned into a grin. "I'll tutor you. You're going to love college."

"Do you think we can find an apartment this late?"

I grimaced guiltily. I'd bought us a house the day she'd promised to let me pay for Dartmouth. "Well, we sort of already have a house there. You know, just in case."

"You bought a house?"

"Real estate is a good investment," I said defensively.

She raised one eyebrow, but then let it go. "So we're ready, then."

"I'll have to see if we can keep your 'before' car for a little longer…"

"Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks," Bella said sarcastically.

I grinned.

"How much longer can we stay?" she asked.

Suddenly, I was very excited about this prospect. It might even help the charade when she was ready to be changed. It would make her parents less suspicious. "We're fine on time. A few more weeks, if you want. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renee and Phil…" I trailed off.

"A few weeks," she repeated. "So I was thinking—you know what I was saying about practice before?"

I heard a boat coming, and guessed it was the cleaning crew. Darn it! Well, we would have time later.

I laughed. "Can you hold on to that thought? I hear a boat. The cleaning crew must be here."

She smiled.

"Let me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo, and then we can go out. There's a place in the jungle on the south—"

"I don't want to go out. I am not hiking all over the island today. I want to stay here and watch a movie."

I pursed my lips, trying not to laugh at her disgruntled expression. "All right, whatever you'd like. Why don't you pick one out while I get the door?"

"I didn't hear a knock."

I cocked my head to the side, pretending to listen. They were going to knock in just a moment. I grinned when I heard the timid rap and turned for the hallway.

I greeted Gustavo and Kaure in a friendly tone and gestured toward my wife with a proud smile, introducing her to them. Gustavo smiled at my blushing bride, but Kaure was terrified. She was part Ticuna Indian and they had their own legends. She suspected that I was a vampire, or close enough. Her legends involved the _Lobishomen_, a blood-drinking demon who preyed exclusively on beautiful women. And she was afraid that I was about to kill Bella.

Before Bella could react to Kaure's terrified expression, I led them to the white room and, unable to come up with anything better, used a pillow fight to explain the feathery mess. I apologized for creating more work for them and then headed toward the living room, where Bella was looking at the DVDs. I wrapped my arms tightly around her.

"What's with her?" Bella whispered urgently.

I shrugged. "Kaure's part Ticuna Indian. She was raised to be more superstitious—or you could call it more aware—than those who live in the modern world. She suspects what I am, or close enough. They have their own legends here. The _Lobishomen_—a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women." I leered playfully at her.

"She looks terrified."

"She is—but mostly she's worried about you."

"Me?" Bella asked, shocked.

"She's afraid of why I have you here, all alone." I chuckled darkly and then looked at the DVDs. "Oh well, why don't you choose something for us to watch? That's an acceptably human thing to do."

"Yes, I'm sure a movie will convince her that you're human," she said with a laugh. She clasped her arms around my neck, stretching up on her toes to kiss me. I leaned down and then lifted her up off the floor so I didn't have to bend. "Movie, schmovie," she muttered as I moved my mouth down her throat.

And then Kaure was in the doorway. She gasped, horrified. I set Bella down quickly, and Kaure stared at her, checking to make sure she was all right. Bella blushed and looked down, and Kaure murmured an apology. I smiled and assured her that she was forgiven. Convinced that Bella was still alive, Kaure left and went back to cleaning the white room.

"She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn't she?" Bella asked.

I laughed at her convoluted sentence. "Yes."

"Here," she said, reaching out and arbitrarily grabbing a movie. "Put this on and we can pretend to watch it."

I looked at her selection. It was _Meet Me in St. Louis_. "Very honeymoonish," I approved.

Neither of us really paid attention to the movie. I relaxed on the sofa, and Bella snuggled into my arms.

"Will we move back into the white room now?" she asked.

"I don't know…I've already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair—maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday."

She grinned deviously. "So there will be more destruction?"

I laughed. "I think it might be safer if it's premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again."

"It would only be a matter of time," she said in a casual tone. But her heart picked up speed.

"Is there something the matter with your heart?" I teased.

"Nope. Healthy as a horse." She paused. "Did you want to go survey the demolition zone now?"

I fought back another laugh. "Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. _You_ may not notice me tearing the furniture apart, but it would probably scare them."

"Right. Drat." I could tell by the tone of her voice that she'd already forgotten about the people in the other room.

Just as the movie was finishing, Gustavo came and informed me that they were done and would return next week. I sat up, keeping Bella cradled against me, and thanked him. Gustavo nodded, and he and Kaure walked quietly to the front door.

"They're finished," I told Bella.

"So that would mean we're alone now?"

"How about lunch first?" I suggested.

She bit her lip, and I could tell she was torn. I smiled and led her to the kitchen to make her some lunch.

"This is getting out of hand," she complained when she finished eating. Her appetite had been ravenous the entire time we'd been here.

"Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon—burn off the calories?"

"Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories."

"And what was that?" I teased.

"Well, there's an awful lot of headboard left—"

I didn't let her finish her sentence. I swept her up into my arms and silenced her with a kiss as I carried her with inhuman speed back to the blue room.


	7. 6 Monster

6. Monster

Bella slept wordlessly, resting her head on my chest. I wondered if the nightmares were tormenting her again. I prayed they weren't. Because I needed to go hunting. This past week had been, well, a typical honeymoon, and I knew that me being thirsty wasn't going to help anything. It was agonizing to think of leaving my wife, but I saw the necessity of it. And, hopefully, she would never notice I was gone. But, just in case she woke up from one of her dreams, I left her a note.

I'm hoping you won't wake and notice my absence, but, if you should, I'll be back very soon. I've just gone to the mainland to hunt. Go back to sleep and I'll be here when you wake again. I love you.

I folded the piece of paper in half and addressed the outside of it to Mrs. Cullen. And then I left, swimming as fast as I could to the mainland, hoping to catch some animals quickly so I could get back to the island. It hurt being away from Bella.

Luckily for me, I did catch some jaguars in the jungle pretty quickly and was able to head back. When I got back to the house, I heard the DVD player playing the main menu of the movie we'd watched last week. We had never taken it out. And the windows were open, the hot breeze coming in. Bella was asleep on the couch, and she was sweating profusely. So much for me being thorough. I hadn't even considered how hot she would be here without me gone. I hadn't remembered that she'd started sweating when I was gone for just a few minutes on her first night here.

I sat down on the sofa, turned off the TV, and pulled her into my arms, wiping my hand across her clammy forehead. She woke up in response to the change in temperature.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "So much for thoroughness. I didn't think about how hot you would be with me gone. I'll have an air conditioner installed before I leave again."

"Excuse me!" she gasped, struggling to get free of my arms.

"Bella?" I let her go and she ran to the bathroom, and was then violently sick. I held her while she crouched over the toilet, pulling her hair back. "Bella? What's wrong?"

"Damn rancid chicken," she moaned when she could speak again.

"Are you all right?" I asked, the concern making my voice tense.

"Fine," she panted. "It's just food poisoning. You don't need to see this. Go away."

Nice try. "Not likely, Bella."

"Go away," she moaned again.

I gently helped her to stand, ignoring the weak shoves she aimed at me. I then got her a glass of water so she could rinse her mouth out and, when her mouth was clean, carried her back to the bed and sat her down, supporting her with my arms.

"Food poisoning?" I asked.

"Yeah," she croaked. "I made some chicken last night. It tasted off, so I threw it out. But I ate a few bites first."

I put my hand on her clammy forehead. "How do you feel now?"

"Pretty normal. A little hungry, actually."

I made her wait an hour and keep down a big glass of water before frying her some eggs. When she'd finished them and wasn't sick again, I put on CNN and she lounged across my lap, tired from having been up in the middle of the night.

After a few hours, she got bored with the news and turned around, I assumed to kiss me, but then jumped up and ran to the kitchen sink, unable to make it all the way to the bathroom. I rushed behind her and held her hair again.

"Maybe we should go back to Rio, see a doctor," I suggested anxiously while she was rinsing her mouth.

She shook her head. She was terrified of doctors. Well, not doctors so much as needles. "I'll be fine right after I brush my teeth."

I went back to the sofa to wait for her, but she took a little too long, so I walked up to the closed bathroom door and knocked. "Are you well?" I asked through the door. "Did you get sick again?"

"Yes and no," she said in a strained voice.

Now I was worried. Something wasn't right here. If she had food poisoning, she would still be getting sick, and she wouldn't be feeling perfectly normal after she had. I had enough medical training to know that. "Bella? Can I please come in?" I pleaded, my worry coming through in my voice.

"O…kay?"

I walked in and looked at her. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, her expression blank, staring at nothing. I went and sat next to her, putting my hand on her forehead again. "What's wrong?"

"How many days has it been since the wedding?" she whispered.

I didn't understand. "Seventeen. Bella, what is it?"

She held up a finger, signaling for me to wait.

After a minute, I couldn't stand it anymore. "Bella!" I whispered urgently. "I'm losing my mind over here."

She didn't answer. She just reached into the suitcase in front of her and fumbled around, pulling out a box of tampons and holding them up silently.

I couldn't comprehend this. I didn't want to think what she was trying to tell me. It couldn't be true. "What? Are you trying to pass this illness off as PMS?"

"No," she choked out. "No, Edward. I'm trying to tell you that my period is five days late. I don't think I have food poisoning."

I froze, unable to think, unable to move. Of course! Her sleep patterns changing, her description of the dreams, her appetite changing, her irrational tears at the most bizarre moments. Of course she was pregnant. And I couldn't hate myself for the past week, either, because it hadn't been from that. No, I'd gotten her pregnant on our very first night here. That was when everything started changing. I _was _a monster. And now I'd placed a monster inside of her. I was a monster for having agreed to this honeymoon in the first place.

I vaguely heard her mumbling to herself. "The dreams. Sleeping so much. The crying. All that food. Oh. Oh. _Oh._"

I wanted to get up and go to her, but I was frozen in place. I was incapable of moving. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't see straight. I was a monster. I knew I would hurt her if we made love while she was still a human. I knew it!

"Oh!" she squeaked again. And suddenly I saw it. Her hand was folded over her stomach, which was now bulging out. "Impossible," she whispered.

How had I not noticed before? The bump was not huge, but it was definitely there. This wasn't a human child. I wasn't sure what it was exactly, but this only confirmed my suspicions that it would hurt her. It was growing too quickly. I needed to get her home. I needed to see Carlisle, so he could make some sense out of this madness. My medical training had not prepared me for this. I couldn't think anymore. I couldn't move. I could not go to her, could not hold her, could not speak to her.

I sat there, not seeing anything anymore. I saw red. How could this be happening? I was frozen, a living stone. How could a living stone conceive a child? It wasn't possible. If it were, Esme and Rosalie would have figured out a way by now.

But then it dawned on me. Human male bodies didn't change from puberty until death. Human female bodies did. The reason vampire women couldn't conceive a child was because their bodies could not change in order to accommodate the child. But Bella's body could. And my body didn't have to change. Of course, how could any legends exist about vampire men fathering children, when their mates were unable? I was the only vampire I could think of that would have the restraint or the inclination necessary to test the theory with a human. Of course Bella could have a child with me. I hadn't needed to change in order to father a child. She was the only one who would need to change for this to happen. And it was happening.

I heard my cell phone ringing, but it sounded far away. I couldn't move to answer it. Finally, Bella came over to me and patted through my pockets, pulling the phone out and answering it. I listened to the conversation, which sounded like it was happening through a closed door, grateful that I was able to hear the other end of it.

"Hi, Alice," Bella said in a strained voice.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Um. Is Carlisle there?"

"He is. What's the problem?"

"I'm not…one hundred percent…sure…"

"Is Edward all right?" she asked warily, and then called for Carlisle. "Why didn't he pick up the phone?"

"I'm not sure."

"Bella, what's going on? I just saw—"

"What did you see?"

Yes, what had Alice seen? That would be very helpful to know right now.

Alice didn't answer for a long moment. "Here's Carlisle," she finally said.

"Bella, it's Carlisle," Carlisle said, worried. "What's going on?"

"I—I'm a little worried about Edward…Can vampires go into shock?"

She was pregnant with something that was not human, and she was worried about me? Why was I not surprised? Whenever she was in mortal danger, her only concern was always for me.

"Has he been harmed?" Carlisle asked urgently.

"No, no," Bella said. "Just…taken by surprise."

"I don't understand, Bella."

"I think…well, I think that…maybe…I might be…" she took a deep breath. "Pregnant." Her hand flew to her stomach.

She _might be_ pregnant? What other explanation could there possibly be?

After a very long pause, Carlisle's medical training kicked in. "When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?"

"Sixteen days before the wedding," she said immediately. She had probably counted fifty times to be sure of it.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Weird," she said, her voice breaking. She started to cry. "This is going to sound crazy—look, I know it's way too early for any of this. Maybe I _am_ crazy. But I'm having bizarre dreams and eating all the time and crying and throwing up and…and…I swear something _moved_ inside me just now."

That last bit of information made my head snap up. Suddenly, I regained control of my motor skills. What _was _this thing that I had placed inside the body I loved? It was way too early for her to feel it moving inside her. I needed to talk to Carlisle. I held my hand out for the phone.

"Um, I think Edward wants to talk to you," Bella told Carlisle after a long pause.

"Put him on," Carlisle said in a strained voice.

Bella placed the phone in my hand, looking like she wasn't sure if I _could_ talk, and sat beside me. Frankly, I wasn't sure if I could talk either, but I needed to try. I put the phone to my ear. "Is it possible?" I managed to whisper.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I didn't even think or know to warn you. There have been…legends…of humans conceiving children with vampires. They were a very long time ago, and there has never been any proof, so I didn't even think that they could possibly be true. But…the legends said that the children were half human and half vampire. Strong like vampires, and feeding on blood and human food both, but their hearts beat and they had blood in their veins. The legends also said that the children grew very fast, developing completely in about a month."

"And Bella?" I asked quietly, pulling my angel close to my side as I spoke.

"I don't know, Edward. The legends I heard didn't say anything about the mothers." He was terrified now, and I could tell he was revolted with himself for not thinking to warn us. He loved Bella as his own daughter. I was sure it sickened him to think that his oversight had caused this. "Edward, you have to get her back here. We have to get that thing out of her before it can hurt her. I don't know what will happen to her if this thing is allowed to grow. I don't care if you have to get Air Force One there to get her back here, you do it. I'll be ready when you get back."

"Yes. Yes, I will," I said, and hung up. I immediately started to dial the airport.

"What did Carlisle say?" Bella asked.

"He thinks you're pregnant," I answered in a monotone, lifeless voice.

"Who are you calling now?"

"The airport. We're going home."

Of course, why would the people at the airport be accommodating or speedy when I needed it most? I was on the phone with them for over an hour, arranging a nonstop flight from Rio to Seattle for today. For a while, they told me that it wasn't possible, that the flight was full and the next available flight was in a week. I hissed and argued violently with them, offering any amount of money to get us on the flight that was leaving today. While I argued, I packed, throwing a set of clothes on the bed for Bella as I spoke. Finally, I got them to agree to get us on the flight.

I walked into the kitchen, where Bella was absentmindedly eating a bag of pretzels.

"Bella?" I asked softly.

She turned, and I saw that she was crying.

I rushed to her side, putting my hands on her face. "Bella! Are you in pain?"

"No, no—"

If she wasn't in pain, then she had to be frightened. That was the only logical explanation. I pulled her close against my chest. "Don't be afraid. We'll be home in sixteen hours. You'll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. We'll take care of this, and you'll be fine, you'll be fine." I said the words as much to myself as to her.

I was terrified. Somehow, I didn't think it would be that simple. I didn't know why, but some little voice in my head was telling me that something would go wrong. But how could it? Carlisle would get the monster out of her before it could hurt her. Everything would be all right.

"Take care of this? What do you mean?" Bella asked.

What did she think I meant? I leaned away, keeping my arms wrapped around her, and looked her in the eye. "We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don't be scared. I _won't_ let it hurt you."

"That _thing?_" Bella gasped.

Before I could explain to her what was growing inside of her, I heard a boat. Oh, for the love of all that was holy! Gustavo and Kaure were due today. "Dammit! I forgot Gustavo was due today. I'll get rid of him and be right back." I darted out of the room and to the front door.

Of course, it wouldn't be quite that easy to get rid of Kaure. She insisted on leaving the dinner she'd made for us and coming inside for a moment to see Bella. She wasn't taking no for an answer. Defeated, I grunted in exasperation and led Kaure to the kitchen.

I walked back to Bella, standing in front of her as I wiped the tears from her cheeks. Maybe, if I was lucky, Kaure wouldn't have to see her. I leaned down and murmured in my love's ear. "She's insisting on leaving the food she brought—she made us dinner. It's an excuse—she wants to make sure I haven't killed you yet." Yet. That was the key word there.

Kaure came around the corner, setting the dish down and telling us to enjoy it.

I snapped at her, a little too harshly, telling her to leave. Hurt, she turned to go. The motion of her skirt twirling wafted the scent of the food in our direction, and Bella whirled to the sink again. It was a strong scent, onions and fish. It had made her sick. I put my hand on her forehead and murmured comforting words to her as she vomited in the sink. And then I realized that if I could make the smell go away, it might make her feel better, so I turned and grabbed the dish, putting it in the refrigerator, and then put my hands back on Bella's face.

I caressed the side of her face as she rinsed her mouth in the tap, and then pulled her close to me. Her hands folded around her stomach and she rested her head on my shoulder.

And then Kaure saw. She gasped, her eyes gaping wide, and extended her hands halfway, unable to speak. Her eyes zeroed in on Bella's stomach. She had heard the same legends Carlisle had. She knew what was growing inside Bella. I turned us so that Bella was behind me and stood protectively in front of her, keeping one hand across her torso.

And then Kaure was shouting at me, calling me a cold-hearted murderer. But I needed her to understand that I loved Bella. That I didn't mean for this to happen. I stepped toward her and told her how much I loved Bella, how irreversibly she had altered me, in a low, pleading voice.

And then she asked me the simple question. Was I a _Lobishomen_?

I nodded once, and she took a step back in fear.

I reached one hand toward her, gesturing to my angel with my other hand and then resting that hand on her neck. I assured her that I wouldn't hurt her, and tried to explain that I had never meant to hurt Bella.

Kaure screamed at me again, this time for being so careless as to not consider what having physical relations with a human could result in.

Did she possibly know something about what was growing inside Bella? I pleaded with her to tell me everything she knew.

She looked doubtful for a minute, still not completely sure of my affections for Bella. Not convinced that I would find some way to die if Bella ceased to exist. And then she mimed what looked like a balloon jutting out from her stomach and took a few steps forward, telling me that the thing had to be destroyed before it gained too much strength. She asked how long we'd been here and when I'd had relations with Bella. I answered her questions in brief, clipped sentences.

Then I asked her one simple question. Did the mothers ever survive in these legends?

She shook her head slowly.

I couldn't move again for a long moment. When I finally could, I pleaded with Kaure again, begging her to tell me if there was even the slightest hope for Bella. In response, she walked up to Bella and put her hand over Bella's hand, which was still resting on her stomach.

"Morte," she said, and then walked out. Dead. My Bella was going to die because of this thing I'd placed inside her.

I was frozen in place, until Bella started to move away from me. I couldn't be away from her for a single second of the precious little time we had left to us if Carlisle's procedure didn't work.

"Where are you going?" I asked her, and I didn't even try to keep the pain out of my voice.

"To brush my teeth again."

"Don't worry about what she said. It's nothing but legends, old lies for the sake of entertainment." I said that as much for my benefit as for hers.

"I didn't understand anything."

Of course she hadn't understood. We'd been speaking in Portuguese and Ticuna. I wasn't thinking straight now. What was I doing? Oh, yes. She wanted her toothbrush. "I packed your toothbrush. I'll get it for you."

I walked ahead of her to the bedroom.

"Are we leaving soon?" she called after me.

"As soon as you're done."

I waited for her as she brushed her teeth so I could repack her toothbrush, pacing around the bedroom. I was trying to convince myself that everything would be all right, that Carlisle would help me get this thing out of my Bella. How could I have done this? How could I have been so careless? I was a monster. A hideous, vile monster. Bella walked up to me and handed me her toothbrush a few minutes later, interrupting my thoughts.

"I'll get the bags into the boat," I told her, walking out with the trunks in my hand.

"Edward—"

I turned back to face my angel. "Yes?"

"Could you…pack some of the food? You know, in case I get hungry again."

"Of course," I said. Anything. Anything she wanted, I would give her now. "Don't worry about anything. We'll get to Carlisle in just a few hours, really. This will all be over soon."

She nodded weakly.

I turned and left the room, unable to move faster than at normal human speed. I carried the trunks down to the boat and then went back to get Bella. She was waiting in the doorway. I carried her slowly down to the boat, and then I raced us back to Rio as fast as we could possibly go.


	8. Prologue 2

Book 2

Agony

_A glooming peace this morning with it brings;  
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:  
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;  
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:  
For never was a story of more woe  
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.  
**-**_**William Shakespeare  
_Romeo and Juliet, _Act V, Scene III**

Prologue

Agony wasn't a strong enough word to describe the pain I felt right now. There were no words for what I was enduring. This was worse than any other pain I had ever been in. Worse than when I'd decided to leave her. Worse than while I was away from her. Worse, even, than when I'd thought she was dead.

This was worse because she really was dying now, and I was standing there operating on her, cutting her open, spilling her blood to save her life. And it was worse because it was my fault. If I hadn't been so careless, this would never have happened. My love would not be almost dead now if it weren't for me. If hadn't foolishly agreed to that damn honeymoon, this hell on earth wouldn't be happening now.

How had my life come to this? Why? My love had told my natural enemy, my rival for her affections, once that she felt that there was a purpose to all of this. What was it? Because I didn't see it, and neither did he. He, who loved her almost as much as I did. He, who had been hurt so deeply by her time and again and yet still came back to her at the times she most needed it. He, who was helping me keep her alive now while I got the cause for her condition out of her. For the millionth time, I was grateful for his presence in her life.

But then, with one look at the reason for my wife's condition, my outlook on everything changed. And I knew then that it had all been worth it. She had been right to want this, even though it had almost killed her. Now, looking in my child's eyes, my heart expanded. I didn't love my wife less; my heart just made room for both of them.


	9. 7 Resolve

7. Resolve

Bella was very quiet on the plane ride home. I just held her close and prayed to whatever god might listen to a soulless monster that she would be all right. She must be so frightened! And probably angry with me, too, for putting her through this. Of course, that was why she was so quiet. It made sense. So I just continued to hold her close, whispering words of love and comfort in her ear and kissing her, every part of her that I could reach, over and over again.

When we got to Seattle, my entire family was waiting for us. Of course. Most of them were thinking sympathetic thoughts for me. They could see already how tortured I was.

_How could I not have seen this?_ Alice was wondering. She looked like she would be crying, if such a thing were possible.

_It'll be all right, son. Everything's ready at the house. We'll get this thing out of her. It won't hurt her, _Carlisle assured me.

And then Bella ran straight into Rosalie's arms. _Rosalie's_. She hated Rosalie. For that matter, Rosalie hated her. Why would she run into Rosalie's arms?

It was only then that I paid attention to what Rosalie was thinking. _She won't survive this. She can't. And then, when she doesn't, I'll take the baby._

No.

No, no, no, no, no…

Bella was going to try to keep this monster. She didn't understand. It would kill her. It was too strong for her. She couldn't survive this pregnancy. Her heart could stop beating. And if her heart stopped beating, there was no amount of vampire venom that could save her.

I walked up and claimed Bella from Rosalie, but Rosalie stayed close to me. _You are _not _going to kill that baby._

Oh, wasn't I? We would just see about that. Bella was already getting worse. The bulge was becoming bigger. She looked five months pregnant already. How much longer did she have?

When we got back to the house, Bella, now with Rosalie on her side, vehemently opposed the procedure.

"Bella, love, this thing will kill you," I tried to plead with her, letting my agony ring in every word.

"No, I can do this. I know I won't survive this human, but I can keep my heart beating for long enough to have this baby."

Baby. No, this thing was not a baby. It was a monster. And it was going to kill my Bella if we allowed it to stay inside her.

I wanted to give Bella anesthesia and get the thing out. For that matter, so did Carlisle. But Rosalie complicated things. She growled at any of us who approached, threatening to kill us if we tried anything. Emmett, of course, was on whatever side his mate took. And Esme, who wanted a child so badly, was sympathetic to Bella's cause as well. And Bella was actually grateful for this. She wanted this thing badly enough that she was willing to die for it.

And so we finally gave in. There was nothing else to do. I would have to sit here and watch my Bella slowly die. This was agony, worse even than when I'd thought she was dead. I hadn't had to watch her die before. And before, it hadn't been my fault. This was my fault. I had put this thing inside her, and now it was killing her.

Over the next week, Bella got sicker and weaker. And I had to sit there and watch it. A couple more times, I tried to talk Carlisle into knocking Bella out with anesthetics and taking the thing out of her, but Carlisle wouldn't do it with Esme against it.

We called Charlie and told him that Bella had contracted some rare and extremely contagious disease in South America, and that she was quarantined now. He wanted to see her, but Carlisle was, of course, adamant in his decision not to let that happen. Bella was getting bigger and more pregnant by the day, and Charlie couldn't see that. Bella talked to him a few times, trying to assure him that she was still alive. Her voice got weaker every time she talked to him.

I wished there was some way to make Bella see reason. Someone who could talk to her and get her to understand. Someone who knew how she thought. Much as I loved Bella, and much as I'd tried to figure out what made her mind tick, I didn't know how she thought. Who did? Who would be able to convince her that this monster inside her would kill her if she didn't let us take it out?

After a week, I had my answer. I knew who could talk to her. Maybe she wouldn't give in, but a moment of doubt was all I needed. And I knew who could plant that seed of doubt. Someone I never thought in a million years that I would actually wish to see. Someone who connected to Bella on a level that even I didn't understand. Someone who was in love with her, too. Yes, that was who I needed now. I needed Jacob Black.

I wanted to call him, but I knew he would never answer the phone. I wanted to go to La Push myself and get him, but Bella's condition was changing so rapidly that I couldn't leave her for a single second. _Agony_ wasn't quite description enough for what I was going through every day. This was worse than agony. This felt like…like…I didn't even know. I felt like I was losing my mind slowly. I felt like I was dying, like I was burning alive.

And then, a few days after I'd thought of calling Jacob, I heard a motorcycle racing down the driveway. It was Jacob. And he was here to kill us. He thought Bella was immortal. How I wished that were the case. Or at least, how I wished she was as strong as one of us. She couldn't survive this.

"Jacob's here," I told Carlisle. "Can you go deal with him? He can't be allowed to see Bella. Not yet."

"Of course," Carlisle said, going to the door.

The dog came to the door. He was planning on killing me first, and then as many of us as he could before they took him down. But I wasn't ready to die yet. If Bella's heart stopped beating, if vampire venom couldn't save her, I would beg him to kill me. I would beg him to let me die a slow, painful death. But Bella needed me now. He had to see that, had to understand that. And I needed these last days, these last hours, with my love.

"Hello, Jacob," Carlisle said when Jacob reached the house. "How are you?"

_Why did Carlisle have to answer the door? I wanted Edward to come to the door. I don't want to think about killing Carlisle. He's just so…_human_ or something._ "I heard Bella made it back alive."

"Er, Jacob, it's not really the best time," Carlisle tried. "Could we do this later?"

_Are you actually asking me to postpone the death match for a more convenient time?_

"Why can't I see Jacob?" Bella asked Rosalie.

Rosalie. Bella's new best friend. I wanted to kill Rosalie. She didn't care about Bella. She didn't care that Bella was going to die. All she cared about now was saving that thing that was sucking Bella's life from her, that was starving her, not letting her get the nutrition she needed.

"Bella, he can't know about this. The pack can't know," Rosalie said, as if talking to a five-year-old.

"Why not?" Bella croaked. "Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too? What's the point?"

_Wait,_ Jacob thought. _Her voice sounds so rough. I can't remember…how did the newborns we fought in the clearing sound? All I can remember is snarling. Well, maybe all newborn vampires sound like that._

I wished. I wished that Bella being a vampire was the problem Jacob had to deal with. I wished it was anything but this. I couldn't stand being here. Watching my angel die. She was like a time bomb, ticking, wasting away more every minute.

"Come in, please, Jacob," Bella croaked more loudly, so he could hear.

_I don't know if I can keep him from her_, Carlisle thought to me.

And then I remembered that this was what I had hoped for. Jacob to see Bella, so that he could talk some sense into her.

_Is Bella thirsty_? "Excuse me," Jacob said, stepping around Carlisle. He was having trouble keeping his back to one of us, but he knew that Carlisle wouldn't hurt him. _I'll just stay away from Carlisle when the fight starts. There's enough of them to kill without including him._

Jacob sidestepped into the house and saw the six of us, all standing around Bella. And then he saw my face, and his eyes bugged out of his head and his jaw dropped. I could only imagine what I looked like right now.

And suddenly he understood. He'd enjoyed the thought of me in pain before, but he couldn't enjoy it now. Because he had guessed the cause. He knew there could only be one cause for the agony that was plain on my face now. Bella was the only one who could inspire this kind of agony in me.

For a long moment, as Jacob followed my eyes down to my angel, the girl he loved, the only thing he registered was that she was human. And then he really saw her. He saw her skin stretched tightly across her face, saw the hideous green color that the lack of nourishment had turned it. Saw her eyes bugging unnaturally out of her head. He saw that she was sick. Very sick. The story Charlie had told Billy had not been a lie.

Then, he registered something else. He saw how Rosalie was hovering over her, protecting her. _This is wrong. Bella doesn't like Rosalie. No, more than that…Bella's _afraid_ of Rosalie. But she's not scared now. She looks…apologetic or something._

Bella started to gag. Again. How could she possibly be vomiting so much when there was nothing inside her to come up? This thing wasn't letting her get the nourishment she needed. Rosalie grabbed a basin from the floor and held it up for Bella. She was violently sick. I fell to my knees by her side, and I was sure my agony was plain on my face. Rosalie held out her hand to me, warning me to keep back. Why? Why wouldn't Rosalie let me get close to my angel now? If I'd had a spare ounce of strength, I would have killed her. Who cared what it did to Emmett? That would make two of us that would be without our loves. Because Bella was going to die.

When she was finished, Bella lifted her head to smile at Jacob. "Sorry about that," she whispered.

I moaned quietly, my agony too great for me to be able to speak. My head fell against my love's knees, and she put her hand, her tiny, fragile, bony hand on my cheek.

Jacob walked forward, toward the girl he loved, in a daze. He didn't even realize what he was doing until Rosalie hissed at him and jumped between him and the couch.

"Rose, don't," Bella breathed. "It's fine."

Rosalie moved out of the way, although she hated to do it. She knew Jacob would take my side in this instance. She crouched by Bella's head, tensed to spring if Jacob tried anything.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Jacob whispered, falling to his knees. "Are you all right?" He reached for Bella's free hand and took it gingerly in both of his.

Couldn't he tell that she most definitely was not all right?

"I'm so glad you came to see me today, Jacob," Bella croaked.

I moaned again at the sound of her weak voice. Even she knew that she might not survive this. But it wasn't enough. There was some maternal instinct that had taken over in her, that overpowered all rational thought. She stroked my cheek, trying to soothe me.

"What is it, Bella?" Jacob whispered.

Bella glanced around the room, finally looking at her bodyguard. "Help me up, Rose?"

Rosalie bared her teeth at Jacob, wanting to rip his throat out for making Bella exert herself.

"Please, Rose," Bella said calmly.

Rosalie didn't like this, but she leaned over Bella, ignoring me, and put her arm carefully behind Bella's shoulders.

"No," Jacob whispered. "Don't get up…" _She looks so weak_.

"I'm answering your question," she snapped. This was the way she usually talked to him. Maybe she was trying to make him feel more comfortable, like she was trying with me.

Bella stood up, but I couldn't move, couldn't stay up. I just sagged forward until my face was buried in the cushions.

It took Jacob a few seconds, but he finally understood. _No, it's not possible. I just saw her a month ago. There's no way she could be pregnant. Not _that_ pregnant. But she is._

He tried not to think of it, tried not to imagine how it had happened. He didn't want to know that I, who he hated so much, had been inside the body he loved, had planted my seed there. He wasn't jealous. He was trying to be in denial. I couldn't fault him for that. I wished I could be in denial. I didn't want to know it, either. I didn't want to know that I had caused this. My Bella was dying and it was my fault, because I had foolishly agreed to make love with her while she was still human. This past month, which had, at the time, been the best month of my existence, was now the worst.

_This thing…it's taking Bella's life to feed its own. Because it's a monster. Just like its father. I always knew he would kill her._

That was what made my head snap up. I stood up, towering over Jacob, who was still on his knees. "Outside, Jacob," I snarled.

He got to his feet, and now he was towering over me. _This is why I'm here._ "Let's do this."

Emmett and Jasper moved to follow me. Jasper could sense the tension radiating from Jacob, but he made no effort to stop it. Just like he'd made no effort to calm me the entire time we'd been back home. He and Alice were in almost as much pain as I was. They loved Bella like a sister, and they couldn't stand watching her die like this any more than I could.

_I wonder if the pack will clean up the scraps when they finish me off_, Jacob thought. And then he saw Esme and Alice in the corner. _They're so small and…feminine. Well, I'm sure the rest of them will kill me before I have to deal with those two. I don't want to kill girls. Even vampire girls. Although I might make an exception for that blonde._

That made two of us. I constantly warred with my desire to kill Rosalie. But I knew it would upset Bella, and stress made her worse.

"No," Bella gasped, reaching to clutch my arm.

"I just need to talk to him, Bella," I said softly, stroking her cheek.

That made Jacob see fire. _After all he's done to her, he's still allowed to touch her like that?_

"Don't strain yourself," I continued, still talking to my angel. "Please rest. We'll both be back in just a few minutes."

She stared at my face, reading it. I assumed looking for any sign that I was going to fight Jacob. But I didn't want to fight him. No, I wanted to convince him to talk to her. Finding no sign of violence in my face, she sank back down onto the couch, and Rosalie helped her lie back down.

Then Bella looked at Jacob. "Behave. And then come back."

_I'm not making any promises today_, he thought.

I led Jacob out of the house and down the driveway, trying to get out of earshot of my family.

_Separating him from the coven wasn't so difficult, was it? He's not looking back. Well, he doesn't need to look to know when I'm going to attack him. He'll be able to read it in my thoughts. I'll have to make the decision very quickly._

"I'm not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob Black," I whispered as I walked. "You'll have to have a little patience."

_Like I care about your schedule_. "Patience isn't my specialty," he growled.

When I was sure my family could no longer hear, I stopped and turned to face him.

I wondered what he saw on my face. I could only imagine what I looked like. Because whatever Jacob saw there made him stop cold in his tracks, all traces of the fury he'd felt earlier gone.

_I'm a kid. Just a kid who's lived in the same small town for my entire life. Just a child. I'll have to live a lot more, suffer a lot more, to ever understand the agony in his eyes right now._

Now that I knew Bella couldn't see me, I guessed I could let some of the agony show. Maybe it would help my case. I raised my hand to my face, scraping my fingers against it. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out.

_This is the face a man would have if he were burning at the stake._ "It's killing her, right? She's dying," Jacob said, his own agony plain on his face. _My face has to be a watered-down echo of his. Weaker, because I'm still in shock. This is happening too fast. But I've already lost her so many times, in so many ways. This is different, though. She's not mine to lose. And it's different because this isn't my fault._

"My fault," I managed to whisper. My knees gave out, and I fell to the ground.

Jacob knew that he could kill me easily now if he wanted to. I was the easiest, most vulnerable target imaginable. But the fire he had felt earlier was gone. He felt cold.

"Yes," I groaned into the dirt. "Yes, it's killing her."

_I want a fight, not an execution! Where's your smug superiority now?_

Gone. I should have made her choose him. If she were pregnant with his child, this wouldn't be happening.

"So why hasn't Carlisle done anything?" Jacob growled. "He's a doctor, right? Get it out of her."

I looked up and answered him in exhaustion. "She won't let us."

It took a minute for the words to sink in. _Jeez, she's running true to form. Of course, die for the monster spawn. It's so _Bella.

"You know her well," I whispered. "How quickly you see…I didn't see. Not in time. She wouldn't talk to me on the way home, not really. I thought she was frightened—that would be natural. I thought she was angry with me for putting her through this, for endangering her life. Again. I never imagined what she was really thinking, what she was _resolving_. Not until my family met us at the airport and she ran right into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie's! And then I heard what Rosalie was thinking. I didn't understand until I heard that. Yet _you_ understand after one second…" I groaned weakly.

"Just back up a second. She won't _let_ you," Jacob said acidly. "Did you ever notice that she's exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten-pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs."

"I wanted to," I whispered. "Carlisle would have…"

_What, too noble, are you?_

"No. Not noble." Not noble if it would have meant saving my Bella. I would have boiled live puppies and sacrificed human beings alive if it meant saving my Bella. "Her bodyguard complicated things."

_Oh, so that's what Blondie's up to. What's in it for her? Does the beauty queen want Bella to die so bad?_

"Maybe," I said. Not necessarily that Rosalie wanted Bella to die. She just wanted Bella's child. "Rosalie doesn't look at it quite that way."

"So take the blonde out first. Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into a jigsaw and take care of Bella."

That actually wasn't a bad idea. But Rosalie was not the only one on Bella's side. "Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us…and Carlisle won't help me with Esme against it…" I trailed off.

"You should have left Bella with me."

"Yes." Yes, I should have. It would have killed me, but it would have been more bearable than this.

_But it's a bit late for that. Maybe you should have thought of all this _before_ you knocked her up with the life-sucking monster._

I stared up at Jacob from inside my own personal hell, agreeing with him. "We didn't know," I breathed. "I never dreamed. There's never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know that a human was able to conceive a child with one of us—"

"When the human should get ripped to shreds in the process?"

"Yes," I agreed in a tense whisper. "They're out there, the sadistic ones, the incubus, the succubus. They exist. But the seduction is merely a prelude to the feast. No one _survives_." I shook my head, repulsed by the creatures. I was ashamed to be breathing the same air as them.

_Like you're any different. _"I didn't realize they had a special name for what you are," Jacob spat.

I stared up at him again, pleading.

_His face looks a thousand years old._

"Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself," I told him.

_Wrong._

"Killing me now doesn't save her," I said quietly. I knew that was what Jacob really wanted. Not to kill me, but to save the girl he loved.

"So what does?"

Would he do this for me? Would he try to talk her out of keeping this monster inside her? "Jacob, you have to do something for me."

"The _hell_ I do, parasite!"

Of course he wouldn't do anything for me. "For her?"

He clenched his teeth together. "I did everything I could to keep her away from you. Every single thing. It's too late."

"You know her, Jacob," I pleaded. "You connect to her on a level that I don't even understand. You are part of her, and she is part of you. She won't listen to me, because she thinks I'm underestimating her. She thinks she's strong enough for this…" I choked and then swallowed. "She might listen to you."

"Why would she?"

And then it dawned on me. I didn't care about anything but keeping Bella alive. And if we got this thing out of her, she could have children again. If she wanted children, she could have children. And she loved Jacob. Not as much as she loved me, I knew that. But maybe enough to have a child with him, if she wanted it so badly. I lurched to my feet.

_Is he going crazy? Can vampires lose their minds?_

"Maybe," I said, answering his thought. "I don't know. It feels like it." I shook my head. "I have to try to hide this in front of her, because stress makes her more ill. She can't keep anything down as it is. I have to be composed; I can't make it harder. But that doesn't matter now. She has to listen to you!"

"I can't tell her anything you haven't. What do you want me to do? Tell her she's stupid? She probably already knows that. Tell her she's going to die? I bet she knows that, too."

I choked the words out. "You can offer her what she wants."

_He's not making sense. Part of the crazy?_

"I don't care about anything but keeping her alive," I said, focused now. "If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants." I paused for a beat, repulsed by what I was about to suggest. "She can have puppies, if that's what it takes."

His scowl crumbled as he realized what I was telling him and his jaw dropped in shock.

"But not this way!" I hissed before he could answer. "Not this _thing_ that's sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it _hurting _her." I sucked in a breath as I remembered seeing bruises appear on her stomach where the monster was kicking her. "You _have_ to make her see reason, Jacob. She won't listen to me anymore. Rosalie's always there, feeding her insanity—encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting _it_. Bella's life means nothing to her."

Jacob choked in surprise. _What's he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby? With _me_? What? How? Is he giving her up? Or does he think she won't mind being shared?_

"Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive."

"That's the craziest thing you've said yet."

"She loves you," I reminded him.

"Not enough."

"She's ready to die to have a child. Maybe she'd accept something less extreme."

"Don't you know her at all?"

He was right. This was Bella we were talking about. The most stubborn person alive. "I know, I know. It's going to take a lot of convincing. That's why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense."

_I can't think about this. It's too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? So messed up…So tempting._

And then his fantasies returned. But, for once, I wasn't repulsed by them. I didn't care. But now a new image came, too. One Jacob knew that, by all rights, should never have existed for him. One he wouldn't have suffered over for years if I hadn't placed it in his head. Bella pregnant, healthy and glowing, round with his child. Not in a distorted, monstrous way like she was now. In a natural way.

He tried to escape his thoughts. He didn't want to have them. I had misjudged him. He really was a decent kid.

"Make _Bella_ see sense?" he asked, desperate to make his visions disappear. "What universe do you live in?"

"At least try," I begged.

He shook his head, but his thoughts were conflicted. He wanted so much to keep her alive. Finally, he answered. "Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?"

Yes, basically. "I've been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didn't know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn't listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn't come today. But it's hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition…it changes so fast. The thing is…growing. Swiftly. I can't be away from her now."

"What _is_ it?"

"None of us have any idea. But it is stronger than she is. Already." That wasn't entirely true, but in this case, I thought it was best to lie to Jacob. It wouldn't help my case if I told him what this thing really was.

And then he saw it, the monster swelling, breaking Bella, the girl we both loved, from the inside out.

"Help me stop it," I whispered. "Help me stop this from happening."

"_How?_ By offering my stud services?" I didn't flinch when he said that. I couldn't. But he did. "You're really sick. She'll never listen to this."

"Try. There's nothing to lose now. How will it hurt?"

_It'll hurt me. Haven't I taken enough rejection from Bella without this?_

"A little pain to save her? Is it such a high cost?" Didn't he realize how much pain it would cause me if he managed to convince her to do what I was suggesting?

"But it won't work."

"Maybe not. Maybe it will confuse her, though. Maybe she'll falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need."

"And then you'll pull the rug out from under the offer? 'Just kidding, Bella'?"

"If she wants a child, that's what she gets. I won't rescind."

_I can't believe I'm even thinking about this. Bella will punch me. Not that I care about that, but she'll break her hand again. I shouldn't let him talk with me, mess with my head. I should just kill him now._

"Not now," I whispered. "Not yet. Right or wrong, it would destroy her, and you know it. No need to be hasty. If she won't listen to you, you'll get your chance. The moment Bella's heart stops beating, I will be begging for you to kill me."

"You won't have to beg long."

I smiled weakly. "I'm very much counting on that."

"Then we have a deal," Jacob said.

I nodded and held out my hand. Swallowing his disgust for me, Jacob took my hand, shaking it once.

"We have a deal," I agreed.


	10. 8 Plea

8. Plea

_I feel like—like I don't know what. Like this isn't real. Like I'm in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I'm the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire's wife to shack up and procreate. Nice. No, I can't do it. I won't. It's twisted and wrong. I'm going to forget all about what Edward just said. But I will talk to her. I'll try to get her to listen to me. And she won't. Just like always._

I didn't comment on Jacob's thoughts as we walked back to the house. Some part of me knew that Jacob was right. What I was asking him to do was wrong. It was wrong to suggest that to Bella, wrong to ask Jacob to endure this kind of pain, wrong, wrong, wrong.

And this was Bella we were talking about. When did Bella ever listen to anyone when she wanted something? If she'd listened to me or Jacob when she wanted something, like, oh, for instance, our honeymoon, this wouldn't even be happening. She would be a vampire right now, and we would be... I didn't know. But I did know that I would not be here, enduring the…the agony of watching her slowly waste away as the monster I had placed inside her took her life to feed its own.

No, Bella never listened to anyone. And my logical mind told me that she wouldn't listen to her best friend now. But I had to try. If there was a chance it would save my angel, I had to try.

My family's eyes were suspicious when we walked through the door. Good. They hadn't heard us. Jacob hesitated in the open doorway, breathing some fresh air. Air that didn't smell like vampire. He wasn't really sure what to do now, what to say. How to do what I had asked him to do.

I walked through my family to the middle of the huddle, where Bella lay on the couch, with Rosalie still standing protectively over her with one hand possessively resting on her cheek. Her face turned pale from the stress that was emanating from me and from Jacob.

"We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately," I said in a robotic voice.

"Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie hissed. _He'll try to convince her to kill the baby._

I didn't look at Bella's bodyguard. "Bella," I said in the same monotone as before. "Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?"

Bella looked at Jacob, confused. And then she looked at her bodyguard again.

"Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward."

"It might be a trick," Rosalie said defensively.

"I don't see how," Bella said.

Of course she didn't see how, because she didn't realize that I was capable of being this selfish. Of asking Jacob to hurt himself this much so I wouldn't have to lose her.

"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie," I said in an ice cold voice. "We're the ones she's afraid of."

"No," Bella whispered, and she started to cry. "No, Edward, I'm not…"

I shook my head, smiling at my dying wife. "I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine," I lied. If there was one thing I was not, it was fine. "Don't worry about me."

_Sickening_, Jacob thought. _He's right—she's beating herself up about hurting his feelings. This girl is a classic martyr. She was totally born in the wrong century. She should have lived back when she could have gotten herself fed to some lions for a good cause._

Jacob was right. Bella was a martyr. And I knew then that nothing Jacob would say would make one ounce of difference to Bella.

"Everyone," I said, motioning stiffly toward the door. "Please." I tried to keep my composure for Bella's sake, but I was close to what Jacob had dubbed as "the burning man." That was his name for the expression that had been on my face when we were outside. What an apt description.

Everyone saw that I was about to lose it, so they all walked silently out of the room and out the door. Everyone, that is, except for Rosalie. She hesitated in the middle of the room. She'd guessed what I'd asked Jacob to do and to say she wasn't thrilled would have been the understatement of the century.

"Rose," Bella said quietly. "I want you to go."

Rosalie glared at me and gestured for me to go first. I did, and she followed me. Of course, we all stayed close by, watching and listening to the conversation.

_Did you ask him to talk to Bella?_ Carlisle asked me silently.

I turned and nodded once to him.

_I hope he can talk some sense into her. This is agonizing. I don't know what to do for her anymore._

I nodded again. Agonizing didn't even begin to cover it.

Jacob crossed the room and took Bella's hands in his, rubbing them carefully, trying to warm them.

"Thanks, Jake," Bella whispered. "That feels good."

"I'm not going to lie, Bells," he said, trying desperately to keep his composure. "You're hideous."

"I know," she sighed. "I'm scary-looking."

"Thing-from-the-swamp scary."

Bella laughed weakly. "It's so good having you here. It feels nice to smile. I don't know how much more drama I can stand."

Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay. I bring it on myself."

"Yeah, you do," Jacob said, an edge in his voice. "What're you thinking, Bells? Seriously!"

"Did he ask you to yell at me?"

"Sort of. Though I can't figure why he thinks you'd listen to me. You never have before."

She sighed.

"I told you—" Jacob began.

"Did you know that '_I told you so_' has a brother, Jacob? His name is '_Shut the hell up_'."

"Good one," he said lifelessly.

She grinned, and it looked scary. Her skin stretched tight over her bones. "I can't take credit—I got it off a rerun of _The Simpsons_."

"Missed that one."

"It was funny."

It was silent for a minute. Jacob still didn't know what to say, and he was cursing me silently for making him do this.

"Did he really ask you to talk to me?" Bella finally asked.

Jacob nodded. "To talk some sense into you. _There's_ a battle that's lost before it starts."

He was right. This was a lost battle. I would have to watch the reason for my existence die, because nothing anyone could say would change her mind.

"So why did you agree?" Bella asked.

Jacob didn't answer. He wasn't sure he knew. But he did know that every second he spent with Bella now would only make it harder for him when she died, or when she became a vampire. He was right again. I shouldn't have asked him to do this. Shouldn't have asked him to endure this kind of pain.

"It'll work out, you know," Bella whispered after another minute of silence. "I believe that."

Jacob saw red again. "Is dementia one of your symptoms?"

Apparently it was.

She laughed again, although Jacob was one hundred percent serious. "Maybe," she said. "I'm not saying things will work out _easily_, Jake. But how could I have lived through all that I've lived through and not believe in magic by this point?"

Magic? What on earth was she talking about?

Jacob was just as confused as I was. "_Magic?_"

"Especially for you," Bella said, smiling. She pulled one of her hands out of his grasp and put it on his cheek. "More than anyone else, you've got some magic waiting to make things right for you."

"What are you babbling about?"

She was still smiling. "Edward told me once what it was like—your imprinting thing. He said it was like _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, like magic. You'll find who you're really looking for, Jacob, and maybe then all of this will make sense."

What was she saying? Jacob imprinting on someone would make everything right? Yes, dementia was definitely one of her symptoms.

Jacob agreed with me. He felt like screaming, but Bella looked so fragile that it made him stop. But he did growl at her. "If you think that imprinting could ever make sense of this _insanity_..." He struggled to find words to go with his anger. "Do you really think that just because I might someday imprint on some stranger it would make this right?" He jabbed a finger toward her swollen belly. "Tell me what the point was then, Bella! What was the point of me loving you? What was the point of _you_ loving _him_? When you die"—the words were a snarl—"how is that ever right again? What's the point to all the pain? Mine, yours, his! You'll kill him, too, not that I care about that." She flinched, but Jacob kept going. "So what was the point of your twisted love story, in the end? If there is _any_ sense, please show me, Bella, because I don't see it."

Yes, she should show him. And show me, too, for that matter. If Bella died, there was no point to anything anymore. And she knew it would kill me. Why was she doing this to herself, to me, to Jacob, to Carlisle, to Alice, to Jasper, to Esme, to Emmett? To everyone who loved her. It didn't make sense. There was nothing that could make sense of this insanity.

Bella sighed. "I don't know yet, Jake. But I just…feel…that this is all going somewhere good, hard to see as it is now. I guess you could call it _faith_."

Oh, she _felt_ that it was going somewhere good, so she was going to die for _faith_? For a _feeling_? Now I saw red. I wasn't angry at her, of course. How could I be angry at my Bella now? No, I was angry at that _thing_ growing inside her.

Jacob saw red, too. "You're dying for _nothing_, Bella! Nothing!"

She dropped the hand that she'd had on Jacob's face to her unnaturally bloated stomach.

_She's dying for _it, Jacob thought simply. He was in agony. I should never have made him do this. It wasn't doing any good anyway.

"I'm not going to die," she said through her teeth, for the umpteenth time. "I _will_ keep my heart beating. I'm strong enough for that."

"That's a load of crap, Bella. You've been trying to keep up with the supernatural for too long. No normal person can do it. You're _not_ strong enough." Jacob took her face in his hand, not having to remind himself to be gentle.

"I can do this. I can do this," Bella muttered.

_She sounds a lot like that kids' book about the little engine that could._ "Doesn't look like it to me. So what's your plan? I hope you have one."

She nodded, not meeting Jacob's eyes. "Did you know Esme jumped off a cliff? When she was human, I mean."

_What does that have to do with anything?_ "So?"

"So she was close enough to dead that they didn't even bother taking her to the emergency room—they took her right around to the morgue. Her heart was still beating, though, when Carlisle found her…"

_Oh, so that's what she meant about keeping her heart beating._ "You're not planning on surviving this human."

"No. I'm not stupid." She met Jacob's eyes then. "I guess you probably have your own opinion on that point, though."

"Emergency vampirization," he mumbled.

"It worked for Esme. And Emmett, and Rosalie, and even Edward. None of them were in such great shape. Carlisle only changed them because it was that or death. He doesn't end lives, he saves them."

Jacob felt a twinge of guilt for thinking so poorly of my father. And then he shoved the thought away and resorted to begging. "Listen to me, Bells. Don't do it that way." _I need you to stay alive in some form. In any form._ He took a deep breath before continuing. "Don't wait until it's too late, Bella. Not that way. Live. Okay? Just live. Don't do this to me. Don't do it to him. You know what he's going to do when you die. You've seen it before. You want him to go back to those Italian killers?" _Of course, that won't be necessary this time._

Bella cringed into the sofa.

"Remember when I got mangled up by those newborns?" Jacob asked in a softer voice. "What did you tell me?"

Bella had told Jacob to be good and listen to Carlisle. Judging by the way she pursed her lips, she remembered. But she didn't answer.

"You told me to be good and listen to Carlisle," Jacob reminded her. "And what did I do? I listened to the vampire. For you."

"You listened because it was the right thing to do."

"Okay—pick either reason."

Bella took a deep breath. "It's not the right thing now." She looked at her bulging stomach. "I won't kill him."

Jacob's hands started shaking, but I knew he wouldn't phase. "Oh, I hadn't heard the great news. A bouncing baby boy, huh? Shoulda brought some blue balloons."

Bella blushed, and Jacob's pain became more pronounced as he saw the beautiful color her cheeks turned. He knew he was going to lose the fight. Again.

"I don't know he's a boy," she said sheepishly. "The ultrasound wouldn't work. The membrane around the baby is too hard—like their skin. So he's a little mystery. But I always see a boy in my head."

"It's not some pretty baby in there, Bella," Jacob said, his voice shaking.

"We'll see," she said smugly.

"_You_ won't," he snarled.

"You're very pessimistic, Jacob. There is definitely a chance that I might walk away from this."

_Might_. She _might_ walk away. I was so sad, so confused, so angry, so anguished right now. I wanted to break something.

Jacob looked down and breathed deep and slow, trying to get a grip on himself. He started crying.

"Jake," Bella whispered, patting his hair and stroking his cheek. "It's going to be okay. Shh. It's okay."

He didn't look at her. "No. It will not be okay."

She wiped some tears from his cheek. "Shh."

"What's the deal, Bella?" he asked, staring at the carpet. "I thought the whole point was that you wanted your vampire more than anything. And now you're just giving him up? That doesn't make any sense. Since when are you so desperate to be a mom? If you wanted that so much, why did you marry a vampire?"

All very valid points. Things I'd wanted to ask her myself. But I never did, because I knew it would upset her. Jacob didn't seem to care about upsetting her now.

And he was very close to making her the offer I'd suggested before. He saw the words taking him there, but he couldn't stop it, although he didn't want to do it.

Bella sighed. "It's not like that. I didn't really care about having a baby. I didn't even think about it. It's not just having a baby. It's…well…_this_ baby."

Of course it was. It was the fact that it was mine. That made sense now. Well, at least some part of this made sense, then. But it still didn't make it right. Nothing could make this right, nothing could make it worth her keeping this monster.

"It's a killer, Bella," Jacob said. "Look at yourself."

"He's not. It's me. I'm just weak and human. But I can tough this out, Jake, I can—"

"Aw, _come on_! Shut up, Bella. You can spout this crap to your bloodsucker, but you're not fooling me. You know you're not going to make it."

She glared at her friend. "I do not _know_ that. I'm worried about it, sure."

"_Worried_ about it," Jacob repeated through clenched teeth.

She gasped and clutched at her stomach. It had moved again, giving her another bruise.

"I'm fine," she panted. "It's nothing."

But her hands had pulled her sweatshirt to the side and Jacob stared, horrified, at the skin it exposed. Bella's stomach looked like it was stained with big splotches of purple and blue. The thing was bruising her, hurting her, every time it moved. And I had to sit there watching it, helpless, unable to do anything.

Bella saw Jacob's stare and quickly re-covered her stomach. "He's strong, that's all," she said defensively.

Jacob nearly gagged. _Now I see what he meant about watching it hurt her_. He felt a little crazy himself. He couldn't take this any more than I could. "Bella," he choked out. "Bella, don't do this."

She looked up, still panting, confused.

"Jake—"

And that was it. That was what convinced him to make the offer I'd pleaded with him to make. "Listen to me," he said. "Don't get your back up yet. Okay? Just listen. What if…?"

"What if what?" she asked suspiciously.

"What if this wasn't a one-shot deal? What if it wasn't all or nothing? What if you just listened to Carlisle like a good girl, and kept yourself alive?"

"I won't—"

"I'm not done yet. So you stay alive. Then you can start over. This didn't work out. Try again."

Bella frowned, and reached out and touched Jacob's furrowed brow. "I don't understand…What do you mean, try again? You can't think Edward would let me…? And what difference would it make? I'm sure any baby—"

"Yes," Jacob snapped. "Any kid _of his_ would be the same."

Her face got more confused. She really could be quite dense at times. "What?"

_No. I can't say any more. There's no point. I can't save her from herself. I never could._

And then Bella blinked, and she got it. "Oh. Ugh. _Please_, Jacob. You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute? Artificial insemination?" She was mad now. "Why would I want to have some stranger's baby? I suppose it just doesn't make a difference? Any baby will do?"

"I didn't mean that," Jacob muttered, embarrassed. "Not a stranger."

Bella leaned forward. "Then what are you saying?"

_No. I can't do it._ "Nothing. I'm saying nothing. Same as ever."

"Where did that come from?"

"Forget it, Bella."

She frowned suspiciously. "Did _he_ tell you to say that?"

He hesitated. _Wow, she made that leap pretty quickly._ "No."

"He did, didn't he?"

"No, really. He didn't say anything about artificial whatever."

Bella's face softened and she sank back against the pillows. She looked exhausted. I was surprised Rosalie didn't go in there and try to kill Jacob, but Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett were all restraining her.

"He would do anything for me," Bella whispered. "And I'm hurting him so much…But what is he thinking? That I would trade this"—she ran her hand across her bloated stomach—"for some stranger's…" she trailed off, crying. She didn't want to hurt me. But she wanted to have my child. Only it wasn't a child. It was a life-sucking monster.

"You don't have to hurt him," Jacob whispered. He didn't want to beg for me, but he knew it was probably the best angle to go from, though it was still a thousand-to-one odds. "You could make him happy again, Bella. And I really think he's losing it. Honestly, I do."

I _was_ losing it. I was losing my mind slowly, watching that thing I'd put inside my sweet Bella's body hurting her, killing her, starving her.

Bella didn't speak. She just traced circles on her stomach with her hands. It was quiet for a long time.

_I wonder if the Cullens are close by. Are they listening to my pathetic attempts to reason with Bella?_

Actually, Jacob was doing a fantastic job. I hoped that, someday, I could find some way to repay him for at least trying.

And then Bella spoke again. She was suspicious now. "Not a stranger?"

Jacob flinched. He knew she'd made the connection.

"What exactly did Edward say to you?" she asked.

"Nothing. He just thought you might listen to me."

"Not that. About trying again." She held his gaze, and I could tell she knew exactly what I'd said to him.

"Nothing," Jacob mumbled.

Bella's mouth fell open in shock. "Wow. He really would do _anything_, wouldn't he?" she whispered.

Yes, yes I would do anything. Anything to keep my Bella alive.

"I told you he was going crazy. Literally, Bells."

"I'm surprised you didn't tell on him right away. Get him in trouble." She grinned.

He tried to grin back, but it was a mangled look of pain. "Thought about it."

She knew what Jacob and I were offering, but she wouldn't take it. I had known she wouldn't.

And so had Jacob, but it still hurt him.

"There isn't much you wouldn't do for me, either, is there?" she asked him. "I really don't know why you bother. I don't deserve either of you."

No, she had that backwards. It was we who didn't deserve her. Especially me. After what Jacob had done today, he might possibly deserve her. But I didn't. I was a monster, a selfish, reprehensible monster. I didn't deserve to have Bella love me the way she did or even love me at all.

"It makes no difference, though, does it?" Jacob asked.

"Not this time," Bella whispered. "I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand. I can't hurt him"—she pointed to her stomach—"any more than I could pick up a gun and shoot you. I love him."

"Why do you always have to love the wrong things, Bella?"

Another fantastic question that I was sure I would never get an answer to. Why _did_ she love the wrong things? She loved creatures in the supernatural world, and it had put her in mortal danger, time and again.

"I don't think I do," she answered.

Jacob cleared the lump out of his throat. "Trust me," he said in a hard voice. He started to get to his feet.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked.

"I'm not doing any good here."

She held out her fragile hand, pleading. "Don't go."

Jacob compared Bella to an addictive drug, and he could feel his addiction to her sucking at him, trying to keep him here. But he had to leave. He had to quit so it wouldn't cause him more pain. "I don't belong here. I've got to get back."

"Why did you come here today?" she asked, still reaching for him.

"Just to see if you were really alive. I didn't believe you were sick, like Charlie said."

The look on her face told me she didn't buy it. "Will you come back again? Before…"

"I'm not going to hang around and watch you die, Bella."

She flinched. "You're right, you're right. You _should_ go."

Jacob headed for the door.

"Bye," she whispered. "Love you, Jake."

Jacob wanted to go back and start pleading again. _No, I've got to quit Bella. Quit her cold turkey before she kills me, like she's going to kill him._ "Sure, sure," he said as he walked out the door.

And that was it. She was going to die. My last hope for keeping her alive, the last thing I could try, had failed.


	11. 9 Danger

9. Danger

Bella was getting worse by the minute. Just in the last day, she'd grown and she now looked like she was another month pregnant. The thing inside her was still hurting her. I didn't know how much more of this I could stand. Honestly, I didn't. And, what was worse, she still wasn't keeping down any form of sustenance. Not food or juice, or even water. I didn't know what to do for her. Carlisle didn't know what to do for her. We couldn't take this.

Carlisle brought a hospital bed down to the main room and, after much resistance from Rosalie, got Bella to get on it and try to get nutrition intravenously. He'd hooked her up to a bunch of monitors to keep track of her vitals, as well. Rosalie had hissed and snarled about it, but eventually realized that this might be the only way to get Bella any form of nutrition. To inject it directly into her bloodstream. Not that she actually cared about Bella getting the nutrition, but Bella getting the nutrition would mean the baby living.

This was sickening. It was maddening. How much more could I take? How much weaker would my love get? Would she be able to keep her heart beating long enough for the venom to work? I fervently prayed for it. What I had once dreaded, I now hoped for. I hoped more than anything that Bella would one day be one of us. Because that would at least mean she was alive in some form. I had wanted her to stay human so she could keep her soul. But if she were a vampire, soul or no soul, she would at least be alive.

It was later that night, when I was fighting very hard not to become the burning man, as Jacob called it, in front of my love, that I heard two different minds, neither of them minds I expected to hear.

_Maybe we should be thinking something like, "We come in peace," _came Seth Clearwater's thoughts.

_Go for it, _Jacob told him.

_Edward?_ Seth called tentatively. _Edward, you there? Okay, now I feel kinda stupid._

_You sound stupid, too,_ Jacob thought.

_Think he can hear us?_

_I think so. Hey, Edward. If you can hear me—circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You've got a problem._

We've_ got a problem_, Seth corrected.

What was going on? Why was Jacob back? And Seth. Why was he here? Bella was, thankfully, asleep, so I rushed to the door to see what was happening, grabbing Emmett and Jasper on the way.

We were all standing on the front porch when they broke through the trees.

"Jacob? Seth? What's going on?" I asked.

Jacob and Seth let me see two different angles of the same conversation among the wolf pack after Jacob had left the house this afternoon. Jacob ran through it backward. Apparently Jacob had finally claimed his rightful status as the Alpha, but not of Sam's pack. He had left on his own. Why? Because Sam had decided to lead the pack here to attack us, because of Bella. Because Bella was pregnant with my…thing. My monster. And they were going to come here to kill all of us, even Bella. They called the thing an "abomination." And they had their own plan to deal with it. They were going to kill Bella, and, in so doing, kill the thing.

Also, apparently separate packs—for that was what Jacob and Seth had become: their own pack—were not linked. So Jacob and Seth would have no warning when the pack decided to attack besides their senses of hearing and smell.

I hissed and leapt off the porch. "They want to kill Bella?" I snarled.

Emmett and Jasper, not having heard Seth and Jacob's story, were right next to me in an instant, teeth bared, ready to attack these wolves who had just broken off from their pack to defend us.

_Hey now,_ Seth thought, backing away.

"Em, Jazz—not _them_! The others. The pack is coming," I told them.

Emmett and Jasper backed away. Emmett turned to me, while Jasper, still suspicious of Seth and Jacob, kept his eyes locked on them.

"What's _their_ problem?" Emmett demanded.

"The same one as mine," I hissed. "But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now."

Jacob whined uneasily. _They _are_ separated._

"They aren't far," I assured him in a lifeless voice.

_I'm going to go take a look,_ Seth said. _Run the western perimeter._

These two wolves had braved so much for us tonight. I didn't want them to put themselves in harm's way, especially not when the harm was coming from their friends and brothers, and, in Seth's case, his own sister. "Will you be in danger, Seth?" I asked him.

Seth and Jacob looked at each other, thinking about it.

_Don't think so,_ they thought together.

And then Jacob added, _But maybe I should go. Just in case…_

_They'll be less likely to challenge me_, Seth told us. _I'm just a kid to them._

_You're just a kid to me, kid._

_I'm outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullens._

Seth turned around and darted into the darkness so he could make the rounds.

Jacob and I looked at each other, neither of us saying anything. Emmett quickly dialed Carlisle's number and told him what was happening. Jasper was still staring, disbelieving, at the spot where Seth had vanished from. Alice uneasily came to join him. Rosalie was, of course, still inside with Bella. Still guarding her—from the wrong dangers.

"This isn't the first time I've owed you my gratitude, Jacob," I whispered to the russet wolf standing in front of me. "I would never have asked for this from you."

And then he thought of what I had asked from him earlier. When it came to Bella, he knew there were no lines I wouldn't cross. _Yeah, you would._

I thought about that. He was right. There was nothing I wouldn't do for my Bella, no matter what the cost to anyone else was. "I suppose you're right about that."

Jacob sighed. _Well, this isn't the first time that I didn't do it for you._

"Right," I murmured. I knew that. He hated me with a fiery passion. But he loved Bella enough that if protecting her meant protecting us, too, he would do it. And, once again, I was very grateful for his presence in her life, and for the fact that he was in love with her.

_Sorry I didn't do any good today,_ he told me. _Told you she wouldn't listen to me._

"I know. I never really believed she would. But…"

_You had to try. I get it. She any better?_

My voice was lifeless again. "Worse," I breathed.

Jacob didn't want to comprehend what I'd just told him.

"Jacob, would you mind switching forms?" Alice asked. "I want to know what's going on."

Jacob shook his head at the same time I answered. "He needs to stay linked to Seth."

"Well, then would _you_ be so kind as to tell me what's happening?" My favorite sister's voice was thick with worry.

I spoke in a flat voice. "The pack thinks Bella's become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the…from what she's carrying. They feel it's their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight."

Alice hissed, leaning away from Jacob and looking through the trees. She was worried sick about her new sister-in-law and even more worried because she wouldn't be able to see the danger since the wolves were involved.

Emmett and Jasper exchanged a glance and looked through the trees for any signs of the pack, too.

_Nobody out here,_ Seth thought, still running the perimeter. _All's quiet on the western front._

_They may go around_, Jacob told him.

_I'll make a loop._

"Carlisle and Esme are on their way," Emmett told me. "Twenty minutes, tops."

"We should take up a defensive position," Jasper suggested.

I nodded woodenly. "Let's get inside."

_I'll run perimeter with Seth. If I get too far away for you to hear my head, listen for my howl._

"I will," I promised him.

My family and I backed into the house, eyes flickering everywhere for any signs of the pack. When we got inside, I took my place at Bella's side again. She was still asleep. I wished desperately that I could have something to _do_. Anything would be better than just sitting here, watching her die. Seth and Jacob were still close enough that I could hear them, so I concentrated on their thoughts.

_I'm still not finding much, _Seth said.

_I'll take half the circle. Move fast—we don't want them to have a chance to sneak past us._

About fifteen minutes later, Seth heard Esme and Carlisle coming up to the house. _Hey—something coming up fast!_

_On my way! _Jacob thought, running to where Seth was.

_Hold your position,_ Seth told him. _I don't think it's the pack. It sounds different._

_Seth—_

And then he caught their scent. _Vampire. Bet it's Carlisle._

_Seth, fall back. It might be someone else._

_No, it's them, _he assured Jacob. _I recognize the scent. Hold up, I'm going to phase and explain it to them._

_Seth, I don't think—_

But he had phased and was now looking for Carlisle and Esme. He found them quickly and explained the situation.

"Thank you, Seth. Thank Jacob for us, as well," Carlisle told him.

"No problem," Seth said. "I've got to phase again so I can communicate with Jacob."

"Of course," Carlisle said. "Thank you again. We would never have asked this from you or Jacob."

And then he ran off to phase again.

_Yep, Carlisle and Esme,_ he told Jacob. _Boy, were they surprised to see me. They're probably inside by now. Carlisle said thanks._

_He's a good guy, _Jacob said.

_Yeah. That's one of the reasons why we're right about this._

_Hope so._

_Why're you so down, Jake? I'll bet Sam won't bring the pack tonight. He's not going to launch a suicide mission._

Jacob sighed. _It doesn't seem to matter either way._

_Oh. This isn't about Sam so much, is it? You think Bella's going to die anyway._

_Yeah, she is._

_Poor Edward, _Seth thought sympathetically. _He must be crazy._

_Literally. _Seth bringing up the subject of me had brought back a flood of memories from this afternoon, including the part where I'd asked Jacob to kill me when Bella died.

Seth started howling. He was upset. _Oh, man! No way! You did _not_! That just plain ol' sucks rocks, Jake! And you know it, too! I can't believe you said you'd kill him. What _is _that? You have to tell him no._

_Shut up, shut up, you idiot!_ Jacob chastised him. _They're going to think the pack is coming._

_Oops! _Seth cut off mid-howl.

_Just keep out of this, Seth. Take the whole circle for now._

Seth was seething. He liked me. A lot. And he couldn't stand the thought that Jacob would kill me. Even though, once Bella was dead, I would want to die. I wanted to die already, but I knew it would destroy Bella. And, on the very small chance that she kept her heart beating long enough for the venom to work, well, I wanted to be around for that.

_False alarm, false alarm, _Jacob thought. _Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one's attacking. False alarm. _Jacob ran to the meadow and looked in the window that I was staring out of. _There's nothing out there—you got that?_

I nodded once.

_This would be a hell of a lot easier if the communication was two-way. But then, I'm kinda glad I'm not in _his _head right now._

Bella started gagging again and was once again violently ill. Her body wasn't taking the nutrition intravenously, either. I looked over my shoulder at my wife, who looked like she might have only hours left. She looked so much worse. What could we _do_ for her? There had to be something.

_What's going on? _Jacob asked me.

I didn't answer. I just waved Jacob away with my hand without turning back towards the window.

"What happened?" Emmett asked me.

"It was a false alarm," I told him in a dead voice. "Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He's very young."

"Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort," Emmett grumbled.

"They've done us a great service tonight, Emmett," Carlisle reminded him. "At great personal sacrifice."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just jealous. Wish I was out there."

"Seth doesn't think Sam will attack tonight," I told him, my voice still lifeless. "Not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack."

"What does Jacob think?" Carlisle asked me.

"He's not so optimistic."

Bella's heartbeat started to falter, and Carlisle tried to give her something to steady it.

"Don't touch her," Rosalie growled. "You'll wake her up."

Carlisle sighed. "Rosalie."

"Don't start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but that's all we're allowing."

For the millionth time since we'd been home, I wanted to rip Rosalie into tiny pieces. Like that thing was doing to my Bella. See how she liked it. Oh, that's right. She didn't care about Bella. Or me. She could care less that she was making my life a living hell. What happened to all that _I don't want to lose you, Edward_ stuff that she'd spouted when we got back from Italy? And when Victoria was attacking us? No, she didn't care anymore. All she cared about was getting Bella's…thing. It wasn't a baby. It was a monster. A thing. And Rosalie wanted it.

Bella choked a little in her sleep, and, before I could reach out to touch her face, Rosalie smoothed her hand over Bella's forehead. _Don't touch her. _She growled.

I glared at her, threatening her life with my eyes. How dare she tell me not to touch my own wife? For once, Emmett was on my side instead of Rosalie's. He knew that I needed to be able to be with Bella right now. But he also didn't want Rosalie and me fighting tonight.

"Not tonight, Edward," he said, stepping between us and holding out his hands. "We've got other things to worry about."

I turned away and saw Jacob looking in the window, checking on Bella. I caught his eye for half a second, trying to tell him everything with the one look. And from my expression, he knew. I was the burning man once more.


	12. 10 Idea

10. Idea

Bella was sleeping again, which was good. At least she couldn't get sick or be in pain when she was asleep. And when she was asleep, she couldn't sicken me with her newfound camaraderie with Rosalie or her love for the monster who was sucking her life away, starving her to death. So, again looking for something to do, I listened for the wolves. And…I heard a third voice.

_Morning, boys, _came Leah Clearwater's thoughts.

_Oh, man! Go away, Leah! _Seth complained.

_Cut the noise, Seth,_ Jacob ordered.

_Right. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!_

_Stop whining, Seth. You're such a baby,_ Leah complained.

_What do you think you're doing, Leah? _Jacob asked.

_It's pretty obvious, isn't it? I'm joining your crappy little renegade pack. The vampires' guard dogs._

This wasn't good. Leah Clearwater hated us.

_No, you're not,_ Jacob contradicted. _Turn around before I rip out one of your hamstrings._

_Like you could catch me. Wanna race, O fearless leader?_

Jacob wanted to howl, but he remembered that we were waiting for a signal, so he refrained. _Seth, go let the Cullens know that it's just your stupid sister. I'll deal with this._

_On it! _ Seth was only too happy to get away from his sister.

_You're just going to let him run off to the vampires _alone_?_ Leah asked.

_I'm pretty sure he'd rather they took him out than spend another minute with you, _Jacob snapped.

_Shut up, Jacob. Oops, I'm sorry—I meant, shut up, most high Alpha._

_Why the _hell_ are you here?_

_You think I'm just going to sit home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy?_

_Seth doesn't want or need your protection. In fact, no one wants you here._

_Oooh, ouch, that's gonna leave a _huge_ mark. Ha! Tell me who _does_ want me around, and I'm outta here._

_So this isn't about Seth at all, is it?_ Jacob asked.

_Of course it is,_ Leah lied. _I'm just pointing out that being unwanted is not a first for me. Not really a motivating factor, if you know what I mean._

_Did Sam send you?_

_If I was here on Sam's errand, you wouldn't be able to hear me. My allegiance is no longer with him._

Jacob listened carefully to the thoughts behind Leah's words. He was still skeptical of her loyalties. I couldn't say I blamed him. Leah didn't like us, and Leah didn't like Jacob. Why on earth would she join his pack? She wasn't letting Jacob or me in on that.

_You're loyal to _me _now? _Jacob asked sarcastically. _Uh-huh. Right._

_My choices are limited. I'm working with the options I've got. Trust me, I'm not enjoying this any more than you are._

That wasn't true. There was an edgy excitement in her mind. Kind of like a kid stealing a cookie from a cookie jar and getting away with it. Knowing she'd done something rebellious. And then I realized what it was. She _was_ enjoying this. She was enjoying this because she wasn't linked to Sam, the man who had imprinted on her cousin after dating her for years, anymore. She didn't have to deal with his undying love for Emily every day. Well, I couldn't say I blamed her.

Seth came up to the house then and caught my eye to think his explanation to me. Not that I needed it.

_Wow, he looks bad,_ Seth thought to himself.

I didn't react. I knew I must look like something out of a horror movie.

_What's going on? _Leah asked. _Catch me up to speed._

_There's no point,_ Jacob told her. _You're not staying._

_Actually, Mr. Alpha, I am. Because since apparently I have to belong to _someone_—and don't think I haven't tried breaking off on my own, you know yourself how well _that _doesn't work—I choose you._

_Leah, you don't like me. I don't like you._

_Thank you, Captain Obvious. That doesn't matter to me. I'm staying with Seth._

_You don't like vampires,_ he tried. _Don't you think that's a little conflict of interest right there?_

_You don't like vampires either,_ she pointed out.

_But I _am_ committed to this alliance. You aren't._

_I'll keep my distance from them. I can run patrols out here, just like Seth._

Bella woke up then, and I tuned them out so I could be with her for a few minutes. She didn't stay awake for very long these days, and I treasured every second I had with her.

"Hey," she croaked. She sounded so much worse.

I tried to smile.

Apparently it didn't work, because she rested her hand on my cheek. "Shh," she said. "It's going to work out, Edward. You'll see."

I hoped I did see. And soon. I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to bear this. "Don't worry about me, love. I'm fine."

"You're not," she whispered. "I know you're trying to hide it from me, but you're not fine."

"I have to be."

"No. It's okay. I know it's not easy for you to see me like this. But it will all be over soon."

Yes, it would. And she would be dead. Dead, because that thing I had been foolish enough to place inside her would have killed her. But I didn't tell her that. Apparently my face did, though, because she gently stroked my cheek.

"I'm going to pull through this. I promise. Somehow, I'll keep my heart beating. I won't leave you, Edward."

I wished I could cry. I wished that I could just let a fountain of tears overflow. But I couldn't. I just moaned.

"Shh," she said, stroking my cheek again. "Shh."

"I can't live without you, Bella," I blurted out. I instantly regretted it. I was supposed to be trying not to upset her.

"Shh. I know that. You won't have to. I promise you, we will be together forever."

"I'm going to hold you to that," I said, trying to smile again.

She smiled. "Somehow, you guys are going to figure out what to do here. And soon. I can feel it."

All this _I can feel it_ mumbo jumbo was getting really old. She could _feel_ a whole lot of things, none of them things I had any hope for. I couldn't see what to do. What, was a light bulb going to turn on over my head or something? Was I going to see the light and somehow magically know exactly how to keep Bella alive?

I took the hand she had on my face in mine and gently kissed it. "I hope so."

She smiled. "You will."

And then Rosalie butted in. "Let her sleep, Edward. She needs her rest." She growled at me.

"It's okay, Rose," Bella said. "Just a few more minutes. I barely get to talk to him anymore."

"Bella, you need your rest. The baby needs you to be as strong as possible."

Well, that was true, but she was sleeping eighteen hours a day. And she and I didn't get very much time together, even when she was awake, between Rosalie growling any time I went near her and her vomiting every hour or so. But then I caught a snippet of one of Jacob's thoughts, and I thought I should probably pay attention for a bit.

_Okay, then, Ms. Do-Anything-I-Want. Why don't you make yourself useful by telling us what you know? What happened after we left last night? _Jacob asked.

_Lots of howling. But you probably heard that part. It was so loud that it took us a while to figure out that we couldn't hear you anymore. Sam was…_Words to describe Sam's fury failed Leah, but it was enough to send chills down Seth's and Jacob's spines, as well as mine. _After that, it was clear pretty quick that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was planning to talk to the other Elders first thing this morning. We were supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. I could tell he wasn't going to mount another attack right away, though. Suicide at this point, with you and Seth AWOL and the bloodsuckers forewarned. I'm not sure what they'll do, but I wouldn't be wandering the forest alone if I was a leech. It's open season on vamps now._

_You decided to skip the meeting this morning? _Jacob asked.

_When we split up for patrols last night, I asked permission to go home, to tell my mother what had happened—_

_Crap! You told Mom?_ Seth thought.

_Seth, hold off on the sibling stuff for a sec, _Jacob told him. _Go on, Leah._

_So once I was human, I took a minute to think things through. Well, actually, I took all night. I bet the others think I fell asleep. But the whole two-separate-packs, two-separate-pack-minds thing gave me a lot to sift through. In the end, I weighed Seth's safety and the, er, other benefits against the idea of turning traitor and sniffing vampire stink for who knows how long. You know what I decided. I left a note for my mom. I expect we'll hear it when Sam finds out…_

_Yeah, I expect we will, _Jacob agreed.

_So that's everything. What do we do now?_ Leah asked.

Seth and Leah both waited for Jacob to give them their orders. And that was exactly what Jacob didn't want to do. But he knew he had to.

_I guess we just keep an eye out for now. That's all we _can _do. You should probably take a nap, Leah._

_You've had as much sleep as I have,_ she told him.

_Thought you were going to do what you were told?_

_Right. That's going to get old. Well, whatever. I don't care._

_I'll run the border, Jake, _Seth told him. He was beyond thrilled that Jacob hadn't forced him and Leah to go home.

_Sure, sure. I'm going to go check in with the Cullens._

Well, Jacob was coming here, so I could turn my attention back to my wife now. She looked like she was about to get sick again.

"What can I do?" I begged.

"Nothing," Bella whispered. "Just stay with me."

"Forever," I promised, kissing her lightly. Or at least what little bit of forever she had left. Rosalie growled at me.

Jacob had phased back to his human form now.

"Carlisle, Jacob is coming in his human form," I said. "Can you go out to greet him? I don't want to leave Bella."

"Of course, son," he said, already halfway to the door.

Jacob's heart skipped a beat when he saw Carlisle on the front porch instead of me. He thought something was wrong with Bella.

"Are you all right, Jacob?" Carlisle asked.

"Is Bella?" he choked.

"She's…much the same as last night. Did I startle you? I'm sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didn't want to leave her. She's awake."

_And Edward doesn't want to lose any time with her, because he doesn't have much time left. He might as well have said it out loud._

"I didn't get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob," Carlisle told him. "You don't know how much I appreciate your…compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do…"

"Don't mention it," Jacob muttered. He sounded exhausted. I wondered when he'd last slept.

"If you prefer."

They sat silently for a few minutes, while Jacob contemplated the situation he was in. _It's like fate's out to make me do everything I'd ever sworn I wouldn't in the course of twenty-four hours. Here I am, hanging around, waiting for her to die._

"She's family to you?" Jacob asked Carlisle.

"Yes. Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter."

"But you're going to let her die?"

_You don't know how much I want to get it out of her. _"I can imagine what you think of me for that," he said after a long pause. "But I can't ignore her will. It wouldn't be right to make such a choice for her, to force her."

Jacob wanted to be angry with Carlisle. So did I. But it was like he was throwing both of our words back at us, but scrambled up.

_It can't be right now, though, _Jacob thought. _Not with Bella dying. Still…I remember how it felt to be broken on the ground under Sam. To have no choice but to be involved in the murder of someone I love. But it's not the same. Sam was wrong. And Bella loves things she shouldn't._

"Do you think there's any chance she'll make it?" Jacob asked after a long silence. "I mean, as a vampire and all that. She told me about…about Esme."

"I'd say there's an even chance at this point," Carlisle answered quietly. "I've seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail…there won't be anything for me to do."

Bella's heartbeat throbbed and faltered, giving agonizing emphasis to my father's words.

_Maybe the planet has started turning backward. Maybe that explains how everything's the opposite of what it was yesterday—how I could be hoping for what had once seemed like the very worst thing in the world._

I knew how Jacob felt. I had been so apprehensive about Bella becoming a vampire, but now I was praying for it. Praying that she was just strong enough to survive this with her heart still beating.

"What is that thing doing to her?" Jacob asked in a whisper. "She was so much worse last night. I saw…the tubes and all that. Through the window."

_Finally, something I can make sense of. Something medical. _"The fetus isn't compatible with her body," Carlisle explained. "Too strong, for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The bigger problem is that it won't allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I'm trying to feed her intravenously, but she's just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. I'm watching her—and not just her, but the fetus as well—starve to death by the hour. I can't stop it and I can't slow it down. I can't figure out what it _wants_." His voice broke at the end.

_I hate this thing that's hurting her. It's not enough for the monster to beat her from the inside out. No, it's starving her, too. Probably just looking for something to sink its teeth into—a throat to suck dry. Since it's not big enough to kill anyone else yet, it's settling for sucking Bella's life from her. I can tell him exactly what it wants: death and blood, blood and death._

Wait…blood. There was something there. This thing inside my love was clearly part vampire…was it thirsty? Had we really missed something that obvious? Bella was right. A light bulb had switched on over my head tonight.

"I wish I could get a better idea of what exactly it is," Carlisle murmured. "The fetus is well protected. I haven't been able to produce an ultrasonic image. I doubt there is any way to get a needle through the amniotic sac, but Rosalie won't agree to let me try, in any case."

"A needle?" Jacob mumbled. "What good would that do?"

"The more I know about the fetus, the better I can estimate what it will be capable of. What I wouldn't give for even a little amniotic fluid. If I knew the chromosomal count…"

I knew Carlisle was just desperate for something to do. Just like I was. He hated sitting around watching Bella die almost as much as I did.

"You're losing me, doc," Jacob said. "Can you dumb it down?"

He chuckled once. "Okay. How much biology have you taken? Did you study chromosomal pairs?"

"Think so. We have twenty-three, right?"

"Humans do."

"How many do you have?"

"Twenty-five."

"What does that mean?"

"I thought it meant that our species were almost completely different. Less related than a lion and a house cat. But this new life—well, it suggests that we're more genetically compatible than I thought." Carlisle sighed sadly. "I didn't know to warn them."

Jacob sighed too. _It was easy to hate Edward for the same ignorance. I still hate him for it. But it's hard to feel that way about Carlisle. Maybe because I'm not ten shades of jealous in Carlisle's case._

I smiled a little.

"It might help to know what the count was," Carlisle continued to muse. "Whether the fetus was closer to us or to her. To know what to expect. And maybe it wouldn't help anything. I guess I just wish I had something to study, anything to do."

"Wonder what my chromosomes are like," Jacub muttered. _I wonder if they run DNA tests at the Olympics._

Carlisle coughed self-consciously. "You have twenty-four pairs, Jacob. I was…curious. I took the liberty when I was treating you last June."

"I guess that should piss me off. But I don't really care."

"I'm sorry. I should have asked."

"S'okay, Doc. You didn't mean any harm."

"No, I promise you that I did _not_ mean you any harm. It's just that…I find your species fascinating. I suppose that the elements of vampiric nature have come to see commonplace to me over the centuries. Your family's divergence from humanity is much more interesting. Magical, almost."

_He's just like Bella with all the magic garbage. _"Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo," Jacob mumbled.

Carlisle laughed again, exhausted.

Speaking of Bella…what would it hurt to try to give her some blood? If it didn't work, it didn't work. But it couldn't hurt to try.

"I'll be right back, Bella," I murmured to my love. "I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?"

"What is it, Edward?" Bella croaked.

"Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?" It took all of my effort to call Bella's bodyguard by her nickname.

_What's going on here? _"Esme?" Rosalie called. "Can you mind Bella for me?"

"Of course," Esme said, flitting down the stairs.

I walked through the door, Rosalie following close behind me. I let her go through the door first, and then shut the door behind me as I walked outside.

"Carlisle," I murmured.

"What is it, Edward?" my father asked.

"Perhaps we've been going about this the wrong way," I began. "I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the…fetus"—I had a difficult time using a term as mild as _fetus_ for the thing that was killing my love—"wants, Jacob had an interesting thought."

Me_? _Jacob thought. _What did _I _think? Besides my obvious hatred for the thing? Well, at least I'm not alone in that. Edward seems to be having a difficult time using a term as mild as _fetus.

"We haven't actually addressed _that_ angle," I continued. "We've been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the…fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we'll be able to help her more effectively." The words sounded…right…as I said them. So Bella was right. I had found a way to help her.

"I'm not following you, Edward," Carlisle said, confused.

"Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves—what it's not getting? Jacob did."

_I did?_ Jacob ran through the conversation he'd just had with my father, trying to remember what thoughts he'd kept to himself. He remembered at about the same time Carlisle figured it out.

"Oh," Carlisle exclaimed. "You think it is…thirsty?"

Rosalie hissed excitedly. She could see that I was right. And it would help the thing, which was all she cared about. "Of course," she muttered, trying not to let her excitement show too much. "Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It's a good idea."

"Hmm," Carlisle mused. "I wonder…" _That's it. Of course! How did we miss that?_ "And then, what would be the best way to administer…"

Rosalie shook her head. "We don't have time to be creative. I'd say we should start with the traditional way."

"Wait a minute," Jacob whispered. "Just hold on. Are you—are you talking about making Bella drink _blood?_"

"It was your idea, dog," Rosalie said, scowling at Jacob without actually looking at him.

"That's just…" Jacob struggled for the right words.

"Monstrous?" I suggested. "Repulsive?"

"Pretty much," Jacob agreed.

"But what if it helps her?" I whispered.

Jacob shook his head. "What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?"

"I plan to ask her what she thinks," I told him. "I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first."

Rosalie nodded. She was quite excited about this prospect. "If you tell her it might help the baby, she'll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube."

The way Rosalie said the word _baby _made Jacob realize why Rosalie had taken such a sudden interest in Bella. _Oh, of course. Blondie would be in line with anything that helps the little life-sucking monster. Is that what's going on, the mystery factor that's bonding the two of them? Is Rosalie after the kid?_

I nodded once, not looking at Jacob, in response. I hoped he saw.

_Huh. I wouldn't have thought the ice-cold Barbie would have a maternal side. So much for protecting Bella—Rosalie'd probably jam the tube down Bella's throat herself._

I mashed my mouth into a hard line. Jacob was right again.

"Well, we don't have time to sit around discussing this," Rosalie said impatiently. "What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?"

Carlisle took a deep breath. He didn't like the idea of Bella drinking blood any more than Jacob or I did, but if it helped his new daughter-in-law, he was willing to try anything. He stood up. "We'll ask Bella."

Rosalie smiled smugly. _If it's up to Bella, I'll get my way._

Jacob followed us inside, not really sure why he was coming.

Bella lay flat on the hospital bed, her stomach a mountain under the sheet. She looked like wax. If it weren't for the tiny movement of her chest, her shallow breathing, I would have thought she was already dead. She was even worse than when I'd left her a minute ago.

"What's going on?" my love croaked. Her hand went to rest on her stomach.

"Jacob had an idea that might help you," Carlisle told her.

_I wish he'd leave me out of it. I didn't suggest anything. Give the credit to her bloodsucking husband, where it belongs._

"It won't be…pleasant," Carlisle continued, "but…"

"But it will help the baby," Rosalie finished. "We've thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe."

Bella's eyelids fluttered. She'd only been awake for an hour and she was already exhausted again. She tried to chuckle, but it came out sounding more like a cough. "Not pleasant?" she whispered. "Gosh, that'll be such a change." She looked at the needle stuck in her arm and coughed out another laugh.

Rosalie laughed with her. I really wished I could get a couple of good swipes at her.

_The girl looks like she has only hours left, and she has to be in pain, but she's making jokes, _Jacob thought. _So Bella. Trying to ease the tension, make it better for everyone else._

I stepped around Rosalie and took my love's free hand, the one that wasn't resting on her stomach. "Bella, love, we're going to ask you to do something monstrous," I told her, using the same adjectives I'd offered Jacob. "Repulsive."

_Well, at least he's giving it to her straight,_ Jacob thought.

Bella took a shallow, rattling breath. She sounded like the Grim Reaper. "How bad?"

"We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours," Carlisle told her. "We think it's thirsty."

Bella blinked. "Oh. _Oh._"

Carlisle continued. "Your condition—both of your conditions—are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory—"

"I've got to drink it," she interrupted in a whisper. She nodded slightly. "I can do that. Practice for the future, right?" She smiled at me.

I didn't answer. Frankly, I didn't know if that future would be available to us. If this didn't work, I was out of ideas. If this didn't work, my Bella would die.

Rosalie started tapping her foot impatiently.

_I wonder what she'd do if I threw her through a wall right now,_ Jacob thought.

Hmm…I wondered too. I would have liked to find out. But we had more pressing matters to attend to at the moment.

"So who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" Bella whispered.

Carlisle and I exchanged a glance, and Rosalie stopped tapping. Who was going to tell her that she was about to drink human blood?

Bella could tell we weren't telling her something. "What?"

"It will be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella," Carlisle told her.

"_If_ the fetus is craving blood," I explained, "it's not craving animal blood."

"It won't make a difference to you, Bella," Rosalie encouraged. "Don't think about it."

Bella's eyes widened. "Who?" she breathed, and looked at Jacob.

"I'm not here as a donor, Bells," Jacob grumbled. "'Sides, it's human blood that thing's after, and I don't think mine applies—"

"We have blood on hand," Rosalie interrupted, ignoring Jacob. "For you—just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better."

The baby, the baby, the baby. That was all she cared about. Who cared whether it would help my love or not? So long as the…thing survived, Rosalie could have cared less what happened to Bella. She would have drunk Bella's blood herself as soon as looked at her.

But I had to admit I had a good feeling about this, too. I wasn't allowing myself to hope yet, but I wanted to. It seemed…right. And Bella had felt it. And if she felt this and it came to pass…well, maybe everything would be all right, like she said.

Bella ran her hand across her stomach. "Well, _I'm_ starving, so I'll bet he is, too. Let's go for it. My first vampire act."


	13. 11 Improvement

11. Improvement

Carlisle and Rosalie left in a flash to get Bella some of the donated blood. They debated whether they should warm it up for her.

_Ugh, _Jacob thought. _What house-of-horrors stuff do they keep around here? Fridge full of blood, check. What else? Torture chamber? Coffin room?_

I stayed with Bella, holding her hand. I was too exhausted to keep up the little bit of hope I'd had before. Not with Bella looking like she had only hours left. We stared into each other's eyes, but not in a romantic way. It was like…like we were having a conversation. Bella tried to assure me with her eyes that everything would be all right. I wanted to believe it. I wanted to believe that this idea that I'd had from picking snide remarks out of Jacob's head was the key to keeping my angel alive. But I couldn't. Not yet.

Jacob watched this exchange, heartbroken. It reminded him of how Sam and Emily looked, and, for the first time, he felt sympathy for Leah for having to endure it every day. _I'll never blame her for how she handled that again. How could anyone help spreading this kind of misery around? How could anyone _not_ try to ease some of the burden by shoving a little piece of it off on someone else? And, if that means I have to have a pack, how can I blame her for taking my freedom? I'd do the same thing, if it meant I could escape this._

At that moment, Rosalie darted down the stairs and went into the kitchen. She grabbed a clear cup and went to put the blood in it.

"Not _clear_, Rosalie," I murmured. She would hear. I rolled my eyes.

Bella looked at me curiously, but I just shook my head. I didn't want her to have to think about what she was going to be doing any more than necessary.

Rosalie went back into the kitchen to get a solid colored cup.

"This was your idea?" Bella whispered, looking at Jacob. Her voice was strained, trying to make it loud enough for him to hear. She seemed to forget that wasn't necessary. Jacob enjoyed that immensely.

"Don't blame me for this one," he told her. "Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head."

She smiled a weak smile at her best friend. Her best friend, who she was also in love with. I wished fervently that she wouldn't be so…thrilled every time he walked in the door.

"I didn't expect to see you again," Bella told Jacob.

"Yeah, me either," he said.

_It's weird just standing here. But I guess it doesn't bother them—sitting or standing doesn't make much difference when you're stone. I guess it wouldn't bother me much, either, but I'm exhausted._

I felt a little sorry for the dog. I wondered when he'd last slept.

"Edward told me what you had to do," Bella said. "I'm sorry."

"S'okay. It was probably only a matter of time till I snapped over something Sam wanted me to do." He was lying. Killing Bella was the only thing Sam could have asked him to do that would have made him leave the pack.

"And Seth," Bella whispered.

"He's actually happy to help."

"I hate causing you trouble."

He laughed. _Well, that's nothing new. You've done nothing but cause me trouble since your bloodsucker came back._

Bella sighed weakly. "I guess that's nothing new, is it?"

"No, not really."

"You don't have to stay and watch this," she suggested.

I was in agreement there. Why was Jacob even here, about to watch the girl he loved drink blood because the thing I had put inside her was thirsty? It had to be repulsive to him.

_I could leave,_ Jacob thought. _It's probably a good idea. But if I do, the way she looks right now, I could be missing the last fifteen minutes of her life._ "I don't really have anywhere else to go," Jacob lied. "The wolf thing is a lot less appealing since Leah joined up."

"Leah?" Bella gasped.

"You didn't tell her?" he asked me.

I shrugged. Leah joining the pack wasn't huge news to me. Not with the other events going down, like, oh, my wife dying in front of me.

"Why?" Bella breathed. She was clearly interested.

"To keep an eye on Seth," Jacob said, not wanting to go into the novel-length version.

"But Leah hates us."

_Us. Nice. But she's afraid of Leah._ "Leah's not going to bug anyone," he promised. "She's in my pack"—he grimaced at the word—"so she follows my lead." _Ugh._

Bella didn't look convinced.

"You're scared of _Leah_, but you're best buds with the psychopath blonde?"

I wanted to laugh or snort or roll my eyes or something, but I couldn't. All of my motor functions were gone.

There was a low hiss from the second floor.

_Cool, she heard me,_ Jacob thought.

Bella frowned. "Don't. Rose…understands."

"Yeah," he grunted. "She understands that you're gonna die and she doesn't care, s'long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal."

Yes, that was about the size of it. Jacob understood everything perfectly now.

"Stop being a jerk, Jacob," Bella whispered.

Jacob wanted to get mad at her, to scream at her for this insanity. But he couldn't. She looked too weak. So he tried to smile. "You say that like it's possible."

Bella tried not to smile, but she couldn't help it. I supposed I was glad Jacob was here. If it made her happy, I would just have to deal with the fact that she wanted him around.

And then Carlisle and Rosalie were back. Carlisle was holding a white plastic cup with a lid and a bendy straw.

_Oh, now I get it. _Not clear. _Edward doesn't want Bella to think about what she's doing any more than necessary, _Jacob thought.

Carlisle hesitated, the cup half extended toward Bella. Bella eyed it, looking scared.

Carlisle saw her expression and was instantly backtracking. "We can try another method," he offered.

"No," Bella whispered. "No, I'll try this first. We don't have time…" She rubbed her stomach.

Didn't she care at all about her own life? Didn't she have a clue that she was about to die? All she seemed worried about was the thing.

Bella reached out and took the cup. She was so weak that her hand shook from the effort it took to hold it. She tried to prop herself up on one elbow, but she could barely lift her head. Rosalie went and put her arm around Bella's shoulders and supported her head like one would with a baby, helping her to sit up.

_Blondie's all about the babies_, Jacob thought.

"Thanks," Bella whispered. She looked around at all of us, still aware enough to feel self-conscious.

"Don't mind them," Rosalie murmured.

_This is awkward. I should've left when Bella offered me the chance. I don't belong here, being part of this. Maybe I should duck out…but, no. That would make it even worse for Bella. I don't want to take credit for this idea, but I don't want to jinx it, either. Not if it helps her. She'll figure I was too disgusted to stay, and maybe then she won't go through with it._

Bella lifted the cup to her face and sniffed. She flinched, and then grimaced.

"Bella, sweetheart, we can find an easier way," I murmured, holding my hand out for the cup.

"Plug your nose," Rosalie suggested. She glared at my hand, looking like she wanted to take a snap at it.

_I wish she would take a snap at his hand. I bet Edward wouldn't take _that_ sitting down, and I'd love to see Blondie lose a limb, _Jacob thought.

Actually, ripping Rosalie's arms off seemed like a very appealing idea right now.

"No, that's not it," Bella whispered. "It's just that it—it smells good," she admitted in a tiny voice.

Jacob swallowed, trying to keep his disgust off of his face. He didn't want to make it any harder for Bella.

"That's a good thing," Rosalie said eagerly. "That means we're on the right track. Give it a try."

_I'm surprised she didn't break into a touchdown dance,_ Jacob thought.

Bella, using all of her strength, put the straw between her lips, squeezed her eyes shut, and took a sip. She moaned quietly.

Jacob and I stepped forward at the same time. I touched her face, while Jacob kept his hands clenched behind his back.

"Bella, love—" I said soothingly, as soothingly as I could manage.

"I'm okay," she whispered. She opened her eyes and stared at me. Her expression was apologetic. Pleading for me to understand. "It _tastes_ good, too."

I heard Jacob's stomach churning. He ground his teeth together, determined to keep it together while he was here.

"That's good," Rosalie repeated. "A good sign."

I couldn't argue with Rosalie. I just pressed my hand gently to Bella's cheek. She sighed and put her lips to the straw again, taking a real pull this time. It wasn't weak. It was like some instinct had taken over. Like…like the thing's instinct had taken over. It was working.

"How's your stomach?" Carlisle asked. "Do you feel nauseated?"

Bella shook her head. "No, I don't feel sick," she whispered, still too weak to speak louder. "There's a first, eh?"

Rosalie smiled. "Excellent."

"I think it's a bit early for that, Rose," Carlisle murmured. He was more worried about Bella than the thing, and Bella was clearly still weak.

Bella took another pull, and then looked at me. "Does this screw my total? Or do we start counting _after_ I'm a vampire?"

"No one is counting, Bella," I said. How could we be counting when she was about to die? But I struggled to keep it light. "In any case, no one died for this." I smiled lifelessly. "Your record is still clean."

_They've lost me_.

"I'll explain it later," I breathed to Jacob.

"What?" Bella whispered.

"Just talking to myself," I lied.

_If he succeeds with this, if Bella lives, Edward's not going to be able to get away with so much when her senses are as sharp as his. He'll have to work on the honesty thing._

My lips twitched, fighting a smile. He was right.

Bella drank a few more ounces, staring blankly out the window. Pretending we weren't here, probably.

Jacob's thoughts were in line with mine, for the most part. _Or maybe just me. No one else in this group would be disgusted by what she's doing. Just the opposite—they're probably having a tough time not ripping the cup away from her._

I rolled my eyes. Everyone in this room cared about Bella (or, in Rosalie's case, the thing) more than they wanted to drink the blood Bella had in her hand.

_Jeez, how does anyone stand living with him? It's really too bad he can't hear Bella's thoughts. Then he'd annoy the crap out of her, too, and she'd get tired of him._

That did it. I chuckled. He was right again. One of the reasons I was glad I couldn't hear Bella.

Bella looked at me and half-smiled at the humor in my face. "Something funny?"

"Jacob," I told her.

She looked at her friend and smiled. "Jake's a crack-up."

_Great, now I'm the court jester._ "Bada-_bing_," he mumbled in a weak rim-shot impression.

She smiled again and took another swig from the cup of blood. The straw pulled at empty air, making a loud sucking sound.

"I did it," she said, her weary voice triumphant. Her voice was rough, but, for the first time in a while, not a whisper. "If I keep this down, Carlisle, will you take the needles out of me?"

I smiled a little. Of course, she would be worried about the needles. She hated needles.

"As soon as possible," Carlisle promised. "Honestly, they aren't doing that much good where they are."

Rosalie patted my wife's forehead and they exchanged a hopeful glance. And now I was just as hopeful as they were. Anyone could see it. The cup full of human blood had made an immediate difference. The color was returning to her face, and already she didn't seem to need Rosalie's support as much. Her breathing was easier, and her heart was beating stronger, more evenly. Bella had been right. I had seen the light today. I had figured out how to help her.

"Would you like more?" Rosalie pressed.

Bella's shoulders slumped. She looked…embarrassed? Was that the right word?

I glared menacingly at Rosalie before turning to Bella. "You don't have to drink more right away."

"Yeah, I know," she told me. "But…I _want_ to." Yes, she was embarrassed.

Rosalie pulled her fingers through Bella's hair. I contemplated ripping her hand off for touching my wife like that.

"You don't need to be embarrassed about that, Bella," Rosalie said soothingly. "Your body has cravings. We all understand that. Anyone who doesn't understand shouldn't be here," she added harshly. Meant, obviously, for Jacob.

_I'm not going to let Blondie get to me. I'm just glad Bella's feeling better. Who cares if the means gross me out? It's not like I said anything._

Carlisle took the cup from Bella's hand. "I'll be right back."

Bella looked at Jacob. "Jake, you look awful."

"Look who's talking," he said.

"Seriously—when's the last time you slept?"

"Huh. I'm not actually sure."

"Aw, Jake. Now I'm messing with your health, too. Don't be stupid."

Jacob gritted his teeth. _She's allowed to kill herself for a monster, but I'm not allowed to miss a few nights' sleep to watch her do it?_

"Get some rest, please," Bella told him. "There're a few beds upstairs—you're welcome to any of them."

The glare on Rosalie's face made it clear that he was not welcome to one of them.

_What does Sleepless Beauty need a bed for anyway? Is she that possessive of her props? _"Thanks, Bells, but I'd rather sleep on the ground. Away from the stench, you know."

Bella grimaced. "Right."

Carlisle returned with another cup full of blood for Bella. She took it, looking distracted, like she was trying to think of something else, and started sucking it down, faster this time. She really was looking much better. She pulled herself forward, being careful of the tubes, and scooted into a sitting position. Rosalie hovered, ready to catch her if she sagged, but it wasn't necessary. Taking deep breaths in between swallows, Bella finished the second cup of blood quickly.

"How do you feel now?" Carlisle asked. He was hopeful now, too.

"Not sick," Bella replied in a much stronger voice. "Sort of hungry…only I'm not sure if I'm hungry or _thirsty_, you know?"

"Carlisle, just look at her," Rosalie said smugly. "This is obviously what her body wants. She should drink more."

I wanted to let the stream of profanities running through my head loose at my sister, but Carlisle answered before I could.

"She's still human, Rosalie. She needs food, too. Let's give her a little while to see how this affects her, and then maybe we can try some food again. Does anything sound particularly good to you, Bella?"

"Eggs," she said, smiling at me. I smiled back.

Jacob blinked, and it took him a long time to open his eyes again. He needed to sleep.

"Jacob," I murmured. "You really should sleep. As Bella said, you're certainly welcome to the accommodations here, though you'd probably be more comfortable outside. Don't worry about anything—I promise I'll find you if there's a need."

"Sure, sure," Jacob mumbled. _Now that Bella's looking better, I guess I could sleep. The bloodsucker will wake me up if something goes wrong. He owes me._

"I do," I agreed. Although I'd just been picking snide comments out of his head, he was the one who had given me the idea that had helped my Bella.

He nodded and then put his hand on Bella's. "Feel better."

"Thanks, Jacob," she said, turning her hand over so she could squeeze his.

"Get her a blanket or something," he muttered as he walked outside.

Before he even made it to the door, two howls pierced the morning air. There was no mistaking it this time.

_Someone's coming! _Seth thought.

_Where the hell is Jacob?_ Leah thought.

"Dammit," Jacob snarled as he threw himself out the door. He phased mid-air, his shorts shredding. _Crap! Those were the only clothes I had!_

"Carlisle, could you put some clothes on the front porch for Jacob?" I asked. "He just phased and shredded his last pair of shorts."

Carlisle chuckled. "Of course. I'll get something of Emmett's for him."

"Hurry back," I said. "The pack sent some of the wolves to talk to Jacob and the Clearwaters. We need to know what's going on."

Esme rushed into the room. "You have to tell us what's happening."

"Why do you think I mentioned it?" I asked. "Of course I'm going to tell you what's happening."

_What is it? _Jacob shouted in his head.

_Incoming, _Seth answered. _At least three._

_Did they split up?_ Jacob asked.

_I'm running the line back to Seth at the speed of light,_ Leah told him. _So far, no other point of attack._

_Seth, do _not _challenge them, _Jacob ordered. _Wait for me._

_They're slowing,_ Seth responded. _Ugh—it's so _off _not being able to hear them. I think…_

_What?_

_I think they've stopped._

_Waiting for the rest of the pack?_

_Shh. Feel that?_

_Someone's phasing? _Jacob asked.

_Feels like it,_ Seth agreed.

_Got your back, bro,_ Leah said as she reached the point where Seth was.

_Almost there,_ Jacob told them. _This is horrible, me being separated from them with potential danger closer to them than to me. Wrong. I should be with them, between them and whatever's coming._

_Look who's getting all paternal, _Leah teased.

_Head in the game, Leah,_ he ordered.

_Four, _Seth decided. _Three wolves, one man._

_So now I rank under Seth,_ Leah grumbled as they took their places behind Jacob—Seth on the right, Leah on the left, judging from her thoughts.

_First come, first served,_ Seth thought smugly. '_Sides, you were never an Alpha's Third before. Still an upgrade._

_Under my baby brother is not an upgrade._

_Shh! _Jacob complained. _I don't care where you stand. Shut up and get ready._

Jacob and his pack saw them coming a few seconds later, walking. They were just there to talk, not to fight. Jared was in the front in his human form. Paul, Quil, and Collin were wolves behind him.

Jacob was confused. _Why is Sam sending Collin rather than Embry? That's not what I would do if I were sending a diplomacy party into enemy territory. I wouldn't send a kid. I'd send the experienced fighter. _

_A diversion? _Leah suggested

_Are Sam, Embry, and Brady making a move alone? No, that doesn't seem likely._

_Want me to check? I can run the line and be back in two minutes._

_Should I warn the Cullens? _Seth thought.

_What if the point was to divide us? _Jacob asked. _The Cullens know something's up. They're ready._

_Sam wouldn't be so stupid, _Leah thought softly. She imagined Sam attacking us with only two other fighters, and the outcome wasn't fantastic for the wolves. She was right. That would have been a suicide mission.

_No, he wouldn't,_ Jacob assured her.

Jared was uncomfortable having to act as spokesperson for Sam's pack. He just stared at Jacob, Seth, and Leah, unsure of what to say. Quil was sad, looking at Jacob, Paul was angry as usual, and Collin was indifferent.

Jared cleared his throat before beginning. "White flag of truce, Jake. We're here to talk."

I couldn't hear Jared's thoughts, probably because I wasn't as familiar with them, so I was going to have about as much information as Jacob was. This would be odd. And unnerving. I contemplated going closer to them, but I didn't want to leave Bella.

_Think it's true? _Seth asked.

_Makes sense,_ Jacob thought, _but…_

_Yeah,_ Leah agreed. _But._

Jared frowned. "It would be easier to talk if I could hear you, too."

But Jacob wasn't going to phase back until he felt better about the situation.

"Okay. I guess I'll just talk, then," Jared said. "Jake, we want you to come back."

Quil seconded the statement, letting out a soft whine.

"You've torn our family apart," Jared continued. "It's not meant to be this way."

_Well, I can't disagree with that, but that's hardly the point. There are a few unresolved differences of opinion between me and Sam at the moment,_ Jacob thought sourly.

"We know that you feel…strongly about the situation with the Cullens. We know that's a problem. But this is an overreaction."

Seth growled. _Overreaction? And attacking our allies without warning _isn't_?_

_Seth, you ever heard of a poker face? _Jacob asked. _Cool it._

_Sorry._

"Sam is willing to take this slowly, Jacob. He's calmed down, talked to the other Elders. They've decided that immediate action is in no one's best interest at this point."

_Translation: they've already lost the element of surprise,_ Leah thought.

Jacob was a little taken aback by the fact that the pack was split so completely into "us" and "them." And it was especially weird to him to have Leah being a solid part of the "us."

"Billy and Sue agree with you, Jacob," Jared continued, "that we can wait for Bella…to be separated from the problem. Killing her is not something any of us feel comfortable with."

Jacob snarled. _Oh, so you don't quite _feel comfortable_ with murder, huh?_

"Easy, Jake. You know what I mean. The point is, we're going to wait and reassess the situation. Decide later if there is a problem with the…thing."

_Ha, _Leah thought. _What a load._

_You don't buy it? _Jacob asked.

_I know what they're thinking, Jake. What _Sam's _thinking. They're betting on Bella dying anyway. And then they figure you'll be so mad…_

_That I'll lead the attack myself. Yeah, that sounds about right. When…if that thing kills Bella, it'll be easy to forget how I feel about Carlisle's family now. They'll probably look like enemies—no more than bloodsucking leeches—to me all over again._

_I'll remind you, _Seth told him.

_I know you will, kid. Question is whether I'll listen to you._

"Jake?" Jared asked.

Jacob sighed. _Leah, make a circuit—just to be sure. I'm going to have to talk to him, and I want to be _positive_ there isn't anything else going on while I'm phased._

_Give me a break Jacob. You can phase in front of me. Despite my best efforts, I've seen you naked before—doesn't do much for me, so no worries._

_I'm not trying to protect the innocence of your eyes, I'm trying to protect our backs. Get out of here._

"Where's she going?" Jared asked as Leah ran off to make a circuit.

Jacob phased.

"Oh," Jared said. "Hey, Jake."

"Hey, Jared," Jacob replied icily.

"Thanks for talking to me."

"Yeah."

"We want you to come back, man."

Quil whined again.

"I don't know if it's that easy, Jared," Jacob told him.

"Come home," Jared pleaded. "We can sort this out. You don't belong here. Let Seth and Leah come home, too."

Jacob laughed. "Like I haven't been begging them to do that from hour one."

Seth snorted. _Like we'd leave the Cullens unprotected._

"So, what now, then?" Jared asked.

Jacob thought about that for a minute. "I don't know," he finally said. "But I'm not sure things could just go back to normal anyway, Jared. I don't know how it works—it doesn't feel like I can just turn this Alpha thing off and on as the mood strikes. It feels sort of permanent."

"You still belong with us."

"Two Alphas can't belong in the same place, Jared. Remember how close it got last night? The instinct is too competitive."

"So are you all just going to hang out with the parasites for the rest of your lives? You don't have a home here. You're already out of clothes. You gonna stay wolf all the time? You know Leah doesn't like eating that way."

"Leah can do whatever she wants when she gets hungry," Jacob told him. "She's here by her own choice. _I'm_ not telling anyone what to do."

Jared sighed. "Sam is sorry about what he did to you."

"I'm not angry anymore."

"But?"

"But I'm not coming back, not now. We're going to wait and see how it plays out, too. And we're going to watch out for the Cullens for as long as that seems necessary. Because, despite what you think, this isn't just about Bella. We're protecting those who should be protected. And that applies to the Cullens, too." _At least a fair number of them, anyway._

Seth yelped softly in agreement.

Jared frowned. "I guess there's nothing I can say to you, then."

"Not now. We'll see how things go."

And then Jared turned to Seth. "Sue asked me to tell you—no, to _beg_ you—to come home," Jared said. "She's brokenhearted, Seth. All alone. I don't know how you and Leah can do this to her. Abandon her this way, when you dad just barely died—"

Seth was firm in his decision to stay with Jacob, but he whimpered in pain at the reminder of his father's death.

"Ease up, Jared," Jacob warned.

"Just letting him know how it is."

Jacob snorted. "Right." _Sue's tougher than anyone I know. Tougher than my dad, tougher than me. Tough enough to play on her kids' sympathies if that's what it takes to get them home. But it's not fair to work Seth that way. _"Sue's known about this for how many hours now? And most of that time spent with Billy and Old Quil and Sam? Yeah, I'm sure she's just perishing of loneliness. 'Course you're free to go if you want, Seth. You know that."

Seth sniffed. _Right, like I'd leave the Cullens._

Leah returned. _Nothing. I didn't think Sam would be that stupid._

Jacob appreciated her attempts to not look at him while he was phased, undressed.

Jared had a game plan for Leah, too. Now that I was becoming more familiar with him through the conversation, I could catch little flickers of his thoughts. And I saw that he was going to play on her affections for Sam. I really felt like breaking this kid's nose right about now. "Leah?" he asked.

Leah met his gaze, but she wasn't thrilled about it. She had a feeling where this was heading.

"Leah, you _know_ you don't want to be here," Jared began.

Leah snarled. _You don't know anything._

Seth whined. _Cool it, sis._

"Sorry," Jared said. "Guess I shouldn't assume. But you don't have any ties to the bloodsuckers."

_But I _do _have a tie to Seth. And being with Jacob is a hell of a lot better than having to deal with Sam gloating over Emily all the time._ She looked at her brother and then at Jacob.

_What was that about?_ Jacob thought.

"So you want to watch out for Seth, I get that." _Why did she just look at Jacob?_ "But Jake's not going to let anything happen to him, and he's not afraid to be here. Anyway, _please_, Leah. We want you back. Sam wants you back."

_How _dare_ you bring up Sam to me?_

"Sam told me to beg. He told me to literally get down on my knees if I have to. He wants you home, Lee-lee, where you belong."

Leah felt a sharp stab of pain when Jared used Sam's old nickname for her, and then when he added on those last three words, she snarled and howled at him, using a very long stream of profanities.

Jacob waited until she was done. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Leah belongs wherever she wants to be."

Leah growled at Jared. _Yes, exactly, you asshole._

"Look, Jared, we're still family, okay?" Jacob said. "We'll get past the feud, but, until we do, you probably ought to stick to your land. Just so there aren't misunderstandings. Nobody wants a family brawl, right? Sam doesn't want that, either, does he?"

"Of course not," Jared snapped. "We'll stick to our land. But where is _your _land, Jacob? Is it vampire land?"

"No, Jared. Homeless at the moment. But don't worry—this isn't going to last forever. There's not that much time…left. Okay? The Cullens will probably go, and Seth and Leah will come home."

Seth and Leah whined together. _No, we won't._

"And what about you, Jake?"

"Back to the forest, I think. I can't really stick around La Push. Two Alphas means too much tension. 'Sides, I was headed that way anyway. Before this mess."

"What if we need to talk?" Jared asked.

"Howl—but watch the line, 'kay? We'll come to you. And Sam doesn't need to send so many. We aren't looking for a fight."

_Who are you to set conditions for Sam?_ "See you around, Jake. Or not."

"Wait, Jared. Is Embry okay?"

"Embry? Sure, he's fine. Why?"

"Just wondering why Sam sent Collin."

_Because he didn't want to risk Embry joining you. Quil can't leave La Push._ "That's not really your business anymore, Jake."

"Guess not. Just curious."

"I'll let Sam know about your…instructions," Jared said coldly. "Goodbye, Jacob."

Jacob sighed. "Yeah. Bye, Jared. Hey, tell my dad that I'm okay, will you? And that I'm sorry, and that I love him."

"I'll pass that along." _Not._

"Thanks."

"C'mon, guys," Jared said, turning away and heading out of sight to phase. Paul and Collin followed him immediately, but Quil stayed behind.

_I miss you, Jake,_ he yelped.

"Yeah, I miss you, too, bro," Jacob said, not needing translation.

Jacob took a step toward him, and he jogged the rest of the way. Jacob patted his shoulder.

"It'll be okay."

_No, it won't._ Quil whined.

"Tell Embry I miss having you two on my flanks."

_Bye, Jake. _Quil nodded and pressed his nose to Jacob's forehead. Leah snorted.

"Yeah, go home," Jacob said.

As soon as Quil left, Jacob phased back to his wolf form.

_Thought you were going to make out with him, _Leah snickered.

_Was that okay? _Jacob asked. _Did I say anything you didn't want me to? Did I _not _say something I should have?_

_You did great, Jake! _Seth told him.

_You could have hit Jared, _Leah thought. _I wouldn't have minded that._

_I guess we know why Embry wasn't allowed to come, _Seth thought.

Jacob was confused. _Not allowed?_

_Jake, didya see Quil? He's pretty torn up, right? I'd put ten to one that Embry's even more upset. And Embry doesn't have a Claire. There's no way Quil can just pick up and walk away from La Push. Embry might. So Sam's not going to take any chances on him getting convinced to jump ship. He doesn't want our pack any bigger than it is now._

Seth's explanation was spot-on from what little I'd picked up in Jared's thoughts. Because they had been so far out and I wasn't as familiar with Jared's mind as the other three, I hadn't really been able to hear much of his thoughts, but I'd heard enough to know that Seth was probably right.

_Really? _Jacob asked. _You think? I doubt Embry would mind shredding some Cullens._

_But he's your best friend, Jake. He and Quil would rather stand behind you than face you in a fight._

_Well, I'm glad Sam kept him home, then. This pack is big enough. _He sighed. _Okay, then. So we're good, for now. Seth, you mind keeping an eye on things for a while? Leah and I both need to crash. This _felt_ on the level, but who knows? Maybe it was a distraction. _Jacob remembered Sam's commitment to attacking us before and wondered if he would now take advantage of the fact that he could lie to them.

"Edward, please let Jacob and the Clearwaters know that we won't leave them without the benefits of a home. Talk to Jacob about it privately, please," Esme said.

I smiled. My mom was definitely, well, maternal. "Of course, Mom."

Esme patted my shoulder. "Thank you."

Satisfied that there was no attack imminent, I turned my attention back to Bella, who was doing much better after drinking the human blood.


	14. 12 Strength

12. Strength

I would owe Jacob for the rest of my existence, just for thinking negatively about the thing Bella was carrying. Because him thinking about the thing wanting blood was what had given me the idea that helped my love. The human blood had made her stronger, and she was almost completely back to being herself again. But now she was running a fever off and on. At the moment, she was swathed in a couple of thick quilts to keep herself warm. Her bodyguard sat on the floor at the end of the couch where her head was, while I sat on the other end of the couch, with her covered feet in my lap.

Jacob came into the front yard. I could tell he was exhausted.

_Everything's cool,_ he thought.

Then he caught sight of the clothes Carlisle had put out for him. He took them between his teeth and went into the woods to phase.

_Just in case this is some joke by the blonde psychopath and I have a bunch of girls' stuff here. Bet she'd love to see the look on my face as I stood there naked, holding a sundress._

I chuckled.

"Something funny?" Bella asked me.

"Jacob found the clothes we left for him outside. He thinks Rosalie's playing a joke on him and it's a dress," I told her.

"Wish I'd thought to do that," Rosalie muttered. "But it's too late now. He'll be on his guard."

Then I heard my favorite sound in the world: Bella's laugh. Not the weak cough that had become the norm over the past week. This was a full-bodied laugh, the one that sent a surge of joy through me every time I heard it. I had to laugh with her, but not because I thought Jacob's thoughts were particularly funny. Just because I was so glad to hear that familiar sound again.

When he phased, Jacob discovered that the clothes were Emmett's and put them on. _I've gotta admit, I feel better with some clothes to my name, even stinky ones that don't quite fit. It's hard not being able to just jet back home and grab another pair of old sweatpants when I need them. The homeless thing again—not having anyplace to go _back_ to. No possessions, either. That'll probably get annoying soon._

I looked up and smiled at Jacob when he came in. Just a small twitch of my mouth, enough to show my gratitude for his thoughts. Bella looked up and smiled at him, too. A lot more than just a little twitch of her mouth. She was beaming, thrilled to see Jacob again.

_What's _with _her?_ Jacob thought. _For crying out loud, she's _married_! Happily married, too—there's no question that she's in love with her vampire past the boundaries of sanity. And hugely pregnant, to top it off. So why does she have to look so damn thrilled to see me? Like I made her whole freakin' day by walking through the door. If she would just not care…Or more than that—really not want me around. It would be so much easier to stay away._

I frowned in agreement with Jacob's thoughts as I read Bella's face while she beamed at him. I was beginning to wonder why it was that Bella wanted Jacob around so much. More than before she got pregnant. It was…strange. I wished, too, that she would get over whatever attachment she felt to him, but I wasn't going to tell her that. I wasn't going to make her life harder now.

"They just wanted to talk," Jacob mumbled. He was exhausted. "No attack on the horizon."

"Yes," I answered. "I heard most of it."

"How?"

"I'm hearing you more clearly—it's a matter of familiarity and concentration. Also, your thoughts are slightly easier to pick up when you're in your human form. So I caught most of what passed out there."

"Oh." _That bugs me a little, but I don't know why. Oh well._ "Good. I hate repeating myself."

"I'd tell you to get some sleep," Bella told Jacob, "but my guess is that you're going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so there's probably no point."

_It's amazing how much better she sounds. Oh, she's drinking more blood. How much blood will it take to keep her going? At some point, will they start trotting in the neighbors? _Jacob headed for the door, counting off the seconds for Bella. "One Mississippi…two Mississippi…"

"Where's the flood, mutt?" Rosalie muttered.

"You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie?" Jacob asked without pausing or even looking at her. "Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

I chuckled. That joke was more perfect for Rosalie than Jacob knew. Rosalie was so vain.

Jacob trudged out the door and headed for the woods, exhausted. But then I remembered what Esme had asked me to tell Jacob, and I wanted to tell him before I forgot about it. I carefully lifted Bella's feet out of my lap and stood up, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked me.

"There was something I forgot to say to him," I told her.

"Let Jacob sleep—it can wait."

_Yes, _please, _let Jacob sleep, _Jacob thought.

Maybe I should let him sleep. He probably hadn't slept in almost two days. But maybe he'd be more comfortable in a bed. I'd offer him that option before he passed out on the forest floor.

"It will only take a moment," I assured Bella.

I headed quickly out the door, hoping to catch Jacob before he reached the trees. He heard my approach and turned around.

"Jeez, what _now_?" Jacob asked, annoyed and exhausted.

I hesitated. Maybe I should let him sleep before I talked to him. Maybe our offer would be better received then, when he wasn't irritable from the exhaustion.

_What's on your mind, mind reader?_ Jacob thought when I didn't speak.

"When you were speaking to Sam's delegates earlier," I murmured, "I was giving a play-by-play to Esme and Carlisle. They were concerned—"

"Look, we're not dropping our guard. You don't have to believe Sam like we do. We're keeping our eyes open regardless."

"No, no, Jacob. Not about that. We trust your judgment. Rather, Esme was concerned about the hardships this is putting your pack through. She asked me to speak to you privately about it."

_What? _"Hardships?"

"The _homeless_ part, particularly. She's very upset that you are all so…bereft."

Jacob snorted. _Vampire mother hen—bizarre._ "We're tough. Tell her not to worry."

"She'd still like to do what she can," I told him. "I got the impression that Leah prefers not to eat in her wolf form?"

"And?"

"Well, we do have normal human food here, Jacob. Keeping up appearances, and, of course, for Bella. Leah is welcome to anything she'd like. All of you are."

"I'll pass that along," he told me.

"Leah hates us."

"So?"

"So try to pass it along in such a way as to make her consider it, if you don't mind."

"I'll do what I can."

"And then there's the matter of clothes," I continued.

He glanced down at the hand-me-downs from Emmett's wardrobe. "Oh yeah. Thanks." _It's probably not good manners to mention how bad they reek._

I smiled a little. "Well, we're easily able to help out with any needs there. Alice rarely allows us to wear the same thing twice. We've got piles of brand-new clothes that are destined for Goodwill, and I'd imagine that Leah is fairly close to Esme's size…"

"Not sure how she'll feel about bloodsucker castoffs," he interrupted me. "She's not as practical as I am."

"I trust that you can present the offer in the best possible light. As well as the offer for any other physical object you might need, or transportation, or anything else at all. And showers, too, since you prefer to sleep outdoors. Please…don't consider yourselves without the benefit of a home," I said. All of a sudden, I felt just as bad as Esme did about the wolves' plight. They were homeless because they'd made the choice to protect us. Well, to protect Bella, really, but in doing so, they were protecting us, too.

Jacob stared at me for a second, blinking sleepily. It took him a long second to remember how to open his eyes. "That's, er, nice of you. Tell Esme we appreciate the, uh, thought. But the perimeter cuts through the river in a few places, so we stay pretty clean, thanks."

I snorted silently and smiled. "If you would pass the offer on, regardless."

"Sure, sure."

"Thank you."

Jacob turned away from me to head into the forest and pass out from exhaustion, but just then we both heard a cry of pain coming from the house. It was Bella. I turned around and rushed with inhuman speed back to the house. I was vaguely aware of Jacob following me.

_It doesn't feel like I have a choice. Something's wrong. I'll go see what it is. There'll be nothing I can do. And I'll feel worse._

Bella was doubled over in pain, and Carlisle, Rosalie, and Esme were hovering over her.

"Bella, you need to let me look at it," Carlisle said anxiously.

"Give me a second, Carlisle," she panted.

"Bella, I heard something crack. I need to take a look."

"Pretty sure"—pant—"it was a rib. Ow. Yep. Right there." She pointed to her left side, careful not to touch it.

So the thing was breaking her bones now. It wasn't enough just to beat her black and blue. No, it had to break her bones, too.

"I need to take an X-ray," Carlisle told her gently. "There might be splinters. We don't want it to puncture anything."

Bella took a deep breath. "Okay."

Before I could even reach out, Rosalie had Bella in her arms. I started to argue, but Rosalie bared her teeth and growled at me. "I've already got her."

Bella was stronger now, but the thing was, too. There was no way to win. You couldn't starve one without starving the other, but healing worked the same way. If we tried to get Bella stronger, the thing would get stronger, too. My hope from last night disappeared as I followed Rosalie and Carlisle up the stairs to make sure there were no splinters in the fracture.

_So they have a blood bank _and _an X-ray machine? _Jacob thought. _Guess the doc brings his work home with him._

I snorted silently as Carlisle warmed up the machine, but my worry was still plain on my face. What if this thing broke Bella apart before we could get it out of her?

"It's okay, Edward," she whispered.

I tried to smile as Carlisle took the X-ray. He sighed in relief.

"It's a clean break," he told her. "We'll tape it up."

Bella was relieved now, too. "Thanks, Carlisle."

When he finished taping her rib up, we headed back down the stairs. Jacob was passed out on the floor, and Alice was sitting next to him.

"Is she all right?" Alice asked, agonized.

"It was a clean break," I told her.

"Well, I guess that's good," she said grudgingly. _I wish she'd let us get it out of her. I can't stand this. I can't stand not knowing if she's going to be okay or not._

That made two of us. Well, really, more than two. Carlisle was, of course, on the side of keeping Bella safe, and so were Alice and Jasper. Emmett was siding with us now that he saw how much the monster was hurting her, but he wasn't going to admit it out loud because Rosalie was so adamant about Bella keeping the thing.

Jasper and Emmett had thrown themselves into research, trying to find out anything about the old legends of these creatures that humans conceived with vampires. We knew, because of Kaure, that there were legends of them. We just had to figure out what the legends were. Then, maybe, we would be able to know how to get this thing out of Bella safely.

Alice couldn't see the thing, and Bella's future was hazy now because her future was so wound up with its future. So, much as it pained her, Alice tried to stay away from Bella, because it gave her a headache to see Bella's hazy future. I felt horrible for her. She loved Bella as much as I did, albeit in a different way. It pained her to watch this thing hurting Bella just as much as it pained me.

Jacob slept all day and through the night. Alice had gone and gotten a pillow for him, but let him stay on the floor. Early the next morning, Seth came to find out what had happened to Jacob. Bella was having another of her cold flashes, and I suddenly had an idea for how to keep Bella warm. I asked him if he'd be so kind as to sit next to her. Of course, Seth obliged. He was really a good kid. He had one of the kindest, most sincere minds I'd ever heard. And he was genuinely worried about Bella.

I moved to the end of the couch and sat next to Bella, sitting a bit of a distance away from her so she wouldn't get colder.

"Why don't you stay for breakfast, Seth?" Esme asked. "We do have human food here. We can cook something for you."

"You don't have to cook just for me," Seth said. "I'll live."

"It's okay, Seth," Bella told him. "I have to eat, too, you know. I'm pretty hungry myself."

I kissed Bella's forehead. "I'll make you two some breakfast."

She smiled at me, one of those smiles that knocked the breath out of me every time. "Thanks."

"Make enough for Jacob and Leah, too," Esme told me.

"Of course, Mom," I said. Did she really think I'd forget about the other two people who needed food?

I brought plates of food, omelets and cinnamon rolls, to Bella and Seth, and then went to sit on Bella's other side, taking her hand. Alice and Rosalie sat on the floor on the same side I was on. Since the wolves were here, Alice couldn't see anything, so she was able to be with Bella.

"Hey, I'll be back," Seth said. "I want to take some food to my sister."

I smiled at him. "Of course. Good idea."

Seth was back in record time and fixed himself a mountain-sized plate of food. He sat back down next to Bella, putting his arm around her again and picking at the food with his other hand.

"Hey, Edward, can I ask you something?" he asked suddenly.

"Of course, Seth," I told him.

"Why haven't you guys taken off yet? Gone up to Tanya's place or something. Somewhere too far for Sam to come after you. You don't have to answer if I'm being rude."

"Not at all, Seth. Mostly, I don't want to take any risks moving Bella. Yes, she's doing better, but we don't want to chance anything. She still can't move around much, and the…fetus is beating her black and blue, and now breaking her bones."

"And it takes some time to build up the kind of medical access that I've gained here," Carlisle interjected. "I have all everything I need to take care of Bella here, and the credentials to get more. That wouldn't be the case if we went to Alaska. I'm actually a bit anxious to make a hunting run, not only because we need to hunt, but also because I need to buy some more blood for Bella. The stock is getting kind of low, and I don't like cutting it this close."

"You can _buy_ blood?" Seth asked curiously.

Carlisle laughed. "Yes, if you're a doctor with the right credentials."

Jacob started to stir. He was awake.

"About time," Rosalie mumbled. "The chainsaw impression was getting a little tired."

"Hey, Jake's coming around!" Seth exclaimed.

Jacob took in Seth's position critically. Seth was lolling on the couch, with one arm wrapped casually around Bella's shoulders and the plate of food I'd just given him in his lap.

_What the hell?_ Jacob thought.

"He came to find you," I told Jacob as he got to his feet. "And Esme convinced him to stay for breakfast."

Seth turned to look at Jacob. "Yeah, Jake—I was just checking to see if you were okay 'cause you didn't ever phase back. Leah got worried. I _told_ her you probably just crashed human, but you know how she is. Anyway, they had all this food and, dang"—he turned to me—"man, you can _cook._"

"Thank you," I murmured.

Jacob was still annoyed by Seth's arm being around Bella.

"Bella got cold," I told him quietly.

_Right,_ Jacob thought. _None of my business, anyway. She doesn't belong to me._

Seth heard my comment and took in Jacob's expression. _Jeez, it's not like I'm making out with her or something._ But suddenly, he needed both hands to eat. He took his arm off Bella and dug in.

Jacob walked over and stood a few feet away from the couch. "Leah running patrol?" he asked Seth. He was still groggy.

"Yeah," Seth answered, mouth full. "She's on it. No worries. She'll howl if there's anything. We traded off around midnight. I ran twelve hours." He was proud of himself for that.

"Midnight? Wait a minute—what time is it now?"

"'Bout dawn." Seth glanced at the window.

_Well, _damn. _I slept through the rest of the day and the whole night—dropped the ball. _"Crap. Sorry about that, Seth. Really. You shoulda kicked me awake."

"Naw, man, you needed some serious sleep. You haven't taken a break since when? Night before your last patrol for Sam? Like forty hours? Fifty? You're not a machine, Jake. 'Sides, you didn't miss anything at all."

_Nothing at all?_ He glanced at Bella, taking in how much better she looked, and the fact that there was no longer an IV connected to her. Bella saw him appraising and grinned at him.

"How's the rib?" he asked.

"Taped up nice and tight. I don't even feel it."

Jacob rolled his eyes and I gritted my teeth. She wasn't fooling either of us.

"What's for breakfast?" Jacob asked sarcastically. "O negative or AB positive?"

Bella stuck her tongue out at him. "Omelets," she said, but glanced down at the cup of blood that was wedged between her leg and mine.

"Go get some breakfast, Jake," Seth said. "There's a bunch in the kitchen. You've got to be empty."

Jacob's stomach growled, but he made no move to head for the kitchen. "What's Leah having for breakfast?" he asked Seth critically.

"Hey, I took food to her before I ate _anything,_" he said defensively. "She said she'd rather eat roadkill, but I bet she caves. These cinnamon rolls…" He was at a loss for words.

"I'll go hunt with her, then," Jacob said.

Seth sighed as Jacob turned to leave.

"A moment, Jacob?" Carlisle asked before Jacob could get out the door.

"Yeah?" Jacob said, turning to face my father.

Carlisle approached Jacob, but stopped a few feet away from him, a little farther away than two normal humans having a conversation, trying to give Jacob his space. Jacob appreciated the gesture.

"Speaking of hunting," he began in a serious tone. "That's going to be an issue for my family. I understand that our previous truce is inoperative at the moment, so I wanted your advice. Will Sam be hunting for us outside of the perimeter you've created? We don't want to take a chance with hurting your family—or losing any of ours. If you were in our shoes, how would you proceed?"

Jacob was a little surprised. _What would I know about being in a bloodsucker's shoes? But, then again, I do know Sam._ "It's a risk," he told Carlisle. "Sam's calmed down some, but I'm pretty sure that in his head, the treaty is void. As long as he thinks the tribe, or any other human, is in real danger, he's not going to ask questions first, if you know what I mean. But, with all that, his priority is going to be La Push. There really aren't enough of them to keep a decent watch on the people while putting out hunting parties big enough to do much damage. I'd bet he's keeping it close to home."

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully. _So we'll go farther away than normal, I guess._

"So I guess I'd say, go out together, just in case," Jacob continued. "And probably you should go in the day, 'cause we'd be expecting night. Traditional vampire stuff. You're fast—go over the mountains and hunt far enough away that there's no chance he'd send anyone that far from home."

"And leave Bella behind, unprotected?" Carlisle asked critically.

Jacob snorted. "What are we, chopped liver?"

Carlisle laughed, but then was serious again. "Jacob, you can't fight against your brothers."

Jacob narrowed his eyes. "I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard, but if they were really coming to kill her—I would be able to stop them."

Carlisle shook his head anxiously. "No, I didn't mean that you would be…incapable. But that it would be very wrong. I can't have that on my conscience."

"It wouldn't be on yours, Doc. It would be on mine. And I can take it."

"No, Jacob. We will make sure that our actions don't make that a necessity." He frowned. "We'll go three at a time," he decided after a second. "That's probably the best we can do."

"I don't know, Doc. Dividing down the middle isn't the best strategy."

"We've got some extra abilities that will even it up. If Edward is one of the three, he'll be able to give us a few miles' radius."

Did Carlisle actually think I would leave Bella? I glared at him.

Carlisle backtracked quickly. "I'm sure there are other ways, too. Alice, I would imagine you could see which routes would be a mistake?"

"The ones that disappear," Alice said, nodding. "Easy."

Bella stared anxiously at Alice. She liked having Alice around, but knew that we couldn't all stay behind with her. I was sure she wanted me to go hunting too, but she knew I wouldn't leave her, so she didn't even bother suggesting it.

"Okay, then," Jacob said. "That's settled. I'll just be on my way, Seth. I'll expect you back at dusk, so get a nap in there somewhere, all right?"

"Sure, Jake," Seth agreed. "I'll phase back as soon as I'm done. Unless…" He hesitated, looking at Bella. "Do you need me?"

"She's got blankets," Jacob snapped.

"I'm fine, Seth, thanks," Bella said quickly.

And then Esme came in the room, carrying a covered dish of food. "Jacob," she said quietly. "I know it's…unappetizing to you, the idea of eating here, where it smells so unpleasant. But I would feel much better if you would take some food with you when you go. I know you can't go home, and that's because of us. Please—ease some of my remorse. Take something to eat." She held the food out to Jacob, her expression pleading.

"Uh, sure, sure," Jacob mumbled. "I guess. Maybe Leah's still hungry or something." He reached out and took the food with one hand, holding it at arm's length. _I'll go dump it under a tree or something. I don't want her to feel bad. _And then he remembered me, and turned to stare at me. _Don't you say anything to her! Let her think I ate it. _He didn't look to see my nod. _He'd _better_ be in agreement,_ he thought to himself. _Bloodsucker owes me._

"Thank you, Jacob," Esme said with a smile.

_How does a stone face have _dimples_, for crying out loud?_ "Um, thank you." _This is the problem with hanging out with vampires. You get used to them. They start messing up the way you see the world. They start feeling like friends._

"Will you come back later, Jake?" Bella asked.

"Uh, I don't know."

She pressed her lips together. "Please?" she begged. "I might get cold."

He inhaled deeply through his nose, trying to calm himself, and winced at the smell. "Maybe," he said.

"Jacob?" Esme asked as he was backing toward the door. She took a few steps toward him. "I left a basket of clothes on the porch. They're for Leah. They're freshly washed—I tried to touch them as little as possible." She frowned. _They probably still smell horrible to them, though. _"Do you mind taking them to her?"

"On it," Jacob muttered, and then ducked out.


	15. 13 Plans

13. Plans

Seth stayed with us through most of the day. He asked about our plans for keeping Bella alive, more about why we weren't leaving, and a little about what Bella would be like right after her transformation. He wasn't being rude about it, and he kept on telling us that we didn't have to answer if he was being rude. He was just curious. He liked all of us, minus Rosalie. But, then, I didn't know of anyone in the house who _did_ like Rosalie right now except for Emmett and Bella.

He also asked Carlisle why he thought Bella was running a fever off and on. A very good question indeed, one I'd been wondering about, too.

"I'm not really sure what to make of it," Carlisle told us. "She could just be sick. Her immune system can't be in peak form right now. But I think we should just keep doing what you're doing right now, keeping her temperature stable with your body temperatures."

In the middle of the day, while I was cooling Bella down, there was another crack and another screech of pain from Bella. This time, I carried her up the stairs to have Carlisle check it. It was another rib, and again, we taped it up and brought her back downstairs. I set her down next to Seth, and Seth carefully put one arm around her to keep her warm.

Rosalie took in my worried expression. "Even normal human babies have been known to break ribs," she told me.

I glared at her and contemplated ripping her head off. Her act was getting old very quickly.

Charlie called in the middle of the day to talk to Bella, like he did every day.

I didn't pay much attention to Bella's conversation with her father, but I heard enough to annoy me. She was telling him that she was still sick, but mending. That really wasn't the brightest thing to do. Especially not since, no matter what, she wouldn't be able to see him again. If she became a vampire, she wouldn't be able to see him again, and…I didn't want to think of the alternative.

When she hung up with Charlie, I went to talk to Bella about it.

"Bella, love, what's your plan with Charlie? Why are you telling him that you're mending?" I asked her.

"I can't stand for him to be worried about me," she told me. "And maybe, once I'm under control, I'll be able to see him again."

"You'll be different, love. He'll see the changes. You know you can't tell him the truth."

"Right, but maybe he'll make some wrong assumptions about us. The way I did in the beginning. And then we can just go along with it, and I'll be able to see him every once in a while."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well," she told me, "when Jacob phased, he wasn't allowed to tell me about werewolves. But he'd told me some of his tribe's legends that involved werewolves before he believed any of it. So he told me that I already knew about him and made me guess. So I'm thinking that Charlie will notice a difference and he'll make a wrong assumption about us. Then we'll just go along with whatever he thinks, and I'll be able to see him."

"If you're sure this is a good idea…"

"I'm sure, Edward. I'm going to keep my heart beating, and I can't stand for Charlie to be so worried about me. I can't let him think I died."

Really, I thought this plan was ridiculous, but I wasn't as hopeful as she was that she was going to survive this, and I wasn't going to make her unhappy now. So I'd go along with her plan. "All right, love. If you think this is the best way, I'll trust your judgment."

She smiled at me. "I do." And then she curled up against Seth's arm and went to sleep. Seth followed suit soon after.

About an hour later, Emmett and Jasper came down the stairs, their expressions hopeful.

"We think we've found the answer, bro," Jasper told us.

"Yeah, this seems very promising," Emmett agreed.

"What did you find?" I asked.

"Well, from what we can gather, these things are surrounded by a membrane as thick as our skins, and as tough," Emmett began. "Most of the time, the…fetuses…chew their way out of the mother, which is why the mothers die."

I fought back a scream of horror.

"So, we were thinking that if you tried to get the baby out by…cutting her open like a doctor would do a C-section on a normal baby, and then you bit through the membrane, you would be able to save Bella," Jasper finished. "It would be a controlled environment that way, and you would be able to make sure that the thing doesn't hurt Bella too badly. And then you could bite her right afterwards, and the venom would heal whatever happened during the surgery."

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I couldn't do it. I couldn't be the one to cut open my angel, leave her mangled and bleeding for the venom to heal. It couldn't be me. It did make sense, but I couldn't be the one to do it.

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," Rosalie said, suddenly thrilled by the prospect.

"I…can't," I choked out.

"If you can't do it, I will," Rosalie snapped.

I growled. There was no way Rosalie was doing this procedure. She didn't care enough about Bella to be concerned with whether she lived or died. All she cared about was the thing, and whether or not Bella lived was an insignificant detail.

"No, Rosalie, you're not trained enough," Carlisle said softly. _Don't worry, Edward. I wouldn't dream of letting Rose do the procedure. She doesn't care enough about Bella._ "I'll do it. It does make sense. Edward, I promise you, I will make sure Bella survives."

"What if this doesn't work? What if it kills her? What if her heart doesn't keep beating?"

"It will, son. Humans have caesarian sections all the time. It'll be fine. She just needs to keep her heart beating until you bite her."

"What if the venom from the bite isn't enough, after that procedure? What if…?" I trailed off, thinking of the very worst possibilities.

"Calm down, son," Carlisle told me. "She'll survive. Well, she'll suffer excruciating pain for a few days like we all did, but after that, she'll be fine."

"Would it work faster if we injected the venom straight into her heart?" I asked suddenly, voicing an errant thought that came into my head.

"Hmm…very interesting. Quite innovative. But the venom will dissolve a normal syringe," he mused.

Alice spoke then. "It would dissolve plastic or glass, yes. But it wouldn't dissolve a steel syringe."

"I could make a syringe out of steel," Rosalie said suddenly. "That is a good idea. You know I'm good with stuff like that. I promise I'll make it strong enough, Edward," she said, turning to me. "I know you need Bella to survive if at all possible."

I glared at her. _If at all possible? _Had she actually just said that? I would kill that thing Bella was carrying, my mutant spawn, a thousand times over before I would let Bella die.

Bella woke up then, and I was glad she had been asleep through the last five minutes. She was sweating.

"Are you hot?" Carlisle asked her.

"No, I'm fine. Let Seth sleep," she said.

"Bella, don't downplay anything. It doesn't help me care for you or the…fetus for you to be a martyr."

"Okay, fine, I'm a little hot. Some help?" she whispered, not wanting to wake Seth.

I gently shook Seth to wake him up.

"What time is it?" Seth asked groggily.

"It's about nine o'clock," I told him.

"Nine?" he asked, suddenly jumping up. "Oh, crap! Jake said he wanted me at dusk!"

Well, at least I hadn't had to move him to get to Bella. I sat down next to my wife and took her gently in my arms, and kissed her hair as she leaned her head against my shoulder.

"Seth, can you ask Jake to stop by, please?" Bella asked him.

"Yes, please do," Alice echoed. "I'm tired of hanging out in the attic like the vampire bat in the belfry."

"Sure thing. I'm sure he'll come," he said as he ran out the door and into the forest to phase.

"He won't come," Bella said when Seth walked out the door. "It's too painful for him to be here."

"He'll come," I said, almost without thinking about it. Had I really just said that? Had I really just assured Bella that my rival for her affections was going to come back here?

But I couldn't deny her anything now, no matter what it was. If it meant that she had to have Jacob here, well, she could have Jacob here. I kept thinking about the conversation I'd just had with my family, about the plan that Jasper and Emmett had come up with to get the thing out of Bella. It was so dangerous, so risky. So many things could go wrong. Her heart could stop beating, or be beating too weakly to respond to the venom. The venom could not heal her wounds completely. The thing could decide to chew its way out before we did the procedure. And, once more, all of my hope faded. With the way Bella was growing, I would probably only have a few days left.

I couldn't speak to tell Bella how much I loved her, to thank her for this past…had it really only been just under two years? I couldn't tell her that I needed her to keep her heart beating. That I needed her to live. I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I just sat there, silently holding her and every so often kissed her hair, her forehead, the tip of her nose, any part of her that I could reach without moving her.

"Rose, can you take me up to the bathroom?" Bella asked a while later.

Rosalie very carefully picked Bella up, and I could tell Bella was in pain, no matter how much she tried not to show it. Esme took Bella's place next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

_It's going to work out, son. I know it is. There would be no sense to you falling in love with her if you were just going to lose her so soon afterwards. She'll be fine._

I wished I could be as optimistic as Esme was about this. Once again, I was kicking myself for ever agreeing to that damn honeymoon.

Jacob walked in while Rosalie and Bella were upstairs and panicked when he didn't find them in the living room.

"She's all right," I whispered to him. "Or, the same, I should say."

"Hello, Jacob," Esme said. "I'm so glad you came back."

"Me, too," Alice sighed as she walked down the stairs.

"Uh, hey," Jacob said. _It feels weird to try to be polite. _"Where's Bella?"

"Bathroom," Alice told him. "Mostly fluid diet, you know. Plus, the whole pregnancy thing does that to you, I hear."

"Ah."

"Oh, wonderful," Rosalie said as she carried Bella back down the stairs. "I knew I smelled something nasty."

And, just like before, the second Bella saw Jacob, she smiled a heartbreakingly beautiful smile at him.

_It's so unfair,_ Jacob thought.

I couldn't argue with that.

"Jacob," Bella breathed. "You came."

"Hi, Bells," he said, trying very hard not to let his pain show.

Rosalie set Bella back down on the couch, and her face went white with pain, even though Rosalie did do her best not to jostle her. I ran my hand across her forehead and down her neck, trying to ascertain her temperature. She felt a little cold to me, but, then, I wasn't exactly the best judge of what was normal human temperature.

"Are you cold?" I murmured.

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"Bella, you know what Carlisle told you," Rosalie reminded her. "Don't downplay _anything._ It doesn't help us take care of either of you."

"Okay, I'm a little cold. Edward, can you hand me that blanket?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Isn't that sort of the point of me being here?"

"You just walked in," Bella told him. "After running all day, I'd bet. Put your feet up. I'll probably warm up again in no time."

Jacob ignored Bella and went to sit on the floor next to the sofa while she was still speaking. He was trying to figure out how to warm Bella up, because she looked so fragile. Finally, he went to sit on the couch next to her, just letting his arm run along the length of hers, and held her hand. He reached his other hand across her and put it on her cheek.

"Thanks, Jake," Bella said, shivering.

"Yeah," he said.

And then his stomach growled.

"Rosalie, why don't you get Jacob something from the kitchen?" Alice asked. She was sitting behind the sofa now, since Jacob, her pain killer, was here.

"Thanks, Alice, but I don't think I'd want to eat something Blondie's spit in. I'd bet my system wouldn't take too kindly to venom," he said.

"Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality."

"Of _course_ not," Rosalie said in a sugary voice that everyone in the room immediately distrusted.

I sighed. Rosalie would be Rosalie.

"You'd tell me if she poisoned it, right?" Jacob asked me.

"Yes," I said.

There was a lot of banging in the kitchen, and I read in Rosalie's thoughts that she was making one of Esme's mixing bowls into a dog bowl, and scratching _Fido_ on the side of it. I sighed again, but smiled just a little. It _was_ pretty funny.

Rosalie was back in a matter of minutes. "Enjoy, mongrel," she said, placing the "dog bowl," containing steak and a baked potato, in front of Jacob. _See, Edward, I'll be able to make that syringe with no problem._

I wished she wouldn't remind me of that. Remind me how little time I had left with Bella.

"Thanks, Blondie," Jacob said, impressed by her quick craftsmanship.

Rosalie snorted.

"Hey, do you know what they call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever."

"I've heard that one, too," Rosalie said acidly.

"I'll keep trying," Jacob promised, and then dug in to the food. _This is good, even with the vampire stink in the air. I'm getting really used to that. Huh. Not something I'd been wanting to do, exactly…_

As Jacob was finishing, Bella ran her fingers through Jacob's hair and patted it down against the back of his neck.

"Time for a haircut, huh?" he asked her.

"You're getting a little shaggy," she replied. "Maybe—"

"Let me guess, someone around here used to cut hair in a salon in Paris?"

Bella chuckled. "Probably."

"No thanks. I'm good for a few more weeks."

_Wonder how long _she's _good for._

Oh, great. Jacob was even making me think of the short time, and he didn't even know about the conversation I'd had with my family a few hours ago.

"So…um…what's the, er, date?" Jacob asked. "You know, the due date for the little monster."

Bella smacked the back of his head lightly.

"I'm serious," he said. "I wanna know how long I'm gonna have to be here." _How long _you're _gonna be here._

Bella furrowed her brow. "I don't know. Not exactly. Obviously, we're not going with the nine-month model here, and we can't get an ultrasound, so Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am. Normal people are supposed to gain about forty centimeters here"—she ran her finger along the middle of her stomach—"when the baby is fully grown. One centimeter for every week. I was thirty this morning, and I've been gaining about two centimeters a day, sometimes more."

_Two weeks to a day, the days flying by,_ Jacob thought. _Her life speeding by in fast-forward. How many days does that give her, if she's counting to forty? Four?_

I froze. He was right. About four days. That was how long I had left with Bella. I turned away so Bella wouldn't see the look of horror on my face. But Jacob saw it in the reflection.

_He's the burning man again._

"You okay?" Bella asked Jacob when he didn't speak.

Jacob just nodded, unsure of how his voice would come out. _Funny how having a deadline only makes it harder to think about leaving, or having her leave. I'm glad Seth brought that up, so I know they're staying here. It would be intolerable, wondering if they were about to go, to take one or two or three of those four days. My four days._

I wanted to growl, but I refrained. I knew how much Jacob was suffering, because he was suffering only a tiny portion of the amount I was suffering. But it wasn't his four days. It was _my_ four days. Four days left with Bella.

_Also funny how, even knowing that it's almost over, the hold she has on me only gets harder to break. Almost like it's related to her expanding belly—as if by getting bigger, she's gaining gravitational force. I know it's not my imagination that my need for her is stronger than ever. Why is that? Because she's dying? Or knowing that even if she doesn't, still—best case scenario—she'll be changing into something else that I won't know or understand?_

Jacob started to cry, and Bella ran one finger across his cheekbone, catching some of the tears.

"It's going to be okay," Bella crooned.

_It doesn't matter that her words mean nothing. She's saying them the way people sing nursery rhymes to kids. Rock-a-bye, baby. _"Right," Jacob muttered.

Bella curled against Jacob's arm, resting her head on his shoulder. "I didn't think you would come. Seth said you would, and so did Edward, but I didn't believe them."

"Why not?"

"You're not happy here. But you came anyway."

"You wanted me here."

"I know. But you didn't have to come, because it's not fair for me to want you here. I would have understood."

I finally put my expression back together and looked at the TV as Rosalie started flipping through the channels.

"Thank you for coming," Bella whispered after a minute of silence.

"Can I ask you something?" Jacob asked.

"Of course."

The question Jacob was about to ask was something I wanted to know myself, but would never in a million years have asked Bella to tell me. So I listened, but I pretended not to.

"Why _do_ you want me here?" Jacob asked Bella. "Seth could keep you warm, and he's probably easier to be around, happy little punk. But when _I_ walk in the door, you smile like I'm your favorite person in the world."

"You're one of them," Bella told him.

"That sucks, you know."

"Yeah," Bella sighed. "Sorry."

"Why, though?" he pressed. "You didn't answer that."

I no longer pretended to concentrate on the TV. I just stared blankly out the window, waiting for Bella's answer and watching their reflection in the glass.

"It feels…_complete_ when you're here, Jacob. Like all my family is together. I mean, I guess that's what it's like—I've never had a big family before now. It's nice." She smiled. "But it's just not whole unless you're here."

"I'll never be part of your family, Bella," Jacob said. _I could have been. I would have been good there. But that was just a distant future that died long before it had a chance to live._

"You've always been a part of my family," she disagreed.

Jacob gritted his teeth. "That's a crap answer."

"What's a good one?"

"How about, 'Jacob, I get a kick out of your pain.'"

Bella flinched. "You'd like that better?"

"It's easier, at least. I could wrap my head around it. I could deal with it."

Bella shut her eyes, exhausted, and frowned. "We got off track, Jake. Out of balance. You're supposed to be part of my life—I can feel that, and so can you." She paused for a second, like she was waiting for him to deny that he felt that way, but he didn't. When he didn't speak, she continued. "But not like this. We did something wrong. No. I did. I did something wrong, and we got off track…" Her voice trailed off, and then her face relaxed and she started snoring. She'd fallen asleep again.

"She's exhausted," I said softly, not wanting to wake her. "It's been a long day. A hard day. I think she would have gone to sleep earlier, but she was waiting for you."

Jacob didn't look at me. "Seth said it broke another of her ribs."

"Yes. It's making it hard for her to breathe."

"Great."

"Let me know when she gets hot again," I told him, and I wished she was hot now, so I could hold her again.

"Yeah," Jacob agreed. _She still has goose bumps on the arm that's not touching me._

Jacob had barely raised his hand to look for a blanket when I grabbed one that was draped over the arm of the sofa and flung it out, draping it over my wife.

_Occasionally, the mind-reading thing saves time,_ Jacob thought. _For example, maybe I won't have to make a big production out of the accusation about what's going on with Charlie. That mess. Edward will just _hear_ exactly how furious—_

"Yes," I agreed quietly. "It's not a good idea."

"Then why?" he asked. _Why is Bella telling her father she's _on the mend _when it will only make him more miserable?_

"She can't bear his anxiety."

"So it's better—"

"No. It's _not_ better. But I'm not going to force her to do anything that makes her unhappy now. Whatever happens, this makes her feel better. I'll deal with the rest afterward."

_That doesn't sound right. Bella wouldn't just shuffle Charlie's pain off to some later date, for someone else to face, even dying. That's not her. If I know Bella, she has to have some other plan._

"She's very sure she's going to live," I told Jacob.

"But not human."

"No, not human. But she hopes to see Charlie again, anyway."

_Oh, this is just getting better and better. _"See Charlie," he said, finally looking at me, his eyes bugging out of his head. "Afterwards. See Charlie when she's all sparkly white with the bright red eyes. I'm not a bloodsucker, so maybe I'm missing something, but _Charlie_ seems like kind of a strange choice for her first meal."

I sighed. "She knows she won't be able to be near him for at least a year. She thinks she can stall. Tell Charlie she has to go to a special hospital on the other side of the world. Keep in contact through phone calls…" I trailed off. Bella's plan sounded even more ridiculous as I said it out loud.

"That's insane."

"Yes."

"Charlie's not stupid. Even if she doesn't kill him, he's going to notice a difference."

"She's sort of banking on that."

Jacob just stared at me, waiting for me to explain.

"She wouldn't be aging, of course, so that would set a time limit, even if Charlie accepted whatever excuse she comes up with for the changes." I smiled a little. "Do you remember when you tried to tell her about your transformation? How you made her guess?"

Jacob clenched his free hand into a fist. "She told you about that?"

"Yes. She was explaining her…idea. You see, she's not allowed to tell Charlie the truth—it would be very dangerous for him. But he's a smart, practical man. She thinks he'll come up with his own explanation. She assumes he'll get it wrong." I snorted. "After all, we hardly adhere to vampire canon. He'll make some wrong assumption about us, like she did in the beginning, and we'll go along with it. She thinks she'll be able to see him…from time to time."

"Insane," Jacob repeated.

"Yes."

_It's weak of him to let her get her way on this, just to keep her happy now. It won't turn out well. Which makes me think that he's probably not expecting her to live to try out her crazy plan. Placating her, so that she can be happy for a little while longer. Like four more days._

"I'll deal with whatever comes," I whispered, turning my face down and away so he couldn't see my agonized expression in the reflection. He was right. I wasn't expecting Bella to live. Not after what Emmett and Jasper had discovered this afternoon. "I won't cause her pain now."

"Four days?" Jacob asked, his voice agonized.

I didn't look up. "Approximately."

"Then what?"

"What do you mean, exactly?"

_Well, Bella said the thing was wrapped up nice and tight in something strong, something like vampire skin. So how does that work? How does it get out?_

"From what little research we've been able to do, it would appear the creatures use their own teeth to escape the womb," I whispered without looking up.

Jacob paused to swallow back the bile in his throat. "Research?" he asked weakly.

"That's why you haven't seen Jasper and Emmett around. That's what Carlisle is doing now. Trying to decipher ancient stories and myths, as much as we can with what we have to work with here, looking for anything that might help us to predict the creature's behavior."

_Stories? If there are myths, then…_

"Then this thing is not the first of its kind?" I asked, anticipating his question. "Maybe. It's all very sketchy. The myths could easily be the products of fear and imagination. Though…"—I hesitated—"your myths are true, are they not? Perhaps these are, too. They do seem to be localized, linked…"

"How did you find…?"

"There was a woman we encountered in South America. She'd been raised in the traditions of her people. She'd heard warnings about such creatures, old stories that had been passed down."

"What were the warnings?" Jacob whispered.

"That the creature must be killed immediately. Before it could gain too much strength."

_Just like Sam thought. Was he right?_

"Of course, their legends say the same of us. That we must be destroyed. That we are soulless murderers."

_Two for two._

I chuckled once with no humor.

"What did their stories say about the…mothers?" Jacob asked.

I couldn't speak. Agony coursed through me. There were no survivors in the stories.

Rosalie scoffed. "Of course there were no survivors," she said, blunt and uncaring. "Giving birth in the middle of a disease-infested swamp with a medicine man smearing sloth spit across your face to drive out the evil spirits was never the safest method. Even the normal births went badly half the time. None of them had what this baby has—caregivers with an idea of what the baby needs, who try to meet those needs. A doctor with a totally unique knowledge of vampire nature. A plan in place to deliver the baby as safely as possible. Venom that will repair anything that goes wrong. The baby will be fine. And those other mothers would probably have survived if they'd had that—if they even existed in the first place. Something I am not convinced of." She sniffed disdainfully.

_The baby, the baby, _Jacob thought. _Like that's all that matters. Bella's life is a minor detail to her—easy to blow off._

Jacob was right. And Rosalie's little speech there was the last straw. Completely oblivious, Rosalie turned back towards the TV. My hands almost unconsciously curved into claws, and I leaned forward shifting into a crouch. She was going to lose at least one limb for this.

_Allow me,_ Jacob suggested.

I paused, raising one eyebrow.

Jacob silently lifted his doggy bowl, still containing some food, off the floor. Then, with a quick, powerful flip of his wrist, he threw it into the back of Rosalie's head so hard that—with an earsplitting _bang_—it smashed flat before it ricocheted across the room and snapped the round top piece off the thick newel post at the foot of the stairs.

Bella somehow stayed asleep through that.

"Dumb blonde," Jacob muttered.

Rosalie turned her head slowly to glare at Jacob. Her eyes were blazing. "You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair."

That did it. Jacob, Alice, and I all laughed. That had been way more gratifying than dismembering Rosalie.

Jacob and I both wondered why Rosalie didn't spring. But then we realized that our laughter had woken Bella up, although she had stayed asleep through the real noise.

"What's so funny?" Bella mumbled.

"I got food in her hair," Jacob said, still laughing.

"I'm not going to forget this, dog," Rosalie hissed.

"S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory," he said. "Just blow in her ear."

"Get some new jokes," she snapped.

"C'mon, Jake. Leave Rose alo—" Bella broke off mid-sentence, sucking in a sharp breath and arching her back. I ripped the blanket off of her so I could see what was happening.

"He's just," she panted, "stretching."

Her lips were white, and she had her jaw clenched tight, like she was trying to hold back a scream. I put my hands on either side of her face.

"Carlisle?" I called in a tense voice.

"Right here," Carlisle said.

"Okay," Bella said, still panting. "Think it's over. Poor kid doesn't have enough room, that's all. He's getting so big."

_It's really hard to take, that adoring tone she uses to describe the thing that's tearing her up. Especially after Rosalie's callousness. Makes me wish I could throw something at Bella, too, _Jacob thought.

I couldn't argue with that. I was beating myself up over impregnating my love with a life-sucking monster and what was she doing? Gloating over it like it was just any baby. Sickening.

"You know, he reminds me of you, Jake," she said in the same affectionate tone, still gasping for air.

"Do _not_ compare me to that thing," Jacob spat through his teeth.

"I just meant your growth spurt," she said.

_Looks like I hurt her feelings. Good._

"You shot right up," she continued. "I could watch you getting taller by the minute. He's like that, too. Growing so fast."

Jacob bit his tongue to keep from letting loose a stream of profanities. _I taste blood. Of course, it'll heal before I can swallow. That's what Bella needs. To be strong like me, to be able to heal…_

Bella took an easier breath, then relaxed back into the sofa, going back to sleep.

"Hmm," Carlisle murmured, looking at Jacob. _Both Jacob and the…fetus grow incredibly fast. And Alice can't see either of them. Are these similarities gene-deep? Does the…fetus have twenty-four chromosomal pairs?_

"What?" Jacob demanded.

I cocked my head to the side, contemplating this. It seemed plausible. Very plausible. What would that mean as far as predicting the creature's behavior, though?

"You know that I was wondering about the fetus's genetic makeup, Jacob. About his chromosomes," Carlisle told him.

"What of it?"

"Well, taking your similarities into consideration—"

"Similarit_ies_?" Jacob growled, not appreciating the plural.

"The accelerated growth, and the fact that Alice cannot see either of you."

Jacob's face went blank. _Oh. I forgot about the other one._

"Well, I wonder if that means we have an answer. If the similarities are gene-deep."

"Twenty-four pairs," I muttered under my breath.

"You don't know that," Jacob said.

"No. But it's interesting to speculate," Carlisle said, trying to pacify Jacob.

"Yeah. Just _fascinating_."

Bella started to snore again, accenting Jacob's sarcasm nicely, as Carlisle and I discussed what this could mean for the behavior of the creature Bella was carrying.


	16. 14 Change

14. Change

Jacob managed to get a little bit of sleep while he was playing the role of Bella's space heater once again. I was glad. He needed to sleep. He was too worried about Bella and his pack to have slept much in the past few days. I woke him when Bella's face was flushed and took his spot to cool her back down, glad to finally be able to hold her again.

_Maybe I can actually get some work done. We'll go check out the woods, make sure it's safe for them to hunt._

"Thank you," I told him. "If the route is clear, they'll go today."

"I'll let you know," Jacob said as he headed out the door.

_Morning, Jacob, _Leah greeted him when he'd phased.

_Good, you're up. How long's Seth been out?_

_Not out yet,_ Seth thought sleepily. _Almost there. What do you need?_

_You think you got another hour in you?_ Jacob asked him.

_Sure thing. No problem,_ Seth said, shaking off the exhaustion.

_Let's make the deep run, _Jacob told Leah. _Seth, take the perimeter._

_Gotcha,_ Seth thought, jogging off to do his reconnaissance work.

_Off on another vampire errand, _Leah grumbled.

_You got a problem with that? _Jacob asked.

_Of _course _not. I just _love _to coddle those darling leeches._

I chuckled quietly, careful not to wake Bella.

_Good. Let's see how fast we can run._

_Okay, I'm definitely up for _that_! _Leah was undoubtedly the fastest, and she enjoyed showing it.

_Nose to the ground, Leah. This isn't a race, it's a reconnaissance mission._

_I can do both and still kick your butt._

_I know._

Just before they went past the point where I couldn't hear them anymore, they passed the trail that everyone but Rosalie and I had made to the cottage Esme was renovating for Bella and I. It was absolutely perfect for Bella. She was going to love it. I wished I could feel as optimistic about Bella's chance for survival as Esme seemed to be. But, if Bella did survive, I was sure Esme and Carlisle would _want_ us to have a place of our own for a while. Something told me that my family would have a difficult time stomaching Bella and I's relationship for a while. I concentrated on that, and tried not to think about the very real possibility that things wouldn't turn out that way.

Rosalie came downstairs right then, almost as if on cue. She had a steel syringe in her hand.

"See, Edward, I told you I could make a steel syringe. Now, how exactly were you planning on getting your venom in here?"

"Er…that's a fantastic question," I told her. I didn't have the faintest idea how to do this. Quite frankly, I didn't even know if it was possible at all. But if something helped Bella's chances and would make the conversion time shorter, I would try everything I could think of.

Carlisle came down the stairs then. "Hmm…Rosalie, let me try something. Edward, this isn't going to be very comfortable for you, but it might work."

Rosalie handed him the syringe without a word. She really could have cared less about all of this.

"Open your mouth, Edward," Carlisle told me.

I did. I had an idea of what he was going to do. And I was right. He put the needle in my mouth and filled it, like one would fill a needle with something for a normal shot. I could feel the venom getting sucked out of my mouth, so I knew it was working.

"All right, it worked. I've got everything set up in my office for the procedure. I'll keep this up there so we can get to it easily when the time comes," Carlisle said, walking back upstairs.

I heard a crack, and Bella woke up. But she wasn't screaming like I'd thought she would be.

"Are you all right, love?" I asked her.

"Fine. Why?"

"I thought I heard something crack," I told her.

"Nothing cracked," Rosalie growled.

"Well, let's have Carlisle take a look, then," Bella said calmly.

Jacob came back while we were upstairs and heard the X-ray.

_Great, _he thought. _Looks like day four on the countdown is starting off with a bang._

"Hey, wolf," Alice greeted him.

"Hey, shortie," Jacob said, with no trace of antagonism in his voice. He might not even realize it, but he was growing to like my family. At least, everyone in it except for Rosalie. "What's going on upstairs?"

_I don't know! I don't know! This is killing me! I wish I could _see _something. Anything. I wish I could see that Bella was going to be okay._ "Maybe another break."

"Another rib?"

"No. Pelvis this time."

Jacob reeled inside. _Funny how it keeps hitting me, like each new thing is a surprise. When am I going to stop being surprised? Each new disaster seems kinda obvious in hindsight._

Jacob was right. Everything did seem obvious in hindsight. What else could we expect from the kind of monster that would suck its mother's life to feed its own, who would break its mother's bones?

The X-rays came back clean. There was no break.

"See, I _told _you I didn't hear a crack," Rosalie said antagonistically. "You need your ears checked, Edward."

Maybe I did need my ears checked. Maybe I was so worried about Bella that I was now hearing things. Who knew? I just wanted this to be over.

"Edward's going to end up ripping Rose into small pieces, I think," Alice told Jacob. "I'm surprised she doesn't see that. Or maybe she thinks Emmett will be able to stop him."

"I'll take Emmett," Jacob offered. "You can help Edward with the ripping part."

I saw Alice crack half a smile as I carried Bella down the stairs, followed closely by Rosalie. Bella was gripping a cup of blood in her hand and I could tell she was in pain. I was positive that there had been a break. But, I guessed even if there had been, there really wasn't anything Carlisle could have done for Bella for a broken pelvis.

"Jake," Bella whispered, and smiled at her friend.

Again, the agony took over me. Why did she have to look so thrilled to see him? I placed Bella carefully on the couch and sat on the floor by her head.

_Wonder why they don't just leave Bella upstairs,_ Jacob thought. _Must be Bella's idea. Of course, she wants to act like everything's normal, avoid the hospital setup. And Edward's humoring her. Naturally._

Yes, Jacob caught on pretty quickly.

Carlisle came down the stairs then, his face creased with worry. He wasn't entirely convinced there hadn't been a break, either.

_Carlisle's face makes him look old enough to be a doctor, for once. _"Carlisle," Jacob said. "We went halfway to Seattle. There's no sign of the pack. You're good to go."

"Thank you, Jacob," Carlisle told him. "This is good timing. There's much that we need." Carlisle's eyes flickered to the cup of blood Bella was holding.

"Honestly, I think you're safe to take more than three," Jacob told him. "I'm pretty positive that Sam is concentrating on La Push."

Carlisle nodded. "If you think so. Alice, Esme, Jasper, and I will go. Then Alice can take Emmett and Rosa—"

"Not a chance," Rosalie hissed. "Emmett can go with you now."

"You should hunt," Carlisle said in a gentle voice, like he was talking to a kindergartener.

"I'll hunt when _he_ does," she snapped, jerking her head toward me and then flipping her hair back.

Carlisle sighed. _And it's definitely hopeless to get Edward to hunt. Ah, well._

Jasper and Emmett came downstairs and joined Alice at the back door. Esme was at Alice's side a moment later.

Carlisle put a hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Thank you," he said, and then darted out the back door with the other four.

Jacob was going to go take a nap, but he couldn't pass up the opportunity to ruin Rosalie's morning. So he sprawled in the armchair next to Rosalie's, tilting his head toward Bella and making sure his foot was near Rosalie's face. I fought back a chuckle.

"Ew. Someone put the dog out," Rosalie murmured, wrinkling her nose.

"Have you heard this one, Psycho? How do a blonde's brain cells die?"

Rosalie didn't say anything. _No, and I don't care._

"Well?" Jacob asked. "Do you know the punch line or not?"

Rosalie ignored Jacob, looking at the TV.

"Has she heard it?" he asked me.

I didn't move my eyes from my love as I answered him. "No."

"Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker—a blonde's brain cells die _alone_."

Rosalie didn't look at Jacob as she answered. "I have killed a hundred times more than you have, you disgusting beast. Don't forget that."

"Someday, Beauty Queen, you're going to get tired of just threatening me. I'm really looking forward to that."

"Enough, Jacob," Bella said.

"You want me to take off?" Jacob asked.

Bella blinked and her frown disappeared. "No! Of course not."

Jacob and I both sighed. We both wished that she would get over him.

"You look tired," Bella told Jacob.

"Dead beat," Jacob said.

"_I'd _like to beat you dead," Rosalie muttered, too low for Bella to hear.

Jacob slumped deeper into the chair, dangling his foot closer to Rosalie's face. And then Bella asked Rosalie for a refill. Rosalie flitted upstairs quickly, only too happy to be away from Jacob.

And then…I heard a mind that I'd never heard before. And the mind liked Jacob being there. Well, it certainly wasn't Rosalie or Jacob thinking that. Was I finally reading Bella's mind? Or had Bella said something and I'd missed it?

"Did you say something?" I asked Bella.

_Strange,_ Jacob thought. _No one said anything, and Edward's hearing is as good as mine. He should have known that._

Bella and I stared at each other, confused, but for different reasons.

"Me?" Bella asked after a second. "I didn't say anything."

I moved to my knees and kneeled in front of her, leaning over her. Maybe whatever glitch in her head had kept me from hearing her had finally mended itself. "What were you thinking about a minute ago?" I asked.

"Just…Esme's island. And feathers," she said, blushing.

I smiled.

_Sounds like total gibberish to me, but she's blushing, so I'm probably better off not knowing, _Jacob thought.

I smiled again. "Say something else," I whispered.

"Like what? Edward, what's going on?"

_I like momma's voice,_ came the thought.

And then I put everything together. I was hearing the…baby's thoughts. The baby liked the sound of Bella's voice. And…it liked Jacob being there? What? That didn't make any sense to me. But I would figure that out later. For now, I just wanted to share this moment with Bella. I very lightly placed my hands on her stomach.

"The f—" I swallowed. No, it was more than a fetus. It was a baby. My baby. "It…the baby likes the sound of your voice," I whispered to Bella.

There was one short beat of total silence. No one moved.

"_Holy crow, you can hear him!" _ Bella shouted, and then winced in the next second.

She had startled the baby and it had moved, hurting her again.

I put my hand on the top peak of her belly and gently rubbed the spot where it had kicked her. "Shh," I murmured. "You startled it…him."

Bella's eyes got wide and were suddenly filled with wonder. She patted the side of her stomach. "Sorry, baby."

I tilted my head toward Bella's stomach, trying to hear more. I couldn't hear anything specific, but the baby was happy.

"What's he thinking now?" Bella asked me.

"It…he or she, is…" I paused, looking into my wife's eyes, wanting her to see the awe I was feeling, hearing my child's thoughts. "He's _happy,_" I said incredulously.

Bella's breath caught, and she started crying, joy in her eyes. I wished I could cry from the joy, too. This was…there weren't words.

"Of course you're happy, pretty baby, of course you are," Bella crooned, rubbing her stomach. "How could you not be, all safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, little EJ, of course you're happy."

EJ? "What did you call him?" I asked Bella.

She blushed. "I sort of named him. I didn't think you would want…well, you know."

"EJ?" I asked.

"Your father's name was Edward, too."

"Yes, it was," I agreed. "What—?" But before I could ask what the J was for, I heard another thought that made me stop cold in my tracks, marveling. My son or daughter liked my voice, too. "Hmm."

"What?" Bella asked me.

"He likes my voice, too."

"Of course he does. You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldn't love it?"

Rosalie returned with a new cup of blood for Bella, marveling too. "Do you have a backup plan?"she asked Bella. "What if he's a she?"

Bella wiped the back of her hand under her wet eyes. "I kicked a few things around. Playing with Renee and Esme. I was thinking…Ruh-_nez_-may."

"Ruhnezmay?" Rosalie asked.

"R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e. Too weird?"

"No, I like it," Rosalie said. "It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so _that_ fits."

The baby liked it, too. I had a daughter, and she liked her name. But if Bella thought it was a boy, I would let her think that. Because now that I could hear the baby's thoughts, it meant that the baby was more fully developed than I'd thought it was. So I was going to try to convince Carlisle to deliver as soon as he got back. Which meant that, if Bella didn't survive, I had perhaps only a day left with her. I would just let her think whatever she wanted to think for now.

"I still think he's an Edward," Bella said.

I stared off into space, trying to hear my daughter's thoughts.

_I love my momma,_ Renesmee thought. The tone of her thoughts was adoring, awed.

I smiled and laid my ear tenderly against my love's belly, shocking everyone in the room—three distinct, separate gasps.

"He loves you," I whispered, dazed. "He absolutely _adores_ you."

And then, ruining my moment, Jacob was in agony again.

_I'm alone. All alone. I want to kick myself for how much I've been counting on that loathsome vampire. How stupid—as if you could ever trust a leech! Of course he would betray me in the end. I'd counted on him to be on my side. I'd counted on him to suffer more than I'm suffering. And, most of all, I'd counted on him to hate that revolting thing killing Bella more than I hate it. I'd trusted him with that. But now they're together, the two of them bent over the budding, invisible monster with their eyes lit up like a happy family. And I'm all alone with my hatred and the pain that's so bad it's like being tortured. Like being dragged slowly across a bed of razor blades. Pain so bad you'd take death with a smile just to get away from it. _

Jacob jumped to his feet, looking for an escape, but unsure of where to go. He didn't want to phase back, because he and Leah had had a fight before he came here. I felt bad for the dog, for his suffering. But I didn't want him here right now, ruining my moment with my wife and unborn daughter.

"Ahh," I choked, getting up and darting to the end table and grabbing the keys to my Aston Martin Vanquish. I tossed them to Jacob. "Go, Jacob. Get away from here." I didn't say the words harshly. I threw them at him like a life preserver, helping him to find the escape he was dying for.


	17. 15 Revelation

15. Revelation

My daughter's thoughts turned wistful as Jacob left, and then I realized why Bella needed to be with Jacob so much. It wasn't Bella's need. It was Renesmee's. Jacob was going to imprint on her. He felt so strongly for Bella now because Renesmee was developing more fully. Everything fell into place then. I wondered if Bella had ever really been in love with Jacob, or if it had been Renesmee all along, even before she was conceived. Because Bella hadn't realized her love for Jacob until after we'd made the decision to try to have a real honeymoon. Yes, that made sense. It was Renesmee all along. I smiled. It was all coming clear now. But I wouldn't say anything about this little revelation to anyone, especially not to Jacob or Bella. I was a little bit irritated with it myself, so I could only imagine Bella's reaction if she found out. And Jacob wouldn't believe me even if I told him, and it would probably make him angrier. So I would keep this little bit of knowledge to myself.

Renesmee moved, and Bella gasped in pain.

_I'm sorry, momma, _Renesmee thought.

I smiled. "The baby said he's sorry," I told Bella.

Bella smiled and rubbed her belly. "It's okay, EJ."

Renesmee was a little disgruntled that Bella thought she was a boy, but she had heard my conversations with my father and understood my worries and why I was placating Bella.

_I won't hurt momma,_ she thought. _I love momma. I won't hurt her._

I smiled and laughed in relief. Renesmee would help us. And Bella would be okay. But this knowledge made me think that the baby was more fully developed than we realized. So I would try to convince Carlisle to do the surgery as soon as he got back.

"What is it?" Bella asked me.

"The baby is trying not to hurt you. We're going to have to get him out as soon as Carlisle gets back, though. I think he's more fully developed than we guessed. His thoughts are quite advanced for a baby. So we need to get him out of you as soon as possible." I choked at the end.

"It'll be okay, Edward. I'll keep my heart beating for you. You just have to get the venom into me as soon as you can."

I smiled. "You'd better keep your heart beating."

"I love you," she said in response. And that was all she had to say. With those three words, I knew that Bella wouldn't leave me alone. She would do whatever it took to keep her heart beating.

"I know."

She laughed. That was what she'd told me when I'd told her I loved her after I'd gotten James's venom out of her in the ballet studio in Phoenix.

And then Leah came into the front yard.

"I'll be right back, love," I told her. "Leah's here. I'm going to go talk to her."

"Okay," she whispered.

I went to the front yard to greet Leah. "Hello, Leah," I said politely.

_Why did Jacob leave like that?_

I hesitated, unsure how to explain to her. "Well…I was able to hear the baby's thoughts, and my change in attitude about the baby upset him, so I gave him my car keys so he could get out of here for a while."

_Bella shouldn't be encouraging him to be here like this. It's not fair to him._

"He's happy to be here, if it makes her happy," I told Leah.

That had been the wrong thing to say. Leah ran off into the woods to phase. She wanted to speak to Bella now. When she'd phased, Leah barged into the house, past me and Rosalie, and started in on Bella.

"Bella, how can you be so selfish as to want Jacob around like this? You know how much pain you're causing him? Do you care? Or do you only care about yourself?"

"Of course I care about him," Bella said.

"Then tell him to leave. Tell him to leave and never come back. He's in so much pain. He's trying to get over you, Bella. You chose Edward. You can't have it both ways. And now you're married to your vampire and about to have his kid. So leave Jacob alone. That would be the right thing to do. You realize that, right?"

"You're right, Leah, but he's still my friend."

"That's not fair to him, and you know it. You know he can't think of you as just his friend. Look, I know exactly how he's feeling, because Sam did the same thing to me that you're doing to him. And it's not fair to him. I left Sam's pack and I'm now a guard dog for a coven of vampires just so I could get away from Sam and his gloating affection for Emily. But Jacob won't do that. He's much too selfless. You're causing him pain, the worst pain imaginable, and he won't do anything to help himself. So, if you really love him, if he's really your friend, you'll tell him to leave. To leave and never come back."

And, with that, Bella burst into tears. She suffered a great deal over the pain she was inflicting on both me and Jacob by wanting Jacob around. This was over the line. I would _not_ allow Bella to be upset like that again.

"Enough, Leah," I growled. "Out. Now."

Leah stormed out, glaring at me and Bella as she left.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Bella sobbed. "It's not fair to you, either. I'm sorry."

I took Bella carefully in my arms. "Shh, Bella, shh. It's okay. You have nothing to apologize for, love. Jacob is your friend. I understand that, and so does he. You know he only wants to make you happy."

"But it's not fair for me to want him around like this. Not fair to you, not fair to him, not fair to Seth and Leah for making them endure his thoughts. I'm a horrible person."

"Don't say that, Bella. You're not. You're the best person I know."

"I'm not. I'm a monster. A real monster, the kind that hurts people I love."

"No, you're definitely not that. But you will be a monster soon," I teased.

She smiled. "And we'll be together."

"Forever," I promised, and bent down to kiss her lightly.

"I'm a little scared," Bella whispered.

"About what?" I asked.

"I'm scared that I'll be so crazed that no one will be able to control me. I'm scared that I won't be the same person I was before. I'm scared that I won't want you anymore, and that it will take a century for me to feel that way again."

"Well, if we have to go to Antarctica and hunt penguins, we will, in answer to your first fear. And you'll still be Bella, and I can wait for your human instincts to return to you. I'll always love you, no matter how long it takes."

Rosalie nearly gagged, but I ignored it.

Bella smiled and yawned.

"You're tired. Sleep, love. It's been a very eventful morning."

And she drifted off to sleep. Alice and Jasper returned soon after with some blood, but Carlisle wanted to try to use another connection to get some more.

A little while later, Bella was still asleep and I heard my Vanquish zooming down the driveway. I went to wait for Jacob in the garage. I needed to speak to him privately.

"A few things, Jacob," I said as soon as he'd cut the engine.

He took a deep breath and hesitated for a moment before getting out of the car and tossing the keys to me. "Thanks for the loan," he said sourly. "What do you want _now_?"

"Firstly…I know how averse you are to using your authority with your pack, but…"

He blinked, shocked that I'd brought this up. "What?"

"If you can't or won't control Leah, then I—"

"Leah?" he interrupted, speaking through his teeth. "What happened?"

"She came up to see why you'd left so abruptly. I tried to explain. I suppose it might not have come out right."

"What did she do?"

"She phased to her human form and—"

"Really?" Jacob asked, shocked now. _Leah letting her guard down right in the mouth of the enemy's lair?_

"She wanted to…_speak_ to Bella."

"To _Bella_?"

"I won't let Bella be upset like that again. I don't care how justified Leah thinks she is! I didn't hurt her—of course I wouldn't—but I'll throw her out of the house if it happens again. I'll launch her across the river—"

"Hold _on,_" Jacob interrupted again. "What did she _say_?" _None of this is making any sense._

I took a deep breath, composing myself. This wasn't Jacob's fault. Jacob hadn't asked her to do this. I shouldn't be taking it out on him. "Leah was unnecessarily harsh. I'm not going to pretend that I understand why Bella is unable to let go of you," I lied, "but I do know that she does not behave this way to hurt you. She suffers a great deal over the pain she's inflicting on you, and on me, by asking you to stay. What Leah said was uncalled for. Bella's been crying—"

"Wait—Leah was yelling at Bella about _me_?"

I nodded once. "You were quite vehemently championed."

_Whoa._ "I didn't ask her to do that."

"I know."

Jacob rolled his eyes. _Of course he knows. He knows everything. But that's really something about Leah. Who would have believed it? Leah walking into the bloodsuckers' place _human_ to complain about how _I'm _being treated._

"I can't promise to control Leah," he told me. "I won't do that. But I'll talk to her, okay? And I don't think there'll be a repeat. Leah's not one to hold back, so she probably got it all off her chest today."

"I would say so," I said icily.

"Anyway, I'll talk to Bella about it, too. She doesn't need to feel bad. This one's on me."

"I already told her that."

"Of course you did. Is she okay?"

"She's sleeping now. Rose is with her."

_So the psycho's "Rose" now. He's completely crossed over to the dark side._

I ignored that. "She's…better in some ways. Aside from Leah's tirade and the resulting guilt."

_Better. Because Edward's hearing the monster and everything's all lovey-dovey now. Fantastic._

"It's a bit more than that," I murmured. "Now that I can make out the child's thoughts, it's apparent that he or she has remarkably developed mental facilities. He can understand us, to an extent."

Jacob's mouth fell open. "Are you _serious?_"

"Yes. He seems to have a vague sense of what hurts her now. He's trying to avoid that, as much as possible. He…_loves_ her. Already."

Jacob stared at me in disbelief. _That's it. That's the critical factor. This is what's changed Edward—that the monster's convinced him of this _love_. He can't hate what loves Bella. It's probably why he can't hate me, either. But there's a big difference. I'm not killing her._

I pretended I didn't hear that. "The progress, I believe, is more than we'd judged. When Carlisle returns—"

"They're not back?" Jacob interrupted. He'd seen Sam and Jared watching the road and worried for their safety.

"Alice and Jasper are," I told him. "Carlisle sent all the blood he was able to acquire, but it wasn't as much as he was hoping for—Bella will use up this supply in another day the way her appetite has grown. Carlisle stayed to try another source. I don't think that's necessary now, but he wants to be covered for any eventuality."

"Why isn't it necessary? If she needs more?"

How could I do this without upsetting Jacob? I guessed there was no way around it. "I'm trying to persuade Carlisle to deliver the baby as soon as he is back," I told him, watching him carefully.

"_What?"_

"The child seems to be attempting to avoid rough movements, but it's difficult. He's become too big. It's madness to wait, when he's clearly developed beyond what Carlisle had guessed. Bella's too fragile to delay."

_I keep getting my legs knocked out from under me. First, counting on Edward's hatred of the thing so much. Now, I realize that I thought of those four days as a sure thing. I'd banked on them. _Jacob was in pain, and I tried to show him with my face that I was sure Bella was going to survive.

He tried to catch his breath, and saw the change in my face. "You think she's going to make it."

"Yes. That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about," I told him.

He didn't answer, so, after a minute, I continued.

"Yes. Waiting, as we have been, for the child to be ready, that was insanely dangerous. At any moment it could have been too late. But if we're proactive about this, if we act quickly, I see no reason why it should not go well. Knowing the child's mind is unbelievably helpful. Thankfully, Bella and Rosalie agree with me. Now that I've convinced them it's safe for the child if we proceed, there's nothing to keep this from working."

"When will Carlisle be back?" Jacob whispered.

"By noon tomorrow."

Jacob's knees buckled and he had to grab the car to hold himself up. I reached out at first to offer him support, but then decided that probably wasn't the best idea, given how much he must hate me right now.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I am truly sorry for the pain this causes you, Jacob. Though you hate me, I must admit that I don't feel the same about you. I think of you as a…a brother in many ways. A comrade in arms, at the very least. I regret your suffering more than you realize. But Bella _is_ going to survive"—my voice was fierce when I said that, willing it to be true—"and I know that's what really matters to you."

_He's probably right. It's hard to tell._

"So I hate to do this now, while you're already dealing with too much," I continued, "but, clearly, there is little time. I have to ask you for something—to beg, if I must."

"I don't have anything left," Jacob choked out.

I lifted my hand again, about to put it on his shoulder, but I sighed and dropped it again. "I know how much you have given," I murmured quietly. "But this is something you _do_ have, and only you. I'm asking this of the true Alpha, Jacob. I'm asking this of Ephraim's heir. I want your permission to deviate from what we agreed to in our treaty with Ephraim. I want you to grant us an exception. I want your permission to save her life. You know I'll do it anyway, but I don't want to break faith with you if there is any way to avoid it. We never intended to go back on our word, and we don't do it lightly now. I want your understanding, Jacob, because you know exactly why we do this. I want the alliance between our families to survive when this is over."

_Sam,_ Jacob thought, unable to speak. _It's Sam you want._

"No, Sam's authority is assumed. It belongs to you. You'll never take it from him, but no one can rightfully agree to what I'm asking for except for _you._"

_It's not my decision._

"It is, Jacob, and you know it. Your word on this will condemn us or absolve us. Only you can give this to me."

_I can't think. I don't know._

"We don't have much time," I reminded him gently.

_No, there's no time. My few days have become a few hours. I don't know. Let me think. Just give me a minute here, okay?_

"Yes."

Jacob started walking toward the house, and I followed.

_This doesn't feel unsafe, or even uncomfortable,_ Jacob thought. _It feels like walking next to anybody. Well, anybody who smells bad._

There was a movement in the brush at the edge of the lawn, and then a low whimper. Seth shrugged out of the ferns and loped over to us.

"Hey, kid," Jacob muttered.

Seth dipped his head, and Jacob patted his shoulder. _You okay, Jake? What happened?_

"'S'all cool," Jacob lied. "I'll tell you about it later. Sorry to take off on you like that."

Seth grinned. _Don't worry about it. You needed to get away from here for a bit._

"Hey, tell your sister to back off now, okay? Enough."

Seth nodded once. _She shouldn't have done that. Sorry, Edward._

I smiled. Seth really was a good kid.

Jacob shoved against the wolf's shoulder. "Get back to work. I'll spell you in a bit."

He leaned against Jacob, shoving back. _Okay. _And then he loped off into the woods.

"He has one of the purest, sincerest, _kindest_ minds I've ever heard," I told Jacob when Seth was out of sight. "You're lucky to have his thoughts to share."

"I know that," Jacob grunted.

We started toward the house again, and both of our heads snapped up when we heard the sound of someone sucking on a straw. I sprinted up the porch steps and into the house and sat down on the floor by her head.

"Bella, love, I thought you were sleeping," I told her. "I'm sorry, I wouldn't have left."

"Don't worry. I just got so thirsty—it woke me up. It's a good thing Carlisle is bringing more. This kid is going to need it when he gets out of me."

"True. That's a good point."

"I wonder if he'll want anything else," she mused.

"I suppose we'll find out," I said.

Jacob walked through the door.

"Finally," Alice said. Her painkiller was back.

Bella looked up and smiled at Jacob for a second. Then her smile faltered, and her face fell. Her lips puckered, like she was trying to keep from crying.

_I want to punch Leah right in her stupid mouth. _"Hey, Bells," Jacob said quickly. "How ya doing?"

"I'm fine," she said, and her pain broke through in her voice.

"Big day today, huh? Lots of new stuff."

"You don't have to do that, Jacob."

"Don't know what you're talking about," Jacob said, going to sit on the arm of the sofa by her head.

Bella gave Jacob a reproachful look. "I'm _so_ s—" she started to say.

Jacob pinched her lips together between his thumb and forefinger.

"Jake," Bella mumbled, trying to pull his hand away.

Jacob shook his head. "You can talk when you're not being stupid."

"Fine, I won't say it," she mumbled through his fingers.

He pulled his hand away.

"Sorry!" she finished quickly, grinning at him.

Jacob rolled his eyes and smiled back at her.

And then I saw what Jacob had done when he'd left. He'd gone far away from here, and he'd tried to imprint on someone. He thought that he hadn't imprinted yet because perhaps he wasn't in the right place. What he didn't know was that he hadn't imprinted yet because the person he was going to imprint on wasn't born yet.

Looking into Bella's eyes, Jacob saw everything he'd been looking for when he'd tried to imprint. _Tomorrow, she'll be someone else. But hopefully alive, and that's what counts, right? She'll look at me with the same eyes, sort of. Smile with the same lips, almost. She'll still know me better than anyone who doesn't have full access to the inside of my head_. _Leah might be an interesting companion, maybe even a true friend—someone who'll stand up for me. But she's not my _best_ friend the way Bella is. Aside from the impossible love I feel for Bella, there's also that other bond, and it runs bone deep._

_Tomorrow, she'll be my enemy. Or she'll be my ally. And, apparently, that distinction is up to me._

Jacob sighed and gave up the last thing he had to give. _Fine! Go ahead. Save her. As Ephraim's heir, you have my permission, my word, that this will not violate the treaty. The others will just have to blame me. You were right—they can't deny that it's my right to agree to this._

"Thank you," I whispered fervently, too low for Bella to hear. But the emotion in my voice was such that every vampire in the room, and Jacob, all turned to look at me.

"So," Bella asked, trying to be casual. "How was your day?"

"Great," Jacob lied. "Went for a drive. Hung out in the park." _Tried to imprint so I won't be in pain every time I'm near you._

"Sounds nice."

"Sure, sure."

Bella made a face. "Rose?" she asked, apologetic.

Rosalie chuckled. "Again?"

"I think I've drunk two gallons in the last hour."

Jacob and I got out of the way while Rosalie came to lift Bella from the couch and take her to the bathroom.

"Can I walk?" Bella asked. "My legs are so stiff."

I was apprehensive about that, but I didn't want Bella to be uncomfortable. "Are you sure?" I asked.

"Rose'll catch me if I trip over my feet. Which could happen pretty easily, since I can't see them."

Rosalie set Bella carefully on her feet, keeping her hands right on Bella's shoulders. Bella stretched her arms out in front of her, wincing a little.

"That feels good," she sighed. "Ugh, but I'm huge."

_She really is,_ Jacob thought. _Her stomach is its own continent._

I resisted the urge to growl at Jacob.

"One more day," Bella said, patting her stomach.

Pain shot through Jacob, but he worked to keep it off his face, not wanting to upset Bella.

"All righty, then," Bella muttered. "Whoops—oh, no!"

The cup Bella had left on the sofa tumbled to one side, spilling the blood out onto the pale fabric. And, although three other hands beat her there, Bella bent over, reaching to catch it.

There was a muffled ripping sound from inside her. "Oh!" she gasped.

And then she went limp, slumping toward the floor. Rosalie caught her in the same instant, before she could fall. I was there, too, hands out, ready to catch her if she fell forward.

"Bella?" I asked.

_I can't breathe,_ Renesmee thought. _Help me._

Renesmee couldn't breathe. That must mean the placenta had detached. I panicked.

Half a second later, Bella screamed. No, screaming was not a strong enough word for the sound that came out of Bella's mouth. It was a blood-curdling shriek of pain. It cut off with a gurgle, and her eyes rolled back into her head. Her body twitched, arching in Rosalie's arms, and then Bella vomited a fountain of blood.


	18. 16 Delivery

16. Delivery

Bella's body, streaming with red, started to twitch, jerking around in Rosalie's arms like a fish out of water. Her face was blank—unconscious. Renesmee thrashed inside her, trying to breathe, and with each convulsion, in time, came a sharp crack. Renesmee apologized in her thoughts. She just wanted to get out. She didn't understand what was happening to her.

Rosalie and I were frozen for less than a second before we went into emergency mode. I realized that I would have to do the procedure. I would have to cut open the body I loved to save my wife and my daughter. Rosalie whipped Bella into her arms and we both ran up the stairs, barking orders at everyone in sight.

"Morphine!" I yelled to Rosalie.

"Alice—get Carlisle on the phone!" Rosalie screeched.

Jacob followed us, unsure of why he was coming. But I was glad. We might need the extra manpower, and I knew he would work harder than Rosalie would to save Bella once the baby was out of her. Rosalie set Bella on the operating table Carlisle had set up in his office. Her body flopped and convulsed like she was being electrocuted; Renesmee was trying to breathe, but didn't want to hurt her mother by chewing her way out. Rosalie held Bella down, yanking and ripping her clothes out of the way, while I gave her a shot of morphine.

_How many times have I imagined her naked?_ Jacob thought. _Now I can't look. I'm afraid to have these images in my head._

"What's _happening_, Edward?" Rosalie screamed at me.

"He's suffocating!" Somehow, in this insanity, I still remembered to keep up the ruse that the baby was a boy. How, I had no idea. I didn't even remember why I was supposed to. Or know what the point was anymore, since the baby was going to be out soon anyway, and everyone would know she was a girl.

"The placenta must have detached!"

Somewhere in this mess, Bella came around. "Get him OUT!" she screeched, the blood vessels in her eyes popping. "He can't BREATHE! Do it NOW!"

"The morphine—" I growled. I didn't want to do anything until I was sure Bella wouldn't be in pain.

"NO! NOW—!" Another gush of blood choked off her shrieks. I held her head up, trying to clear her mouth so she could breathe again.

Alice darted into the room and clipped an earpiece under Rosalie's hair, and then she backed away, her eyes burning. She was scared to death, because she couldn't see the outcome of the surgery Rosalie and I were about to perform. Rosalie hissed frantically into the phone.

Suddenly, Rosalie's hand came down on Bella's stomach, cutting her open with a scalpel. I cringed.

"Let the morphine spread," I shouted.

"There's no time!" Rosalie hissed. "He's dying!"

A fountain of red spewed out of Bella's stomach where Rosalie had cut her. Bella jerked, but didn't scream. She was still choking, and I was still trying to support her so she could breathe.

And then Rosalie lost her focus. The thirst took over, and I could see the change in her face, her lips pulling back from her teeth and her black eyes glinting with thirst.

I saw this, but I couldn't stop it. My hands were trapped, keeping Bella in a position where she could breathe.

Just then, Jacob flew across the room, not even bothering to phase as he attacked Rosalie, knocking her toward the door. She stabbed the scalpel that was in her hand into Jacob's left arm, but he didn't even pay attention. He smashed his right palm against her face, locking her jaw and blocking her airwaves. He used his grip on her face to swing her body out so he could kick her in the stomach. The earpiece in her ear shattered. So I would have to fly solo, then. I would have to be the one to operate on my wife. Alice was there then, yanking Rosalie by the throat to get her out of the room and into the hallway. Jacob ripped the blade out of his arm.

"Alice, get her out of here!" I shouted. "Take her to Jasper and _keep_ her there!" And then, I realized that I wouldn't have to fly solo. Jacob could help me. And he would help me, to save Bella. "Jacob, I need you!"

Jacob turned around and rushed back to the operating table, where I was still holding Bella, who was turning blue from the lack of oxygen, her eyes wide, staring, but seeing nothing.

"CPR?" I growled.

"Yes!" Jacob shouted.

He searched my face for a second, looking for any sign that I was going to react like Rosalie had. But I didn't even smell Bella's blood. My only thought was saving her life.

"Get her breathing!" I yelled at Jacob. "I've got to get him out before—"

And then another shattering crack came from inside her body. Jacob and I both froze, waiting for Bella's answering scream. But it didn't come. Her legs, which had been curled up in agony, went limp, sprawling unnaturally on the table. And then I realized why.

"Her spine," I choked out in horror.

"Get it _out_ of her!" Jacob snarled, flinging the scalpel at me. "She won't feel anything now."

He bent over her head and pressed his mouth to hers, blowing air into her. Her body expanded, so there was nothing blocking her throat.

Bella's heart thumped unevenly, weakly. I didn't have much time.

_Keep it going, _Jacob thought fiercely, blowing another gust of air into my wife. _You promised. Keep your heart beating._

I took a deep breath and cut Bella open with the scalpel, moving her skin out of the way so I could get to the membrane that surrounded Renesmee. And then I put my face against the bulge, ripping through the membrane with my teeth. I tried not to be there in the room while I was doing it. I couldn't bear this. This was worse than agony. Here I was, cutting my wife open, operating on her, to save her. How had this happened?

Jacob blew another mouthful of air into Bella.

She coughed back at him.

"You stay with _me_ now, Bella!" Jacob yelled at her. "Do you hear me? Stay! You're not leaving me. Keep your heart beating!"

And then I had Renesmee out, and, looking into my daughter's eyes, I knew that the fight had been worth it. She was the most beautiful baby in the world. Bella had been right to want her.

"Renesmee," I whispered.

She put her hand on my face. _Daddy,_ she thought.

I smiled at her. She knew who I was.

_So Bella was wrong. It's not the boy she'd imagined,_ Jacob thought. _No big surprise there. What _hadn't _she been wrong about?_

Bella lifted her hands weakly. "Let me…" she croaked. "Give her to me."

I touched our daughter to my wife's arms, keeping a grip on her.

"Renes…mee," Bella whispered. "So…beautiful."

And then Renesmee couldn't control her thirst. She bit Bella, right above her left breast. Bella gasped in pain, and I pulled Renesmee away.

"No, Renesmee," I murmured.

She put her hand on my face. _I'm sorry, _she thought.

And then Bella's heart stopped beating with a last dull _ga-lump._

She missed maybe half of one beat before Jacob's hands were on her chest, doing CPR compressions. He counted in his head as he tried to keep it steady. _One. Two. Three. Four._

Bella's heart unwillingly came back to life under Jacob's hands, and he broke away for a second, blowing another lungful of air into her mouth.

"What are you waiting for?" Jacob choked out breathlessly. _One. Two. Three. Four._

"Take the baby," I told him.

"Throw it out the window." _One. Two. Three. Four._

"Give her to me," Rosalie chimed from the doorway.

Jacob and I growled at the same time.

_One. Two. Three. Four._ Jacob was still keeping Bella's heart beating for her.

"I've got it under control," Rosalie told me. "Give me the baby, Edward. I'll take care of her until Bella…"

I shoved Renesmee into Rosalie's hands and pushed her out the door. Then I ran to Carlisle's desk and grabbed the steel syringe that Rosalie had made, which contained my venom.

"Move your hands, Jacob," I told him.

Jacob looked up from Bella's white eyes, still pumping her heart for her, and looked at the steel syringe in my hand. "What is that?" he asked me.

I shoved Jacob's hands out of the way—breaking one of his fingers as I did so—and stabbed the needle into Bella's heart.

"My venom," I answered as I pushed the plunger down.

We heard the jolt in her heart, like she'd been shocked with paddles. It was working. But her heartbeat was still too weak. She needed more venom.

"Keep it moving," I ordered to Jacob.

While Jacob kept pumping Bella's heart, I bit her in as many places as possible: her throat, her wrists, the crease of her elbow. And, as my venom entered her bloodstream, I wiped my tongue over the bite marks, trapping the venom inside her body.

And then Jacob realized Bella was dead. Well, he thought she was dead. Because his need to be near her wasn't here anymore. _All the king's horses and all the king's men…But there's nothing here; just me, just him. Working over a corpse. She's dead. The pull is gone. There's no reason for me to be here beside her. _She _isn't here anymore. So this body has no more draw for me. The senseless need to be here has vanished. Or maybe _moved_ is the better word. I need to get downstairs, get away from here._

I knew the real reason why he needed to be downstairs, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I would let him find out on his own. "Go, then," I snapped at him, shoving his hands out of the way and pumping Bella's heart three times as fast as he had. It was working. Bella was going to be all right. "She's not dead," I growled. "She's going to be fine."

Jacob left the room, moving sluggishly toward the door. He hated Renesmee. Her heart was beating and Bella's was not. And he was going to kill her. But, although I heard the plans for murder inside his head, I knew that he wasn't going to kill my daughter. I knew it because I knew that he was about to imprint on her.

And then, as he gazed into Renesmee's chocolate eyes for the first time, the fire that had been burning in his body, the rage, the fury, smoldered away. It was replaced by a glowing, and suddenly nothing in this universe was more important to him than Renesmee. It was like Renesmee was now the reason that he was on this earth. He was held to the ground by a million steel cables, all of them tied to Renesmee.

It was truly fascinating to listen to Jacob imprinting on Renesmee. But then he was distracted from this moment by the sound he was still desperate to hear, even in this most important moment in his life. Bella's changing heart.


	19. Prologue 3

Book 3

Forever

_Is it written in the stars?  
Are we paying for some crime?  
Is that all that we are good for?  
Just some stretch of mortal time?  
Or some god's experiment  
In which we have no say?  
In which we're given paradise  
But only for a day  
_**-"Written in the Stars"  
from Elton John and Tim Rice's _Aida_**

Prologue

I thought I had it all. My wife, safe at last, now just as strong as I was, and completely, blissfully happy in her new life. My daughter, who I'd never thought in a million years to ask for, but who was now just as important to me as my wife. My family, all together and getting along, for once. And my wife's friends and family, still here among us now.

But maybe there was such a thing as too much happiness. Maybe one person couldn't have everything they ever wanted, plus all the things they didn't think to ask for. Maybe that was the explanation for this horrific occurrence.

Because now they were coming, and they weren't coming to reason. They were coming to destroy. To destroy us all, for a crime we didn't commit. There was a small chance that maybe, if we had enough people to witness the fact that we didn't commit the crime we had been accused of, we might walk away. But it wasn't a wager we were willing to put money on. And so we would all die.


	20. 17 Transformation

17. Transformation

I sat beside Bella, refusing to leave her for even a second. She didn't move at all. I could hear her heart, but it must be too late. It wasn't natural for her to be so still. I must have done something wrong.

Alice came into the room with a cell phone. "It's Carlisle," she told me.

"Thank God," I said, taking the phone. "Carlisle."

"Edward, tell me what happened after the phone went dead."

"Well, Rosalie lost her focus and Alice took her out of the room. And then Jacob helped me keep Bella alive while I got Renesmee out of her. Renesmee thrashed and it broke Bella's spine," I said, my voice breaking at the end.

"Renesmee?" he asked curiously.

"Yes. Bella named her this morning."

"I like it. Keep going."

"Well, then I gave Renesmee to Rosalie and put my venom into her heart. But it wasn't enough, so Jacob kept pumping her heart for her while I bit her and forced as much venom into her system as possible."

"And now?"

"Nothing. She's not moving or making any noise. I'm scared."

"I'm sure she'll be fine, Edward."

"But she's not moving at all. That's not natural."

"She has morphine in her system. That's bound to have some effect on her experience. Don't worry. I'll be home soon," he said, and hung up.

I handed the phone back to Alice.

"Charlie called during the operation," she told me. "I told him that we were heading to Atlanta so they could do some tests on Bella at the CDC. I gave him a bad number."

Well, that was a good story for now, but I knew that wouldn't fool Charlie for long. We would have to come up with a more permanent solution soon.

"That works for now," I told Alice.

"He won't take the bait for long, though. I don't know what to do. I guess we really will have to leave."

"I suppose you're right."

"I'll leave you with Bella," she said. "I need to find something for her to wear anyway." She danced out of the room.

A few hours later, Jacob came upstairs, carrying my daughter.

"She wanted to see you and Bella," he told me.

"How do you know that?"

"You'll see," he said, handing Renesmee to me and looking over my shoulder at my wife. "How's Bella?"

"I don't know," I moaned. "She's so still. It's not natural."

"I hear her heart, Edward. She'll be fine."

I smiled at Jacob and then looked at Renesmee. Half me, immortal and strong. And half Bella, beautiful, perfect, and warm. She had Bella's chocolate brown eyes, so that hadn't been lost. They were so beautiful. Her hair was my color, but she had Charlie's curls. Yes, Bella had been right to want her. She was like nothing else in this world.

And then she put her hand on my face and I saw something. She was asking about her mother. So this was how Jacob knew that she wanted to see us. Renesmee was gifted. She could let people see her thoughts.

"She'll be all right," I told Renesmee. "But it'll be a few days before she can see you."

She put her hand on my face again, telling me she would wait for her mother.

I smiled, too happy to talk. Not sure what else to do, I hummed the lullaby I'd written for her mother to her. She loved it.

"I wrote that for your mother," I told her. "When she and I first met."

Jacob smiled. "Bella never told me you wrote a song for her. It's beautiful."

I smiled, too. "Thank you. It used to help her fall asleep, and it calmed her down when she was scared."

"I don't know if this is going to sound right, but it _sounds_ like her. Like you somehow captured her personality with music."

I smiled again. "I'm glad you think so, too. I always did, but I was a little biased."

He laughed.

Renesmee put her hand on my face again. She was sorry for hurting her mother. She loved her. She didn't want her to be hurting.

I hugged Renesmee tightly to my chest. "It's all right, love." And then I looked up at Jacob, who was beaming at Renesmee.

"Look, Edward, I don't know how to tell you this, but…"

"You imprinted on her," I finished for him.

"How did you know?"

"I knew even before you did. I knew from the first time I heard Renesmee's thoughts. But I didn't think you'd believe me if I told you, and, well, I wasn't sure if Bella would survive, so if she wanted to think she was carrying a son, I was going to let her. But it also turned out well from the perspective that I didn't want you to know that you were going to imprint on her. It was fascinating listening to you imprinting on her."

Jacob chuckled. "I should have known you'd be listening. And you're right. I wouldn't have believed you. Who would have thought I would imprint on Renesmee, of all people?"

Renesmee put her hand on my face again. She wanted to go back to Jacob. I handed her over to him, a little irritated that she seemed to like Jacob as much as he liked her. But then I thought of everything he'd done for me. Everything he'd done for Bella. How could I deny Jacob this? I remembered wishing that I could have some way to repay him for what he'd done for us, and, well, this was surely a way to repay him. By not denying him my daughter.

"You deserve her, Jacob. After everything you've been through, everything you've suffered for Bella's sake, you deserve happiness," I told him, passing Renesmee off to him.

"Thanks," he said. "Hey, can you do me a favor?"

"Anything," I promised him.

"Can you let me explain this to Bella? Let me tell her that I imprinted on Nessie?"

Nessie? As in the Loch Ness Monster? I chuckled. If nothing else irritated Bella about this situation, Jacob's nickname for our daughter was sure to.

I smiled. "Of course. She'll probably take it better if you explain it to her." I looked back at Bella, who was still motionless, but slowly mending.

Jacob looked at Bella, too. "I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry for everything. Sorry for all the pain I caused you and Bella both. It seems so ridiculous now."

"But it wasn't ridiculous at the time. You loved her. And I know you still do. But now you love her in the right way; you love her as a friend."

"Yes, I still do love her. But, like you said, it's in the right way now. She's my best friend, and she always will be. I would still do anything for her. Even now, when she's being changed into a vampire, I still love her, and I'll love her after she is one."

I chuckled. "You know, Jacob, despite the fact that we're natural enemies and that you tried to steal the reason for my existence away from me, I actually like you."

He laughed, remembering our conversation in the tent. Not a chuckle, a full-bodied laugh. "And despite the fact that you're a filthy bloodsucker who is in the process of sucking the life out of the girl I loved, I actually like you, too."

We grinned at each other. And then Renesmee put her hand on Jacob's face. She was thirsty. I wondered how I'd known before that she was showing me something and that it wasn't just my gift of reading minds that told me what she wanted. Maybe that was part of her gift. That she let people know what she was doing.

"She's hungry…er, thirsty. I'd better go feed her," he told me.

"Thank you, Jacob. Thank you for bringing her up here."

He smiled at me. "Hey, she _is_ your kid. I'll bring her back later." And he left.

Alice came in the room again, carrying an ice blue silk dress. But she saw that Bella wasn't quite healed enough to be dressed yet. A silk dress? What was Alice thinking?

"Is there a cocktail party later, Alice?" I teased.

Alice stuck her tongue out at me. "She's going to be fine, Edward. She's getting clearer already."

And I saw what Alice saw. A clear vision of Bella…still not moving.

"I don't understand. Why is she so still?"

"I don't know. I'm just glad I can see her again. It makes me feel so much better. Carlisle has a theory as to why. He says that it's because of the chromosomal count. I've been a human, and I am a vampire, so I can see humans and vampires, but I can't see half-breeds because I've never been one."

I smiled. "I'm glad you can see her, too. It makes me feel better."

"I'll be back later to dress her," Alice said as she left.

And then Carlisle came home. Of course, he rushed right up to his office, where I was still sitting with Bella, who was still not moving.

"I'm proud of you, son," he told me. "You did beautifully."

I cringed at the memory of the delivery. "She's so still, Carlisle."

"Do you smell the morphine in her system still? Of course she can't move."

That comforted me a little.

Rosalie and Jacob came up to the office then to check on Bella. Rosalie was carrying my daughter.

"How is she?" Rosalie asked as she handed Renesmee to me.

I was unable to answer my sister as I looked at my daughter. She was half again as big as she had been when she'd first been born, and her curls were down to her chin now. This wasn't natural. What could we do?

"She's grown so much," I managed to whisper.

"I know," Rosalie said, the same worry in her voice that I was feeling.

"I should take some measurements," Carlisle said, getting a measuring tape and a scale.

Renesmee was surprisingly helpful as Carlisle took the measurements. She understood exactly what was happening. Carlisle didn't need to take notes to remember everything.

"We'll do this four times a day, so we can see how fast she's growing," he said absently.

Renesmee put her hand on Carlisle's face. She was confused as to why he was doing this.

Carlisle flinched and jumped back. "_What…_just happened?"

I chuckled. "She's gifted. She's showing you her thoughts."

He smiled and came back to Renesmee. "I'm sorry, Renesmee," he said gently. "What were you saying?"

Renesmee smiled and put her hand back on her grandfather's face, asking him why he was going to take measurements so often. It wasn't interesting to her.

Carlisle smiled. _Will she understand if I tell her?_

I nodded. "Yes, she's quite intelligent."

"You're growing so fast, Renesmee. We have to keep track of it." He looked at me. "She's beautiful, Edward. Absolutely beautiful."

I smiled. "Yes, she is," I said, hugging my daughter closer.

"May I?" he asked, holding his arms out.

I chuckled. "You have to ask?" I handed my daughter to him.

Carlisle took Renesmee, smiling hugely at his granddaughter. Like she had with me and then with Rosalie, Jacob, Emmett, Jasper, Esme, and Alice, Renesmee had completely won Carlisle over.

"I should go," Jacob suddenly said. "Sam needs to know that I've imprinted on Nessie. And that I allowed Bella's transformation. I'll be back." He left quickly.

Rosalie went downstairs, a little disappointed that she wasn't carrying my daughter with her. The maternal edge to her thoughts was quite irritating.

Renesmee put her hand on Carlisle's face. She was hungry.

"Hmm," Carlisle said. "I wonder…she's half-human. Should we be encouraging her to eat human food as well as blood?"

"Um…I'm not sure," I said.

"I'll see how she does with baby formula," he said, getting up to take my daughter downstairs.

I read in Renesmee's thoughts that she wasn't the least bit interested in the baby formula Carlisle was trying to get her to drink. He gave up after a few minutes and gave her some donated blood.

Jacob returned after a couple of hours with Sam, both of them in their human forms. Jacob immediately grabbed Renesmee from Carlisle.

"I owe you and your family an apology, Carlisle," Sam said. "Forgive me. It was wrong of me to act so hastily without cause."

"Of course, Sam," Carlisle said easily. "Believe me; I was about as thrilled as you were about Bella's decision to keep Nessie. That is, until she was born."

"I can see why. She's a beauty."

Jacob's thoughts were smug. "Yes, she is," he said, sounding a bit superior.

"She's safe now," Sam assured Carlisle. "The most absolute of all of our pack laws is that no wolf can kill the object of another wolf's imprinting. The pain it would cause the wolf, and so the entire pack, would be unendurable. It happened once, years ago, by accident. The two wolves involved fought to the death. So, because of Jacob's relationship with Nessie, we can't touch her. Jacob and I head separate packs, but we're still family, and we still respect the laws of the pack."

"That's good news," Carlisle said.

"And, since Jacob, speaking as the rightful Alpha, allowed Bella's transformation, that hasn't breached the treaty, either. Technically, I guess there never was a breach, so, if you're amenable, our treaty is operative again."

"That's good to hear, Sam," Carlisle said.

"Well, I should get back," Sam said. "I guess I have some things I need to discuss with the pack."

"Of course," Carlisle said. "Thank you for coming, Sam."

"You're welcome," Sam said, and then he ran off into the woods to phase.

The treaty was renewed, but Sam was still a little apprehensive about us, much as he tried to hide it. So the friendly feeling would probably never be the same.

A few hours later, the scent of the morphine was completely gone. But Bella still wasn't moving. Now I was worried again. I must have done something wrong.

Carlisle came upstairs to check on her. _Did you hear my conversation with Sam?_

I nodded.

_Good. I'm glad that's resolved, in any case. _"Still no change?" he asked me.

"None."

Carlisle leaned over Bella and sniffed. "There's no scent of the morphine left."

"I know."

"Bella? Can you hear me?" he asked.

Nothing. No response at all from her.

I took Bella's hand. "Bella? Bella, love? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my hand?" _Can you do something, anything to let me know you're still alive?_ But there was nothing. "Maybe…Carlisle, maybe I was too late," I said, my voice breaking.

"Listen to her heart, Edward," he said, trying to soothe me. "It's stronger than even Emmett's was. I've never heard anything so _vital_. She'll be perfect."

"And her—her spine?" I choked out.

"Her injuries weren't so much worse than Esme's. The venom will heal her as it did Esme."

"But she's so still. I _must_ have done something wrong."

"Or something right, Edward. Son, you did everything I could have and more. I'm not sure I would have had the persistence, the faith it took to save her. Stop berating yourself. Bella is going to be fine."

"She must be in agony," I whispered, my voice breaking.

"We don't know that," Carlisle told me. "She had so much morphine in her system. We don't know the effect that will have on her experience."

I took Bella's arm in my hand and squeezed her elbow gently. "Bella, I love you. Bella, I'm sorry."

_Rosalie and Jacob are fighting over who's going to take care of Renesmee until Bella's strong enough to see her. Are you going to go end it?_

Oh, wonderful. Now I was really agitated with Jacob. I still wouldn't deny him his happiness; he'd earned it. But it did bother me that he felt he had such a claim on _my daughter_.

And Rosalie…I read in her thoughts how maternal she felt over Renesmee. That annoyed me even more than Jacob imprinting on her. At least Jacob recognized that she wasn't his child.

But I wasn't going to leave Bella, not for a second.

"No, I'm staying right here," I told him. "They'll sort it out."

"An interesting situation," Carlisle said. _A werewolf imprinting on a half-vampire child. _"And I'd thought I'd seen just about everything."

"I'll deal with it later. _We'll _deal with it," I said, squeezing Bella's hand.

"I'm sure, between the five of us, we can keep it from turning into bloodshed."

I sighed. "I don't know which side to take. I'd love to flog them both. Well, later."

"I wonder what Bella will think—whose side she'll take," my father mused.

I attempted to chuckle. "I'm sure she'll surprise me. She always does."

_I'll leave you with Bella._ Carlisle left.

After a few hours of silence, on both my part and Bella's, Alice came into the room again. She started to dress Bella in the cocktail dress she'd brought into the room earlier and put silver satin stilettos on her feet. I rolled my eyes. Could Alice have dressed Bella any more impractically? Bella was going to have to hunt immediately when she finally woke up; a cocktail dress and stilettos was definitely not the ideal attire for a hunting trip.

"How much longer?" I asked her.

"It won't be long now," Alice told me. "See how clear she's becoming? I can see her so much better." She sighed in relief.

"Still feeling a little better?"

"Yes, thanks so much for bringing it up," she grumbled. "You would be mortified, too, if you realized that you were handcuffed by your own nature. I see vampires best, because I am one; I see humans okay, because I was one. But I can't see these odd half-breeds at all because they're nothing I've ever experienced. Bah!"

"Focus, Alice," I reminded her. I just wanted to know how much longer I would have to sit here, worrying about whether or not Bella was ever going to open her eyes.

"Right. Bella's almost too easy to see now." And then she showed me a vision of Bella and I hunting together. _I saw the beginning of, er, another vision, but I blocked it out._ She grinned.

I sighed in relief and grinned back at Alice. "She's really going to be fine."

"Of course she is."

"You weren't so sanguine two days ago."

"I couldn't _see_ right two days ago. But now that she's free of all the blind spots, it's a piece of cake."

"Could you concentrate for me?" I asked her. "On the clock—give me an estimate."

Alice sighed. "So impatient. Fine. Give me a sec." _About six more hours._

"Thank you, Alice." Six more hours of this, and then Bella would be awake and it would all be over.

"She's going to be dazzling," Alice said.

I growled quietly. "She always has been."

Alice snorted. "You know what I mean. _Look _at her."

I was looking at her. And she didn't look any different to me than she always had. She had always been beautiful, and she always would be. I couldn't see a difference now. I knew everyone else could, but maybe it was just because everyone else finally saw her the way I always had. I saw the beauty there before she was a vampire.

Alice left the room, leaving me with my love once more.

"It's my _turn_," Rosalie snapped at Jacob from downstairs. They were arguing over whose turn it was to feed the baby.

Jacob snarled at her.

"Hey, now," Emmett cautioned. _Jeez, everyone can have a turn with the baby. Chill._

Almost exactly on time with Alice's estimate, six hours later, Bella's heartbeat, already racing, picked up more speed.

"Carlisle," I called, low but clear. He would hear.

Carlisle came into the room a few seconds later, followed closely by Alice.

"Listen," I told them. The loudest sound in the room was Bella's frenzied heart.

"Ah," Carlisle sighed. "It's almost over."

"Soon," Alice agreed eagerly. _About five more minutes. _"I'll get the others. Should I have Rosalie..." _keep the baby away?_

"Yes," I answered. "Keep the baby away." Much as I knew Bella would want to see Renesmee, I wasn't going to risk our daughter's safety like that, having her, with her beating heart and flowing blood, in the same room with a newborn vampire. At least not until I was absolutely sure Bella's thirst was under control.

And then…finally, some sign of life! Bella's fingers twitched, and we all stopped breathing for a moment.

I squeezed my wife's hand. "Bella? Bella, love?"

"I'll bring them right up," Alice said, darting from the room to get Jasper and Emmett.

Bella's heart took off then, whirring like helicopter blades, and her back arched up to the ceiling. She didn't move any other part of her body as she slumped back onto the operating table. Bella's heartbeat was becoming weaker, stuttering. It faltered, and then stopped with a final thud. Then silence. For a moment, nothing.

And then, finally, Bella opened her blood-red eyes.


	21. 18 Relief

18. Relief

Bella just stared up at the ceiling for a moment, her look one of awe, confusion, and distraction all at once. She was taking everything in with her new, sharp senses. Because now she could hear, smell, see, taste, and touch as well as we could. She was one of us.

After a moment, I squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her that I was here, that we were all here. And she locked up her body, growled, and then twisted away from me and an instant later was crouched with her back against the wall, afraid. For a moment, I wondered why.

And then I realized what it was. She was used to me being cold. The fact that we were the same temperature now had come as a shock to her.

I leaned anxiously across the operating table, extending my hand out to Bella. She focused in on my face, but I could tell she was also cataloging everything she saw in her peripheral vision.

My family stood against the wall, waiting anxiously for Bella to say or do something. Emmett and Jasper stood in front, ready to restrain her, if necessary. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice stood behind them.

Something happened to make Bella relax, and she stood up straight immediately.

I moved slowly around the table, exaggerating the slowness so she wouldn't be frightened. My hand was still extended.

"Bella?" I asked, trying to make my voice calming. It didn't entirely work. A little bit of my anxiety came through.

She didn't answer. She looked at me like a deer in headlights.

"Bella, love?" I tried again. "I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting. But you're all right. Everything is fine."

Suddenly, worry lined her face, and I realized that she was trying to remember what happened before her transformation. Worrying about everything that had happened. The part she didn't know was that it all worked out much better than we could have hoped for.

I tried to make my look reassuring as I reached out to touch Bella's face. The same warm yearning I always felt every time I touched her zinged through my body. I was glad for that. Part of me had worried that touching her wouldn't be the same after she was a vampire, too.

I could tell from the look on her face that she felt the same tingling electric sensation that I did.

I arched an eyebrow, waiting for her to say or do something.

She threw her arms around me and buried her face in my chest. She didn't realize how strong she was, and the force of her embrace was crushing me. I shifted my weight uncomfortably, leaning away from her. She looked up at my face, confusion and fear in her eyes.

"Um…carefully, Bella," I said. "Ow."

She yanked her arms away immediately, folding them behind her back, and her lips parted in horror. She understood now.

"Oops," she mouthed.

I smiled. "Don't panic, love," I said, reaching my hand up to touch her lips, which were still parted in horror. "You're just a bit stronger than I am for the moment."

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and I stroked her cheek again, trying to reassure her, and the look of confusion was replaced with one of desire yet again.

I could tell she was trying to be careful as she slowly brought her right arm out from behind her back and touched my cheek. She stared straight into my eyes and spoke for the first time.

"I love you."

Just as I noticed no difference in her features, unlike everyone else, I also noticed no difference in her voice. It still sounded like the most beautiful music in the world. Again, I wondered if I'd just heard the beauty there before her transformation.

I smiled her favorite crooked smile, giddy with happiness. The first thing out of her mouth had been to reassure me of her love for me.

"As I love you," I answered.

I took her face between my hands and, slow enough to remind her to be careful, leaned my face down to hers. I kissed her, as soft as I had when she was human. And then I remembered that I didn't need to be careful anymore. _She_ was the stronger of the two of us. I couldn't hurt her anymore. So then my lips crushed down on hers fiercely, almost roughly.

Her breathing sped the way her heart used to as she kissed me back, but she didn't hurt me again. She somehow remembered to be careful. I wasn't sure how.

After a minute or so, Emmett cleared his throat.

Too soon, Bella broke the kiss and half-stepped away from me with a look of embarrassment on her face, but I wasn't allowing her to move away. I chuckled and stepped with her, keeping my arms tightly around her waist.

She took a deep breath and looked up at me.

"You've been holding out on me," she accused, narrowing her eyes a bit.

I laughed, radiant with relief. It was over. The fear, the pain, the doubt, the uncertainty. Everything was perfect now. More perfect than Bella knew.

"It was sort of necessary at the time," I reminded her. "Now it's your turn to not break _me._" I laughed again. It was strange to realize that Bella was stronger than me now.

_How is she controlling herself so well? _"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle asked, stepping around Emmett and walking towards her.

"Overwhelmed," she told him. "There's so _much_…" She trailed off.

"Yes, it can be quite confusing."

She nodded once. "But I feel like me. Sort of. I didn't expect that."

I tightened my arms around her slightly. "I told you so," I whispered in her ear.

"You are quite controlled," Carlisle mused. "More so than _I_ expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this."

She hesitated for a moment before responding. "I'm not sure about that."

He nodded. "It seems like we did something right with the morphine this time. Tell me, what do you remember of the transformation process?"

She hesitated a bit longer now. "Everything was…very dim before. I remember the baby couldn't breathe…" And then she looked up at me, fear in her eyes.

"Renesmee is healthy and well," I promised. "What do you remember after that?"

"It's hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then…I opened my eyes and I could see _everything_."

"Amazing," Carlisle breathed.

A trace of something crossed Bella's face, but I couldn't identify what it was.

"I want you to think," Carlisle pressed. "To tell me everything you remember."

Bella grimaced.

_How selfish of me! She's thirsty. Of course._ "Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella," Carlisle apologized. "Of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait."

Her hand flew up to cup her throat.

I dropped my arms from around her waist and took her other hand, tugging gently. "Let's hunt, Bella."

Her eyes widened and she looked a little apprehensive.

I smiled. "It's quite easy, love. Instinctual. Don't worry, I'll show you." When she didn't move, I flashed her favorite crooked smile and raised my eyebrows. "I was under the impression that you'd always _wanted_ to see me hunt."

She laughed once.

"Shall we?" I asked. I reached to take the hand that was still on her neck and smoothed down the column of her throat with my fingers. "I don't want you to be hurting," I added in a low murmur, something she would not have been able to hear with human ears.

"I'm fine," she said. Still as stubborn as before. "Wait. First."

"Yes?" Carlisle asked.

"I want to see her. Renesmee." And then her hands flew down to clutch her flat stomach and a confused look crossed her face. I guessed that she was trying to process the fact that Renesmee was really out of her.

Carlisle and I exchanged a guarded glance.

_Son, I don't think that's the best idea…_

No kidding. I wasn't going to allow Bella near Renesmee until after she'd hunted.

Bella saw our silent conversation.

"What?" she demanded.

"Bella," I said soothingly. "That's not really a good idea. She's half-human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control…You don't want to put her in danger, do you?"

She frowned, considering that. "Where is she?" And then she must have heard the heartbeat, because a second later, she asked, "Is Rosalie with her?"

"Yes," I answered in a clipped tone. My sister was _really_ starting to get on my nerves. It was _our_ baby, not hers, and Rosalie was acting like Renesmee was her daughter. It was even more annoying than Jacob imprinting on her.

"Wait," Bella protested again. "What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I unconscious?"

Carlisle and I exchanged another glance.

_How much do we tell her, and how much should she find out for herself? _Carlisle thought.

"What's wrong?" Bella whispered.

"Nothing is _wrong_," Carlisle said, emphasizing the last word. _Different, yes. Something for us to worry about, definitely. But not _wrong. "Nothing has changed much, actually—you were only unaware for just under two days. It was very fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative—the venom injection straight into your heart was his idea." He paused to smile proudly at me, and then sighed. _I guess I should tell her that Jacob's here, but I won't tell her that he's imprinted on Renesmee. I know you promised Jacob you'd let him explain that himself._ "Jacob is still here, and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks you're in Atlanta right now, undergoing tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number, and he's frustrated. He's been speaking to Esme."

"I should call him…" she murmured, but then she trailed off, and I guessed she recognized the difficulty. I was the only one who didn't hear a change in her voice. "Hold on—Jacob is _still here_?"

My father and I glanced at each other again.

_Edward, get her to go hunting with you. Otherwise we'll have to tell her why he's here, and he'll be upset._

"Bella," I said quickly. "There's much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain…" I trailed off.

She swallowed. "But Jacob—"

"We have all the time in the world for explanations, love," I interrupted.

"Okay," she finally acquiesced.

"Wait, wait, wait," Alice trilled from the doorway. She danced across the room. _She has to see herself! _"You promised I could be there the first time! What if you two run past something reflective?"

"Alice—," I protested. Really, wasn't Bella's thirst more important than whether or not Alice got to be there the first time Bella saw herself?

"It will only take a second!" Alice insisted, running from the room to grab a mirror.

I sighed, giving in.

"What is she talking about?" Bella asked.

But before Bella even finished her sentence, Alice was back, carrying the huge, gilt-framed mirror from Rosalie's room, which was nearly as long as she was, and several times as wide.

Jasper suddenly locked his eyes on Bella again, prepared to restrain her if she lost control of herself after seeing her new body for the first time.

Bella's eyes widened as she really looked at Jasper for the first time and she tensed to defend herself.

_She can really see my scars now, and she's cautious. She sees me as a threat. _Jasper smiled wryly.

"Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding," Alice told Bella. "I'm not going to be chewed out again."

"Chewed out?" I asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Maybe I'm overstating things," she murmured absently as she turned the mirror to face Bella.

"And maybe this has solely to do with your own voyeuristic gratification," I countered.

Alice winked at me. _Okay, you got me._

Jasper told me what Bella was feeling as she was looking at herself in the mirror for the first time. _She's pleased. And now she's horrified. I don't think she sees herself in the reflection at all._

"The eyes?" she whispered after a few seconds. "How long?"

"They'll darken up in a few months," I told her, making my voice as soft and comforting as I could. "Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. They'll turn amber first, then gold."

"Months?" she asked, her voice an octave higher than normal. She raised her eyebrows in horror.

Jasper took a step forward, prepared to help restrain her if necessary. _She's upset now. Still horrified._

Alice looked ahead to the immediate future. _I don't see her doing anything to hurt anyone._

Bella took a deep breath. "No, I'm fine," she told us. She looked again at her reflection, and then back to us. "It's just…a lot to take in."

Jasper furrowed his brow. _How is she doing it? How is she controlling her emotions so well? She saw that we were anxious and she reigned herself in._

"I don't know," I murmured.

Bella frowned. "What did I miss?"

I grinned at my wife. "Jasper wonders how you're doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Controlling your emotions, Bella," Jasper told her. "I've never seen a newborn do that—stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reigned it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it."

"Is that wrong?" She froze.

"No," he said in an unsure voice. _I just don't understand it. And I'm not sure if it will last._

I stroked my hand down her arm. "It's very impressive, Bella, but we don't understand it. We don't know how long it can hold."

Bella's expression turned quizzical as she considered that.

"But what do you think?" Alice asked impatiently, pointing to the mirror.

"I'm not sure," Bella said in an unsure, slightly frightened voice. With a wary look in her eye, she raised her hand experimentally and touched her face, watching her reflection do the same.

I sighed.

Bella turned from the mirror to look at me. "Disappointed?"

I laughed. "Yes," I teased.

Shock and hurt were evident on her face.

_How dare you, Edward? _Alice snarled.

_That wasn't the brightest thing to say, bro. She's terrified. _Jasper leaned forward again, waiting for Bella to snap.

But I ignored them both and wrapped my arms tightly around my love, kissing her cheek. "I was rather hoping that I'd be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own," I murmured. "And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head."

I could feel Bella's relief. "Oh well," she said lightly. "I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty."

She was getting to be more and more herself with each passing second.

There weren't words to describe my feelings now. I was happy, excited, anxious, relieved, and a little worried all at the same time. But the dominant emotion was love, the same love for her that had always radiated from every pore of my being.

And, now, I was a little agitated with her, too. She had never seen herself clearly, and apparently she still didn't.

"Bella, you have _never_ been merely pretty," I growled in her ear.

Jasper was getting more and more edgy by the second, waiting for Bella to snap and lose it, like he was used to newborns behaving.

"All right, all right," I told him, pulling unwillingly away from Bella.

"What?" she asked.

"You're making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when you've hunted."

Bella looked at Jasper and nodded, unwrapping my arms from around her and keeping only one of my hands. "Okay. Let's hunt."


	22. 19 First Hunt

19. First Hunt

"The window?" Bella asked anxiously, staring at the ground two stories beneath us.

I smiled. "It's the most convenient exit. If you're frightened, I can carry you."

And part of me hoped she was frightened. I was aching to have her in my arms again. It had been much too long since I'd been able to really hold her, and I'd _never_ been able to hold her and not concentrate intensely on how much force I was using. I'd never been able to hold her without having to concentrate on not killing her.

"We have all eternity, and you're worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?" Bella asked incredulously.

I frowned a bit. "Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs…"

"Oh. Is Renesmee…okay…with Jacob there?" she whispered. "He doesn't like her much."

I pursed my lips. "Trust me, she is perfectly safe. I know exactly what Jacob is thinking." And Jacob was thinking exactly what I was at the moment. That we needed to keep Bella away from the baby until she was under control.

"Of course," Bella muttered, and looked at the ground again.

"Stalling?" I challenged.

"A little. I don't know how…"

Emmett chuckled once under his breath. It took all of my energy to not attack him, or at least growl at him. Of course Bella wouldn't know how to do this right away. She was, what, twenty minutes old?

"Watch me," I told her, and then stepped casually out of the open window.

I could feel her eyes on me, and, when I'd landed, I turned to look at her. She was wearing a look of intense concentration.

She clenched her teeth and followed.

Bella landed quite gracefully on the ground, even for a vampire. Quite a feat, considering that Alice had dressed her in stilettos. What _had_ Alice been thinking when she'd dressed Bella?

She grinned at me. "Right. Easy."

I smiled back. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"That was quite graceful—even for a vampire."

Bella cocked her head to the side for a moment as she considered that, and, when none of my family laughed at my statement, her mouth stretched into a wide grin.

"_Thank _you."

She hooked the silver satin stilettos Alice had put on her off her feet one by one, and lobbed them together through the window.

Alice caught them. "Her fashion sense hasn't improved as much as her balance," she grumbled.

I took her hand and darted through the backyard to the edge of the river. She went along, keeping pace with me effortlessly.

"Are we swimming?" she asked when we stopped beside the water.

"And ruin your pretty dress? No. We're jumping."

She pursed her lips. "You first."

I touched her cheek, took two quick strides backward, and launched myself across the river.

"Show-off," she muttered when she heard me land.

I laughed.

I heard her footsteps as she took five steps back, and then the tearing of fabric, and I guessed that her dress had ripped. For the umpteenth time, I wondered _why_ Alice had insisted on dressing Bella for a cocktail party when she knew Bella was going to have to hunt the second she woke up. I heard fabric ripping again, and I read in the thoughts of everyone in the house that Bella was modifying her dress so she could run more easily.

Alice gritted her teeth. _Her fashion sense definitely hasn't improved._

Everyone else, including Jacob, was just amused at the show, and at the fact that Bella hadn't yet followed me across the river. They were all chuckling.

"Bella?" I called, walking back toward the river. "Do you want to watch again?"

She didn't answer, but I heard her running and the sound of her flying through the air. I followed the noise, but all I heard was tree branches rustling, and she was nowhere to be found. But, given that she was laughing delightedly, I guessed she was all right.

When I finally reached her tree, I was shocked at how far she'd jumped. It had to have been at least twice the width of the river, and she had landed with perfect skill and grace fifteen feet from the ground on the wide branch of a Sitka spruce. My eyes widened in shock. I was having a little bit of difficulty remembering that she was a vampire now, that she was no longer in danger of getting hurt by any natural causes.

She leaped nimbly from the branch and landed soundlessly at my side. "Was that good?" she asked, her breathing speeding with excitement.

"Very good," I said as casually as I could manage, smiling approvingly.

"Can we do it again?"

"Focus, Bella—we're on a hunting trip."

"Oh, right." She nodded. "Hunting."

"Follow me…if you can," I taunted, grinning at her. I broke into a run.

I was faster than her, but she was stronger, and every stride of hers matched the length of three of mine. So we flew side by side through the forest. And, as we ran, Bella laughed delightedly. I couldn't have been more thrilled by her excitement.

Eventually, her strength built up even more and I was having a harder time keeping pace with her. It wasn't impossible, but just because I wanted to hear her delighted laughter again, a sound I hadn't heard in much too long, I slowed down and let her gain the lead. She didn't disappoint. Another peal of laughter broke through her lips as she ran ahead of me. I stopped.

"Bella," I called dryly, lazily.

She sighed and whirled back around, skipping lightly back to my side. She stared at me with the dazzled look that she'd worn so often back when we'd first met. She was seeing me with new eyes.

I smiled. "Did you want to stay in the country?" I teased, amused. "Or were you planning to continue on to Canada this afternoon?"

"This is fine," she said. "What are we hunting?"

"Elk. I thought something easy for your first time…" I trailed off when her eyes narrowed at the word _easy._

_I_ was parched, so I could only imagine how thirsty Bella must be. It pained me to imagine. I didn't want my love to be in pain.

"Where?" she asked.

"Hold still for a minute," I instructed, placing my hands on her shoulders. She froze obediently.

"Now close your eyes," I murmured. When she obeyed, I raised my hands to her face, stroking her cheekbones. Her breathing sped in response to my touch.

I knew it was the wrong thing to be doing. I knew that my touch would distract her. But, even with that knowledge, I couldn't stop myself. I could finally touch her now and not worry about whether I was being too rough. Not worry about whether I was hurting her.

I was just as easily distractible as Bella right now. Maybe I should have had Carlisle take her on her first hunting trip. He wouldn't be distracted by a warm yearning simply from placing his hands on Bella's shoulders. And she wouldn't be distracted every time he touched her. But, then, I didn't know if I would have been able to bear Bella leaving me for a few hours to go hunting. It would cause me physical pain, even more than before, to be separated from her now. And, regardless, it was a bit late to do anything about this. So, using all of my effort, I forced myself to concentrate.

I listened to the sounds of nature, trying to locate Bella's prey so I could tell her where to listen, if I needed to. I heard five elk by the creek to the northeast.

"Listen," I instructed after a moment. "What do you hear?"

She was silent for a few seconds before responding. Probably trying to focus.

"By the creek, to the northeast?" she asked, her eyes still shut.

How was she doing so well at this? She was only an hour old. Usually, a newborn would have been too distracted by the sound of _everything_, all at once, that they wouldn't have been able to single out a specific sound.

"Yes," I said in an approving tone. "Now…wait for the breeze again and…what do you smell?"

She wrinkled her nose as she smelled the herbivores. They didn't smell appetizing to her.

I chuckled. "I know—it takes some getting used to."

"Three?"

"Five. There are two more in the trees behind them."

"What do I do now?" she asked.

I smiled. "What do you feel like doing?"

Eyes still closed, Bella took a deep breath. And then her eyes snapped open.

"Don't think about it," I suggested, unwillingly lifting my hands off her face and taking a step back. "Just follow your instincts."

Bella took off, following the scent, and I followed her, careful not to make any noise to trigger her instinct to defend herself. She hesitated, sinking into a hunting crouch (without needing instruction from me as to how—again, I was shocked) at the edge of the trees. She tensed to spring.

And then the wind shifted, blowing stronger now, from the south. It carried with it the scent of human blood.

Damn it! How could I have been so careless as to not check to make sure that there were no humans around before setting Bella, a newborn vampire, loose? I wanted to kick myself.

Of course, Bella reacted like any newborn vampire and followed the scent of the human blood. This time, I followed a little more noisily than necessary. I knew from experience that the only thing that could distract a vampire from hunting was the instinct of self-preservation. If she heard me following her, perhaps she would stop hunting the humans and I could lead her away. Although I knew I would not be strong enough to restrain her.

Part of my mind considered this conundrum, wondering how to keep Bella from doing something I knew she would regret. The other part concentrated on not letting the scent of the human blood get the best of me, too.

Bella slowed suddenly, and I guessed that she had heard me. As she spun around to face me, she growled at me. And then she stopped cold, and a look of fear crossed her face.

I stopped where I was and held my arms out, ready to make my pathetic attempt to restrain her if I needed to.

The wind mercifully shifted then, taking with it the scent.

Bella jerked out of her defensive crouch and held her breath. I watched in amazement as I saw reason return to her face. I took a step toward her, lowering my arms.

"I have to get away from here," she spit through her teeth.

I couldn't keep the shock off of my face. "_Can_ you leave?"

Instead of answering, she broke into a run, going the opposite direction from the scent of the humans. I followed her, amazed.

_How had she run away?_ The words burned in my mind and baffled me.

Bella was a newborn vampire. Her blood-red eyes gave proof to that. And the fact that she was now able to run almost as fast as I could, and her newfound grace and elegance. So _how _in the name of all that was holy had she been able to run away from the scent of pure human blood? While she was hunting, no less? It didn't make any sense.

She froze, and I flew past her, unprepared to stop. I wheeled around and was at her side in a second. I put my hands on her shoulders and stared into her eyes, shocked.

"How did you do that?" I demanded.

"You let me beat you before, didn't you?" she demanded, ignoring my question.

I shrugged and shook my head, not in denial. I was still in shock.

I refused to be deflected. "Bella, how did you do it?"

"Run away? I held my breath."

"But how did you stop hunting?"

"When you came up behind me…I'm so sorry about that."

"Why are you apologizing to _me_? I'm the one who was horribly careless. I assumed no one would be so far from the trails, but I should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! _You _have nothing to apologize for."

"But I growled at you!" she exclaimed, horror in her voice.

"Of course you did," I told her. "That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran away."

"What else could I do?" she asked, sounding confused. "It might have been someone I know!"

How was she being so rational? She should not be able to do any of this. She should not have been able to even concentrate enough to find the elk in the first place. She should not be able to stand here discussing this calmly and coolly with me now. And, much more than any of that, she should _not_ have been able to turn away from the scent of pure human blood while she was hunting.

Almost involuntarily, I threw my head back and laughed loudly.

"_Why are you laughing at me?_" Bella demanded.

Sensing her distress, I stopped. "I'm not laughing at you, Bella," I explained. "I'm laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I am completely amazed."

"Why?"

"You shouldn't be able to do any of this. You shouldn't be so…so rational. You shouldn't be able to stand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should _not_ have been able to break off mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires have difficulty with that—we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella, you're behaving like you're decades rather than days old."

"Oh," she said simply.

I was past shock now. I was in awe. I was unable to resist touching my wife's face again.

"What I wouldn't give to be able to see into your mind for just this one moment."

Bella reached up to trace my face, her fingers lingering on my lips.

"I thought I wouldn't feel this way for a long time?" she said, her uncertainty making the words a question. "But I still _want_ you."

Shock again. _How_ in the name of _all_ that was holy could she concentrate on _that?_ Of course, I still wanted her, too, and I was thrilled that perhaps I wouldn't have to wait for very much longer to be with her, but we were _hunting_, for goodness' sake! She was a newborn vampire and she hadn't yet drunk a single drop of blood. It didn't make sense.

I blinked in shock. "How can you even concentrate on that? Aren't you unbearably thirsty?"

She tried to swallow, then sighed and closed her eyes.

This time I was smarter. I dropped my hands and backed up a bit, not even breathing while Bella tried to locate her prey.

She followed the trail of a mountain lion east; I followed her.

The lion was in a tree, and Bella, without seeming to think about it, jumped up into the tree, gaining the strategic higher position halfway up a towering silver fir. She focused in on her prey, then crouched and sprang.

I knew that Bella was a vampire now. I knew that she was stronger than the lion, that he wouldn't even scratch her. But I still had an anxiety attack as I watched her wrestle with the great cat; I didn't calm down until his protesting screams cut off with a gurgle as Bella drank his blood.

Bella shoved the dry carcass off of herself when she was done, looking a little disgusted. Her hair was tangled and she was covered in dirt. The lion's claws had had much better success with her silk dress than they'd had against her skin; the dress hung off of her in tatters, stained with the cat's blood. Really, though, she'd done remarkably well for her first time.

"Hmm," I said thoughtfully as she approached me.

"I guess I could have done that better."

"You did perfectly fine. It's just that…it was much more difficult for me to watch than it should have been."

She raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"It goes against the grain, letting you wrestle with lions," I explained. "I was having an anxiety attack the whole time."

"Silly."

I smiled. "I know. Old habits die hard. I like the improvements to your dress, though." Very much.

"Why am I still thirsty?" she asked, changing the subject.

Finally, a normal response for a newborn to have!

"Because you're young."

She sighed. "And I don't suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby."

"Plenty of deer, though."

She made a face. "They don't smell as good."

"Herbivores," I explained. "The meat-eaters smell more like humans."

"Not that much like humans."

"We could go back," I teased solemnly. "Whoever it was out there, if they were men, they probably wouldn't even mind death if you were the one delivering it." I took in her ravaged dress again, enjoying the sight immensely. "In fact, they would think they were already dead and gone to heaven the moment they saw you."

She rolled her eyes and snorted. "Let's go hunt some stinking herbivores."

We found a large herd of male deer as we ran back toward home. I hunted with her this time, now that she'd gotten the hang of it. She brought down a large buck, making nearly as much of a mess with it as she had with the lion. I finished with two before she was done with one, not even getting so much as a spot of blood on my shirt. We chased the scattered and terrified herd, and I brought down another buck.

When I'd finished, I turned to face Bella. Instead of hunting, like I'd thought she'd be doing, she was staring at me, looking dazzled and smug at the same time. I looked curiously at her.

"No longer thirsty?" I asked.

She shrugged. "You distracted me. You're much better at it than I am."

"Centuries of practice," I said, smiling.

"Just one," she corrected me.

I laughed. "Are you done for today? Or did you want to continue?"

"Done, I think." She wore a calculating expression, like she was trying to decipher something. And then, a moment later, she said, "I want to see Renesmee."

I hadn't planned on letting Bella see Renesmee or Jacob right away. But she'd just turned away from the scent of pure human blood while she was hunting. Surely she'd be able to resist drinking the blood of her best friend, a werewolf, and her own half-vampire child.

I held my hand out to her, and she took it. She reached up to stroke my face, staring straight into my eyes. Carefully, she stretched up on her toes and wrapped her arms gently around me.

I wasn't nearly as hesitant as she was in my movements. I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and crushed my lips down on hers with as much force as I could. Kissing her was the same, but different. Her lips no longer shaped themselves around mine; they held their own. She didn't need to shape her lips around mine anymore, because I didn't have to be careful anymore.

And it was better than it ever had been, because I could completely concentrate on the sensation, not have part of my mind keeping tabs on how much force I was exerting and whether or not I was hurting her. It was as if the touch of her skin, her lips, was sinking right through me, to my core. There weren't words for the feeling. It was joy, ecstasy, love, pleasure, and, well, a little bit of smugness all mixed together. She was _mine_, and now we would be together forever.

She responded to the intensity of my kiss, and suddenly we were falling.

"Oops," she said.

I laughed.

"I didn't mean to tackle you like that," she said. "Are you okay?"

I stroked her face. "Slightly better than _okay_."

I definitely wasn't averse to procrastinating our return trip. It was hard to think of anything other than her skin on mine. I almost didn't want to give her the option to go back yet, but I knew Bella needed to see our daughter.

"Renesmee?" I asked uncertainly, trying to ascertain what she wanted most in this moment.

She puzzled over the dilemma for a moment before speaking.

"Renesmee," she agreed ruefully, leaping back up onto her feet, pulling me with her.


	23. 20 Imprinted

20. Imprinted

"Tell me about her," Bella requested as she took my hand and started back for the house. Being linked barely slowed us as we ran.

"She's like nothing else in this world," I told her, with an almost reverent tone in my voice. Renesmee already had me entirely wrapped around her little finger. She was beautiful. She was perfect. And she was _mine_. I had helped to create her.

"How much is she like you? How much like me? Or like I was, anyway."

"It seems a fairly even divide."

"She was warm-blooded," she recalled.

"Yes. She has a heartbeat, though it runs a little bit faster than a human's. Her temperature is a little bit hotter than usual, too. She sleeps."

"Really?"

"Quite well for a newborn. The only parents in the world who don't need sleep, and our child already sleeps through the night." I chuckled.

Bella smiled when I said _our child_.

I liked the sound of it as much as she seemed to.

"She has exactly your color eyes—so that didn't get lost," I continued, smiling at her. "They're so beautiful."

"And the vampire parts?" she asked.

"Her skin seems about as impenetrable as ours. Not that anyone would dream of testing that."

She blinked in shock.

"Of course no one would," I assured her. "Her diet…well, she prefers to drink blood. Carlisle continues to try to persuade her to drink some baby formula, too, but she doesn't have much patience with it. Can't say that I blame her—nasty-smelling stuff, even for human food."

Bella gaped at me. "Persuade her?"

"She's intelligent," I explained, "shockingly so, and progressing at an immense pace. Though she doesn't speak—yet—she communicates quite effectively."

"Doesn't. Speak. _Yet._"

I slowed our pace, letting her absorb that.

"What do you mean, she communicates effectively?" she asked after a moment.

"I think it will be easier for you to…see for yourself. It's rather difficult to describe."

Her expression turned thoughtful for a moment, and then became a little pained. "Why is Jacob still here? How can he stand it? Why should he?" Her voice trembled a bit; she thought Jacob was still in pain over her. "Why should he have to suffer more?"

"Jacob isn't suffering," I said in a tone that was somewhere between grudging acceptance and irritation. "Though I might be willing to change his condition," I added through my teeth.

"Edward!" Bella hissed, yanking me to a stop. It was a little shocking to realize that she _could_ do that. "How can you say that? Jacob has given up _everything_ to protect us! What I've put him through—!" She cringed at the memory.

"You'll see exactly how I can say that," I muttered. "I promised him that I would let him explain, but I doubt you'll see it much differently than I do. Of course, I'm often wrong about your thoughts, aren't I?" I pursed my lips and eyed her.

"Explain what?"

I shook my head. "I promised. Though I don't know if I really owe him anything at all anymore…" I gritted my teeth thinking about how possessive he was over _my_ daughter.

"Edward, I don't understand," Bella said in a frustrated tone.

I stroked her cheek and smiled when her face smoothed out in response. "It's harder than you make it look, I know. I remember."

"I don't like feeling confused."

"I know," I said in a gentle tone. "And so let's get you home, so that you can see for yourself."

As I spoke of going home, I once again eyed the remains of her dress and realized that she could not walk into the house looking like that. I frowned.

"Hmm," I said, unbuttoning my shirt, and then removing it and holding it out for Bella to put her arms through.

"That bad?"

I grinned.

She slipped her arms into my sleeves and then quickly buttoned it over her ragged dress.

"I'll race you," she said. "No throwing the game this time!"

I dropped her hand and grinned again. "On your mark…"

She took off before I'd even said _go_.

I had her beat until we hit the river, but she used her extra strength to make the leap early, and so landed before I did.

"Ha!" she exulted.

It wasn't until then that I heard the sound of a beating heart, much too close. I panicked, and then heard Jacob's mind.

_I'm not letting Bella get anywhere near Nessie until she tests herself with me first._

I panicked some more. Even though Bella had run away from the hikers on our hunt, it still didn't mean that surprising her was the best way to go about this.

I landed beside Bella and clamped my hands down on the tops of her arms. "Don't breathe," I cautioned.

Jacob stood at the line where the forest touched our lawn, his arms folded across his chest, his jaw clenched. Invisible in the woods behind him were Seth and Leah, in their wolf forms.

"Carefully, Jacob," I said, and Leah snarled, echoing my statement. "Maybe this isn't the best way—"

"You think it would be better to let her near the baby first?" Jacob interrupted. "It's safer to see how Bella does with me. I heal fast." _You're not going to talk me out of this, bloodsucker._

Bella glanced at me anxiously; I deliberated and then decided that I couldn't deny the logic there. I shrugged.

"It's your neck, I guess," I said, in a tone that was more hostile than necessary.

Leah growled again, furious.

Bella looked confused, scared, and a little sick all at the same time. She didn't like this test at all. Seeing if she could not kill her best friend before she could not kill her daughter.

When Bella's eyes met Jacob's, he grinned at her, assuring her that their friendship was still intact.

He shuddered a little and widened his grin. "I gotta say it, Bells. You're a freak show."

Bella grinned back.

I didn't like him insulting my wife like that, even though I knew he was joking. I growled. "Watch yourself, mongrel."

The wind blew from behind and Bella took a deep breath.

"No, he's right," she said. "The eyes are really something, aren't they?"

"Super-creepy. But it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be."

"Gee—thanks for the amazing compliment!"

Jacob rolled his eyes. _This isn't that bad. She's still Bella. The same Bella I knew before. _"You know what I mean. You still look like you—sort of. Maybe it's not the look so much as…you _are_ Bella. I didn't think it would feel like you were still here." He smiled at her, the same smile she used to love to see him wear. Then he chuckled and said, "Anyway, I guess I'll get used to the eyes soon enough."

"You will?" Bella asked, confused.

For a second, guilt crossed Jacob's face, erasing the smile. Then he turned to look at me.

"Thanks," he said. "I didn't know if you'd be able to keep it from her, promise or not. Usually, you just give her everything she wants."

"Maybe I'm hoping she'll get irritated and rip your head off," I suggested.

Jacob snorted. _Right._

"What's going on?" Bella demanded incredulously. "Are you two keeping secrets from me?"

"I'll explain later," Jacob said self-consciously. He wasn't looking forward to _that_ conversation one bit. "First, let's get this show on the road." He grinned at her again, a challenge now, as he moved forward.

There was a whine of protest from Leah as he moved forward, and she and Seth came out of the trees behind him.

"Cool it, guys," Jacob told them. "Stay out of this."

They didn't trust Bella, so they didn't listen to Jacob. They just followed him a bit more slowly.

He got close enough for Bella and me to feel the heat of his body in the air between us.

"C'mon, Bells. Do your worst."

Leah hissed. _Don't even think about hurting him._

Bella was hesitant, understandably. She didn't want to take this kind of advantage of her best friend. But neither of us could deny the logic. How else could we be positive that she wouldn't hurt Renesmee?

"I'm getting older here, Bella," Jacob taunted. "Okay, not technically, but you get the idea. Go on, take a whiff."

"Hold on to me," she said to me, cringing back into my chest.

I tightened my hands on her arms, partially in encouragement and partially in restraint.

I could feel her muscles lock down as she prepared to smell Jacob. And then she took a small, hesitant breath. Her nose wrinkled.

She took another breath and relaxed. "Huh. I can see what everyone's been going on about. You stink, Jacob."

I burst into laughter and slid my hands down her shoulders to wrap them around her waist. Seth barked a low chortle in harmony with me. He came a little closer, while his sister retreated several paces. And my family laughed from inside the house, too. I heard Alice's trilling laughter and Emmett's low guffaw.

"Look who's talking," Jacob said, theatrically plugging his nose.

I could tell Bella was confused when Jacob's face didn't pucker at all while I embraced her, not even when I composed myself and whispered "I love you" in her ear. Jacob just kept grinning. And Bella was glad, but still confused.

"Okay, so I passed, right?" Bella asked. "Now are you going to tell me what this big secret is?"

Jacob was nervous again. "It's nothing you need to worry about right this second…"

Emmett chuckled again—this time in anticipation. He, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie had all bet on whether Bella was going to rip Jacob's head off when she found out he'd imprinted on Renesmee. Alice had been the only one to think that she wouldn't, and this time she was a fair participant, because she couldn't see what would happen since Jacob was involved.

"Renesmee," Bella whispered, freezing in place again.

"Come and see," I murmured. "I know you can handle this."

"You'll help me?" she whispered through motionless lips.

"Of course I will."

"And Emmett and Jasper—just in case?"

"We'll take care of you, Bella," I promised. "Don't worry, we'll be ready. None of us would risk Renesmee. I think you'll be surprised at how entirely she's already wrapped us all around her little fingers. She'll be perfectly safe, no matter what."

Bella took a cautious step forward.

And then Jacob was in our way, his face lined with his worry.

"Are you _sure_, bloodsucker?" he demanded, his voice pleading. "I don't like this. Maybe she should wait—"

"You had your test, Jacob," I snapped.

"But—"

"But nothing," I said, exasperated. "Bella needs to see _our_ daughter. Get out of her way."

Jacob shot Bella a frantic look before turning and nearly sprinting into the house ahead of us.

I couldn't help myself; I growled. Jacob was worse than the most overprotective mother on the planet, and Renesmee wasn't even his child.

Bella's face was now a mixture of confusion and anticipation.

"Shall we?" I asked in a gentle voice.

She nodded nervously.

I took her hand and led her inside.

They all waited for her in a smiling line that was both welcoming and defensive. Rosalie stood several paces behind the rest of them, holding Renesmee. Jacob joined her and stood closer than normal, but there was no comfort in the closeness; both of them cringed away from the proximity.

Renesmee leaned forward out of Rosalie's arms, anxious to finally see her mother.

"I was out just two days?" Bella gasped in disbelief.

Renesmee looked like she was weeks, if not months, old. She was about twice the size she was at the delivery and she was supporting herself easily as she stretched toward Bella. Her bronze hair, exactly the same shade as mine, fell in ringlets past her shoulders. And her chocolate eyes, exactly the same color as Bella's, examined her mother with an interest that was not at all childlike; it was adult, aware and intelligent. She raised one hand, reaching in my direction for a moment, and then reached back to touch Rosalie's throat.

_Is that my momma?_ she asked Rosalie.

Rosalie patted Renesmee's hand. "Yes, that's her."

Renesmee's eyes didn't leave Bella. She smiled widely at her mother, a brilliant flash of tiny, perfect white teeth.

Bella took a hesitant step towards her.

I should have known she wasn't going to do anything. She'd run away from the hikers on our hunt, and she hadn't hurt Jacob. But I still couldn't stop myself from gripping Bella tightly from behind. I still wasn't completely comfortable with this. Emmett and Jasper were right in front of her, shoulder to shoulder, hands ready. Even Carlisle and Esme moved to get their flanks, while Rosalie backed to the door, clutching Renesmee. Jacob moved, too, keeping his protective stance in front of them.

Alice was the only one who held her place.

"Oh, give her some credit," she chided. "She wasn't going to do anything. You'd want a closer look, too."

"I'm okay," Bella promised, patting my hand. After a moment, she added, "Keep close, though, just in case."

Jasper was reading Bella's every emotion, and he could sense her nervousness. But, as Bella saw what he was doing, she settled into a steady calm. When Jasper registered this, I loosened my hold on Bella.

When she heard Bella's voice, Renesmee struggled in Rosalie's arms, reaching toward her mother again. She was impatient. She wanted to see her mother.

"Jazz, Em, let us through," I told them. "Bella's got this."

"Edward, the risk—," Jasper started to say.

"Minimal. Listen, Jasper—on the hunt she caught the scent of some hikers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time…"

Carlisle sucked in a shocked breath, while Esme was concerned. Jasper's eyes widened, but he nodded. He thought that I thought Bella was all right because she'd already fed on humans. Jacob finally showed his disgust for what Bella had become, his mouth screwing up into a grimace. Emmett shrugged, and Rosalie was even less concerned than Emmett, concentrating only on keeping a hold of the struggling child in her arms.

Alice, of course, knew that Bella hadn't hunted the humans.

"Edward!" Carlisle chastened. "How could you be so irresponsible?"

"I know, Carlisle, I know. I was just plain stupid. I should have taken the time to make sure we were in a safe zone before I set her loose."

"Edward," Bella mumbled self-consciously.

"He's absolutely right to rebuke me, Bella," I told her, grinning. "The fact that you are stronger than anyone I've ever known doesn't change that."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Tasteful joke, Edward."

"I wasn't making a joke," I told her. "I was explaining to Jasper why I know Bella can handle this. It's not my fault everyone jumped to conclusions."

"Wait," Jasper gasped. "She didn't hunt the humans?"

"She started to," I said, enjoying myself. Bella's teeth ground together. "She was entirely focused on the hunt."

"What happened?" Carlisle asked impatiently. His eyes were bright with the thrill of new information, a smile forming on his face.

I leaned toward him as I continued. "She heard me behind her and reacted defensively. As soon as my pursuit broke into her concentration, she snapped right out of it. I've never seen anything equal to her. She realized at once what was happening, and then…_she held her breath and ran away._"

"Whoa," Emmett murmured. "Seriously?"

"He's not telling it right," Bella muttered, embarrassed. "He left out the part where I growled at him."

"Did ya get in a couple of good swipes?" Emmett asked eagerly.

"No! Of course not."

"No, not really? You really didn't attack him?"

"Emmett!" Bella protested.

"Aw, what a waste," Emmett groaned. "And here you're probably the one person who could take him—since he can't get in your head to cheat—and you had a perfect excuse, too." He sighed. "I've been dying to see how he'd do without that advantage."

Bella glared at him icily. "I would never."

Jasper frowned. _It's not natural. I don't understand it._

I mock-punched Jasper's shoulder. "You see what I mean?"

"It's not natural," he muttered.

"She could have turned on you—she's only hours old!" Esme scolded, putting her hand against her heart. "Oh, we should have gone with you."

I could tell Bella had had enough of this conversation. She was looking at our daughter, who was still reaching toward her, eager for the reunion. Bella's hand moved to mimic hers.

"Edward," she said, leaning around Jasper to see her better. "Please?"

Jasper's teeth were set; he didn't move. He still didn't trust Bella and he didn't understand her control.

"Jazz, this isn't anything you've seen before," Alice said quietly. "Trust me."

Their eyes met for a short second, and when Jasper saw the confidence in Alice's eyes, he nodded. He moved out of our way, but he put one hand on Bella's shoulder and walked with her as she moved forward.

I could tell that Bella was being very cautious and gauging her mood as she moved closer to our daughter. But Renesmee was not so patient. She let out a high-pitched wail.

Everyone, including me, swarmed around her, leaving Bella standing alone, still frozen in place. We all had a hand on Renesmee, patting and soothing her.

"What's the matter? Is she hurt? What happened?" Jacob demanded in a tone that was, again, worse than the most overprotective mother. He reached for Renesmee, and Rosalie handed her over without a fight.

"No, she's fine," Rosalie assured him.

Renesmee went to Jacob willingly, pressing her hand against his cheek and then squirming around to reach toward her mother again.

"See?" Rosalie said. "She just wants Bella."

"She wants me?" Bella whispered in an awed tone.

Renesmee stared impatiently at her.

I darted back to my wife's side, put my hands lightly on her arms, and urged her forward.

"She's been waiting for you for almost three days," I murmured.

Jacob was holding Renesmee still, and trembling as Bella got closer to her. I really felt like cracking his skull right about now. And yet, despite his obvious anxiety, he was happier than I'd ever seen him. And with that, I was reminded why I had been okay with this, why I was allowing Jacob to be with my daughter.

"Jake—I'm fine," Bella told him.

He frowned at her, still not trusting Bella's control.

Renesmee whimpered and eagerly stretched toward Bella, clenching her little hands into fists again and again.

And then Bella took the last step toward Renesmee and reached for her and pulled her gently to her chest.

Jacob let his arms stretch so that Bella could cradle her, but he didn't let go. He shuddered a little at Bella's cold touch. Renesmee, however, was used to our cold skin.

She looked up and smiled at her mother again. Then, she reached and put her hand on Bella's face.

For a split second, I wondered if Bella would be able to see what Renesmee wanted to show her. But, in case she _could_ see, all the hands on Bella tightened, anticipating her reaction.

Bella gasped in shock, so I realized that she could see what Renesmee was showing her: the only memory she had of her, the memory from the delivery. She wanted Bella to know that she had made the connection, that she knew who she was.

In the memory, Bella was still human, and I wondered if, like me, Renesmee saw no difference. Bella's memory face was twisted, ravaged, covered in sweat and blood. I cringed as I remembered it along with Renesmee. But, despite this, Bella's expression in the memory became an adoring smile, her brown eyes glowing. Her face enlarged, as I had moved Renesmee closer to Bella, and then vanished.

Renesmee dropped her hand and smiled wider.

No one in the room so much as breathed, besides Jacob and Renesmee. We were all waiting for Bella to say something.

"What…was…_that_?" Bella choked out.

"What did you see?" Rosalie asked curiously, leaning around Jacob. "What did she show you?"

"_She_ showed me that?"

"I told you it was hard to explain," I murmured in her ear. "But effective as means of communication go."

"What was it?" Jacob asked.

Bella blinked quickly several times. "Um. Me. I think. But I looked terrible."

"It was the only memory she had of you," I explained, my voice rough. I was still cringing from reliving the horrid memory. "She's letting you know that she's made the connection, that she knows who you are."

"But _how_ did she do that?"

Renesmee was unconcerned with Bella's boggling eyes. She was used to this reaction to her gift by now. She was smiling slightly and pulling lightly on a lock of her mother's hair.

"How do I hear thoughts? How does Alice see the future?" I asked rhetorically, shrugging. "She's gifted."

"It's an interesting twist," Carlisle told me. "Like she's doing the exact opposite of what you can."

"Interesting," I agreed. "I wonder…"

If Renesmee had taken my talent and flipped it, perhaps she had also done the same with Bella's talent, if that was indeed her talent. Bella was immune to vampires whose abilities worked on the mind, like mine or Aro's or Jane's. So perhaps Renesmee had taken the glitch in Bella's mind and flipped it, too. Bella kept everyone out; no one kept Renesmee out.

Or…perhaps it was merely because Renesmee was Bella's daughter. I used to tease Bella about her brain running on a different frequency than everyone else's. Perhaps Renesmee's brain ran on the same frequency. But, as I could read Renesmee's thoughts, that didn't seem entirely likely.

"I remember you, too," Bella whispered to Renesmee, leaning slowly in to kiss her forehead.

Jasper tensed a bit, and the rest of us hovered a little over Bella, still not completely trusting her.

"She's fine," Alice murmured to Jasper.

"Haven't we experimented enough for one day?" Jacob asked anxiously. "Okay, Bella's doing great, but let's not push it."

Bella glared at her best friend, irritated. Jasper shuffled uneasily next to her, sensing the change in her mood.

"What is your _problem_, Jacob?" she demanded. She tugged tightly against his hold on Renesmee, but he just moved closer to her. He was pressed right up against her, Renesmee touching both of their chests.

I hissed at him. "Just because I understand, it doesn't mean I won't throw you out, Jacob. Bella's doing extraordinarily well. Don't ruin the moment for her."

"I'll help him toss you out, dog," Rosalie promised, her voice seething. "I owe you a good kick in the gut."

Bella glared at Jacob's anxious, and now half-angry, expression. His eyes were locked on my daughter's face, staring at her like a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time, as Bella had once described it. With everyone pressing up against each other, he was touching six different vampires at the moment, but he didn't even notice.

Bella's face was now confused as she tried to understand why Jacob's behavior had changed so abruptly. She didn't understand why Jacob would sacrifice himself just to keep Bella from doing something she would regret for the rest of her immortal life. She knew something had to have happened to change his attitude, to make him behave like this.

And then it clicked.

"_No!_" she gasped.

Jasper's teeth ground together, and I wrapped my arms around her chest tightly, restraining her. Jacob had Renesmee out of Bella's arms in the same second, and Bella didn't try to hold on to her.

"Rose," Bella said through her teeth. "Take Renesmee."

Rosalie held her hands out, and Jacob handed Renesmee off to her at once. They both backed away from Bella.

"Edward, I don't want to hurt you, so please let go of me," Bella said, her voice restrained.

I hesitated. I knew she would be upset later if she hurt Jacob, but I was glad she didn't see this any differently than I did.

"Go stand in front of Renesmee," Bella suggested.

I deliberated some more, and then let her go.

Bella leaned in to her hunting crouch and took two slow steps forward toward Jacob.

"You didn't," she snarled at him.

Jacob backed away, palms us, trying to reason with her. "You know it's not something I can control."

"You _stupid mutt!_ How _could_ you? _My baby!_"

He backed out the front door now as Bella stalked him, half running backwards down the stairs. "It wasn't my idea, Bella!"

"I've held her all of _one_ time, and already you think you have some moronic wolfy claim to her? She's _mine_."

"I can share," he pleaded as he retreated across the lawn.

"Pay up," Emmett muttered to Alice.

"How dare you _imprint_ on my baby? Have you lost your mind?"

"It was involuntary!" he insisted, backing into the trees.

Then Jacob wasn't alone. Seth and Leah were on either side of him. Leah snapped at Bella.

Bella was past words now. She snarled at Jacob.

"Bella, would you try to listen for just a second? Please?" Jacob begged. "Leah, back off."

Leah curled her lip at Bella and didn't move.

"Why should I listen?" Bella hissed.

"Because you're the one that told me this. Do you remember? You said we belonged in each other's lives, right? That we were family. You said that was how you and I were supposed to be. So…now we are. It's what you wanted."

Bella glared ferociously at him. "You think you'll be part of my family as my _son-in-law!_"

Emmett laughed. He was enjoying this immensely. I had to admit, I was grimly satisfied with this outcome as well.

"Stop her, Edward," Esme murmured. "She'll be unhappy if she hurts him."

But I didn't move to restrain her.

"No!" Jacob insisted at the same time. "How can you even look at it that way? She's just a baby, for crying out loud!"

"That's my _point_!" she yelled.

"You know I don't think of her that way! Do you think Edward would have let me live this long if I did?"

He had a point. I wouldn't have let him live this long if he thought of Renesmee like that. Well, maybe I would have let him live, but I wouldn't have let him within a hundred yards of her.

"All I want is for her to be safe and happy—is that so bad?" Jacob continued. "So different from what you want?" He was shouting right back at Bella.

Bella growled at him.

I was past enjoyment now. I was once again in awe of my wife. She was clearly fuming, furious with Jacob, but she hadn't gone for his throat even once.

"Amazing, isn't she?" I murmured.

"She hasn't gone for his throat even once," Carlisle agreed, just as stunned as I was.

"Fine, you win this one," Emmett conceded to Alice.

"You're going to stay away from her," Bella hissed at Jacob.

"I can't do that!"

"_Try_," she said through her teeth. "Starting _now_."

"It's not possible," he insisted. "Do you remember how much you wanted me around three days ago? How hard it was to be apart from each other? That's gone for you now, isn't it?"

Bella just glared at him.

"That was her," he continued. "From the very beginning. We had to be together, even then."

"Run away while you still can," Bella threatened.

"C'mon, Bella! Nessie likes me, too."

Bella froze then, holding her breath. None of us moved as we anticipated her reaction.

"_What…_did you call her?"

Jacob took a step farther back, looking sheepish. "Well, that name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and—"

"You nicknamed my daughter after the _Loch Ness Monster_?" she screeched.

And then she lunged for his throat.


	24. 21 Speculations

21. Speculations

"I'm so sorry, Seth," I apologized again. "I should have been closer."

Bella looked embarrassed and annoyed at the same time. She didn't like that I was apologizing, being that _I_ wasn't the one who had lost control of my temper, almost killed my best friend, and then broken Seth's collarbone when he jumped in between. But no one was upset with her. We weren't even really surprised. Jacob being so territorial about our daughter was more than enough cause for her to lose her temper. Really, I wished I had the excuse of being a newborn so I could do something physical about my irritation with Jacob, too.

"Seth, I—," Bella tried to apologize again.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. I'm totally fine," he assured her.

At the same time, I said, "Bella, love, no one is judging you. You're doing so well."

Carlisle secured another piece of the brace to Seth's arm, and he winced.

"Sorry, sorry!" she mumbled before we could stop her.

"Don't freak, Bella," Seth said, patting her knee with his good hand while I rubbed her arm from the other side.

Seth was perfectly comfortable having Bella sit beside him on the sofa as Carlisle treated him. He wasn't repelled by us at all. "I'll be back to normal in half an hour," he continued, still patting her knee. "Anyone would have done the same, what with Jake and Ness—" He broke off, realizing this wasn't the wisest thing to be talking about. "I mean, at least you didn't bite me or anything. That would've sucked."

Bella buried her face in her hands and shuddered. We'd only just now told her that the wolves didn't react to our venom the same way humans did. It was poison to them. If she had bitten Seth or Jacob, she would have killed them.

"I'm a bad person," she groaned.

"Of course you aren't. I should have—," I started to say.

"Stop that," Bella sighed.

"Lucky thing Ness—Renesmee's not venomous," Seth said after a second of awkward silence. "'Cause she bites Jake all the time."

Bella's hands dropped from her face. "She does?"

"Sure. Whenever he and Rose don't get dinner in her mouth fast enough. Rose thinks it's pretty hilarious."

Bella stared at him in shock, but also looking a little pleased.

"Well, Seth," Carlisle said, straightening up and stepping away from us. "I think that's as much as I can do. Try to not move for, oh, a few hours, I guess." He chuckled. "I wish treating humans were this instantaneously gratifying." He rested his hand on Seth's head for a moment. "Stay still," he ordered, and then disappeared upstairs to do more research.

We were still trying to find out anything about half-vampires, trying to figure out what would happen to Renesmee. She was growing so fast. If this rate of growth held, Renesmee would be an old woman by the time she was fifteen years old. And we didn't know what else to think. History gave us little to work with, and we were finding next to nothing.

"I can probably manage sitting still for a while," Seth said, distracting me from my train of thought, and then yawned hugely. Carefully, making sure not to tweak his shoulder, Seth leaned his head against the back of the sofa and shut his eyes. Seconds later, he was asleep.

Bella frowned at his peaceful face for a minute, and then she got up and walked to the back windows. I followed her and took her hand.

Leah was pacing along the river, stopping every now and then to look at the house. Even if I hadn't been able to read her thoughts, I would have known when she was looking for Bella and when she was looking for Seth. She alternated between anxious glances and murderous glares.

Jacob and Rosalie were outside on the front steps, bickering as usual over whose turn it was to feed Renesmee. Their relationship hadn't changed one bit; the only thing they agreed on was that Renesmee needed to be kept away from Bella until she was completely under control. I had disputed their verdict—I knew that Bella was no danger to Renesmee, but Bella had let it go.

Other than their squabbling, Seth's slow breathing, and Leah's annoyed panting, it was very quiet in the house. Emmett, Alice, and Esme were hunting. Jasper had stayed behind to watch Bella—he still didn't understand how Bella was controlling herself so well. Neither did I, for that matter. But now he stood unobtrusively behind the newel post, trying not to be obnoxious about it.

I used this opportunity to think of how we were going to deal with the issues that now presented themselves before us.

Much as I wanted to be annoyed with Jacob right now, I knew I owed him a lot. Since he'd imprinted on Renesmee, the pack couldn't kill her. One worry down. The treaty was renewed, and Sam couldn't say that it had ever been broken, really, because Jacob, speaking as the rightful Alpha, had agreed to Bella's transformation. Another big worry down.

But there was still something else we had to worry about, though not as physically dangerous as an angry wolf pack.

Charlie. And Renee, for that matter.

Charlie had spoken to Esme earlier this morning, but that hadn't kept him from calling again, twice, just a few minutes ago while Carlisle was treating Seth. We'd just let the phone ring.

But I knew we couldn't keep this issue on the back burner anymore. He couldn't speak to Bella, because Bella's voice would sound different to him. And he clearly couldn't see her, because she would look different, too. But Charlie wasn't an imbecile, and he wouldn't let us just keep blowing him off for much longer.

What would be the right thing to tell him? Would telling him that Bella had died be the best, kindest way? We could always say it would be a closed-casket funeral. Would I be able to act the part if we did that, act like I was grieving when I was really rejoicing?

It didn't seem right to me, even if I could somehow recall the emotions I'd had when I'd thought she was dead before and play my part. It wasn't right to let them think she'd died, when she was alive (well, undead, but still alive), well, and happy. But putting Bella's parents in danger of the Volturi's obsession with secrecy wasn't the right thing either.

At this point, I recalled Bella's idea—let Charlie see her, when she was ready for that, let him make his own assumptions, and hope he got it wrong. Technically, even if he guessed right, like Bella had eventually, the vampire rules would remain unbroken.

Suddenly, this didn't seem like such a horrible idea to me. Charlie and Renee would be happier knowing that Bella was alive and happy, and I knew Bella would be happier if she could have her father in her life.

Jasper sensed that Bella was getting tenser by the second.

"What's the matter, Bella?" he asked quietly. "No one is angry with you"—a low snarl from the riverside contradicted him, but he ignored it—"or even surprised, really. Well, I suppose we _are_ surprised. Surprised that you were able to snap out of it so quickly. You did well. Better than anyone expects of you." He used his gift to calm her down.

"I was thinking about Charlie, actually," Bella told him.

So she had been thinking about Charlie as well. I supposed I wasn't surprised.

The bickering out front cut off, because Rosalie and Jacob were both anxious to hear how we were going to deal with this situation.

"Ah," Jasper murmured.

"We really have to leave, don't we?" she asked. "For a while, at the very least. Pretend we're in Atlanta or something."

I looked at her as she spoke, but she was looking at my brother. He was the one who answered her. Because, right now, I didn't have any answers.

"Yes," he said. "It's the only way to protect your father."

Bella considered that for a moment. "I'm going to miss him so much. I'll miss everyone here."

She returned to her thoughts, but now, instead of returning to mine, I watched her face. It was still lined with worry.

A few seconds later, I was surprised to hear Bella snort. I raised one eyebrow questioningly, but she just shook her head at me.

It was still as frustrating as ever, not knowing what was going on inside Bella's head. And now I would never be able to hear her talk in her sleep again, never be able to hear those unguarded thoughts.

I returned to my thoughts, and now there was a new idea. Leave for a while, let Charlie think we'd gone to a hospital on the other side of the world or something (Atlanta was a bad idea, because it was close enough to Jacksonville that Renee might try to visit), and then come back and let Charlie see Bella. We could tell him she'd needed plastic surgery or something…

But then there was something I hadn't considered. Jacob. He'd imprinted on Renesmee. I knew from seeing the imprinting compulsion in the pack's thoughts how it worked, and I realized that it would kill Jacob to be away from Renesmee for any substantial length of time. There was enough petty ire left in my system to make me glad about that. Not for Jacob's pain—he'd suffered enough pain for many lifetimes—but for the idea of having Renesmee away from him. But it would be just downright cruel to take Renesmee away from him after everything he'd sacrificed and done for us, and after all the pain that Bella and I had caused him, pain that could never really be erased.

Rosalie and Jacob came inside with Renesmee. At exactly the same time, Carlisle came downstairs carrying a measuring tape and a scale. Jasper darted quickly to Bella's side, ready to help if she snapped again in response to what was about to happen.

"Must be six," I muttered.

"So?" Bella asked, looking at Rosalie, Jacob, and Renesmee. They stood in the doorway, Renesmee in Rosalie's arms. Rosalie looked wary, Jacob looked worried, and Renesmee looked impatient.

"Time to measure Ness—er, Renesmee," Carlisle explained.

"Oh. You do this every day?"

"Four times a day," Carlisle corrected absently as he motioned the others toward the couch. Renesmee sighed, not looking forward to another measuring.

"Four times? Every day? _Why?_" Bella asked.

"She's still growing quickly," I said in a strained voice, not wanting to let all of my concern show. I squeezed her hand and wrapped my other arm around her waist, needing the support a little.

Even just in the past hour, Renesmee had changed again. It was subtle, and human eyes would not have noticed it, but it was there.

Her body was slightly longer. Just a bit slimmer. Her face wasn't as round; it was more oval by one minute degree. Her ringlets hung a sixteenth of an inch longer down her shoulders. She stretched out for Carlisle while he ran the tape measure down her side and then wrapped it around her head. Her growth had slowed a bit, but not much.

Jacob's arms were crossed as tightly over his chest as my arms were locked around Bella. His brows were mashed together in a line of concern.

"What do we do?" Bella whispered, horrified.

I tightened my arms around her, needing the support even more now that Bella realized the difficulties. "I don't know."

"It's slowing," Jacob muttered through his teeth.

"We'll need several more days of measurements to track the trend, Jacob," Carlisle told him. "I can't make any promises."

"Yesterday she grew two inches. Today it's less."

"By a thirty-second of an inch, if my measurements are perfect," Carlisle said quietly.

"_Be_ perfect, Doc," Jacob said, making the words sound almost threatening. Rosalie stiffened.

"You know I'll do my best."

He sighed. "Guess that's all I can ask."

I was irritated with Jacob again. It was like Jacob was stealing Bella and I's lines—stealing them and delivering them all wrong.

Renesmee was irritated, too. She was bored and wanted to go to her mother again. She started to squirm and then reached her hand toward Rosalie. Rosalie leaned forward so she could touch her face. After a second, Rosalie sighed.

"What does she want?" Jacob demanded, taking our lines again.

"Bella, of course," Rosalie told him. She looked at Bella. "How are you?"

"Worried," she said. I squeezed her.

"We all are. But that's not what I meant."

"I'm in control," she assured us.

Jacob bit his lip, but made no move to stop Rosalie as she offered Renesmee to Bella. Jasper and I hovered over Bella, but allowed it.

Renesmee reached for Bella at the same time Bella reached for her, smiling hugely. As soon as Bella had her in her arms, she put her hand against Bella's cheek.

She was remembering Bella charging Jacob across the front lawn, remembering Seth leaping between them. She'd seen and heard it all with perfect clarity. Jacob stood there defenselessly, hands raised, refusing to phase to protect himself.

I chuckled, watching Renesmee's thoughts with Bella, and then we both winced as we heard the cracking of Seth's bones.

Renesmee smiled at Bella again, and her memory eyes did not leave Jacob through all the following mess. There was a new flavor to this memory—not protective, but possessive—as she watched Jacob. She was _glad_ that Seth had put himself between them. She didn't want Jacob hurt. He was _hers._

"Oh, wonderful," Bella groaned. "Perfect."

I had to agree. It was quite irritating that Renesmee seemed to love Jacob every bit as much as he loved her.

"It's just because he tastes better than the rest of us," I assured her, my voice stiff with my annoyance.

"I told you she likes me, too," Jacob teased from across the room, his eyes on Renesmee. His joking was halfhearted; he was still a little scared of Bella snapping and charging him again.

Renesmee patted Bella's face impatiently, demanding her attention. She wanted to tell Bella about her day. Another memory: Rosalie pulling a brush gently through her curls. It felt nice to her.

Carlisle and his tape measure, knowing she had to stretch out and be still. It was not interesting.

"It looks like she's going to give you a rundown of everything you missed," I told Bella.

Bella's nose wrinkled as Renesmee remembered being thirsty. The smell of human blood coming through a metal cup, hard enough not to be bitten through easily.

I whisked Renesmee out of Bella's arms, and Jasper then pulled Bella's arms behind her back, sensing the change in Bella's mood. Bella didn't struggle with Jasper, she just looked at me.

"What did I do?" she demanded.

It wasn't natural. _How_ was Bella so controlled? Renesmee had remembered the taste of human blood and Bella was still clearly thinking rationally.

"But she was remembering being thirsty," I muttered, my forehead wrinkling in confusion. "She was remembering the taste of human blood."

Jasper pulled Bella's arms tighter together.

"Yes," Bella agreed. "And?"

I frowned at her for a second more, still not understanding. Then I laughed once. "And nothing at all, it seems. The overreaction is mine this time. Jazz, let her go."

Jasper released Bella, and she reached for our daughter as soon as she was free. I handed Renesmee over without hesitation.

"I can't understand," Jasper said. "I can't bear this."

Jasper had been confused and upset since Bella had first woken up to her new life and been able to control her emotions so well. He'd been even more upset when I'd told them all that Bella hadn't hunted the humans on our trip. And now, Bella had been thinking perfectly rationally while Renesmee was telling her about being thirsty, remembering the taste of human blood.

And now Jasper was wondering if the newborn madness was really as difficult as we'd always thought or if, with the right focus and attitude, anyone could do as well as Bella. Could he stop suffering so much around humans if he just focused enough? He needed some time alone. He strode out the back door. Leah gave him a wide margin of space as he paced to the river and then launched himself over it in one bound.

Renesmee touched Bella's neck, repeating the past few seconds in her mind. There was a question in her thoughts. She wanted to know what was wrong with her uncle.

I could see from the expression on my wife's face that she was wondering the same thing.

"He'll be back," I assured them. "He just needs a moment alone to readjust his perspective on life." There was a grin threatening to break free now. I was so amazed at, awed by, and proud of Bella for being such a natural at her vegetarian vampire life.

"Is he mad at me?" Bella asked.

My eyes widened. "No. Why would he be?"

"What's the matter with him, then?"

"He's upset with himself, not you, Bella. He's worrying about…self-fulfilling prophecy, I suppose you could say."

"How so?" Carlisle asked.

"He's wondering if the newborn madness is really as difficult as we've always thought," I told him, "or if, with the right focus and attitude, anyone could do as well as Bella. Even now—perhaps he only has such difficulty because he believes it's natural and unavoidable. Maybe if he expected more of himself, he would rise to those expectations. You're making him question a lot of deep-rooted assumptions, Bella."

"But that's unfair," Carlisle said. "Everyone is different, everyone has their own challenges. Perhaps what Bella is doing goes beyond the natural. Maybe this is her gift, so to speak."

Bella froze, and Renesmee was confused by it.

"That's an interesting theory, and quite plausible," I said, now speculating this.

I'd thought that Bella's gift was her unusual immunity to certain vampires' gifts. But perhaps that was just something unique about her, and not really a gift. Perhaps her real gift was this unbelievable control that she'd been exerting.

"Have you ever seen an equivalent to self-control as a talent?" I asked Carlisle, intrigued by this new theory. "Do you really think that's a gift, or just a product of all her preparation?"

Carlisle shrugged. "It's slightly similar to what Siobhan has always been able to do, though she wouldn't call it a gift."

"Siobhan, your friend in that Irish coven?" Rosalie asked. "I wasn't aware that she did anything special. I thought it was Maggie who was talented in that bunch."

"Yes, Siobhan thinks the same," Carlisle said. "But she has this way of deciding her goals and then almost…_willing_ them into reality. She considers it good planning, but I've always wondered if it was something more. When she included Maggie, for instance. Liam was very territorial, but Siobhan wanted it to work out, and so it did."

Carlisle, Rosalie, and I settled into chairs as we continued our discussion. I realized what it could mean if Bella's gift was no more than supernatural self-control. Maybe she could be a good vampire right away. Maybe she would never kill a single person. Maybe…maybe she could see Charlie sooner than we'd thought. We wouldn't have to leave Forks, and she would be much happier if she could have Charlie in her life.

Bella held Renesmee naturally, somehow knowing exactly what to do. It was like she was born to be Renesmee's mother.

Alice, Esme, and Emmett were back from their hunting trip now, but they were at the cottage Esme had renovated for Bella and I, taking care of a few last-minute details before Bella and I arrived. Jasper was with them, helping them, feeling a little bit better about things now.

I continued the conversation with Carlisle and Rosalie about supernatural abilities, but I was more focused on listening to my daughter's thoughts. They were much more interesting.

Renesmee told Bella about every minute happening of the day. She wanted her mother to know her, everything about her. It worried her that Bella had missed things while she was transforming into a vampire (it shocked me that Renesmee understood this, but then, Renesmee was so intelligent, I guessed I shouldn't really be shocked). Like the sparrows that had hopped closer and closer when Jacob had held her, both of them very still beside one of the big hemlocks; the birds wouldn't come close to Rosalie. The outrageously icky white stuff—baby formula—that Carlisle had put in her cup; it smelled like sour dirt. Me crooning her mother's lullaby to her while we were upstairs. She loved that memory so much that she played it for Bella twice.

After almost an hour, Renesmee's memory stories began to slow. They got slightly blurry around the edges and drifted out of focus before they came to their conclusions. I was worried for a bit—was something wrong with her?—but then I looked and saw her eyelids flutter and close. She yawned, and her eyes never reopened.

Bella and I both watched Renesmee's dreams, completely mesmerized. I no longer even pretended to carry on the conversation with my father and sister. I was too engrossed.

There was no sense to my daughter's dreams, just colors and shapes and faces. Bella's face popped up in Renesmee's unconscious thoughts quite a bit. More than my face or Rosalie's. Bella was neck and neck with Jacob; I tried not to let that irritate me, tried to remember how much Jacob had sacrificed for us.

And then I heard Alice, Emmett, and Esme coming back toward the house. They were done at the cottage, and Bella and I could finally go in. My family had promised me that they would look after Renesmee tonight, so I could be alone with my wife on her first night as an immortal. I was giddy as a schoolboy with excitement.

"Finally," I said anxiously, turning to gaze out the window.

Leah, still glowering, got up and slunk into the brush just as Alice came into view on the other side of the river. Alice swung back and forth from a branch like a trapeze artist, toes touching hands, before throwing herself into a graceful flat spin over the river. Esme made a more traditional leap, while Emmett charged through the water, splashing water so far that splatters hit the back windows. Jasper followed after, leaping subtly across the water.

Alice grinned deviously at Bella, and then looked at me. _Hope you guys like it._

Suddenly everyone was smiling at Bella, all with different expressions—Esme sweet, Emmett excited, Rosalie superior (Bella might not realize that Rosalie was still treating her horribly, but I certainly did, and I really wished I could do something physical about my irritation with my sister), and Carlisle indulgent. I wasn't sure what my smile looked like from the outside, but I did know that I didn't really want to deal with Alice's theatrics before getting into the cottage with Bella.

Alice skipped into the room ahead of everyone else, her hand stretched out in front of her and impatience making a nearly visible aura around her. In her palm was the key to the cottage, with an oversized pink satin bow tied around it. She held the key out for Bella; Bella readjusted her hold on Renesmee so that she could hold her with her right arm and freed her left hand. Alice dropped the key into it.

"Happy birthday!" she squealed.

Bella rolled her eyes. "No one starts counting on the actual day of birth. Your first birthday is at the year mark, Alice."

Alice's grin turned smug. "We're not celebrating your vampire birthday. Yet. It's September thirteenth, Bella. Happy nineteenth birthday!"


	25. 22 First Night

22. First Night

"No. No way!" Bella protested. She shook her head fiercely and then threw an exasperated glance in my direction. "No, this doesn't count. I stopped aging three days ago. I am eighteen forever."

"Whatever," Alice said, dismissing Bella's protest with a quick shrug. "We're celebrating anyway, so suck it up."

Bella sighed in resignation.

Alice's grin got wider as she read the acquiescence in Bella's eyes. "Are you ready to open your present?"

"Present_s_," I corrected, pulling the key to Bella's "after car" out of my pocket.

"Mine first," Alice said, and then stuck her tongue out, foreseeing my answer.

I ignored her. "Mine is closer."

"But look at how she's _dressed_," Alice protested. "It's been killing me all day. That is clearly the priority." _Not that it's going to be that important in about fifteen minutes…_

Bella's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I know—I'll play you for it," Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors."

Jasper chuckled.

I sighed. I'd had enough of Alice's theatrics. I just wanted to get to the cottage and be alone with Bella. "Why don't you just tell me who wins?" I asked, trying to make my tone amused rather than irritated.

Alice grinned. "I do. Excellent."

"It's probably better that I wait for morning, anyway," I said, flashing Bella's favorite crooked smile and then nodding toward Jacob and Seth, who were crashed for the night. "I think it might be more fun if Jacob was awake for the big reveal, don't you agree? So that someone there is able to express the right level of enthusiasm?"

Bella grinned at me.

"Yay," Alice sang. "Bella, give Ness—Renesmee to Rosalie."

"Where does she usually sleep?" Bella asked.

Alice shrugged. "In Rose's arms. Or Jacob's. Or Esme's. You get the picture. She has never been set down in her entire life. She's going to be the most spoiled half-vampire in existence."

I laughed while Rosalie took Renesmee from Bella.

"She is also the most _un_spoiled half-vampire in existence," Rosalie said. "The beauty of being one-of-a-kind." She grinned at Bella.

Alice shoved the key in Bella's hand, then grabbed her elbow and pulled her toward the back door. "Let's go, let's go," she trilled anxiously.

"Is it outside?" Bella asked.

"Sort of," Alice said, pushing her forward.

"Enjoy your gift," Rosalie said. "It's from all of us. Esme especially."

"Aren't you coming, too?" Bella asked when no one moved.

"We'll give you a chance to appreciate it alone," Rosalie said, trying to keep from snickering. "You can tell us about it…later."

Emmett was unable to hide his amusement. He guffawed.

Suddenly, Bella smiled hugely, and Alice tugged on her elbow again. I followed them into the purple night.

"There's the enthusiasm I'm looking for," Alice murmured approvingly. Then she dropped Bella's arm so she could leap over the river.

Bella and I jumped at the same time.

Alice took off with us on her heels. When we got close to the cottage, Alice whirled around and dashed back to Bella.

"Don't attack me," she warned, and sprang on Bella's back and wrapped her hands around Bella's face.

"What are you doing?" Bella protested.

"Making sure you can't see."

"I could take care of that without the theatrics," I offered, trying as hard as I could not to let my irritation with my favorite sister show.

"You might let her cheat," Alice said. "Take her hand and lead her forward."

"Alice, I—," Bella started to say.

"Don't bother, Bella. We're doing this my way."

I wound my fingers through Bella's. "Just a few seconds more, Bella. Then she'll go annoy someone else." I pulled Bella forward, and she kept up easily.

"You might be a little more appreciative," Alice chided me. "This is as much for you as it is for her."

"True," I agreed. "Thank you again, Alice."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Stop there. Turn her just a little to the right. Yes, like that. Okay. Are you ready?" she squeaked.

"I'm ready," Bella said.

Alice hopped down from Bella's back, releasing her grip on Bella's eyes.

Bella and I both stared into the violet dark. Of course, I'd seen the cottage in my family's minds, but this was the first time I'd actually been here.

The stone cottage was nestled into a small clearing in the forest, lavender gray in the light of the stars. It belonged here so absolutely that it seemed as if it must have grown from the rock, a natural formation. Honeysuckle climbed up one wall like a lattice, winding all the way up and over the thick wooden shingles. Late summer roses bloomed in a handkerchief-sized garden under the dark, deep-set windows. There was a little path of flat stones, amethyst in the night, that led up to the quaint arched wooden door.

"What do you think?" Alice asked Bella in a softer tone.

Bella opened her mouth, but appeared speechless.

"Esme thought we might like a place of our own for a while, but she didn't want us too far away," I murmured. "And she loves any excuse to renovate. This little place has been crumbling away out here for at least a hundred years."

Bella continued staring, jaw dropped.

"Don't you like it?" Alice asked, her face falling. "I mean, I'm sure we could fix it up differently, if you want. Emmett was all for adding a few thousand square feet, a second story, columns, and a tower, but Esme thought you would like it best the way it was meant to look. If she was wrong, we can get back to work. It won't take long to—"

"Shh!" Bella interrupted.

Alice pressed her lips together, waiting for Bella's verdict.

"You're giving me a house for my birthday?" Bella asked after a few seconds.

"Us," I corrected. "And it's no more than a cottage. I think the word _house_ implies more legroom."

"No knocking my house," Bella whispered.

Alice beamed. "You like it."

Bella shook her head.

"Love it?" Alice asked.

Bella nodded.

"I can't wait to tell Esme!"

"Why didn't she come?" Bella asked.

Alice's smile faded a little, twisting into a more embarrassed and nervous expression. She wasn't sure how to answer that. "Oh, you know…they all remember how you are about presents. They didn't want to put you under too much pressure to like it."

"But of course I love it. How could I not?"

"They'll like that." Alice patted Bella's arm. "Anyhoo, your closet is stocked. Use it wisely. And…I guess that's everything."

"Aren't you going to come inside?"

Alice strolled casually a few feet back. "Edward knows his way around. I'll stop by…later. Call me if you can't match your clothes right." She threw Bella a doubtful look and then smiled. "Jazz wants to hunt. See you." _Have fun,_ she thought wryly.

She shot off into the trees like a bullet.

"That was weird," Bella said after a few seconds. "Am I really _that_ bad? They didn't have to stay away. Now I feel guilty. I didn't even thank her right. We should go back, tell Esme—"

I understood where Bella was coming from, but I'd been waiting for this moment for three days. There was no way I was going to spend another ten minutes going back to thank Esme.

"Bella, don't be silly," I interrupted. "No one thinks you're that unreasonable."

"Then what—"

"Alone time is their other gift. Alice was trying to be subtle about it."

"Oh," she said simply.

"Let me show you what they've done," I said, pulling her toward the cottage.

A small part of me wished that I could hear Bella's heart racing in anticipation and see her blush one more time. But then I realized that the fact that she was a vampire meant that I wasn't capable of hurting her anymore. And I didn't have to hold back anymore.

But before we got to that, I would let her fully appreciate her present.

Suddenly and without warning, Bella laughed once.

"Do I get to hear the joke?" I asked as I led the way to the door.

"It's not a very good one. I was just thinking—today is the first and last day of forever. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around it. Even with all this extra room for wrapping." She laughed again.

I chuckled with her as I held my hand out to the doorknob, waiting for her to do the honors. Bella stuck the key in the lock and turned it.

"You're such a natural at this, Bella; I forget how very strange this all must be for you. I wish I could _hear_ it." I quickly ducked down and picked her up to carry her over the threshold.

"Hey!" she protested.

"Thresholds are part of my job description," I reminded her. "But I'm curious. Tell me what you're thinking about right now."

I opened the door and stepped through into the little stone living room.

"Everything," she told me. "All at the same time, you know. Good things and things to worry about and things that are new. How I keep using too many superlatives in my head. Right now, I'm thinking that Esme is an artist. It's so perfect!"

Seeing this cottage in my family's thoughts didn't do it justice. It was like something out of a fairy tale. The floor was a quilt of smooth, flat stones. The low ceiling had long, exposed beams that someone just a little taller than me would probably knock their head on. The walls were warm wood in some places, stone mosaics in others. The beehive fireplace in the corner held the remains of a fire Esme had started for us—the low flames were blue and green from the salt.

It was furnished in eclectic pieces, not one of them matching another, but harmonious just the same. One chair seemed vaguely medieval, while a low ottoman by the fire was more contemporary and the stocked bookshelf against the far window looked like something out of Renaissance Italy. Somehow each piece fit together with the others like a big three-dimensional puzzle. A few of Bella's favorite paintings from the house were hanging on the walls.

"We're lucky Esme thought to add an extra room," I said, walking through the cottage with Bella still in my arms. "No one was planning for Ness—Renesmee."

She frowned at me. "Not you, too."

"Sorry, love. I hear it in their thoughts all the time, you know. It's rubbing off on me."

Bella sighed in resignation.

"I'm sure you're dying to see the closet," I teased. "Or, at least I'll _tell_ Alice that you were, to make her feel good."

"Should I be afraid?"

"Terrified."

I carried her down the narrow stone hallway with tiny arches in the ceiling. It was like our own miniature castle.

"That will be Renesmee's room," I said, nodding to an empty room with a pale wooden floor. "They didn't have time to do much with it, what with the angry werewolves…"

Bella laughed quietly.

And then, finally, I got to our bedroom.

"Here's our room. Esme tried to bring some of her island back here for us. She guessed that we would get attached."

The bed was an exact replica of the bed in the white room on the island, white with clouds of gossamer floating down from the canopy to the floor. The pale wood floor was exactly the color of the sand on the beach, and the walls were the almost-white-blue of a brilliant sunny day. The back wall had big glass doors that opened up into a little garden. Climbing roses and a small round pond, smooth as a mirror and edged with shiny stones. A tiny, calm ocean for us.

"Oh," was all she said.

"I know," I whispered.

We stood there for a minute, remembering. For the first time since Bella had figured out she was pregnant, I let myself remember our time on the island as a happy time, as the best time of my life. So far.

I smiled widely at my wife and then laughed. "The closet is through those double doors," I said, gesturing toward it with my chin. "I should warn you—it's bigger than this room."

Bella didn't even glance at the doors. "We're going to tell Alice that I ran right to the clothes," she whispered, twisting her fingers into my hair and pulling her face closer to mine. "We're going to tell her that I spent hours in there playing dress-up. We're going to _lie._"

Finally! I pulled my wife's face to mine fiercely, a low moan escaping my throat.

I heard the fabric tearing under our hands, and was glad that Bella's clothes, at least, were already destroyed. It was too late for mine. It felt almost rude to ignore the bed, but we just weren't going to make it that far.

This second honeymoon wasn't like our first.

There was no caution or restraint now, on my part or Bella's, as our bodies tangled gracefully into one on the sand-pale floor. And, for the first time, I wasn't afraid. Our physical relationship was better than before, because we could love _together_ now, both active participants. I didn't have to restrain myself, to fear hurting her. Because she was stronger than I was now.

She hurt me a little, but I didn't complain. I didn't mind. Because, every time she squeezed me too tight or touched me too roughly, it was a reminder that my days of fear and restraint were over. I could never hurt my Bella again.

A small part of my mind pondered the interesting conundrum presented in this situation. Bella now had no more mundane human needs. She didn't need to sleep or eat or use the bathroom or even breathe. She had the most perfect body in the world, she was immortal now, she was _mine_, and there was never going to come a point at which either of us would think, _Now I've had enough for one day._ So, in this situation, how did we _stop_?

It didn't bother me at all that I had no answer to my quandary.

We sort of noticed when the sky began to lighten. The tiny ocean outside turned from black to gray, and a lark started to sing somewhere close by. It truly was like a fairy tale.

"Do you miss it?" she asked suddenly.

It wasn't the first time we'd spoken, but we weren't exactly keeping up a conversation, either.

"Miss what?" I murmured.

"All of it—the warmth, the soft skin, the tasty smell…I'm not losing anything at all, and I just wondered if it was a little bit sad for you that you were."

She thought I _missed_ her being human? She didn't fully realize how much better it was for me now that I didn't have to concentrate all the time on not killing her.

I laughed gently. "It would be hard to find someone _less_ sad than I am now. Impossible, I'd venture. Not many people get every single thing they want, plus all the things they didn't think to ask for, in the same day."

"Are you avoiding the question?"

I pressed my hand against her face. "You _are_ warm."

She wasn't warm like before, not actually hot to me. But it was more comfortable now. More natural.

I pulled my fingers slowly down her face, lightly tracing from her jaw to her throat and then all the way down to her waist. I smiled when I saw her eyes roll back in her head a little.

"You _are_ soft," I told her.

Again, she wasn't soft in the same sense, but her skin felt like satin underneath my fingertips.

"And as for the scent, well, I couldn't say I _missed_ that," I continued. "Do you remember the scent of those hikers on our hunt?"

"I've been trying very hard not to."

"Imagine kissing that." Only a thousand times worse.

"_Oh._"

"Precisely. So the answer is no. I am purely full of joy, because I am missing _nothing_. No one has more than I do now."

And then I kissed her passionately, and that was the end of that conversation.

When the little pool turned pearl-colored with the sunrise, she spoke again.

"How long does this go on? I mean, Carlisle and Esme, Em and Rose, Alice and Jasper—they don't spend all day locked in their rooms. They're out in public, fully clothed, all the time. Does this…_craving_ ever let up?" She twisted herself closer into me—quite an accomplishment, actually—and I tightened my arms around her.

"That's difficult to say," I told her. "Everyone is different, and, well, so far you're the very most different of all. The average young vampire is too obsessed with thirst to notice much else for a while. That doesn't seem to apply to you." I was immensely grateful for that. "With the average young vampire, though, after that first year, other needs make themselves known. Neither thirst nor any other desire really ever _fades_. It's simply a matter of learning to balance them, learning to prioritize and manage…"

"How long?" she insisted.

I smiled and wrinkled my nose a little. "Rosalie and Emmett were the worst. It took a solid decade before I could stand to be within a five-mile radius of them. Even Carlisle and Esme had a difficult time stomaching it. They kicked the happy couple out eventually. Esme built them a house, too. It was grander than this one, but then, Esme knows what Rose likes, and she knows what you like."

"So, after ten years, then?" she asked. "Everybody is normal again? Like they are now?"

I was pretty sure it would take longer than that; I knew Emmett and Rosalie had nothing on us. But it would probably sound cocky if I went higher than a decade, so I decided to skirt around the answer.

I smiled again. "Well, I'm not sure what you mean by normal. You've seen my family going about life in a fairly human way, but you've been sleeping nights." I winked at her. "There's a tremendous amount of time left over when you don't have to sleep. It makes balancing your…interests quite easy. There's a reason why I'm the best musician in the family, why—besides Carlisle—I've read the most books, studied the most sciences, become fluent in the most languages…Emmett would have you believe that I'm such a know-it-all because of the mind reading, but the truth is that I've just had a _lot_ of free time."

We laughed together, and the motion of our laughter did interesting things to the way our bodies were connected, effectively ending the conversation.


	26. 23 Solution

23. Solution

It was only a little while later that I remembered our priorities.

"Renesmee…" I said.

Bella sighed, and then I felt her body freeze up with stress. I could guess the cause. She was worrying, like I was, about how much our daughter had grown since the last time we'd seen her.

"It's all right, love," I assured her. "Get dressed, and we'll be back to the house in two seconds."

She looked a bit like a cartoon as she sprang up, then looked back at me, then away to the west, where Renesmee waited, then back at me, then back toward our daughter, her head whipping back and forth half a dozen times in a second. I smiled, but didn't laugh.

"It's all about balance, love," I told her. "You're so good at all of this, I don't imagine it will take too long to put everything in perspective."

"And we have all night, right?"

The smile turned into a grin. "Do you think I could bear to let you get dressed now if that weren't the case?"

I saw stress return to Bella's face as she darted to the closet door. She didn't even pause as she yanked the door open.

As I'd promised her, the closet was bigger than our bedroom. It might have even been bigger than the rest of the house put together, but I would have had to pace it off to be sure. And it was stocked with clothes for Bella, all of them wrapped in garment bags, row after row after row. I had only one rack on the half-wall next to one of the doors.

"Which ones are mine?" she hissed.

I hopped up and went to stand beside her. "To the best of my knowledge, everything but this rack here"—I touched my rack of clothes—"is yours."

"All of this?"

I shrugged.

"Alice," we said together. I said her name like an explanation; Bella said it like an expletive.

"Fine," Bella muttered, and pulled down the zipper on the closest bag. She growled under her breath when she saw the floor-length baby pink silk gown inside.

"Let me help," I offered. I sniffed carefully, searching for the scent of denim. I followed my nose to the back of the room, to a built-in dresser. I sniffed again, smelled the denim, and then opened a drawer. Grinning triumphantly, I held out a pair of artfully faded blue jeans.

Bella flitted to my side. "How did you do that?"

"Denim has its own scent just like anything else," I explained. "Now…stretch cotton?"

Again, I followed my nose to a half-rack and found a long-sleeved white t-shirt for Bella. I tossed it to her.

"Thanks," she said fervently. She got dressed, then inhaled each fabric in the closet, memorizing the scents for future searches through this madhouse.

It only took me seconds to find a pair of khakis and a pale beige pullover. I threw them on and then took Bella's hand. We darted through the garden, hopped lightly over the stone wall, and then hit the forest at a dead sprint. Bella pulled her hand out of mine so we could race back. I beat her this time.

Renesmee was awake; she was sitting up on the floor with Rosalie and Emmett hovering over her, playing with a little pile of twisted silverware. Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme were all sitting on the couch, watching her as if she were the most engrossing film. She had a mangled spoon in her right hand. As soon as she saw us through the glass, she chucked the spoon on the floor—where it left a divot in the wood—and pointed impatiently in Bella's direction. She'd been waiting for Bella for half an hour. Her audience laughed.

Bella was through the door before their laughter had barely begun, bounding across the room and scooping our daughter up off the floor in the same second. They smiled widely at each other.

Renesmee looked a little different, but not as much as I'd thought she would be. The growth was definitely slowing. She was a little longer again, her proportions drifting from babyish to childlike. Her hair was longer by a quarter inch, the curls bouncing like springs with every movement. I'd let my imagination run wild on the run back, and I was sure Bella had, too. Thanks to my horrific fears, these little changes were almost welcome. In his mind, Carlisle told me that my assessment was correct. His measurements had shown a significant decrease in how much she'd grown.

Renesmee patted Bella's cheek. She was thirsty. Bella winced.

I went to the kitchen to get her a cup of blood.

"How long has she been up?" Bella asked.

"Just a few minutes," Rosalie said. "We would have called you soon. She's been asking for you—_demanding _might be a better description. Esme sacrificed her second-best silver service to keep the little monster entertained. We didn't want to…er, bother you."

Rosalie tried not to laugh, and Emmett's silent laughter sent vibrations through the foundations of the house. Honestly, I wondered what everyone found so amusing about our sex life. It wasn't like they didn't have their own.

"We'll get your room set up right away," Bella said to Renesmee, ignoring their jibes. "You'll like the cottage. It's magic. Thank you, Esme. So much. It's absolutely perfect."

Before Esme could respond, Emmett was guffawing.

"So it's still standing?" he managed to ask through his snickers. "I would've thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt?"

I gritted my teeth, and heard Bella do the same.

"Where're the wolves today?" she asked, ignoring him again.

"Jacob took off this morning pretty early," Rosalie said. I saw in her memory that Jacob had been quite upset when he'd left. "Seth followed him out."

"What was he so upset about?" I asked as I came back into the room with Renesmee's breakfast.

Bella didn't breathe as she handed Renesmee to Rosalie. She couldn't handle feeding her quite yet.

"I don't know—or care," Rosalie grumbled. "He was watching Nessie sleep, his mouth hanging open like the moron he is, and then he just jumped to his feet without any kind of trigger—that I noticed, anyway—and stormed out. _I_ was glad to be rid of him. The more time he spends here, the less chance there is that we'll ever get the smell out."

"Rose," Esme chided her.

Rosalie flipped her hair. "I suppose it doesn't matter. We won't be here that much longer."

"I still say we should go straight to New Hampshire and get things set up," Emmett said, continuing an earlier conversation. "Bella's already registered at Dartmouth. Doesn't look like it will take her all that long to be able to handle school." He turned to look at Bella with a teasing grin. "I'm sure you'll ace your classes…apparently there's nothing interesting for you to do at night besides study."

Rosalie giggled.

It was at that point that Jacob got close enough for me to read his mind. And I heard that he'd been to see Charlie, and that Charlie was following him to the house today.

I growled, furious. _How_ could that dog have done that to Bella?

Alice jumped to her feet. "What is he _doing_? What is that _dog_ doing that has erased my schedule for the entire day? I can't see _anything_! No!" She shot Bella a tortured glance. "Look at you! You _need_ me to show you how to use your closet."

I balled my hands into fists and snarled. "He talked to Charlie. He thinks Charlie is following after him. Coming here. Today."

Alice cussed, and then blurred into motion, streaking out the back door in a blur.

"He told Charlie?" Bella gasped. "But—doesn't he understand? How could he do that? No!"

I agreed with her. I was furious with Jacob right now, because Jacob wasn't letting me see exactly _what_ he'd told Charlie. And Charlie couldn't know about vampires. That would put him on a hit list that not even we could save him from.

Jacob was almost to the door.

"Jacob's on his way in now," I said through my teeth.

Jacob came in the door shaking his wet hair like the dog he was, flipping droplets on the carpet and the couch. His teeth glinted against his lips; his eyes were bright and excited. He walked jerkily, quite excited about destroying Charlie's life.

"Hey, guys," he said, grinning.

No one answered him; we were all too furious to speak.

Leah and Seth slipped in behind him, in their human forms—for now; both of their hands were trembling with the tension in the room.

"Rose," Bella said, holding her arms out to take Renesmee. Rosalie handed her over without a word; Bella held her close. Renesmee calmed Bella down a little.

Renesmee was very still. She understood that Jacob had done something to make us all angry, but she didn't know what yet.

"Charlie'll be here soon," Jacob told Bella casually. "Just a heads-up. I assume Alice is getting you sunglasses or something?"

"You assume _way_ too much," Bella spit through her teeth. "What. Have. You. _Done?_"

Jacob's smile wavered as he finally registered our fury, but he was still too excited about destroying Charlie's life to answer seriously. "Blondie and Emmett woke me up this morning, going on and on about you all moving cross-country. Like I could let you leave. Charlie was the biggest issue there, right? Well, problem solved."

"Do you even _realize_ what you've done?" Bella demanded. "The danger you've put him in?"

Jacob snorted. "I didn't put him in danger. Except from you. But you've got some kind of supernatural self-control, right? Not as good as mind reading, if you ask me. Much less exciting."

I darted across the room to get in Jacob's face. Even though I was half a head shorter than him, Jacob still cowered away as if I was towering over him.

"That's just a _theory_, mongrel," I snarled. "You think we should test it out on _Charlie_? Did you consider the physical pain you're putting Bella through, even if she can resist? Or the emotional pain if she doesn't? I suppose what happens to Bella no longer concerns you!" I spit the last word.

Renesmee patted Bella's cheek, a little frightened of my reaction.

My words finally cut through Jacob's mood. He frowned. "Bella will be in pain?"

"Like you've shoved a white-hot branding iron down her throat!" I snarled, trying to reign my anger in a little bit so as not to frighten my daughter again.

Bella flinched.

"I didn't know that," Jacob whispered.

"Then perhaps you should have asked first," I growled through my teeth.

"You would have stopped me."

"You _should_ have been stopped—"

"This isn't about me," Bella interrupted. "This is about Charlie, Jacob. How could you put him in danger this way? Do you realize it's death or vampire life for him now, too?" Her voice trembled with the tears she could no longer shed.

Jacob was still troubled by my accusations. He didn't want Bella to be in pain. But Bella's accusations didn't bother him. "Relax, Bella. I didn't tell him anything you weren't planning to tell him."

"But he's coming here!"

"Yeah, that's the idea. Wasn't the whole 'let him make the wrong assumptions' thing your plan? I think I provided a very nice red herring, if I do say so myself."

Bella's fingers flexed away from Renesmee, and she curled them back in. "Say it straight, Jacob. I don't have the patience for this."

"I didn't tell him anything about you, Bella. Not really. I told him about _me._ Well, _show_ is probably a better verb." I saw in Jacob's memory that he'd phased in front of Charlie. Charlie had taken it quite well.

"He phased in front of Charlie," I hissed.

"You _what?_" Bella whispered.

"He's brave," Jacob said. "Brave as you are. Didn't pass out or throw up or anything. I gotta say, I was impressed. You should've seen his face when I started taking my clothes off, though. Priceless." Jacob chortled at the memory.

"You absolute _moron!_" Bella screeched. "You could have given him a heart attack!"

"Charlie's fine. He's tough. If you'd give this just a minute, you'll see that I did you a favor here."

"You have half of that, Jacob," Bella said in an ice-cold, flat voice. "You have thirty seconds to tell me every single word before I give Renesmee to Rosalie and rip your miserable head off. Seth won't be able to stop me this time."

"Jeez, Bells. You didn't used to be so melodramatic. Is that a vampire thing?"

"Twenty-six seconds."

Jacob rolled his eyes and flopped into the nearest chair. Seth and Leah moved to stand on his flanks, not at all relaxed like he was; Leah's eyes were on Bella, her teeth slightly bared.

"So, I knocked on Charlie's door this morning and asked him to come for a walk with me," Jacob began. "He was confused, but when I told him it was about you and that you were back in town, he followed me out to the woods. I told him you weren't sick anymore, and that things were a little weird, but good. He was about to take off to see you, but I told him I had to show him something first. And then I phased." He shrugged.

"I want every word, you monster," Bella said through tightly clenched teeth.

"Well, you said I only had thirty seconds—okay, okay." Bella's expression had convinced him that she was not in the mood for teasing. "Lemme see…I phased back and got dressed, and then after he started breathing again, I said something like, 'Charlie, you don't live in the world you thought you lived in. The good news is, nothing has changed—except that now you know. Life'll go on the same way it always has. You can go right back to pretending you don't believe any of this.'

"It took him a minute to get his head together, and then he wanted to know what was really going on with you, with the whole rare-disease thing. I told him that you _had_ been sick, but you were fine now—it was just that you'd had to change a little bit in the process of getting better. He wanted to know what I meant by 'change,' and I told him that you looked a lot more like Esme now than you looked like Renee."

I hissed; Bella stared in horror. This was headed in a dangerous direction.

"After a few minutes, he asked, real quietly, if you turned into an animal, too. And I said, 'She wishes she was that cool!'" Jacob chuckled.

Rosalie made a noise of disgust.

"I started to tell him more about werewolves, but I didn't even get the whole word out—Charlie cut me off and said he'd 'rather not know the specifics.' Then he asked if you'd known what you were getting yourself into when you married Edward, and I said, 'Sure, she's known all about this for years, since she first came to Forks.' He didn't like _that_ very much. I let him rant till he got it out of his system. After he got calmed down, he just wanted two things. He wanted to see you, and I said it would be better if he gave me a head start to explain."

Bella inhaled deeply. "What was the other thing he wanted?"

Jacob smiled. "You'll like this. His main request is that he be told as little as possible about _all_ of this. If it's not absolutely essential for him to know something, then keep it to yourself. Need to know, only."

"I can handle that part," Bella said, sounding slightly relieved.

"Other than that, he'd just like to pretend things are normal," Jacob said, his smile turning smug. He was suspecting that Bella was starting to feel the faint stirrings of gratitude right about now.

"What did you tell him about Renesmee?" Bella demanded, her voice not quite as icy as before.

"Oh yeah. So I told him that you and Edward had inherited a new little mouth to feed." He glanced at me. "She's your orphaned ward—like Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson." Jacob snorted. "I didn't think you'd mind me lying. That's all part of the game, right?"

I didn't answer.

"Charlie was way past being shocked at this point, but he did ask if you were adopting her. 'Like a daughter? Like I'm sort of a grandfather?' were his exact words. I told him yes. 'Congrats, Gramps,' and all that. He even smiled a little."

"But she's changing so fast," Bella whispered.

"I told him that she was more special than all of us put together," Jacob said in a soft voice. It sounded reverent, like the way people spoke of their gods. He stood and walked over to Bella, waving Seth and Leah off when they started to follow. Renesmee reached out to him, but Bella just hugged her tighter. "I told him, 'Trust me, you don't want to know about this. But if you can ignore all the strange parts, you're going to be amazed. She's the most wonderful person in the whole world.' And then I told him that if he could deal with that, you all would stick around for a while and he would have a chance to get to know her. But that if it was too much for him, you would leave. He said as long as no one forced too much information on him, he'd deal."

Jacob stared at Bella with half a smile, waiting for a response.

"I'm not going to say thank you," Bella told him. "You're still putting Charlie at a huge risk."

"I _am_ sorry about it hurting you," Jacob said, truly sorry. "I didn't know it was like that. Bella, things are different with us now, but you'll always be my best friend and I'll always love you. But I'll love you the right way now. There's finally a balance. We _both_ have people we can't live without."

And then I saw exactly why Jacob had done what he'd done. He couldn't let us leave, and take Renesmee, the object of his imprinting, with us. He couldn't bear being apart from her. And he couldn't bear being away from Bella, either. He wasn't in love with my wife anymore—thank heaven for that—but he still loved her, as a friend. She was still his best friend, and he would still be saddened to have her leave. So he'd done what he'd done because he thought that Charlie knowing about us would mean that we could stay here.

I hadn't completely forgiven Jacob because I knew that Bella would be in pain now no matter what, but I wasn't quite as furious with him as I had been. If I'd been in his shoes, I probably would have done the exact same thing.

Jacob smiled Bella's favorite Jacob-y smile. "Still friends?"

I could tell Bella was trying to resist, but she couldn't help smiling back. Just a tiny smile.

He held out his hand to her.

Bella took a deep breath and shifted Renesmee so she could hold her in one arm. She put her left hand in his, and he didn't even flinch at her cold skin. He was used to it now.

"If I don't kill Charlie tonight, I'll consider forgiving you for this," Bella said.

"_When_ you don't kill Charlie tonight, you'll owe me huge."

She rolled her eyes.

He held out his other hand toward Renesmee. "Can I?"

"I'm actually holding her so that my hands aren't free to kill you, Jacob. Maybe later."

He sighed but didn't push the subject. Given the anxiety I still saw on Bella's face, that was the wise thing to do.

Alice raced back through the door then, her hands full and her expression promising violence.

"You, you, and you," she snapped, glaring at the wolves. "If you must stay, get over in the corner and commit to being there for a while. I need to _see._ Bella, you'd better give him the baby, too. You'll need your arms free, anyway."

Jacob grinned triumphantly.

"Take her," Bella whispered, sliding our daughter into Jacob's arms.

He nodded, concerned for Bella. He felt a little sick at the pain that this was going to cause Bella. He gestured to the others, and they all went to the far corner of the room. Seth and Jacob slouched on the floor at once, but Leah shook her head and pursed her lips.

"Am I allowed to leave?" she griped.

"Of course," Jacob told her.

"Stay east so you don't cross Charlie's path," Alice requested as Leah ducked out the door and stomped into the bushes to phase.

I went to Bella's side and stroked her face, trying to calm her. "You can do this. I know you can. I'll help you; we all will."

Bella gazed into my eyes, fear and panic screaming from her face.

"If I didn't believe you could handle it, we'd disappear today. This very minute. But you can. And you'll be happier if you can have Charlie in your life," I told her.

Bella attempted to stop hyperventilating.

Alice held out her hand, which contained a box of brown contact lenses. "These will irritate your eyes—they won't hurt, but they'll cloud your vision. It's annoying. They also won't match your old color, but it's still better than bright red, right?"

She flipped the contact box into the air; Bella caught it easily.

"When did you—," Bella started to ask.

"Before you left on the honeymoon. I was prepared for several possible futures."

Bella nodded and opened the container. She took a lens out and put it in. She blinked to make sure it was in.

"I see what you mean," she murmured as she stuck the other one in.

"How do I look?" she asked when the lenses were in.

I smiled. "Gorgeous. Of course—"

"Yes, yes, she always looks gorgeous," Alice finished my sentence impatiently. "It's better than red, but that's the highest commendation I can give. Muddy brown. Your brown was much prettier. Keep in mind that those won't last forever—the venom in your eyes will dissolve them in a few hours. So if Charlie stays longer than that, you'll have to excuse yourself to replace them. Which is a good idea anyway, because humans need bathroom breaks." She shook her head, trying to remember what else she had to do to prepare for Charlie's visit. And then she remembered. "Esme, give her a few pointers on acting human while I stock the powder room with contacts."

"How long do I have?" Esme asked.

"Charlie will be here in five minutes," Alice told her. "Keep it simple."

Esme nodded once and then came to take Bella's hand. "The main thing is not to sit too still or move too fast."

"Sit down if he does," Emmett interjected. "Humans don't like to just stand there."

"Let your eyes wander every thirty seconds or so," Jasper added. "Humans don't stare at one thing for too long."

"Cross your legs for about five minutes, then switch to crossing your ankles for the next five," Rosalie suggested.

Bella nodded once at each suggestion.

"And blink at least three times a minute," Emmett told her. He frowned, trying to decide what to do, and then darted to where the remote control sat on the end of the table. He flipped the TV on to a college football game. Good choice; Charlie liked sports.

"Move your hands, too," Jasper suggested. "Brush your hair back or pretend to scratch something."

"I said _Esme_," Alice complained as she returned. "You'll overwhelm her."

"No, I think I got it all," Bella assured her. "Sit, look around, blink, fidget."

"Right," Esme approved, hugging Bella's shoulders.

Jasper frowned, remembering something he'd left out. "You'll be holding your breath as much as possible, but you need to move your shoulders a little to make it _look_ like you're breathing."

Bella inhaled and then nodded.

I hugged her on her free side. "You can do this," I murmured in her ear.

"Two minutes," Alice told us. "Maybe you should start out already on the couch. You've been sick, after all. That way he won't have to see you move right at first."

Alice pulled her to the sofa. She tried to move slowly and appear clumsy. It looked a little ridiculous, really. Alice rolled her eyes, and Bella gave up.

"Jacob, I need Renesmee," Bella said.

Jacob frowned and didn't move.

Alice shook her head. "Bella, that doesn't help me see."

"But I _need _her," Bella insisted. "She keeps me calm." The edge of panic in her voice was unmistakable.

"Fine," Alice groaned. "Hold her as still as you can and I'll _try_ to see around her." She sighed in resignation, like we'd just asked her to work overtime on a holiday. Jacob sighed, too, but brought Renesmee to her. He retreated quickly back to the corner, away from Alice's menacing glare.

I sat beside my wife and put my arms around her and my daughter. I leaned forward and looked Renesmee in the eye.

"Renesmee, someone special is coming to see you and your mother," I told her. She looked back at me, understanding everything I was saying. "But he's not like us, or even like Jacob. We have to be very careful with him. You shouldn't tell him things the way you tell us."

Renesmee touched my face, verifying that she'd understood correctly.

"Exactly," I told her. "And he's going to make you thirsty. But you mustn't bite him. He won't heal like Jacob."

"Can she understand you?" Bella whispered.

"She understands. You'll be careful, won't you, Renesmee? You'll help us?"

Renesmee touched my face again, asking if it was all right if she bit Jacob.

"No, I don't care if you bite Jacob. That's fine."

Jacob chuckled.

"Maybe you should leave, Jacob," I suggested, glaring at him. He definitely wasn't forgiven yet.

"I told Charlie I'd be here," Jacob said. "He needs the moral support."

"Moral support," I scoffed. "As far as Charlie knows, you're the most repulsive monster of us all."

"Repulsive?" Jacob protested, and then laughed, realizing that, in Charlie's eyes, this was true.

Charlie had turned off the highway and was now heading up our long driveway. Bella's breathing spiked again. And then she wore a look of intense concentration and calmed down pretty quickly. What I wouldn't have given to be able to read her thoughts right now.

"Well done, Bella," Jasper whispered in approval when he noticed the change in Bella's emotions.

I tightened my arm around Bella's shoulders.

"You're sure?" Bella asked me uncertainly.

"Positive," I assured her. "You can do _anything._" I smiled and kissed her.

The kiss turned more intense than I'd originally meant it to be, and Jasper felt Bella's mood change.

"Er, Edward, you might not want to distract her like that right now," he said, a little embarrassed. "She needs to be able to focus."

I pulled away. "Oops."

Bella laughed, and I thought I had a pretty good idea of why. That had been _her_ line from the very beginning, from our very first kiss.

"Later," she said.

"Focus, Bella," Jasper urged.

"Right," Bella said. According to Jasper, she was starting to calm down and then was anxious again.

"Bella," Jasper scolded gently.

"Sorry, Jasper."

Emmett laughed. I really wanted to have a go at him for egging Bella on like that.

Charlie pulled in front of the house and idled for a few seconds. He was as nervous as Bella seemed to be. The engine cut off, and the door slammed. Not only was he nervous, but he was also furious with me now for doing whatever I'd done to Bella. He walked up to the front door, took two deep breaths, and knocked on the door.

Bella inhaled deeply. Renesmee nestled into her arms, burying her face in Bella's hair.

Carlisle answered the door, putting on a serene mask of welcome instantly. He was quite good at masking his anxiety when he needed to.

"Hello, Charlie," he said warmly, looking appropriately abashed. After all, we were supposed to have been in Atlanta.

"Carlisle," Charlie greeted him stiffly. "Where's Bella?"

"Right here, Dad," Bella answered.

For a second, Bella's face twisted in horror, I guessed at the sound of her new voice, and then she took a deep breath.

Charlie didn't even recognize Bella's voice at all, and his thoughts were of wordless shock. He finally saw Bella, and his eyes widened.

I read the emotions in his mind as they registered.

Shock. Disbelief. Pain. Loss. Fear. Anger. Suspicion. More pain.

Bella bit her lip out of lingering human habit.

"Is that you, Bella?" he whispered.

"Yep," Bella said as casually as she could manage, wincing. "Hi, Dad."

He took a deep breath to try to calm down.

"Hey, Charlie," Jacob greeted him from the corner. "How're things?"

Charlie glowered at Jacob and shuddered at the memory of Jacob phasing in front of him. Then he looked back at Bella.

Slowly, he walked across the room until he was just a few feet away from us. He shot an accusing glare at me, still convinced that I was to blame for this—which, admittedly, I was. I knew the warmth of his body heat had to be torturous for Bella. I wanted to kill Jacob right now for making Bella endure this agony.

"Bella?" Charlie asked again.

Bella tried to speak in a lower voice. "It's really me."

Charlie clenched his jaw, furious at me.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Bella told him.

"Are you okay?" he demanded.

"Really and truly great. Healthy as a horse."

"Jake told me this was…necessary. That you were dying."

Bella locked her muscles down, wearing a look of intense concentration, and leaned into me. She took a deep breath, trying as hard as she could to keep the agonizing pain she felt off of her face. I squeezed her shoulders sympathetically, and Jacob shot an apologetic glance at her from across the room.

"Jacob was telling you the truth," Bella told Charlie.

"That makes one of you," he growled.

Renesmee sniffed as Charlie's scent registered with her, too. Bella tightened her grip on our daughter, but it wasn't really necessary. Renesmee had acknowledged the thirst, but overrode it in the same thought. She understood that she couldn't bite Charlie.

Charlie saw Bella's anxious glance down and followed it. "Oh," he said, and all the anger fell from his face, leaving only shock behind. Now that he was convinced that Bella was okay, he wasn't as angry anymore, although his thoughts toward me were as antagonistic as ever. "This is her. The orphan Jacob said you're adopting."

"My niece," I lied smoothly. The resemblance between my daughter and me was too pronounced to be ignored. Best to claim that we were related from the beginning.

"I thought you'd lost your family," Charlie said accusingly. He didn't fully believe me.

"I lost my parents," I told him. "My older brother was adopted, like me. I never saw him after that. But the courts located me when he and his wife died in a car accident, leaving their only child without any other family."

My lie was so good, I almost believed it myself. But it wouldn't do at all to grin right now.

Renesmee peeked out from under Bella's hair, sniffing again. She glanced shyly at Charlie from under her long lashes, and then hid in her mother's hair again.

"She's…well, she's a beauty."

"Yes," I agreed.

"Kind of a big responsibility, though. You two are just getting started."

"What else could we do?" I brushed my fingers lightly over my daughter's cheek, touching her lips for just a moment—a reminder. "Would you have refused her?"

"Hmph. Well." He shook his head absently, still in shock. "Jake says you call her Nessie?"

"No, we don't," Bella said, annoyed. "Her name is Renesmee."

Charlie refocused on Bella. "How do you feel about this? Maybe Carlisle and Esme could—"

"She's mine," she interrupted. "I _want_ her."

Charlie frowned. "You gonna make me a grandpa so young?"

I smiled. "Carlisle is a grandfather, too," I reminded him.

Charlie shot an incredulous glance at Carlisle, still standing by the front door; he looked like Zeus's younger, better-looking brother.

Charlie snorted and then laughed. "I guess that does sort of make me feel better." His eyes strayed back to Renesmee. "She sure is something to look at."

Renesmee leaned toward the smell, just to smell it more clearly. She had no intention of harming Charlie. She shook out of Bella's hair and looked Charlie full in the face for the first time.

Charlie gasped. He saw Bella's eyes—his eyes—copied exactly into our daughter's face. He started hyperventilating. His lips trembled, and he started counting backward, trying to make the numbers add up. Trying to put it together, but not able to force the evidence to make sense. Because it wasn't humanly possible for Bella and I to have a child who looked well on her way to being a toddler.

Jacob got up and came over to pat Charlie on the back. He leaned in to whisper in Charlie's ear.

"Need to know, Charlie. It's okay. I promise."

Charlie swallowed and nodded. And then he was furious at me, this time for getting his daughter pregnant while she was still so young. I fought back a snort of amusement as I remembered Charlie's thoughts on Bella's graduation day, thinking that Bella would get pregnant with my child within the first year she was away from home. He'd been right.

Charlie's eyes were blazing and his fists were tightly clenched as he took a step toward me.

"I don't want to know everything, but I'm done with the lies!" he thundered.

"I'm sorry," I said calmly, "but you need to know the public story more than you need to know the truth. If you're going to be part of this secret, the public story is the one that counts. It's to protect Bella and Renesmee as well as the rest of us. Can you go along with the lies for them?"

Everyone was frozen as they awaited Charlie's verdict.

Charlie huffed once and then turned his glare on Bella. "You might've given me some warning, kid."

"Would it really have made this any easier?" she asked.

He frowned, and then he knelt on the floor in front of his daughter. I knew his warm, pulsing blood wouldn't escape Bella's notice or Renesmee's.

Renesmee smiled and reached her hand out to him. Bella held her back. She pushed her other hand against her mother's face, telling her that she acknowledged the thirst, but overrode it.

"Whoa," Charlie gasped, his eyes on her teeth as she smiled widely at him. "How old is she?"

"Three months," I told him, and then added slowly, "rather, she's the size of a three-month-old, more or less. She's younger in some ways, more mature in others."

Renesmee waved at him.

Charlie blinked spastically in shock.

Jacob elbowed him. "Told you she was special, didn't I?"

Charlie cringed away from the contact, still not over this afternoon's events.

"Oh, c'mon, Charlie," Jacob groaned. "I'm the same person I've always been. Just pretend this afternoon didn't happen."

The reminder made Charlie's lips go white, but he nodded once. "Just what _is_ your part in all this, Jake?" he asked. "How much does Billy know? Why are you here?" He looked at Jacob's face, which was glowing as he gazed at my daughter.

"Well, I could tell you all about it—Billy knows absolutely everything—but it involves a lot of stuff about werewo—"

"Ungh!" Charlie protested, covering his ears. "Never mind."

Jacob grinned. "Everything's going to be great, Charlie. Just try not to believe anything you see."

Charlie mumbled something that sounded like grudging acceptance.

"Woo!" Emmett suddenly boomed in his deep bass. "Go Gators!"

Jacob and Charlie jumped. The rest of us froze in shock.

Charlie recovered, and then looked at Emmett over his shoulder. "Florida winning?"

"Just scored the first touchdown." He shot a look in Bella's direction, wagging his eyebrows like a villain in vaudeville. "'Bout time somebody scored around here."

I fought back a growl. All right, he could tease us about our sex life in private. But in front of Bella's father? That was over the line. I didn't know how yet, but Emmett was going to pay for that once Charlie left.

But Charlie was beyond noticing innuendos, thankfully. He took another deep breath, lurched to his feet, stepped around Jacob, and half-fell into an open chair. "Well," he sighed, "I guess we should see if they can hold on to the lead."


	27. 24 Shiny

24. Shiny

"I don't know how much we should tell Renee about this," Charlie said to Bella, hesitating with one foot out the door. He was a little reluctant to leave us, thinking that we might disappear in the morning. Kind of like Bella had felt on the first night I'd stayed with her. Charlie stretched, and then his stomach growled.

Bella nodded. "I know. I don't want to freak her out. Better to protect her. This stuff isn't for the fainthearted."

He smiled half a smile. "I would have tried to protect you, too, if I'd known how. But I guess you've never fallen into the fainthearted category, have you?"

Bella smiled back, taking a breath that I knew would scorch her throat like someone had ignited a flamethrower inside her.

Charlie patted his stomach absently. "I'll think of something. We've got time to discuss this, right?"

"Right," she said.

It had been a long day in some ways, and so short in others. Charlie was late for dinner—Sue Clearwater was cooking for him and Billy. I was sure that would be a very awkward evening, at the very least.

The tension had made the minutes pass slowly, but I knew Bella was glad that she would be able to have Charlie in her life, too. Charlie had never relaxed the stiff set of his shoulders, and he was still furious with me for doing this to Bella. But he'd been in no hurry to leave, either. He'd watched two whole games—thankfully so absorbed in his thoughts that he was totally oblivious to Emmett's suggestive jokes that got more pointed and less football-related with each aside—and the after-game commentaries, and then the news, not moving until Seth had reminded him of the time.

"You gonna stand Billy and my mom up, Charlie? C'mon. Bella and Nessie'll be here tomorrow. Let's get some grub, eh?"

Charlie hadn't trusted Seth's promise that Bella and Renesmee would still be here in the morning, but he'd let Seth lead the way out. He was still in doubt as he paused now.

"Jake says you guys were going to take off on me," he muttered to Bella.

"I didn't want to do that if there was any way at all around it. That's why we're still here."

"He said you could stay for a while but only if I'm tough enough, and if I can keep my mouth shut."

"Yes…," Bella hesitated, "but I can't promise that we'll never leave, Dad. It's pretty complicated…"

"Need to know," he interrupted.

"Right."

"You'll visit, though, if you have to go?"

"I promise, Dad. Now that you know _just_ enough, I think this can work. I'll keep as close as you want."

Charlie chewed on his lip for half a second, then leaned slowly toward his daughter with his arms cautiously extended. Bella shifted Renesmee—napping now—to her left arm, and I could tell she was holding her breath as she wrapped her right arm lightly around her father.

"Keep real close, Bells," he whispered. "Real close."

"Love you, Dad," Bella whispered.

Charlie shivered at Bella's cold skin and pulled away. She dropped her arm instantly.

"Love you, too, kid," he said. "Whatever else has changed, that hasn't." He touched Renesmee's cheek with one finger. "She sure looks a lot like you."

"More like Edward, I think," Bella said. I could tell, if Charlie couldn't, that her casual tone and expression were just a mask. She was still nervous. After a moment, she added, "She has your curls."

Charlie started, then snorted. "Huh. Guess she does. Huh. Grandpa," he muttered to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. "Do I ever get to hold her?"

Bella blinked in shock, and then composed herself. I could see her deliberate for half a second before she said, "Here," and handed our daughter to Charlie. He automatically made an awkward cradle with his arms, and Bella tucked Renesmee into it.

Charlie grunted quietly as he felt her weight. "She's…sturdy."

Bella frowned.

"Sturdy is good," Charlie assured her. "She'll need to be tough, surrounded by all this craziness," he muttered to himself. He bounced his arms gently, swaying a little from side to side. "Prettiest baby I ever saw, including you, kid. Sorry, but it's true."

"I know it is," Bella said.

"Pretty baby," Charlie said again, but this time it was closer to a coo. He was just as helpless against my daughter's magic as the rest of us; two seconds in his arms and she owned him.

"Can I come back tomorrow?" Charlie asked.

"Sure, Dad. Of course. We'll be here."

"You'd better be," he said in a mockingly stern voice, but his face was soft, still gazing at Renesmee, marveling at her. "See you tomorrow, Nessie."

"Not you, too!" Bella complained.

I suppressed a chuckle. I really didn't think the nickname Jacob had given our daughter was all that horrible. It amused me that Bella hated it so much.

"Huh?" Charlie asked.

"Her name is _Renesmee,_" Bella said, exasperated. "Like Renee and Esme, put together. No variations. Do you want to hear her middle name?"

"Sure."

I was quite curious as well; Bella had never told me our daughter's middle name.

"Carlie. With a C. Like Carlisle and Charlie put together."

Of course. It made perfect sense to me. It was so like Bella to try to pay tribute to both sets of parents when naming our daughter.

Charlie's grin lit up his face. He was thrilled with this. "Thanks, Bells."

"Thank _you,_ Dad. So much has changed so quickly. My head hasn't stopped spinning. If I didn't have you now, I don't know how I'd keep my grip on—on reality."

I wondered if Charlie had noticed Bella stuttering. I certainly had, and I wondered what it was that she'd been about to say. One thing was for sure, though: so much _had_ changed within the course of just a few days. A few days ago, I was in agony, worrying about whether my wife would survive her pregnancy. A few days ago, the werewolves had been about to attack us. A few days ago, Bella had still been a human. It was dizzying to think about.

Charlie's stomach growled.

"Go eat, Dad," Bella insisted. "We _will_ be here."

Charlie nodded and then reluctantly returned Renesmee to Bella. He glanced past her into the house; his eyes were a little wild with shock.

Jacob was raiding the refrigerator in the kitchen, and everyone else was in the living room. Alice was lounging on the bottom step of the staircase with Jasper's head in her lap; Carlisle had his head bent over a fat book in his lap; Esme was humming to herself, sketching on a notepad, while Rosalie and Emmett laid out the foundation for a monumental house of cards under the stairs. I had drifted to my piano and was playing softly to myself—a new song, for my daughter. I still hadn't figured it all out, but it was coming along nicely. There was no evidence that the day was coming to a close, that it might be time to eat or shift activities in preparation for the evening.

Our human charade had slipped ever so slightly; suddenly, without even talking about it beforehand, we'd all just stopped trying quite so hard to be human. It was a subtle change, intangible, but Charlie noticed the difference, and it unsettled him.

He shuddered, shook his head, and sighed. "See you tomorrow, Bella." He frowned, pondering the change in Bella's appearance, and then added, "I mean, it's not like you don't look…good. I'll get used to it."

No matter how many times I read people's minds and knew that they noticed a difference in Bella's appearance, it still startled me that all of a sudden, they saw the beauty that they hadn't seen before. It amazed me that they'd missed it while she was still human.

"Thanks, Dad," Bella said, sounding a bit embarrassed.

Charlie nodded and walked to his car, still trying to process today's events.

"Wow," Bella whispered.

I stopped playing the piano and raced to stand behind Bella, wrapping my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder. _Wow_ was the understatement of the century. Bella was just days old and she'd just made it through a whole day without hurting her human father.

"You took the word right out of my mouth," I whispered into her ear.

"Edward, I did it!"

"You did. You were unbelievable." Literally unbelievable. I still couldn't believe it. "All that worrying over being a newborn, and then you skip it altogether." I laughed quietly.

"I'm not even sure she's really a vampire, let alone a newborn," Emmett called from under the stairs. "She's too _tame_."

Bella snarled under her breath, I imagined from remembering all the embarrassing comments Emmett had made in front of her father.

"Oooo, scary," Emmett laughed.

Bella hissed, and Renesmee stirred in her arms. She blinked a few times, and then looked around, a little disoriented after her nap. She sniffed, trying to ascertain if Charlie was still here, and then touched her mother's face for confirmation of what her nose was already telling her.

"Charlie will be back tomorrow," Bella assured her.

"Excellent," Emmett said. Rosalie laughed with him this time.

And suddenly I knew _exactly _how to make Emmett pay for embarrassing my wife so horribly, and also how to avoid future embarrassment. I remembered a favor I'd asked Bella to do for me when she became a vampire.

"Not brilliant, Emmett," I said scornfully, holding out my hands to take my daughter. I winked when Bella hesitated, so she handed Renesmee to me, a confused expression on her face.

"What do you mean?" Emmett demanded.

"It's a little dense, don't you think, to antagonize the strongest vampire in the house?"

Emmett threw back his head and snorted. "_Please!_"

"Bella," I murmured to her while Emmett listened closely, "do you remember a few months ago, I asked you to do me a favor once you were immortal?"

After a moment, Bella gasped. "Oh!"

Alice trilled a long, pealing laugh, foreseeing the outcome of the arm-wrestling match that Bella was about to challenge Emmett to. Jacob poked his head around the corner, his mouth stuffed with food.

"What?" Emmett growled, irritated that he wasn't in the know.

"Really?" Bella asked me.

"Trust me," I said.

Bella took a deep breath. "Emmett, how you do you feel about a little bet?"

He hopped to his feet in a flash. "Awesome. Bring it."

Bella bit her lip, hesitating.

"Unless you're too afraid…?" he taunted.

She squared her shoulders. "You. Me. Arm-wrestling. Dining room table. Now."

Emmett grinned widely.

"Er, Bella," Alice said quickly, "I think Esme is fairly fond of that table. It's an antique."

"Thanks," Esme mouthed.

"No problem," Emmett said, still grinning. "Right this way, Bella."

We all followed him out the back, toward the garage. There was a largish granite boulder standing up out of a tumble of rocks near the river; that was Emmett's goal. Though the big rock was a little rounded and irregular, it would do the job.

Emmett placed his elbow on the rock and waved Bella forward.

Bella looked a little apprehensive as she set her elbow against the stone.

"Okay, Emmett. I win, and you cannot say one more word about my sex life to anyone, not even Rose. No allusions, no innuendos—no nothing."

I liked these terms very much.

He narrowed his eyes, not thrilled. "Deal. I win, and it's going to get a lot worse."

Bella stopped breathing; Emmett grinned evilly.

"You gonna back down so easy, little sister?" he taunted. "Not much wild about _you_, is there? I bet that cottage doesn't even have a scratch." He laughed. "Did Edward tell you how many houses Rose and I smashed?"

No, obviously, I hadn't told her, because it wasn't important. The quality of a vampire's sex life did _not_, in fact, revolve around the number of houses they destroyed in the throes of passion. Based on last night, I was quite sure of that.

Bella gritted her teeth and grabbed Emmett's hand. "One, two—"

"Three," he grunted, and shoved against Bella's hand.

Nothing happened. Oh, Emmett was exerting all of his force, but he was getting nowhere. Bella was too strong, and he was annoyed. After a few seconds, Bella's expression became bored, and she flexed; Emmett lost an inch.

She laughed while Emmett snarled harshly through his teeth.

"Just keep your mouth shut," she muttered, and then she smashed his hand into the boulder. A deafening crack echoed off the trees. The rock shuddered, and about an eighth of the mass broke off at an invisible fault line and crashed to the ground. It fell on Emmett's foot, and Bella snickered.

Jacob and I had to muffle our laughter.

Emmett kicked the rock fragment across the river. It sliced a young maple in half before thudding into the base of a big fir, which swayed and then fell into another tree.

"Rematch. Tomorrow," he insisted.

"It's not going to wear off that fast," Bella said, clearly pleased with herself. "Maybe you ought to give it a month."

Emmett growled, flashing his teeth. He didn't like losing, especially not to Bella. "Tomorrow."

"Hey, whatever makes you happy, big brother."

As he turned to stalk away, Emmett punched the granite, shattering off an avalanche of shards and powder.

A fascinated look crossed Bella's face as she placed her hand, fingers spread wide, against the rock. She dug her fingers slowly into the stone, crushing rather than digging, and ended up with a handful of gravel.

"Cool," she mumbled.

With a huge grin on her face, Bella whirled in a circle and karate-chopped the rock. The stone shrieked and groaned and—with a big poof of dust—split in two.

She giggled as she punched and kicked the rest of the boulder into fragments.

The rest of us giggled, too. I was thrilled that Bella seemed to be so happy in her new life, and thrilled to see her enjoying herself.

And then a new little giggle, like a high-pitched peal of bells, stopped us all cold in our tracks.

"Did she just laugh?" Bella asked, turning away from her game.

Everyone was staring at Renesmee with the same awed and dumbstruck expression.

"Yes," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. In truth, I was worried. Renesmee was so advanced. How long did she have to live if she kept advancing like this?

"Who _wasn't_ laughing?" Jacob muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Tell me you didn't let go a bit on your first run, dog," I teased without a trace of antagonism.

"That's different," Jacob said, mock punching my shoulder. "Bella's supposed to be a grown-up. Married and a mom and all that. Shouldn't there be more dignity?"

Renesmee frowned; she was having fun watching her mother enjoy herself. She touched my face.

"What does she want?" Bella asked.

"Less dignity," I said, grinning. "She was having almost as much fun watching you enjoy yourself as I was."

"Am I funny?" she asked, darting back and reaching for Renesmee at the same time that Renesmee reached for her. Bella took Renesmee out of my arms and offered her the shard of rock in her hand. "You want to try?"

Renesmee smiled and took the stone in both hands. She squeezed, a little dent forming between her eyebrows as she concentrated.

There was a tiny grinding sound, and a bit of dust. She frowned and held the chunk up to Bella.

"I'll get it," Bella said, pinching the stone into sand.

She clapped and laughed, and the beautiful sound made us all join in.

The sun suddenly burst through the clouds, shooting long beams of ruby and gold across the ten of us, and Bella seemed dazzled as she looked at her new skin in the light of the sunset.

I wasn't surprised. I was dazzled by her beauty, too. Of course, I always had been, but to see her glittering in the sunlight…it reminded me yet again that Bella was strong and immortal just like I was now. I would never have to lose her. And she really was breathtaking as she reflected the colors of the sunset off of her diamond-bright skin.

Renesmee stroked Bella's arm, and then laid her arm next to it. Her skin had just a faint luminosity, subtle and mysterious. Nothing that would keep her inside on a sunny day like the vampires' glowing sparkle. She touched, Bella's face, feeling disgruntled by the difference.

"You're the prettiest," Bella said.

"I'm not sure I can agree to that," I told Bella.

She turned to answer me, but she was dazzled again. I smiled. Just like when we'd first met. Stunned into silence. I was glad. I'd thought I'd never get to see that reaction again, the reaction that both thrilled and confused me. That Bella was so taken aback just by looking at me that it rendered her speechless.

Jacob had his hand in front of his face, pretending to shield his eyes from the glare. He, too, was dazzled by Bella's beauty in the sunlight, but, as usual, he decided to tease her.

"Freaky Bella," he commented.

"What an amazing creature she is," I murmured in agreement with his thoughts.

I smiled again as I realized that Bella was meant to be here with us. I had been foolish to fear this. She was such a natural at her new life; it was like she was born to be a vampire. She'd never really fit in with the humans. She had been shy and awkward and clumsy, a little socially challenged. But here, among her new family, she shined.

Bella had finally found the place where she belonged.


End file.
